Chapter 15

I've been pacing my condo for the last thirty minutes, nervously picking at my nails whenever I think about Bailey being on her way over. I've fluffed the pillows again, wiped the kitchen countertops, lit a vanilla candle, and vacuumed. But the place still doesn't look good enough. Something is missing—and I don't know what.

I head to my linen closet and pull out a soft, red plaid throw blanket that I put on top of my couch and call it a day, with the hope she likes it, seeing as we will probably spend most of our time watching movies. I invited her over at the last minute, wanting to do something new instead of going out to eat again. After the other night, I thought she was going to reject me, but she surprisingly said yes. That's the only word I've been wanting to hear from her all this time.

There's a soft knock at the door—three raps—and my spine stiffens. With shaking hands, I go to open it. I don't know why she makes me so nervous, but I am. My hands are freaking sweating just thinking of sitting next to her for the next few hours without touching her. And my God, I want to touch her so bad. I want to wrap my arms around her, cuddle her, and rub her back.

I yank the door open a little more forcefully than intended, and Bailey's eyes widen. "Sorry." I chuckle awkwardly. "Don't know my strength sometimes." At least, I hope she believes that because it's way less embarrassing than admitting how much she affects me.

Bailey clears her throat, looking around at my condo. "It's very…masculine."

My heart drops. "What does that mean, B? You don't like it?" Damn it, I tried so hard too.

"There's just no…plants."

I chuckle at her jab, "Not everyone can have a green thumb, Bailey." I lead her inside by her arm, and she drops a bag on the couch. I raise an eyebrow. "Staying?"

"Nah." She shakes her head with a smile. "Going to Chey's after."

I shake my head in disappointment, "And here I thought I was your new bestie."

"Anyway." She grins, deflecting again. When will she stop doing that and just let me in? "Do you have any pets? Or is it just you in here?"

"Uh, no." I scratch my head, slightly embarrassed. "I've never had a pet before."

"What?" she asks, outrage in her voice. "Never?"

I give her a tight smile, "No." I've never had the time for a pet. I'm always gone. I've never even had time for a girl, but for her, I'd make time. "Do you have pets?"

"Well, I used to have a pet goldfish." She smirks, then shrugs. "I killed it in a week."

"And you're judging me?" I ask her incredulously. "How do you kill a goldfish when you have a million plants?"

She narrows her eyes. "I guess the only thing I have going for me is my green thumb."

I grin. "Nah." Getting all up in her space, I pull her in for a hug and she lets me. "You've got a lot more than that going for you."

"What?"

"Your shining personality," I reply, and she pushes me away forcefully, grabbing a pillow from the couch—fairly quickly, actually—and hitting me with it. "Ow."

"I'm kind of a jerk." Bailey shrugs and I laugh.

"You said it, not me."

There's a moment of silence as we look at each other. Bailey is a foot apart from me, and I look down at her body. She dressed comfortably today. Sweats that look baggy, a t-shirt from her hospital, and slippers on her feet. Her attire makes me smile, but then I look at her face and it drops. Bailey watches me intently, green eyes widening when I meet her gaze, but her lips tip up in the slightest smile. Even though it's barely there—it goes straight to my heart. What am I going to do with myself for the next few hours? I see her, and I just want to pull her in, kiss her senseless, and not let her go. Is that actually insane?

Bailey breaks the silence first, "How about a tour, then?"

"You wanna see the whole place?"

"Is it big?" She asks quietly, a little closed off. "Do you have like five bedrooms?"

"It's nothing crazy, Bailey," I tell her, ready to snuggle her on the couch and cut the bullshit already. She's stalling. Or maybe she really is interested in getting to know my space. I don't even know anymore. "Two bedrooms, two bathrooms."

"That's it?" she asks, her jaw dropping.

I put my fingers under her chin and close her mouth back up. "I'm only one person. I don't splurge."

"So what do you do with all that money, then?"

"Save up." I smile. "Help my parents. Like I said, I didn't come from money, and they sacrificed a lot for me. I wanted to return the favor."

Bailey's eyes widen. "That's actually very kind of you."

I guess I don't do well with too much praise, which is…surprising. I swallow hard, "Yeah. I guess." She smiles at me, and I return it. "Okay, so as you already know, this is the living room." I point at the three-piece sectional couch with the wooden coffee table in front of it. She stares at it for a long time, then directs her eyes toward the flat-screen TV mounted on the wall.

"This is where we'll be tonight?" she asks me with awe in her voice.

"Yeah," I reply, grabbing her by the t-shirt and pulling her toward the kitchen. "Now, obviously, you know what this place is." Although I still open the fridge and show it to her, "You can take whatever you want from here. Any time you want, no need to ask." Bailey peers down at the ground, refusing to meet my eyes. "My stove, my island." The one I want to fuck her on. "And yeah, the dishwasher. Any questions?"

There's a hint of a smile. "Do you leave your clean stuff in the dishwasher?"

"Sometimes."

"Sounds convenient." She nods, opening it. "I don't have one of these."

"What?" I all but shout. "That's a literal crime. You wash your dishes by hand?"

"Mhmm." She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Fuckin' rich people."

I grab her hand. "That just means that you can come here more often and use my dishwasher."

Bailey laughs. "You freaking wish."

I do, though I'm not saying it and scaring her away. "So this way," I grab her t-shirt again. "Is the guest bathroom, and there's the guest room down that hall."

She walks down the hall, opens the guest room door, and whistles, "Pretty." Then she looks at me expectantly, "Where's your room?"

"Oh, you want me to show you my room?" I raise an eyebrow.

"For research, of course." She's quick to reply. "A bedroom says a lot about a person."

"This way." I point to the opposite end of the hall, and she walks ahead of me. "You can just open the door and make yourself comfy."

"Wow," she breathes. "It's beautiful, Theo."

"So, what do you think?" I ask her. "What does my room say about me?"

"You're a neat freak."

I laugh. "That's it?"

"Yeah." Bailey bites her bottom lip, pulling it slightly into her mouth. It sends tingles all the way to my dick. "The other things are inappropriate."

"Oh?" I just bet they are. "What are those things?"

Bailey chuckles, "Not a chance, big boy."

"Right," I reply. "Well, since there's no chance you're telling me, let's go watch TV. What movie do you want to watch?" I walk ahead of her. "Wait, what's your favorite movie?"

"I don't have one," she replies without hesitation.

"Excuse me?" I stop in my tracks, twisting toward her. She runs into my chest and stumbles backward. With an apologetic smile, I help right her. "What do you mean you don't have a favorite movie?" She has to, right? "Everyone has one."

"I mean, I guess if you pull my arm, I'd say How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days."

Okay. I've never seen that. "Wanna watch it?"

Bailey smirks, "What's yours?"

"Jurassic Park," I blurt.

"Oh, lord, you're that guy."

"What guy?" I ask her defensively.

"The one who knows every dinosaur species known to mankind," she jabs, pushing my shoulder with her dainty hand and walking past me.

"So?" I call out. "I bet you know the same shit about every plant under the sun."

Bailey stops and chuckles, then drops onto the couch, grabbing the throw blanket immediately and draping it over her legs. Score. "You're not funny, Theo."

"I wasn't trying to be," I mumble.

She puts her hand out to me, and I give her the remote. "So, this is how it's going to go, big boy." I raise an eyebrow at her as I watch her face. Her green eyes are shining. Her smile is wide, and her dimples are popping. Her hair is in a messy bun at the top of her head, and she's never looked more beautiful. I'm mesmerized. "You're going to sit here and rub my feet," I open my mouth, but she puts a little finger up in the air. So bossy. "And watch The Summer I Turned Pretty with me."

"The what now?"

"It's a show, Theodore."

"Yeah," I huff, "I gathered it was something on TV. But what the hell is it?"

"Okay." She grins as I sit next to her, and she turns her body to me and drapes her feet over my lap. Sighing, she leans back. "It's about a girl who falls in love with not one—but two boys."

"Stop," I groan, shaking my head. "Is there cheating involved?"

"I don't want to spoil anything." She rolls her eyes as I take off her socks and look at her pretty, bubblegum pink, painted toenails. She's that kind of girl—the one who doesn't look that girly yet is beneath it all. "It's so good."

"Just why, Bailey?"

"I love a good love triangle, Theo." She grins. "So sue me. You're watching with me."

"I don't know." I shake my head, "You better not be getting any crazy ideas. I don't do well with sharing."

"Your parents didn't teach you how?" she jokes. At least, I think it's a joke.

"Nope."

Bailey plays the first episode, and I swear my balls shrivel on the spot. This girl—Belly, apparently. Who the fuck nicknames a girl Belly?—gets to a beach house, and the blond guy comes and hugs her, lifting her up off the ground. Then, a brooding, dark-haired one comes to say hi too. I see where this is going—and I don't like it, at all.

Still, I rub Bailey's feet, making her groan, which then causes my dick to twitch. She must feel it because she glances at me and raises her little foot, kicking me right on the arm. I laugh about it, but then again, is that even surprising? She makes me laugh a lot.

I breathe in slowly, willing the erection away, and keep watching. After about three episodes, she pauses the show. "So, what do you think?"

I'm about to ask her what the hell she was thinking by making me watch this, but instead all that comes out is, "Why the fuck is Belly being a hoe? You think Conrad is a fuck boy? Just look at Belly—she's a fuck girl. And what about Jeremiah, huh? He's hooking up with literally everyone. I'm not convinced."

"That's kind of the point," she says, her eyes shining. You have to pick a team."

"I cannot do that." I shake my head. No. Fucking. Way.

"Please, Theo." She pouts, "Please."

"Bailey," I tell her softly, shifting my body toward her and pinching her chin between my fingers. "There's no fucking way I can pick between two assholes."

"Well, I disagree," Bailey huffs. "I think Jeremiah is the better option."

I scoff. "Does he even like her? He literally kisses everyone, B."

"They are end game," she says pointedly, narrowing her eyes at me. "Team Jellyfish forever."

Oh. My. God.

"Please be joking," I whisper.

"There's nothing funny about this, Theo." Bailey rolls her eyes. "But you'll come around, don't you worry."

"I highly doubt that," I mumble.

Just like that, we go back to watching the show. I rub her feet, kneading the bottom as she sighs softly. I know I should be paying attention, except instead, I'm hypnotized by her—the way her green eyes widen when Jeremiah appears on screen. The little smiles that tip up her full lips when something cute happens, and even the way she seems to be twisting her fingers with anxiety from my proximity.

After another hour, Bailey pauses the show again, and I realize we've binged almost the entire series.

What the hell.

"What about now?" she asks softly, and I shift my head to rest my cheek on the couch to look at her. "What do you think?"

"Honestly, I'm having some seriously intense feelings right now, Bailey," I start. "Like, why is Jeremiah looking at Belly like that? That's Connie's brother. Bro code. You don't do that."

Bailey smirks, "What else?"

"This show is pissing me off."

She laughs, "It has that effect on some people."

"Ugh." I groan, grabbing the nearest throw pillow and hitting her head with it. "Why'd you do this to me? I can't watch the second season by myself, but now I need to know what happens. So you're coming back, right?"

"Ummm." Bailey bites her bottom lip again. "Can I actually stay?" She pauses to gauge my reaction, and when I don't reply, she rattles on. "I don't have to—I mean, it's just raining outside, that's all, and I don't like driving in the rain when it's dark and?—"

"Bailey," I say softly, interrupting her. "You can stay whenever you want."

"I'll sleep on the couch."

"There's another bed..."

"Oh," she mumbles. "True."

"Are we done for tonight?" I ask her, "Are you tired?"

I look at my phone, and it's three in the morning. "Not really, but you can lie down."

"I don't want to go to sleep without you. I mean, if you're not going to bed." I amend. "But I just need to shower real quick, and I'll be back?"

"Alright," She replies. "But don't take too long."

"Come with me," I tell her as I get up from the couch and walk to my bedroom.

"Theo—I don't think that's a good idea."

"Relax, B." I chuckle. "I'm just gonna give you something."

I go to my closet, pull out one of my soft, oversized shirts, and give it to her. She looks between the shirt and my hand. "I'm already wearing pajamas."

"Eh," I take a good look at her, hating all the layers of clothing on her. She'd look so good in just my T-shirt. My dick wakes up again—and it really needs to stop. "Just in case, though."

"Thank you." She whispers.

My shower is relatively short, especially because I don't want to miss any more time with her. But as I open the door and the light from inside the bathroom shines in front of my bed, I realize there's a small body curled up on the floor—Bailey.

What is she doing?

Bailey's shoulders shake slightly, and she sniffles, draping an arm over her face so it's not visible—so I can't see her tears. "Bailey," I call out softly, kneeling next to her. I scoop her up in my arms and carry her to the bed. "What's wrong?"

She sniffles, "Sorry, it's stupid."

"Try again." My heart squeezes in my chest at her words, "Nothing you do is stupid."

"I—uh." She pauses and restarts. "Sleep on the floor when it's storming out…"

Trying to understand, I ask, "Why?"

"Because I'm scared," she whispers.

"Do you want to go back to the floor, Bailey?"

"Please."

One word makes me feel like my heart is cracking down the middle, but I still grab all the six pillows on my bed and arrange them on the floor for her. Scooping her up, I put her back where I found her and drape my blankets over her. Just as I turn off the bathroom light, she whispers again.

"Theo?"

I kneel next to her, caressing her cheek with my thumb and pushing her hair away from her face. "I'm right here."

"Please hold me."

My heart beats a little faster as I lie down next to her, pulling her body into me until she's resting her cheek on my chest, and nothing has ever felt more perfect. The way she smells—like roses—permeates my senses, making me dizzy. Everything about her is too much and just enough. "Whatever you want, B. Just ask, and I'll do it."

There's a moment of silence, and then her tears soak my chest. I'm not wearing a shirt, so it's smearing under her cheek as she pulls away to wipe her face. "I'm sorry."

"Don't you dare apologize," I reply, being as gentle as possible. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Robert…" she replies softly, barely audible.

I tense, and reply through gritted teeth. "Yes…" I trail off so she feels comfortable enough to fill in the silence—hopefully.

"He used to always drink when it was raining." She scoffs. "Something about how it brought bad memories."

I stay silent.

"He'd always fight with me when he was drunk…and he'd always end up hitting me." My arms wrap tightly around her small form, and I'm so stiff I feel like a fucking board. But I don't know what to do or say—so I stay silent. Because I want her to feel safe enough to tell me whatever she needs to get off her chest. I have a feeling that if I speak, she'll shut her mouth instead.

"He would force me to sleep on the floor when we had fights—after he beat the shit out of me." Bailey chuckles. "I guess it stuck. I know…I'm stupid. One night, he got home from work and started drinking. He asked why I was talking to my male coworker at work. Said I wasn't allowed to anymore. I didn't stay quiet; I fought back that time, and he hit me even harder. Then he r-r-raped me. He'd do that a lot. I guess it made him feel like he could control me that way. That I'd do whatever he wanted, so he wouldn't keep doing it."

There's a tense moment of silence before she wiggles in my hold, and I try to relax my arms slightly so she doesn't feel like I'm smothering her. "Fuck, Bailey," I whisper. "You're safe now. With me, you'll always be safe."

"If you're my safe place, who's going to be yours?" she whispers back.

I grimace, tipping my head up at the ceiling and closing my eyes. I try not to let her question get to me, but it doesn't work. My eyes are stinging, a lone tear trying to work itself out from behind my eyes. "She's not here anymore."

Bailey stiffens, "Oh?"

"That came out wrong." I chuckle. "My sister—she's dead." I think of the young brunette with blue eyes, the ones whose pictures I keep in my nightstand drawer. I look at them every time I feel myself forgetting her. The way her eyes squinted when she smiled, or how she always closed her eyes for every picture, hiding the pretty blue.

"She had Leukemia. She was my best friend, my everything. The day she died, it was the worst day of my life. She was stuck in the hospital a lot." My voice breaks, and I clear my throat. "That's why I went to read to the kids in the cancer ward. So they wouldn't feel as lonely as she did. Back when she was alive, I was too focused on school and hockey, and I didn't have much time to give her, so she was alone a lot."

"Oh, God, Theo." Fresh tears soak my skin, and she brings her hand to my face and pulls me in. "I'm sorry."

My chest tightens to the point where I can't even breathe. "Thank you," I tell her, then kiss the tip of her nose. "It's slowly getting easier."

"I can be your safe space, too," Bailey murmurs. "If you want me to be."

I wish you could be so much more than that.

"It's a start," I tell her softly, holding her tighter again.

"The start of what?" She asks me, her breath hitching.

"Us," I whisper. "Whatever you want us to be."

Bailey caresses my cheek with her soft fingertips, dragging them down my jaw and up again, making me close my eyes in distress. Her proximity has my body coiled, ready to strike. There's not one part of me that's calm. No, there's a little devil on my shoulder telling me to throw caution to the wind and take what I want, even when I know I shouldn't. And damn it, damn it, it's getting harder by the second.

"Bailey," I groan, halting her hand with my own. "Fuck."

"What?"

"You're driving me crazy," I say softly. "I want you so bad I can't even think straight. You're on my mind all day. And when you're not, it's because you're right next to me. All I see is you, B. Everywhere. You, and only you."

She gets even closer, her nose against mine, and when she angles her head and hovers over my lips…I know I've lost. "Theo," She breathes, and my cock thickens.

"I'm right here, baby."

"No." She shakes her head, brushing our noses against each other, our lips touching for a split second. "I just—I can never have what I want."

"You can have me, Bailey," I assure her, this time cupping her face and bringing her closer until our breaths mingle. The scent of vanilla fills my nostrils from the soda she was just drinking, and I close my eyes. "Take me."

"Tell me to stop, Theo."

"No." I shake my head, licking my lips, my tongue brushing against her bottom lip. "I won't do that."

Bailey groans, then presses her lips against mine. They're so fucking soft, and I think I've died, because there's no way I'm kissing her. There's no way she's letting me. Finally. But if this is the only chance I get, then I'm going to make it memorable. I'm going to give her fireworks.

I flip her onto her back and spread her legs, settling between them and yanking her head back with my fist wrapped around her hair. She moans when I brush my lips against hers again, and I take her bottom lip between mine and suck. Bailey returns the kiss greedily, shoving her tongue into my mouth roughly, shifting her hips ever so slightly until my hard dick presses against her center.

Electricity zaps down my spine the longer we kiss, and when she takes my bottom lip between her teeth and bites, I almost growl at her. There's so much pent-up energy inside of me, and I want to take it all out on her. I want to make her feel good—the best she's ever felt in her life. But goddamn it, she's not ready.

"You're so beautiful," I whisper, kissing her softly. "So strong." Another kiss. "Resilient." And another. "Amazing."

"Theo," she chokes, sniffling again.

"Do you see me, Bailey?" I ask her, my hand shaking uncontrollably as I brush my thumb over her bottom lip. "I'm right here."

"I see you."

And with those three words, she's put my whole world back together.