Chapter 7

CHAPTER

SEVEN

Courtney

I tossed and turned all last night. Partly because I was nervous about today, and partly because yesterday was the perfect day. Aside from Tammy, it was the perfect day. After lunch and our talk, we spent the afternoon with his nieces and nephew, then stayed for dinner, which Stella and Maverick both thanked us for several times. After that, we went for ice cream before Merrick dropped me off at my place with the promise of being here today around three to pick me up for Sunday dinner at what they refer to as Kincaid Central. It's being held there this week instead of at his parents' place. Apparently, Carol still likes to host at her home and I can't say I blame her. Having your family under one roof where you raised them is special.

They don't eat until five, but he wants us to be there early. He suggested that might help my anxiety instead of walking into the building full of his family. Instead, we would be there first and greet them in small groups as they arrived.

I readily agreed. That sounds like a much better plan than us walking inside—all eyes on us. I shudder at the thought. I do not like to be the center of attention. I'm grateful Merrick seems to know that much about me and offered an alternate plan to help set my mind at ease.

Merrick assured me I don't need to dress up. That Sunday dinners are casual —just family getting together to catch up and share a meal. I stare at myself in the mirror. I have on black skinny jeans, a flowing blouse, and a pair of Hey Dudes. My hair is hanging loose down my back, but I have a hair tie on my wrist just in case. When you have long, thick hair like me, you never leave home without one.

Making sure I have my purse and my phone, I pace back and forth in the living room, waiting for Merrick to arrive. I offered to make something, but he told me not to. I eye the container of Rice Krispies treats on the counter. I made them first thing this morning, and I keep wavering about whether I should bring them with us or not.

I'm not really his girlfriend, but his family is opening their space to me. Jordyn is my boss. Not coming empty-handed is the right thing to do. Merrick says there will be plenty, but—screw it. I'm taking them. Grabbing the container, I walk toward the front door just as Merrick's truck pulls up.

Stepping outside, I close the door, making sure it's locked, and start my way toward the truck to a scowling Merrick Kincaid.

"What?" I ask. I look down at my outfit. Is this too casual?

"I was coming to the door to get you."

His words make me smile. "That's not necessary."

"I'm not the kind of man who pulls in and waits for his girl to come to him," he tells me, rushing to the passenger side and pulling open the door.

I ignore the way my heart spasms in my chest at him calling me his girl. "I can open and close doors on my own, Merrick. Besides, there's no one around to see the charade."

He leans in close; his cologne—something that smells smoky and sexy as hell on him—invades my senses. "I told you, baby. When you're mine, acting or not, I treat you like I would if this was real. That includes me opening and closing doors for you."

"That's... pretty swoony." My face heats from my blurted confession. Had I thought about my words before I said them, that's not what I would have chosen to say.

He winks. "Buckle up, Court." He moves out of the truck, no longer in my personal space, and waits for me to do as he says, before closing the door.

I know I should be deeply offended that he's being all demanding, but it's hot as hell. And dare I say nice to have someone outside my family who cares. Is this what it's like to date a nice guy? I wouldn't know. My dating history is very limited. Bookworms are usually the last to get attention, and well, I've never really put much effort into seeking out someone.

Merrick Kincaid is a definite boost to my confidence.

"What's in the container?" he asks once he's taken his spot behind the wheel.

"Oh, I made Rice Krispies treats."

He grins. "You didn't have to, but thank you."

"You're welcome."

He reaches for the container, but I twist out of his reach as much as I can in the confines of the cab of his truck. "What are you doing?"

"I want one."

"Nope. You have to wait until we get there."

He points to his chest. "Boyfriend here. I get special privileges."

My heart squeezes in my chest. I should have known it would be difficult for me to keep feelings out of this. It doesn't help that Merrick is adorable and sexy, and it makes me feel too comfortable when we're together. Pushing the feeling in my chest out of my mind, I smile at him, hoping it looks as carefree as his own smile. "Pretend, Kincaid."

"Doesn't matter, that's what I am. If my girl makes treats, I should get one."

It's his smile that gets me, and the fact that he keeps referring to me as his. I sigh heavily, as if this is the hugest inconvenience of my life, and open the lid, offering him a Rice Krispies treat.

"Thank you, baby," he says sweetly. He plucks one out of the container and takes a huge bite. "So good," he mumbles over the gooey treat.

"You're going to spoil your dinner," I tease.

He smiles and winks. "I'm a big boy, Court. I can handle it."

I can feel the heat of that combination between my thighs, but I ignore it, placing the lid back on the container. "It's not much, but I couldn't come empty-handed."

Something crosses his face, a look I can't explain. "You're just like my sisters-in-law. They did the same when they first started coming around."

"It's the polite thing to do." I pretend like he didn't just compare me to the women his brothers have chosen to spend forever with. "Besides, I'm sure everyone contributes to the meals."

"We do, but my mom does a lot of it. She enjoys it. Lives for it, really. She raised nine rowdy boys, and feeding us is her love language."

"I can't imagine the trouble you all got into growing up."

"What?" He licks his fingers. The act is not supposed to be sexy at all, but Merrick makes it so. "You wound me, Court. I was a perfect angel."

"Uh-huh." I laugh.

He reaches over and taps my nose with his index finger. "Stick with me, kid. I'll show you my ways."

"You're trouble, Merrick Kincaid." I grin.

He shrugs, a smile playing on his lips. "For the next three months, I'm your trouble." He starts the truck and backs out as if he didn't just cause a ripple of desire to roll through me.

I shouldn't be reacting this way to him. I know that. However, my experience with men is limited, with dating in general, and Merrick, he has this way of making me feel calm and comfortable in my own skin. With every interaction, I feel myself loosening up. Not just me and my reserved personality, but my heart, and the walls that the looked-over bookworm has constructed around it.

When this ends, I know it's going to be painful, but it's worth it. This time with him, to experience this feeling of acceptance and belonging from this man, he's worth it.

Sweat coats my palms as we pull into the driveway of the building they refer to as Kincaid Central, which is also in the same lot as the boutique where I work. Merrick tells me he'll get my door, and this time I don't bother to argue with him. I'm nervous. I know we're pretending. His family knows we're pretending. I'm embarrassed that we're pretending. It's also a lot of people who know the truth.

That's risky.

Merrick trusts his family, and I have no reason not to. Besides, they're all helping me with this by keeping our secret. I just—I'm afraid of what they'll think of me. Of my mom. She's a great woman, truly. She's just a lot sometimes, and I know she wants what's best for me, and this is all my fault. I never should have lied about Merrick and me being together. I thought I'd considered all angles of this little ruse I've backed us into, but today, it's another level of deceit we're involving his family in.

I feel terrible, and I can't shake the feeling this entire plan is about to blow up in my face.

Merrick takes the container of Rice Krispies treats from my hands and offers me his other hand, helping me out of his truck. I take it, cursing the wetness of my palm. Once I'm standing on solid ground, I suck in a lungful of air.

"Courtney."

I look down at my feet, not wanting him to see my face. I try to pull my hand away, but Merrick doesn't let go. Hidden behind the door of his truck that's still open, he places the container of treats on the seat, wraps one arm around my waist, and the other he gently lifts my chin so I'm looking at him instead of the driveway.

"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" His brow furrows, as if he can't understand why I'm acting so strange.

I rush to voice some of the thoughts dancing around in my head. "They're lying for us. I feel awful, and my hands are all sweaty, and they're going to hate me."

"They're my family, Courtney. They're not going to out us if that's what you're worried about."

"I hate that I put you and your family in this position."

"Babe, I offered. It's you and me in this together."

"Merrick, you're not getting anything out of this, and your family—" I start, but he places his index finger over my lips.

"Is going to love you and treat you as such. They're not going to judge either of us for the choice we've made. Just trust me. Can you do that?"

I hesitate as he keeps going.

"I'll be with you all day. If at any time you want to leave, we will. Just say the word, or I don't know, squeeze my arm really hard or something."

I chuckle at his sweetness.

"There she is." He smiles down at me. "Trust me, Courtney. It's all going to be fine. Dinner with my family is crazy and chaotic, and it's a good time. You're in for a treat." He offers me a boyish grin, and I feel some of the tension fade away.

"We can leave if it's too much?" I hate asking him to leave his family dinner, but I can admit that I feel better knowing I have an out if I need it.

"Absolutely." His eyes show he's not just telling me what I want to hear.

"Okay."

"Okay." He grabs the container and my hand and pulls me away from the door before pushing it shut with the arm that's holding the Rice Krispies treats. "Let's do this."

With my hand locked in his, we make our way inside the building. As soon as we walk in, my eyes bounce around. I've heard about this part of the building, but I've never been here. It's a huge open-floor plan with the longest table I've ever seen. There's a big-screen TV, a pool table, and a kids' corner that any kid would be in awe of. A couple of sectional couches and recliners as well as padded rocking chairs are set up around the space. Then the kitchen. It's massive, and whatever Mrs. Kincaid is cooking smells incredible.

"Hey, Mom." Merrick guides me toward the kitchen island where his mother is chopping vegetables.

"My baby." She smiles before her eyes find mine. "Hello, Courtney. Welcome to the chaos." She laughs.

"Hello. Thank you for having me, and this isn't chaos. This place is incredible."

"Thank you. We have our Ramsey and Jordyn to thank for this space, but we've all added a few things since it's been finished."

"Merrick, show Courtney where the drinks are. We're a ‘help yourself' kind of family." She smiles kindly.

"I'm okay for now. Can I help with anything?"

She shakes her head. "You're a guest."

"I'm a very nervous guest. I'd love to help to keep myself busy."

She stops chopping and studies me for several seconds. "How are you with chopping vegetables for the salad?" she asks.

"I'm not a professional, but I'll manage."

"Well then, I'll start making up the hamburger patties. We're keeping it simple today. Burgers, hot dogs, and meats on the grill. Salad, baked beans, and mac and cheese for my grandbabies."

"Sounds perfect." I walk to the sink and wash my hands before taking the knife and chopping the rest of the cucumbers for the salad.

"Court made Rice Krispies treats," Merrick says as he opens the container and snags another one.

"Hey!" I scold. "You've already had one. You're going to ruin your dinner and you need to save some for the others." I playfully glare at him. When he winks, I lose my stern face and giggle.

Giggle.

I'm not a giggler, I guess unless I'm with Merrick Kincaid.

He chuckles as he pulls out one of the stools at the island and shoves a huge bite into his mouth. "Where's Dad?" he asks once he's swallowed. Did he even chew?

"Oh, he's on his way. I needed more salad dressing, so he ran to the store."

"I could have stopped on my way here."

"It's fine. He doesn't mind. I had everything here handled, and now that I have my sous-chef, even more so." She bumps her hip into mine, which breaks me out of the trance I was in.

Was I really just standing here holding a knife, staring at her son? I drop my chin to my chest and go back to dicing the cucumbers for the salad.

Talk about mortifying.

Carol and I work side by side while Merrick and his dad, once he got back from the store, watch us—or supervise, as they like to call it. Once everything is prepped, we all grab a glass of lemonade and slowly, one by one, his brothers and their families arrive.

They're all very welcoming, and the kids, my goodness, cuteness overload. I've seen pictures, and a few of them have come into the boutique while I was working, but having them all in one place, it's a little overwhelming for a girl with one sibling.

There's lots of laughter and good food. Not once have any of them made me feel unwelcome. I'm holding Ryan as he sleeps peacefully in my arms when I feel strong hands grip my hips.

"He's out like a light," Merrick says softly. His hot breath brushes against my cheek.

"He is. He was fussy, so I offered to walk him while Stella finished eating her dessert."

"He likes you."

"I like him," I say, staring down at the sleeping baby.

"You okay?"

I glance at him over my shoulder. "I'm great. Your family is incredible, Merrick."

"Told you," he says, kissing my cheek.

"Thank you for everything."

He squeezes my hips softly. "I'm not so bad, huh?" he teases.

"Meh," I say, making him laugh, which startles Ryan in my arms. "Shhh," I soothe as I sway. I feel Merrick sway with me, and I can't help but close my eyes. I know it's wrong. It's so very wrong, but I imagine this moment is real. This is our son, and he's my husband who's holding on to me as if I'm precious to him as we sway together, soothing our child.

It's an incredibly slippery slope I just let my mind travel down, and I know I can't allow for moments like this again. I can't let my mind take this pretend relationship and run with it. I can't dream of a future with a man who's not really mine.

"Uncle Merrick!"

We turn to see his niece Blakely rushing toward us.

"There's my girl." Merrick steps away from me and opens his arms to catch her. He lifts her onto his hip as if she were a toddler. "What's up?" he asks, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"I just needed an Uncle Merrick hug."

"I love your overalls," I tell her. They're pink denim, and she looks adorable.

"Thanks. These are my wiener pants."

A laugh bursts from my lips, and I quickly bite down and sway to soothe Ryan as my laughter startled him. Poor baby, I just got him to sleep, and between Merrick and me, he's never going to rest.

"Blake." Merrick tries to scold, but you can hear the laughter in his tone.

"What? They are. I wanted to wear them 'cause Daddy has to go to the shop later to check on something, and I'm going with him." She looks over at me. "I have to wear my wiener pants when I go to the shop 'cause I get dirty like my daddy."

I nod as I reach over and squeeze Merrick's arm, because I can see he's about ready to burst with laughter. "That makes sense," I tell her.

She eyes where my hand is, and I immediately drop it. "Do you like the arm porn too?" She tilts her head to the side. "My mommy and my aunts do. Since you're Uncle Mer's girlfriend, you better like the arm porn. All the girls in this family do."

I'm biting down on my cheek, trying my hardest not to laugh. "All right, let's go." Declan swoops in and takes his daughter into his arms. "Can't take you anywhere," he says, tickling her and making her squirm.

"So, that was Blakely."

"She's—something else." I laugh.

"Yeah." He rubs the back of his neck. "She was the only grandchild for several years, and her mom wasn't in the picture, so she had a lot of male influence in her life."

"She's great."

"The things kids say," Merrick says. "Come on, let's get you off your feet. I'd tell you to let me take a turn, but I have a feeling that's not going to happen." He places his hand on the small of my back and leans in close. "Baby hog."

My body reacts to being near him, just as it always does, but I pretend otherwise and let him lead me to the couch. We spend a few more hours talking to his family. Kennedy, Declan's wife, fills me in on the wiener pants and arm porn, while the others promise me there are more hilarious stories they can tell me about their niece. Jordyn assures me that when we have downtime at the boutique, we'll have Blakely story time, and I plan to hold her to that.

It's been a great day with incredible people, and when it's time to leave, I don't want to go. That's not like me, not in these kinds of social situations. The Kincaid family, Merrick especially, has gone out of their way to make me feel welcome. It's a day I'll never forget.