Chapter 33

The hospital is cold as we enter the kid's cancer ward. It's always cold in here, and it reminds me of when my sister used to be in a similar place. I wish things could be better for these children, that they had more than they do here. Some never leave their rooms since they are too sick to get out of bed, and others are alone and don't have anyone to leave the room with. The nurses are busy and can only do so much. It makes me sad to come here, but Bailey and I want to do something nice for them today.

We enter through the double doors that protect this floor from strangers and stop by the nurse's station. The nurse from a few months ago gives me a warm smile, and I smile back and nod. Bailey grabs my hand and pulls me into the station, and my feet falter when she squeezes me. All eyes are on us as we walk toward them, but the moment Bailey clears her throat, they all smile. I have no idea what's happening, but they seem to know something I don't.

"Hey," Bailey says to the ladies. "This is Theo. My boyfriend."

I choke, coughing for a moment, and straighten my spine. What did she just say? Did she really introduce me as her boyfriend?

"Hi," I rasp out, and they chuckle.

"This is Haley, Anne, Felicia, and Sarah." Bailey points at each individual person as she introduces us, and I give them all my biggest smile. Maybe they won't mind if I come visit, considering my girlfriend—apparently—works here.

"Nice to meet all of you," I reply, since it's easier than speaking to each of them.

They look at me with smiles on their faces, and Bailey then pulls me toward the recreation center. She must have called ahead because there are kids already sitting there in a circle of chairs. There's recliners everywhere, IV pumps, and chemotherapy infusions running. I smile at them as we make our way around the kids and to the front of the room, where there are two chairs and books stacked on either side of them.

Some of the kids recognize me from the last time I was here, and when their eyes light up, and they say my name, tears burn the back of my eyes. Fuck. I get so emotional every time I come here, and it only makes me miss Courtney more. But I push through the pain because, at the end of the day, these kids deserve to have someone here for them. To care for them and about them. And even though I couldn't do that for my sister very often when we were younger, I can do it now. She would want me to. I think she'd be proud of me.

Bailey and I spend hours with the kids; it's her day off, after all, and she looks happy. Happier than I've seen her—probably ever. It suits her. She reads a book about snails to the kids, and I read one about penguins. They laugh every single page at the voices I'm reenacting, and it makes me smile. I want them to feel joy. I want them to feel less lonely than they are. It's probably unrealistic considering their situation, but I'm gonna try like hell to make it happen.

Right before it's time for us to leave, she sings the kids a lullaby—and she's atrocious. However, no one complains or says anything mean, instead they look at her like she's just hung the moon. There's a three-year-old with neuroblastoma that just breaks my heart. She's wearing a face mask so she doesn't get sicker. But Bailey? She treats her like that little girl is the most special person on this earth. And it makes me emotional, because I know she'd be an amazing mother. I want those things with her. I want everything with her.

We say goodbye to the kids, and they're all sad to see us go. I'm sad, too, but I know if Bailey and I can work things out, I'll be coming here more often, especially during her shifts, since she'll be too tired on her days off. We walk out of the hospital hand in hand, and I open the car door for her. We're returning to my condo for the first time since she came back to me, and I'm nervous.

Will it be awkward? Will we be able to go back to how things used to be? Is she going to want to spend the night? And if she wants to, will I let her?

The drive back is filled with talk of the kids from the cancer ward. Everything feels normal between us, and it's scary. It's not that I don't want things to go back to the way they used to be, it's just that I'm scared she'll break my heart again. I think it's a valid fear, but I'm tired of it. I want to be able to trust her.

At the end of the day, she has done everything she said she would. She has spent more than a week proving to me that this is real…that I matter to her and that she loves me. And I never said it back. She introduced me as her boyfriend, for fuck's sake. It was everything I'd ever wanted.

I pull up to my parking space and sigh. She looks at me curiously, but I get out of the car before she can ask me what's wrong. I open her door and she grabs my hand, making my stomach flip. I'm still not used to her initiating public displays of affection. I don't think she would've done this a month ago, but here we are.

As soon as we arrive at the condo, I sit on the couch and bury my face in my hands. I feel her presence in front of me, and when she puts her hand on my shoulder, I relax slightly.

"We need to talk," I say softly, removing my hands from my face.

Bailey kneels in front of me, tears in her pretty green eyes. She shakes her head at me as one tear trails down her face. "Please, Theo. At least let me say what I need to say before you break my heart."

I brush my thumb over her cheek, capturing the wetness, and nod.

"I know I hurt you. But I have to tell you that I want you in my life, and I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen. I want you to be mine. I love you, Theo. And I'm going to love you without guarantees. I'm going to choose you right now, even if I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I'm going to choose you every single day. I'm ready to try life with you. Please, Theo."

My heart begins to pound in my chest, my blood whooshing in my ears, and I feel my eyes sting. She wants me, really wants me. And after all this time…that's all I've ever wanted. So, without hesitation, I grab her hand and put it on my chest, right over my heart.

"You feel this? It only beats for you, Bailey. Every second I spent away from you…it felt like I was dying a slow death. Like I was suffocating, and I couldn't breathe anymore until you came back. I don't just love you. You're the air in my lungs, baby. I need you to survive. So yes, Bailey. I forgive you."

Bailey gives me a shaky smile, and I pull her up to me, letting her onto my lap. She cups my face with both hands, leaning in and capturing my lips with hers. The kiss is slow, and I can feel the emotions pouring from her. She pulls away, kissing my jaw, then my neck. She lingers, sucking on my skin, marking me. It feels possessive, as if she wants everyone to know I'm hers, and I grin.

"Baby," I breathe as she gets on her knees between my legs. "What are you doing?"

"Taking care of you."

Bailey removes her shirt, throws it behind her, and then unbuttons my jeans. I help her out by lifting for her so she can take them off, and she giggles as she struggles to get them under my ass. I take a long look at her as she comes back to me and does the same with my boxer briefs. And once I'm bare in front of her from the waist down, I relax back on the couch. My dick is hard now, standing at attention, and I grin when she looks at it and licks her lips. She's wearing a red and lacy bra—completely see-through—and my mouth goes dry as I stare at her nipples through the fabric. As if she knows exactly what she's doing to me, she takes it off and reveals her breasts to me. They're full and perky, her nipples small and rosy, and I groan.

"So take care of me, Bailey." I smirk. "Show me how sorry you are."

Bailey's hand comes to my length, stroking slowly as she wraps her lips around the head of my dick, licking my precum. I moan when she takes me to the back of her throat and swallows, and when her throat constricts from her gag, I fist her hair.

Fuck, she's so pretty on her knees for me.

"Come here," I tell her, but she gets up instead. She finishes taking off her clothes, stripping off her pants and underwear, and standing in front of me completely bare. My breath hitches, and I let it out slowly. "You're so beautiful."

She walks back toward me, straddling me, and I grip her perfect ass in my hands as she grinds against my dick. She lets out a breathy little moan, and I feel her wetness against my cock. It's driving me crazy, and I don't want to wait anymore. I get up from the couch and carry her; all the while, she's kissing and biting on my neck until I take her to my bed and drop her on it.

I stare at her for a long moment as she spreads her legs, revealing her glistening pussy to me. I remember how tight she is, how she grips me like a damn fist every time I'm inside of her, and my balls tighten. My nostrils flare as I take her in, dark hair fanned over my bed like a damn halo, chest heaving as she fists the sheets, her full lips parted for me like she wants my dick in her mouth. I bet she'd let me again, but I want her pussy too bad to consider it.

"Come here, Theo," she whispers, her hand trailing down her abdomen all the way to her pussy. "Let me show you how much I love you, how bad I want you. Let me show you how I can't live without you."

My breathing picks up and my blood whooshes in my ears at those words, and I walk slowly toward her until my thighs meet the edge of the bed. Bailey is a work of art, and I want to be inside of her as long as possible, but if she keeps looking at me with those siren eyes, I'm not going to last very long. As I climb onto the bed and settle between her thighs, I forget about all my thoughts. All that matters is her. All I see is her. All I feel is her.

I thrust two fingers into her pussy and she cries out, rocking her hips toward me, taking them to the hilt. I curl them, hitting that sweet spot inside of her, as I circle her clit with my thumb. Her sweet moans fill my ears, and I grit my teeth as I pull my digits out and suck them into my mouth. She looks at me with uncontained lust and love, and all my feelings rush to the surface.

Fuck, I love her.

"Ready, baby?" I ask as I crawl up to her, putting my arms on either side of her head. She nods, gripping my shaft, and I groan. "Put me in."

Bailey does as she's told, holding me against her entrance, and I push in slowly. Inch by inch, I fill her up, and we both moan in unison when I bottom out. I thrust in and out slowly at first, then pick up the speed until my balls are slapping against her, the sound of skin on skin loud in the confines of my bedroom.

Her lips are parted, her eyes closed, as I grind against her clit and she whimpers. The sound makes a wave of heat rush down my spine, making my balls tighten and my dick thicken even more. I'm so close to coming it hurts, the heat of her pussy gripping me and making my eyes roll to the back of my head. But I breathe through the urge and continue to grind against her until she screams, her legs wrapping around my waist tightly as she comes.

"God, Theo," she moans. "I love you so much."

"Such a good girl," I whisper against her lips, sucking the bottom one into my mouth. "My girl."

I speed up, thrusting faster, focusing on the feeling of Bailey's wet pussy wrapped around me. The tingling feeling rushing down my spine doesn't take very long, and suddenly I'm filling her with my cum. I pull back and watch my dick going in and out of her, biting my lip as I pull out. I focus on the way my cum drips out of her, and my breathing speeds up all over again.

"You're so damn beautiful, Bailey," I rasp. "I love you."

Our eyes meet again, and she bites her lip. "I want forever, baby. Do you want that with me?"

"Always," I tell her, and I mean it.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" she asks me, and my heart skips a beat. It's one thing for her to introduce me that way, but the fact that she's asking me fills me with butterflies all over again.

I grin. "I'm so much more than that."

She grins and I get up from the bed, grabbing a wet rag to clean her. After wiping her gently, she looks at me with so much adoration my legs threaten to give up on me. But I just pick her up and take her to the bathroom, setting her down so I can run her a bath.

"Are you coming in with me?" she asks softly, and I nod because I would give her anything.

"If that's what you want."

She smiles and climbs in, and I settle in behind her. We just sit there and soak in the burning hot water, talking about the future now that we have one.

It's everything I thought it would be.