Chapter 10

TEN

Stella

“Mommy’s nervous,” I tell Ada. She’s sitting on my bedroom floor, playing with her blocks. “It’s been too long.” The last time I went out was the night before I found out I was pregnant with Ada. From the moment I knew of her existence, I started living my life for her. I know I need to allow time for myself, but when you’re a single mom, when you have to love your child for both parents, it’s tough. I never want her to feel unwanted. Sure, she’s too young to have those feelings, but loving her and being there for her is who I am now.

I’m her mom.

“I have nothing to wear,” I mutter. Ada babbles, and I smile. Flipping through my closet, I settle on a pair of jeans with rips on the knee. Tired of overthinking my slim options, I pick a black flowy tank top. It’s been a long time since I’ve worn it. Now for shoes. I drop to my knees and dig into the back of my closet. I find a pair of black heels, and my feet ache just thinking about wearing them. Quickly, I dismiss them and grab the black ballet flats.

Ada crawls over to me and pulls herself up. I kiss her cheek, and she returns the gesture with a sloppy kiss of her own. “It’s not like I’m trying to impress anyone,” I tell her. Images of Maverick fill my mind. But let’s be honest—he’s out of my league. Not only that but he’s never made me think he’s interested in more than friendship. Other than the super sweet things he does for me and Ada, but I’ve learned that’s who he is. According to Jordyn, all of his brothers are the same.

Mr. and Mrs. Kincaid sure know how to raise them. I wonder if it’s something in the water in Georgia?

Standing, I strip out of my robe and slide into the jeans. They fit me like a glove. It’s been so long since I’ve worn them. I forgot that they make me feel sexy. It’s been ages since I’ve felt that way.

Slipping into the black, flowy tank, I snatch Ada into my arms and grab some toys before going across the hall to the bathroom. Pulling open the shower curtain, I place Ada in the tub and drop her toys in with her. She laughs. She immediately crawls toward the faucet, but with the design of the shower, she’s still too short to reach the handle. Pretty soon, I won’t be able to use this method. She’s going to be walking and running all over the place. She’s really close. It will be any day now.

Tearing the towel off my head, I comb out my hair and blow it dry. Hitting the button for a cold shot of air, I point the dryer at Ada, and she giggles. It doesn’t take long to run the straightener over my locks. My hair is straight already, but the straightener helps smooth it out. I don’t do it every day, but tonight is a special occasion. I’m going out for the first time in almost two years.

After I apply mascara and sheer lip gloss, I’m ready. I’ve never worn a lot of makeup, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Besides, even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t have the time to devote to it. I’ve seen those videos on social media. Those ladies have a million steps to go through each day. I’m not about that life.

Scooping Ada up into my arms, I kiss her cheek. “All right, kiddo, it’s time to get you packed up. You’re going to spend some time with your buddy Maverick and his brother Ryder tonight while Mommy has some mommy time.”

I’m nervous about leaving her with Maverick. I’ve only known him for a short amount of time, but I can’t deny how good he is with her, and she adores him. It’s obvious anytime the two of them are together.

It’s only a few hours. We’re also staying in Willow River, so it’s a short five-minute drive to get to his place. I won’t be far, and my gut tells me I can trust Maverick. In fact, I think he might be the most trustworthy person I’ve ever met. He’s solid and dependable and sexy as hell, but I’m not going to think about that last part. I can’t. With how sweet he is to us, if I allow myself to think about that, I’ll fall down into a rabbit hole that will only end in pain. Been there, done that, got my daughter to prove it.

Derrick was a charmer. We were only casually dating, but he was good to me and apparently told me what I wanted to hear. Lesson learned? Before you sleep with someone, you need to know their life goals. Do they want kids? How do they feel about kids in general? Sure, they could lie, but I have a feeling Derrick wouldn’t have. Would his confession have changed my mind about sleeping with him? I doubt it. I was pretty wasted the night our daughter was conceived. The one and only time we slept together. The one and only time I’d ever slept with anyone.

The lesson of a lifetime. Birth control is not one-hundred-percent effective; I knew that, but I still thought with a condom, we were protected. The universe said, “Hold my beer,” and gave me the best thing to ever happen to me. Sure, there were bumps along the way, and her father is an asshole, but she’s my best friend. I wouldn’t change a single thing if it meant she wasn’t mine.

Back in my room, I place Ada on the floor to play, making sure the bedroom door is shut. I pack the diaper bag with extra diapers and wipes. I add in a couple of pairs of pajamas in case she has a diaper blowout or some messy eating. I make sure there are some teething tablets, baby Orajel, and some Tylenol. I don’t think they’ll need it, but you never know. You can never be too prepared. I’ve learned that since becoming a mom. I grab another small tote and toss in her favorite blanket and her favorite toys.

Ada crawls over to me and holds onto my legs to stand. She bounces up and down and giggles.

“Don’t worry, sweetie, we’re not moving out.” I laugh. “Mommy is just making sure you have what you need tonight.” I zip up both bags and toss them over one shoulder before bending and lifting her into my arms, settling her on my hip. We make our way to the kitchen, where I put Ada in her high chair and pour out some puffs for her to snack on.

Does Maverick have a high chair? Do I need to bring mine? I better make sure. Grabbing my phone from my back pocket, I dial his number.

“You’re not canceling,” he answers.

“I’m not. But do you have a high chair?”

“Yeah. I’ve got one of those that straps to the kitchen chair and folds up.”

“Okay. Good. Okay,” I say again.

“Stel, she’s going to be fine. You’ll be five minutes away.”

“No. I know.” I blow out a heavy breath. “I’m nervous,” I admit.

“Why are you nervous?”

“This is the first time I’ve been out since finding out I was pregnant.”

“What?”

“My friends, they wanted to party. We were in college. I didn’t want to tag along and watch them get wasted, and Derrick, Ada’s sperm donor, he wrote me off when I told him.” I’ve told him this, but I’m spewing the words to him again in my nervousness.

“My sisters-in-law are all amazing women. I promise you there are no expectations or judgments from them. You’re going to go. Have a couple of drinks, and relax. Tonight, you’re not in charge of everything. You let me handle all of that. I promise I’ll keep your baby girl safe.”

“I believe you,” I tell him. “Ada’s my best friend, Maverick, but you—you’re giving her some competition.”

“Yeah?” He sounds pleased by my confession. “I’ll share that title with her,” he tells me.

“She’s always going to be my number one.” My daughter is my heart and my entire world. She will always be.

“As she should be.”

“Okay. I’m packing some snacks, and I’ll bring milk.” I rattle off all the extras I shoved into the diaper bag and the extra bag.

“That all sounds perfect, Stel.” He doesn’t berate me for being overly prepared. He just accepts it.

“So, I guess I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, Stel. I’ll see you girls soon.”

I pack snacks into the extra bag before zipping it up and going over my mental checklist before loading Ada up in the car and heading toward Maverick’s place.

“She’s usually asleep by eight, but it’s a new place, so she might not. She likes to snuggle with her blanket, and I usually rock her.” I explain our normal routine. Boring but structured. That’s important for babies.

“Got it.” Maverick smiles at me.

“I’ll call to check on her,” I tell him.

“That’s fine too.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls his cell phone out, holding it up for me to see. “Fully charged, and the ringer is on high.”

I nod. “Thank you. Are you sure?”

“Stella.” Ryder says my name, and I turn to look at him. “She’s safe. We’ll protect her as if she were ours. Let’s go. I’m dropping you ladies off so you can drink.”

“Oh, I can’t. I have Ada.”

“You can,” Ryder insists. “Just a couple. I’ll drive you girls home later, and we can make sure your car gets to your place.”

“I don’t want to be too much trouble.”

“Stella. Give your girl a kiss and get your ass in the car.” Ryder’s tone is serious.

I look over at Jordyn. “You heard the man.” She leans over and kisses Ada’s cheek, who is in Maverick’s arms and loops her arm through mine.

“Love you,” I tell my daughter, also kissing her cheek. I step back and squeeze Maverick’s arm. “Thank you for this.”

“Go. Have fun. We’re having our own little party as soon as Uncle Ryder gets back, right, Ada?” he asks my daughter. She babbles back to him like she always does, placing her hands on his face and running her fingers through his stubble.

Something happens when he refers to Ryder as her uncle. My belly twists, not with dread, but with longing. I wish these amazing men—hell, this amazing family—was ours. It’s people like me and Ada, who have very few people in our lives that we can count on, that know what it means to have this kind of support system.

“I’ll be back, bro. You two party animals don’t start without me.”

“If you need me?—”

“I’ll call, Stella. I promise. If we need you, I’ll call,” Maverick assures me.

I wave and allow Jordyn to lead me out to their car.

An hour in, and I’m glad I let them talk me into this. All the ladies are easygoing and friendly. They’ve included me in their conversations and recalled stories of their husbands and kids, especially Blakely, making me laugh endlessly.

“Wait. It was a condom wrapper?” I ask, sputtering with laughter.

“Yep.” Kennedy places her palm on her forehead. “She asked Maverick if it was a golden ticket.”

Something a lot like jealousy swarms inside my chest, but I ignore it, choosing to let the laughter take over. I know Maverick has been with women. Hell, he’s not even mine. However, a couple of drinks in, I’ve accepted that I’m developing a crush. Okay, maybe the crush is already developed.

“That’s great,” I say, finishing the rest of my margarita.

The night is one of the best I’ve had in—maybe ever. I feel welcomed, and we all get along so well it’s as if we’ve all been thick as thieves our entire lives. I’m so relaxed that I drink more than I should have. I’m still able to take care of Ada. I know my limits, but I’m also feeling really good. Definitely past where I had intended to let myself go, but I’ve been having such a good time I didn’t even notice.

I’ve only called to check on Ada once and sent off just two text messages. I’m proud of myself for that. Maverick even sent back pictures and a short video of Ryder making Ada giggle so hard that her entire body was shaking. It helped me to relax further. Not only that, but I opened up to them. They were asking questions about life before Willow River, and I ended up telling them everything about getting pregnant, Derrick refusing us, and my parents kicking me out. I’m surprised how good it felt to talk about it. Why, I’m not sure. I’ve already told both Maverick and Jordyn about all of this. Something about opening up when I’m used to holding everything in is therapeutic.

“You ladies ready to head home?” a masculine voice asks.

I look up to see one of Maverick’s brothers. When he leans down and kisses Alyssa, I figure he must be Sterling. The ladies helped me remember their spouses tonight.

“We’re ready.”

“We are too.” He nods to a table in the back.

I gasp when I see it’s all the brothers, and the other must be Ramsey’s husband. Ryder and Maverick are missing. “Have you been here the entire time?” I blurt.

“We have.”

“No. I feel terrible that Ryder and Maverick missed a brothers’ night.” I reach for my phone to call and apologize when a hand lands over mine. I turn to look at the man standing behind Jade. This must be Orrin.

“This is what we do, Stella.” He gives me a kind smile. “When the wives go out, so do we. We stay out of the way, and a few of us stay sober to make sure we get everyone home safely.”

“Really?” I ask in awe.

“Really,” Jade assures me.

“It’s fine, Stella,” Jordyn says sweetly from her seat next to me.

“That’s… really sweet. Now I see where Maverick gets it.” I slap my hand over my mouth, not meaning to say that out loud. Everyone just laughs but doesn’t mention it. Instead, they discuss who is driving who home, and then we’re ushered out of the bar.

“Why isn’t Merrick with us?” I ask, once in the back seat of Orrin’s car.

“He’s sticking around a little longer. We have to drive back by the Tavern on the way home, so I told him I’d swing back by and pick him up.”

“Then you’ll have to come all the way back here. I could have waited.”

“Nah, he’s going to stay at our place. Orrin and I are having a day date tomorrow, and Merrick is going to watch Orion for us. We do this every so often. We have breakfast, run errands, do grocery shopping, and sometimes we go see a movie. It’s not overly romantic, but it’s our time,” Jade explains.

“Oh. That’s nice. And important.” I’m not just saying that. It really is nice how they all show up for each other. It’s a little intimidating, if I’m being honest, the way they love. “Thank you for taking me back. Wait, you’re going to have to take me home, too, after picking up Ada. I’m so sorry.”

Jade reaches back and places her hand on my knee. “Relax, Stella. It’s just across town. It’s not like it’s way out of our way. We’ll get you and Ada home safely.”

“Thank you,” I whisper as I sit back in my seat and send up a silent thank-you for bringing these people into my life.

When we reach the house, the lights are low. Orrin, Jade, Jordyn, and I make our way to the door. I get there first, so I knock softly.

“Just go on in,” Orrin tells me.

“I can’t do that.”

“Sure you can. Mav doesn’t care. Besides, he has your baby girl in there.” Jordyn turns the handle and pushes open the door.

Orrin motions for me to follow her, so I do. I don’t look back when I hear the soft click of the door closing behind him. I know that Orrin and Jade are right behind us. I follow Jordyn into the living room and stop frozen. Ryder is asleep on the couch, a remote in his hand. Then there’s Maverick. He’s in the recliner; it’s reclined back. His eyes are closed, his breaths deep and even, matching my daughter”s, who is asleep on his chest. His big hand is resting against her back as if he needs to protect her.

Tears spring to my eyes.

I hear commotion beside me and turn to see Jordyn with her cell phone pointed at them, taking a picture. “What are you doing?” I ask her quietly.

“You’re going to want to remember this.”

I don’t argue with her. She’s right. I do want to remember this moment. However, what Jordyn doesn’t realize is that the image before me will forever be ingrained in my mind. How could I ever forget this kind, loving man, treating my daughter as if she’s special to him?

Jordyn slides her phone back into her pocket and practically skips over to Ryder. She touches his hand, and his eyes flutter open.

“I missed you,” he tells her.

I place my hand over my chest to ward off the ache that’s forming there. What I wouldn’t give for a man to love me like that.

“Take me home, husband.”

“You got it.”

They say their goodbyes and head out the door. “I hate to wake them,” I tell Jade and Orrin.

“Then don’t. Merrick is staying with us. Just take his room or take Maverick’s, and he can take Merrick’s.”

“I can’t just spend the night,” I say too loudly.

“You can, Stel,” Maverick’s groggy voice greets me. “She’s peaceful, and I’m too damn comfortable to move.”

“Come on.” Orrin places his hand on my shoulder. “I’ll show you to Maverick’s room. He can take Merrick’s if he decides to come to bed.”

“I can take her,” I tell Maverick.

“Nah. We’re comfortable. If she wakes, I’ll bring her in to you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Stella, go to bed. I’ll be right here.” He closes his eyes, ending the discussion.

My eyes find Jade’s. “This is crazy.”

“No, it’s not. It’s late, and it makes sense she’s sleeping, so it’s good not to move her. Just get some sleep. You can leave in the morning. Come on, I’ll take you.” She gives her husband a soft smile letting him know she’s taking over.

I nod. Truth be told, I like the idea of being here with him. I’m sure if I was completely sober, I’d argue, but then again, I’d be sober enough to drive myself. I guess at least this way, I won’t have to worry about Orrin and Jade going out of their way to take me back to my grandparents’ place. Besides, it’s not like my grandparents are there to worry about why I didn’t come home.

Jade takes me to Maverick’s room and promises to call me tomorrow. I kick off my shoes and slide beneath the covers that smell like him.