Chapter 37

There's an incessant beeping in my ears, one that wasn't there when the darkness swallowed me whole. The air is cold, making a chill run down my spine and simultaneously causing a blinding pain to run its course through me. What the hell is going on?

Did the fight leave ya already?

That's good. Just let it happen, Bailey.

You don't get to fucking leave me.

I said, shut the fuck up.

No.

No.

No.

The beeping gets louder, faster, just like my heartbeat. Mine thunders in my ears, rattles in my chest, and jumps at my throat. I can't make any sense of where I am, and that's when I realize I'm alive and haven't opened my eyes. Only I'm scared to. What will I find here? Will I be alone? How fucked up am I? Did he destroy the outside of me just as he did the inside?

I force myself to open my eyes, and they feel dry, like they've been submerged in sand, and maybe they have. My face was underwater after all…that's how my soul left my body. I'm a dead girl walking.

Except I'm not walking; I'm in a hospital bed, and the lights are so bright I have to squint to see through them. As my eyes finally focus, the first thing I see is a glass sliding door and a nurses' station. How did I get here? Surely Robert was not the one who brought me.

My hand flexes involuntarily, and it's then I realize that I'm holding on to something. Someone. I look down to see a head of dark hair draped over my lap, a straight nose, and full lips. Long eyelashes and the most beautiful fucking face I've ever had the privilege of gazing upon.

Theo.

"Theo," I whisper. "You're here?"

"I'll always be here," he replies on a whisper, and my lower lip trembles. "You're everything to me."

My stomach drops, and I try to sit up, just to cry out when I'm hit with a lightning bolt of pain right to my abdomen. Oh, shit. Robert?—

"He shot me?" I ask Theo, but I already know the answer. I remember everything down to my last miserable breath. Inhaling lungful's of water may have been worse than this pain, so I guess I'll make it through.

"Yes, B," Theo replies softly, then shakes someone on the other side of me. I glance over to see Cheyenne slumped in the chair with her head on the edge of the bed. Soft snores come from her, and when Theo nudges her again, she sits up swiftly.

"What ha—" Her eyes land on me and immediately well with tears. "Bai!"

She throws herself at me, engulfing me in a tight hug, and I whimper in pain. It feels like I have been run over, and then I look around and see the bags of blood, fluids, medications, and everything in between. God, he really messed me up. I'm lucky to be alive. I'm lucky to be here.

"I'm alive, Chey," I grunt as she continues to squeeze me. "Please let go now, I'm hurting."

Cheyenne immediately steps back, but with a smile on her face. "I honestly thought you were gone, you bitch." I chuckle, covering my abdomen when I feel a tug that I'm assuming are stitches, and immediately sober up. I don't want to tear them. "How could you do that to me? Die on me twice?"

Twice?

I flinch. "I'm sorry," I reply, shaking my head. Her eyes are full of panic now.

"I didn't mean it?—"

"Where is he?" I growl. "Did they find him?"

"Not yet," Theo replies softly. "Although they're working on it. He was stupid enough to take your car, so he'll turn up soon enough."

"Did they do the rape kit?"

Cheyenne winces at that, "Yes."

"How did I get here?" I ask her. "Who brought me here?"

Cheyenne opens her mouth, closes it, and peers over at Theo. He shakes his head, but she still says, "Theo did."

I glance over at him, at his bloodshot eyes, the way his bottom lip quivers as he stares at me. His hands shake in mine, and I look down at our connection.

"How?"

"I checked your location, B." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, I normally wouldn't do that, but I was worried?—"

"I'm glad you did," I interrupt, because is he actually kidding me? Does he think I'm going to be angry with him for saving my life? "Thank you."

Theo nods, squeezing my hand lightly in his. Just as he's about to pull away, I grip him firmly. "I love you, Bailey. I promise I won't let anyone else hurt you again. I'm sorry this happened—that I wasn't fast enough?—"

"Theo," I say soothingly, squeezing his hand once more. I wish I could've squeezed it as I died— "It's not your fault. He would've found a way to do it. He wants me dead."

"He doesn't get to take you from me," Theo says reverently. "Not again."

"I called for you," I whisper. "When I was dying, you were the last person on my mind. All I wanted was you—then everything went black."

"I know, baby," he whispers back. "I heard you. I was right there. I'm so sorry I wasn't fast enough. I was running?—"

"It's okay, Theo." I smile, but it's sad. "It already happened, don't beat yourself up over it. Stop living in the what-ifs. I don't want you to blame yourself—ever. He did this, not you. All you've ever done is put me back together."

"That's all I've ever wanted." Theo reaches out, his thumb brushing my chapped bottom lip. "Piece by jagged piece."

"Do you know if they gave me Plan B?" I ask him, and he rears back. "I'm sorry. I should've asked the nurse, not you."

"They haven't," he replies solemnly. "I can call her?—"

"I'll do it later."

His face is grim, "I'll respect whatever decision you make."

"Stop right there," I tell him. "There's no decision to make, Theo."

He nods in understanding. "Okay."

There's a moment of silence I'm desperate to break, except I don't even know what to say. I was raped, and now I may be pregnant with someone else's baby? I didn't choose this, and is it being stolen from me? But no, there's still a chance I'm not pregnant. And it's been, what? A day? I can't have been asleep longer than that. "How long have I been here?"

"In the ICU?" He asks with furrowed brows.

"Yes."

"Eighteen hours," he answers slowly. "Why?"

"I do need you to get that nurse."

Theo leaves as soon as the words are out of my mouth, and I breathe out a sigh of relief. If there's something I can control, it will be this. I was helpless to his assault—I fought him as much as I could until I couldn't anymore. However, he still did what he set out to do. This, though? I won't let him fucking have it. He won't get another part of me.

He's taken enough.

Nurse Ali comes in with Theo, and she has one single pill in her hand as she wheels in the computer behind her. She scans the medication wrapper, then my wristband, and hands it to me. My hands shake at the implication of what could've already happened—that this may not even work. Please don't fail me now, God. I still, however, manage to swallow the pill and an entire cup of water later. So I'm feeling hopeful.

"Thank you," I whisper, playing with my bloody fingernails. "For taking care of me,"

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," she replies. When I glance up, I see that she has a soft smile on her face. "You're so strong. You're the strongest woman I know."

Tears prick the back of my eyes again, and I breathe in deeply to keep them from falling. I don't reply, because what is there to say? I feel weak. I feel the furthest I've ever been from strong. At least the last time, before I ran, I was able to pick myself up off the damn floor and drive myself to the hospital. I was strong then. Now? I feel useless. Lying in a hospital bed, waiting around for the cops to catch him.

"Stop," Theo growls, returning to my side and tilting my chin up with a thumb and forefinger. "You are strong." My bottom lip trembles and he sucks in a sharp breath. "You're so fucking strong, baby. Just look at you—here. You fought for your fucking life. You fought for me—us."

"I'll always fight for us."

I don't tell him that he's stuck with me now, that this is forever, because I didn't just hand over my heart to be crushed again once more. No, he doesn't get to do that to me.

We're end game.