29. Macy

Chapter 29

Macy

I plant my hands on either side of the sink and drop my head. I need to get myself together. I need to control my emotions and pretend everything is ok. There's no way for me to get to know him if I can't even be in the same room as him.

I suck in a deep breath and blow it out slowly. I can do this. I'm stronger than this.

I squeeze my eyes shut and count to ten. I'm only giving myself ten more seconds to freak out, then I'm going out there and getting this over with. I have Cord with me and I know he won't let things get out of hand. He'll take control and steer the conversations into safe territory.

Standing up straight, I smooth down my skirt again and lift my chin. I will not be afraid. He can't hurt me now, or ever again.

Slipping on an easy smile, I focus on putting one foot in front of the other. I step into the living room and Cord's gaze snaps to me. He watches me carefully the entire time I walk around the couch .

I know my father's gaze is on me, but I don't take my attention off of Cord. He's my strength right now. I need to keep my eyes on him until I can have his arm wrapped around me.

As soon as I'm seated on the couch, Cord's arm is around my shoulders and tugging me into his side. I place my hand on his chest and stare up at him. I can do this as long as I have him by my side. I just need to keep reminding myself I'm not alone.

"You wanted to talk?" I turn my attention to Micheal Hayes and keep my expression as blank and easy going as I can. I don't want him to see the weakness I feel when he's around. I don't want him to know the type of power he has over me.

"Yes." He clears his throat, looking more than a little uncomfortable. "I want to apologize for what happened. That night…"

"I don't want to talk about that night." My words come out firm and emotionless. I'm shocked because I can't get my hands to stop shaking.

He nods his head, but my comment doesn't deter him. "I was a horrible father to you and Liam. I regret everything that happened and I'd love another chance to be in your life."

"Why do you think you deserve another chance?"

"I don't, Macy. I don't deserve a damn thing from you. If anything, I deserve you telling me to fuck off and never speak to you again… but I'm really hoping you don't," his words come out barely above a whisper.

He leans forward until his elbows are resting on his knees and he drops his head. He looks so defeated. So tired and broken.

I stare down at my hands, warring with myself. A part of me wants to tell him to fuck off. Tell him there's nothing he can do to make up for the past. But the other part of me wants to see the dad I've missed for most of my life. I want to see if the man who used to sing me silly songs and kiss me goodnight is still in there.

Cord squeezes my hand gently and I glance up at him. Giving him another chance was the best decision I've ever made, maybe the same will happen if I give Dad another shot.

"You get a trial period," I say firmly as I scoot to the edge of my seat. Dad's head snaps up to meet my eyes.

"Really?"

"You get one month. If you do anything I don't like in that month, you're done. You will respect boundaries and any wish I voice. We're doing things my way and that's it."

"Yeah. I can do that." He nods his head eagerly. "I can happily do all of that."

Tears fill his eyes as he watches me carefully. I've never seen someone look so happy, yet so destroyed at the same time.

"Thank you, Macy. You don't know how much this chance means to me. I promise I won't do anything to screw it up."

"I'll believe it when I see it." I slap my hands down on my thighs. "Ok, I'm hungry. Are you going to feed me now, handsome?" I glance over my shoulder at Cord .

"Of course. I wouldn't want you to get hangry." He grins and winks at me. "She's mean when she gets hangry."

"She always was." Dad chuckles. "Or if you try to wake her up before nine in the morning."

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Cord stands and lifts me into his arms bridal style. "C'mon, pretty girl. I bought your favorite for dinner."

"Catalino's?"

"What else would I get you? C'mon, Micheal. If you don't claim some food, she'll eat all of it. Don't let her tiny body fool you. She'll eat any professional athlete under the table."

"Oh, shut up! It was one time and I was really hungry. You made me run and run and run with you. It was like fifteen miles." I roll my eyes and Cord places me in my chair at the table and begins going through the bags on the counter.

"It was one and a half, babe." Cord smirks.

"Well, it felt like it took five hours."

"Because you didn't want to sweat. I swear I could walk faster than you were running."

"Hey! You're my boyfriend. You're not supposed to be mean." I stick out my bottom lip in a pout, knowing what it will force him to do.

"I am not, and you know it." Cord drops what he's doing and rounds the counter until he's standing right in front of me. He drops down to his knee and takes my face gently in his hands. He presses the softest and briefest kiss to my lips before he returns to what he was doing. "A little of everything?" He arches a brow.

"Always."

"Micheal?"

"Whatever she's having sounds good to me." He smiles at us, clearly enjoying just being with us.

"Babe? Do you want some wine?"

My eyes widen and my gaze snaps to Dad. Cord can't be serious.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I say slowly.

"Macy… it's ok. I've been sober for a very long time. In fact, I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since I was put in prison. I can be around it without having any sort of craving."

"No, it's ok. I don't need wine."

"Cord? Would she normally drink wine with her dinner?" Dad asks without taking his eyes off of me.

"Yeah, she loves having a glass with dinner."

"Then give her a glass."

I open my mouth to protest, but both of them give me looks, silently telling me to let it go. I frown at them, not liking how they're teaming up against me.

Cord places a glass in front of me and pours my favorite wine into it. I glance up at him and he winks at me, making any annoyance I had towards him disappear. He looks too adorable when he winks .

"So, Macy, what do you do for a living?" Dad eyes me carefully. He almost seems more nervous than I am.

"Well, I'm in public relations. I just recently started working for the Philadelphia Pit Bulls."

"Do you like it there?"

"She better love it there," Cord grumbles under his breath, making us all laugh.

"It's amazing. I love Owen and getting to work with him. Plus, seeing this guy multiple times a day isn't a hardship." I lean into Cord and he presses a soft kiss to the top of my head.

"Owen's your dad, right, Cord?"

"Yes. He owns the team, but likes to work closely in the day-to-day operations now that he's basically retired from Scott Powell and Coleman."

"Wait…he's that Powell?" Dad blinks at us a few times.

"Yeah." Cord chuckles. I'm sure this isn't the first time he's been asked that.

"Wow. I don't even know what to say."

"Well, if you ever meet him, you'll feel the same way. Anything that comes out of his mouth always makes people speechless, except Macy. She handles him like a pro and gives it right back."

"I hope one day I can meet him and witness them together." He smiles softly at me.

We're quiet for a few minutes. I'm not great at uncomfortable situations. Sure, I deal with them all the time at work, but that's different. Most of the time I have no emotions involved there. Here, I'm feeling everything too deeply.

"Have you seen Liam yet?" I ask slowly. Dad perks up at the mention of my brother.

"Yes! I got to have lunch with him and Miranda yesterday. They seem really happy."

"How did things go with them?" Cord's voice is gentle and it makes me fall a little harder for him.

He could be a total ass to my dad, and honestly, I wouldn't blame him for it, but he's not. He's trying to treat him with respect and kindness, and I love that.

I don't know what I want out of this dinner. Sure, I'd love to have Dad back in my life, but I'm also terrified of letting that happen. But he's the only parent I have left. Obviously, Mom doesn't care about us and isn't making any plans to come back. It would be nice to have someone other than Liam in my corner.

You always have the Powells.

The thought pushes through my head and makes me smile. I do have the Powells and I'm lucky for that. I don't know what I would do without them.

"Miranda kept in contact with me the entire time I was in prison and after I was released. I appreciate that more than she'll ever know. She didn't give me specifics about Liam's life unless he said she could, and she never gave me anything about you, Macy. She would tell me you were safe and happy, but that was it. I still clung to every tidbit she gave me. Just knowing my kids were ok was more of a blessing than I deserved." He swipes at his eyes as tears spill over.

I lump settles in my throat. For the few months we lived with Dad after Mom left, I never saw him cry. I saw the anger and resentment he felt towards Mom, but nothing else. Maybe I was too young to see what he was trying to hide, but maybe not. I just know I saw a side of Dad I didn't think existed. One I never wanted to meet.

"I know you don't want to talk about this, but I just want to say one thing, then I'll never talk about it again." He lifts his gaze and meets my eyes. "I don't know who I was after your mom left. I was so angry and bitter that she left not only me, but you and Liam too. I didn't know how to handle it and clearly, I chose the wrong way. Since I got sober, I'm left to remember how horribly I treated my children. Every day I was in prison, I had nothing else to focus on except how I destroyed you and almost killed my son. Nothing you say or do could make me feel worse about myself than I already do. Nothing could make me regret my actions more than I currently do. I'm so sorry, princess. I turned into a monster you never should've seen and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life. I'll never forget the look you gave me when Noah was holding me down. You stared at me like I was the most terrifying person you'd ever seen. That broke me. That sobered me faster than anything else could've. I'm so sorry, princess."

I swallow hard and stare up at the ceiling, trying to blink away my tears. I don't cry. Not in front of people. I don't want to be vulnerable or raw with him. He doesn't deserve that. Not yet.

But the way he keeps calling me princess… that's what he called me when I was little. He'd pat his lap and tell me to come sit with him while we read a story. It was always about a strong princess who had the world at her fingertips. He'd always tell me I had the world at my fingertips and I could do anything I wanted to.

I forgot about those times.

The night Liam was put in the hospital is the only night I kept in my head when it comes to Dad. I remembered the monster he was, not the gentle father he used to be.

"I forgot about the stories and how you used to call me princess," I say softly.

I'm already getting choked up and I hate it. Cord squeezes my hand and when I glance up at him, he nods his head. He's telling me to keep going. To be vulnerable. And for the first time in my life, that doesn't seem so scary because I have Cord at my side and I know he'll be there to hold me up when I crumble.