Prologue

March Nineteenth

MacQuillian

Seven years old

I’m woken in the middle of the night to my brother, Kieran, groaning in the bed across from mine. He said he didn’t feel good when we went to bed last night. I just thought he was laying the groundwork to not go to school the next day. Apparently he was telling the truth. I’m just about to roll over and go back to sleep when I hear him call my name.

“Mac.” He sounds terrible, and my only thought is that I don’t want to catch it. But he is my best friend so I can’t just leave him lying there miserable.

“Yeah?” I yawn and force myself to sit up in bed as I answer him.

“Can you go get Ma? Please?” Kieran clutches his stomach as he whimpers.

Jumping out of my bed I walk out of our room and go in search of her.

Kieran’s two years older than me. He’s nine and we only share a room because he’s the best brother. I’m weary of the dark. I’m not scared! I’m not some baby. I just don’t prefer it, especially in a big quiet room. So Kieran shares a room with me. We have two older brothers but they’re way older. Declan is twelve and Rowan is fifteen. Maybe I’ll find one of them first seeings as I’m coming up empty on all my Ma’s favorite places to be.

I hear a quiet cry from a room down the hall where my parents room is and know exactly where she is. Quietly making my way to our two youngest brother’s door I push it open slightly to see my Ma in a rocking chair holding one of the twins. They’re four but have bad dreams some times and my Ma and Da have to rock them back to sleep. Our Da is out of town for work right now, so it’s just Ma and us boys.

Watching her through the small opening, I note how tired her eyes are. Ma is so pretty, she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Her hair is a really dark red and just like the rest of us her eyes are green. She gives all the love in her heart to my Da and us. My Da says she has so much love to give us because God made her heart extra special when he made her. Da isn’t here to take care of her right now, and I’m too young to help with my brothers like she needs. So I leave her with the twins and go in search of my older brothers. It doesn’t take long to find them. It’s late at night and we have school tomorrow so they’re both in their rooms.

I wake up Declan first and explain to him what’s going on with Kieran. He tells me to grab Rowan then come back to bed. Knocking on my older brother’s door I wait a full minute before pushing it open. Rowan’s been yelling about privacy and not wanting us in his space for like a year, but I think this is an exception. I quickly find out why when I walk in his room and the next second I see my big brother sit straight up in bed with a gun pointed straight at my head.

“Fuck, Mac.” He rubs his eyes with the heel of his palms and puts his gun back under his pillow. “I almost shot you. What are you doing in here?”

Me eyes well with tears on instinct which has him kneeling in front of me in the next second and hugging me. “Ma— Ma looks so tired. She’s in the twins room, and I thought maybe she needs help.” I sniffle as I answer him.

Rowan curses under his breath, “Okay, okay. I’m up.” He rolls his shoulders and tries to shake off the sleep. “You did good, baby brother. I’ll go help Ma. You go back to sleep, okay? Why are you even up? It’s past midnight.”

“Kieran’s sick. I got Declan to come help us. You get Ma to go to sleep, I’ll help Declan with Kieran.”

He ruffles my hair as he stands. “Good plan. I’ll come help after I get the boys settled.”

Rowan guides me out of his room then heads for Ma while I turn and head back to my room.

I’m not stupid, I know my house is full of guns. I also know why my brother sleeps with one. You aren’t raised in my house or live in this entire state without knowing that my Da is the leader of the BOCG. I don’t know anything about it. Just that we have guards and security, and Roe works with Da sometimes. My stomach starts to hurt as I make my way back to my room, and as soon as I walk in I have to run to the bathroom. Crap, whatever Kieran has, he shared with me.

It’s after three in the morning when we all finally fall asleep. Declan and Rowan sleeping on blankets on the floor in between our beds. I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep yet. Declan notices, because he sits up and leans his back against the side of my bed frame and mattress.

Knowing they’re here, keeping us safe from any bad guys, and taking care of us -while Ma gets much deserved rest- makes me feel better. I’m almost out when I hear Declan.

“Go to sleep, baby brother. I’ll be right here.”

***

My best friend Riley called this morning to ask if I was meeting her to walk to school together. She calls every morning, and every morning my answer is the same. ‘Of course, I’ll be there at eight sharp.’ Today I had to tell her I was sick and couldn’t come. She sounded disappointed, but said she hopes I feel better and she’ll call me after school.

Riley has been my best friend since before the first day of Kindergarten. She’s also who I’m going to marry when I’m old enough. My Da says you marry your best friend and my only other best friend is my brother. Gross. Riley’s also so pretty, and I mean so so pretty. My heart beats really fast when she’s around, and I want to beat up anyone who isn’t nice to her or when a boy is too nice to her. I think we’re going to be like my parents. Riley has a special heart just like my Ma, I can just tell.

We’ve all been sleeping on and off all day. Dec and Roe aren’t sick, but they’ve still been napping with us. Ma has come in to check on the four of us, but Rowan keeps insisting they have it covered and don’t want Ma or the twins sick. We’re all napping when we’re startled awake by a shout and the slam of something. We jump out of bed, but Kie and I are told to stay back while the other two go explore, just in case.

One really important thing to know about Kieran and I is that we don’t listen most of the time. We aren’t naughty kids, we’re just… curious. It’s that curiosity that leads us to the top of the second story stairs to listen to my Da having what can only be described as a full meltdown. He’s screaming for all of us boys, and my Ma is trying to calm him down.

“No, Maeve, where are they?? Where are the boys?”

“Adien, you need to calm down before you scare them.”

Declan and Rowan hit the last step when he’s automatically questioning them. “Where’s Mac? Kieran? Did they come home? Did they come HOME, boys!?” He’s yelling but he doesn’t sound mad. He sounds scared.

“Da, they’re up stairs sleeping. They’ve been home sick all day and we’ve been taking care of them. What’s wrong?” Rowan asks in a tone that I’ve never heard him use before. Like he’s taking control of the situation. That’s when my Da says the words that shatter every fragment of my life as I know it.

“Riley’s gone.”