13. Dare for Change

13

DARE FOR CHANGE

EVANGELINE

O n every street corner on the way to pick up Darren is a sign with his face on it.

Dare for change.

When I finally make it into Lynchburg, I turn down Main Street and look for an empty spot. I take my time walking down the block looking in shop windows for inspiration. When Ethan from Rustic Charm Designs came earlier, he asked what my vision was, and I didn’t have one.

Darren wanted me to change it, to make it our home, but the problem was… I didn’t know what that should look like, and no amount of paint colors or flooring options could answer that for me.

I didn’t have an unrealistic expectation of what it would be like coming back. I didn’t think that I would show up at his rally and everything would magically be okay. That’s part of the reason it took me so long to come back in the first place.

I love Darren.

I love the person he’s become.

But he feels out of reach, even though he’s right in front of me. As I stand in front of the campaign headquarters looking through the window, I watch him with his staff, so easy with his smile, and casual with the way he sits on the edge of a desk talking passionately with his hands. Then I see the person he’s with and the way she lays her hand on his arm and leans against him as she laughs at something he says.

Angie.

I open the door and walk through the maze of desks and veer out of the way as volunteers pass by. Stacks of signs lean against the wall and phones ring incessantly.

When Darren notices me, he smiles and then Angie follows his gaze, removing her hand from his arm.

“Evan, you remember Angie.”

“Yes, nice to see you again.” I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and stand awkwardly between them.

“Are you ready to go?” I ask expectantly.

“Oh, you didn’t have to come all this way, I could have given him a ride home.” Angie smiles.

I lift my eyebrows. “I bet…”

“We were talking about the article in the Caterwaul,” Darren explains.

“Oh, am I in trouble again for speaking out of turn?” I inquire in a not-so-teasing tone.

“No.” She laughs. “Dare was just saying you should do more interviews. You were a hit. The community loves how down to earth you are.”

“ Dare said that?” I slide my eyes to him.

“And this must be the dress.”

“Yes, it is.” I straighten and look her in the eye.

I can’t help but notice how at ease she is, and I feel a bit out of my element. No doubt she’s smart and connected or Darren wouldn’t have hired her.

“Are you going to be taking a more active role in the campaign now that you’re back?”

“I’m sure you’ll be seeing more of me around here.”

“I have a few things to finish up,” Darren announces, loosening his arm from around me. “If you want to wait in my office, I’ll only be a few minutes.”

My hand lingers on Darren’s shoulder. Darren angles his head towards me as I move beside him.

“It was nice to see you again, Angie.” I nod in her direction politely.

When I strut towards the office, I know his eyes are on me and not Angie.

Rausch stands in front of a map full of red and blue pins indicating which area is heavily leaning towards one party or the other. Right now, there are more red than blue.

“Darren’s not doing well, is he?” I guess, and Rausch turns around.

“When voters don’t know you, they don’t trust you,” he explains. “That’s why we organized the rally in the park.”

I lean against the desk and cross my arms over my chest.

“You look like you have something to say,” Rausch runs a hand through his hair, smoothing down a few stray pieces.

“Darren’s not used to losing.”

“You came back for a reason. If you’re not fully committed, then you need to make a decision, because Darren’s heart needs to be in it to win,” Rausch cajoles.

“I’ll become a public figure if I commit fully, and that’s a dangerous place for me to be,” I admit.

“Do you doubt that when I said I would do everything in my power to protect you, that I could do it?”

“I don’t want to be forever looking in the rearview mirror. If it isn’t Langley, it’ll be someone else.”

“Just how many senators are there in your closet?” he asks with a cynical smile.

“Not as many as you’d think. Besides, Langley’s different.”

“How so?” He crosses his arms over his chest and settles in.

“He’s much like Kerry in a way.”

Rausch furrows his brow.

“He married into money and had to climb his way to where he is, but unlike Kerry, Langley climbed by stepping on those beneath him.”

“And you think that’s what set them apart?” he queries.

“Langley’s insecure about whether he really belongs, and people who are scared do unpredictable things to protect themselves,” I further explain.

“You think you know Kerry by just meeting him once?” Rausch challenges.

“You knew him best, didn’t you?” I eye him, seeing the slight tic in his jaw.

He doesn’t answer me, but he doesn’t have to.

“Kerry didn’t want people to know about where he came from, and he went to great lengths to hide that. So no, I don’t doubt that you could protect my past from the press because you’ve already proven you can do that. The question is whether you should .”

Rausch takes a seat, clasping his hands in his lap, and looks into the bullpen where Darren is still working with Angie.

“You remind me of Merrill,” he observes, which gets my attention.

“You don’t have to blow smoke up my ass, Rausch. It’s not me you have to get over the fifty yard line, it’s Darren.”

“And you think you’re nothing like Merrill,” he chuckles.

“Don’t tell me, she used the word ass while in conversation with you, but in a different context?” I grip the edge of the desk and cross my ankles.

“She didn’t like me either at first.”

“Shocker,” I roll my eyes while drumming my fingers against my forearm, wondering what’s taking Darren so long.

“I’m not the enemy, but neither is being the representative for the fifth district of Virginia,” Rausch insists. “Do you think it was easy for Merrill to lose Kerry to The Hill?” he proposes.

“Is that the only thing she lost him to?”

He scowls. “She knew exactly what she was getting into when she married him.”

“I did too, but then I fell in love with Darren, and I intend to keep him,” I narrow my eyes. “Especially when he wins.”

Rausch eyes me like he’s performing a dissection.

“If you think I’m not in this to win, you’re mistaken.” I reassure him. “Just tell me what I need to do.”

Darren enters the office and Rausch rubs his palms against his thighs before standing. He looks as though he can feel the tension between Rausch and me.

“Production starts Monday for the TV ads,” Rausch announces, and Darren makes a face.

“We’ve talked about this.” Rausch gets his attention as he finishes shoving papers into his bag.

He turns from the desk and leans against it. “I don’t like mudslinging.”

“Jordie Calhoun won’t have a problem pointing out your weaknesses,” Rausch counters.

He nods, but still hands him the notes. “Take out anything personal.”

Rausch takes the paper reluctantly. “You know he won’t be as gracious.”

“What’s he going to run?” I question, feeling uneasy.

“Nothing about you,” Darren answers, giving me a reassuring smile.

“He likes to point out my lack of experience in his campaign ads, and”—he lifts an eyebrow—“my privilege.”

“He means to say that Jordie likes to play up his family values and that Darren was partying and getting arrested for public indecency,” Rausch answers for him.

Darren rubs the back of his neck with an embarrassed smile.

“Yes, we can all agree I’m the antichrist.” Darren throws his hands up, half joking.

“Why can’t we just come out and tell people who I am?” I blurt out.

“That you’re my wife?” Darren counters, his eyes narrowed.

“You know what I mean. About my past.”

Both Darren and Rausch’s heads turn and it’s comical as they mirror each other’s expressions.

“You’re joking,” Rausch chides.

“No, I’m not,” I offer. “It just makes sense.”

“That’s like cutting off the legs of a racehorse before the race even starts,” Rausch argues, and judging by the expression on Darren’s face, he might agree.

“While that’s a particularly lovely metaphor,” I say sarcastically, “if you rip the Band-Aid off now, you won’t have to worry about it later.”

“Who says the Band-Aid even needs to come off? I have it handled,” Rausch quips.

I look to Darren for backup, but he stays silent.

“Let’s put a pin it.” Darren grabs his laptop bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

“I’ll email you the talking points for the ad over the weekend,” Rausch calls after him, and I follow him out of the office.

“Have a good night, Angie,” he smiles as we pass by her desk, and she beams back.

“Goodnight. And it was nice to see you again, Evangeline!” she calls after me.

The walk to the car is quiet and I occupy my mind by window shopping.

“Did something happen with the decorators?” Darren asks, and his question rubs me the wrong way.

“No,” I answer in a clipped tone, tossing him the keys.

He slides behind the driver’s wheel but doesn’t start the car.

He starts to say something, but I interrupt him.

“I’d like to start working back at the charity,” I tell him. “I mean to take my place as chairwoman of the foundation.”

“I thought you felt out of place on the board?” he asks.

“Let’s put a pin in it,” I say with sarcasm.

Darren hesitates for a moment but then he jams the car in gear, and we drive in silence the entire way back to the lake house. It’s the longest twenty minutes of my life.

As soon as the car stops, I get out and slam the door behind me. Instead of going in the house, I walk along the path that goes through the side yard and out to the dock. I need some space, but Darren follows me. I can hear him breathing heavily the whole way.

“Are you embarrassed by me?” I whirl around as soon as we’re out of earshot from the house.

“Of course not!”

I cross my arms over my chest and turn towards the lake. The breeze tosses my hair around my shoulders and causes ripples in the water.

I make a disbelieving noise.

He sighs heavily. “Telling people about your past comes at a cost,” he contends.

“It’ll cost you votes,” I say for him.

“You should know by now I’m not worried about votes,” he raises his voice. “You left because you didn’t want your past to interfere and now you want to tell the world?”

“Because it’s different now,” I try to explain, looking at him. “I’m back. I’m your wife and I don’t want to be hidden like some secret.”

I brush my thumb over the empty place where my ring should be.

“You’re not a secret that needs to be hidden.” He reaches for me but I back away.

“Are you afraid to go against Rausch?” I challenge him.

“That’s insulting.” He rears back.

“Then what?” I make him look at me by standing in his line of sight.

“I’m not afraid of what it will cost me ,” he says, and then looks past me to the lake.

“I can handle Jordie pointing out all my flaws, my lack of experience, and my many indiscretions.” He pauses and his gaze settles on me. “But I don’t know how to handle criticism of you .”

Suddenly, I’m at a loss for words.

“Anonymity is a gift, Evan. Don’t take it for granted.”

“I think it might be a little late for that, don’t you think?”

“I don’t have time for this.” He lets out a frustrated breath. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m not doing so well in the polls and the support I thought I would have from the rotary club doesn’t seem to be panning out…” he leaves the sentence hanging.

“You’re still angry with me.”

“Yes, I’m angry!” he admits, raising his voice. “I don’t want to be, but I am.”

I wanted him to admit it but now that he has, his words sit on my chest like the weight of a piano.

“You broke my fucking heart!” He yells.

“I know,” I admit, and we stand in silence staring at each other. I take a step forward. “I don’t want to be a problem you have to solve.”

He reaches for me. “You’re not a problem. You’re a solution. You’ve always been the solution.”

I pull back and look up at him through my lashes. “Where’s my ring, Darren?”

He gives me a devilishly handsome smile. “I’ll get you a real ring, a proper ring.”

“I want my ring,” I demand, and risk sounding like a petulant child.

He digs into his pocket and pulls out his keys. He removes the cheap band from the keyring and places it on my finger.

“You had it in your pocket all this time?” I ask indignantly.

He shrugs, annoyingly flippant while I’ve been wondering this whole time when he was going to give it back to me.

“You’re an asshole.” I push hard on his chest. Before he realizes what’s happening, he’s falling backwards into the lake.

I place my hand over my mouth, but I can’t muffle the laughter.

When he surfaces, he shakes the hair out of his face. He smiles, looking past me and I feel someone push hard, and I lose my balance.

“Noah!” I yell, just before I hit the water.

I surface, sputtering water from my mouth and trying to push my hair out of my face. “It’s the middle of summer. Why is this water so cold?!” I fume, hitting the surface with my arms. “Are you laughing at me, Darren Walker?”

He pulls me to him.

“You look really good wet.”

I feel my anger ebb away and brush my nose against his as I look at him through my wet lashes. He presses his lips to mine and I thread my fingers through his hair. Deepening the kiss, I forget that we have an audience until I hear Noah yell, “Ewwwww!”