23. Belle

Rian blinks at me in surprise.

"You"ve… finished all those books? Already?"

I stand at my door, gazing down at the fluffy carpet between my toes as my cheeks burn bright red.

Once again, I tuck my hair behind my ear and shrug. "I guess I just enjoyed them so much."

Rian is still in a state of shock.

It"s only been a week, but I finished those three books he handed me.

He shakes his head. "It takes me a week if not more to get through a whole book…"

I meet his eyes. Well, I suppose I do have more time on my hands than him.

And not only that… he has three Alphas to please him.

What need does he have for smut when he has the real thing?

I"m green with envy whenever I see the way they look at him, and sometimes I spy that distant light in their eyes, knowing that they are all having an internal conversation through their bond.

I"m learning so much about pack bonds through my books alone, and it"s like a whole new world has opened up to me.

No wonder Francis never gave me such books; I would have known the instant I read about those Omegas and their stories that I was just the same.

They all perfume, and they all have heats and Alphas who would move mountains for them.

That"s where our similarities end.

Unlike those Omegas, I don"t have a pack, and whenever I read about the sweet ways those Alphas treat their Omegas, I feel this dark, empty chasm opening up inside me.

They not only make them feel wanted and special, but they touch their Omegas, too.

They bend over backwards for them, creating the perfect nest to their Omega"s liking.

It"s the life I would like for myself, but I know it can never be.

After all, I am merely a guest in this house, and I am too afraid to overstep a line.

Rian has been nothing but kind to me, and the last thing I want to do is offend him and take his Alphas away from him.

The more I read about Omegas and their pack dynamics, the more I become curious about Rian.

He is not like the Betas in those books.

For starters, he smells far too sweet.

Even sweeter than me, and I watch him from beneath my eyelashes.

Rian catches me staring, raising a brow.

I shake my head. "N-nothing…"

Now we stand in the hall as we discuss my reading.

Poor Rian is still at odds, wondering how someone can read so fast.

I"m too ashamed to tell him that books were all I had once. They were my windows to the world outside my cage, and I have no idea where I would be right now if it weren"t for those stories.

They taught me how incredibly lonely I was, and that there is more to life than just my miserable apartment and Francis"s cruel treatment.

If not for those pages, I would have become conditioned to Francis"s cruelty.

I never would have learned to take a stand and escape him.

My body seizes up as I hear that distant jingle of Francis"s bell, and Rian steps back, worry knitting his brows.

"Belle? Are you all right?"

Francis is out there somewhere still searching for me, and sometimes at night, I wake in a cold sweat and sense him standing in the room with me.

He tries to drag me back to that apartment in the woods, and this time, he makes sure that I will never escape his clutches again.

He rings that bell and my mind blacks out, and I lose all sense of self.

"Belle?"

Blood-splattered walls flash through my mind, and I"m not sure what happens next. One moment I am standing, and the next, I am lying in Rian"s arms, gazing up at his concerned green eyes.

"Belle? Talk to me…"

He reaches up, brushing my hair away from my sweaty face, and I revel in the touch.

I don"t deserve such kindness, and once again, Troy"s words echo through my mind.

She will bring us misery.

"Belle, you all right?"

I meet his eyes, nodding shyly.

I am now.

Rian protects me with his arms, and I have never felt so safe. For a moment, I can almost believe that my own happiness is possible and that I could one day become a part of this pack.

But it can never be.

Troy is right.

I shouldn"t be here.

"What happened?"

Footsteps thunder up the stairs behind Rian, and now Leo"s face appears.

"Belle!"

Leo kneels down beside his Beta, cradling my head on his lap as he lays me down on the floor, purring to me deeply.

I don"t deserve his purring, but I still soak up every moment of his attention, pretending that I am one of the Omegas in my books, and that they are my pack and ridiculously devoted to me.

A girl can dream.

Leo and Troy returned a few days ago, and the former stayed in his room for a while.

It was almost as if he was afraid of me seeing him.

I never saw what state he was in, but I sure smelled it.

The house had reeked of blood and death; a scent I know all too well.

I"m no idiot. I know that he and Troy had killed someone.

They are hitmen.

But I hope they understand that I would never judge.

Because I am pretty sure I am the exact same.

"Are you all right now, Belle?" Rian asks. "You gave us quite the scare."

Guilt pinches at my insides, and I look away in shame.

I hate making them feel that way, and I just hope they know that it was never my intention.

I am just going through some things.

But I repeat the mantra in my head.

Francis is long gone and he will never find me again.

I am finally free.

I just have to recuperate first, and then when I am brave enough, I will leave and find my brother.

And then I will be out of their hair and they can go on with their lives and forget all about me.

My heart sinks at the idea of never seeing them again.

I can"t even stomach the idea of never seeing Jeremy or even Troy again.

My insides turn cold at the memory of Jeremy. The way he looked at my tattoo…

He looked at me like I was a monster.

He knows something. I don"t know what, but I couldn"t help but detect that scent of an Omega on him.

It was distant, but there...

Only difference was that scent was laced with blood, and again, it"s a smell I know all too well.

None of them can know.

They can"t know how dangerous I am.

No longer will Rian look at me with such affection in those soft green eyes, and Leo will stop purring at me and comforting me.

Instead, those purrs will turn to growls, and then I will find myself alone again.

But at least I will be better prepared this time.

Now I know what I am.

I have a slightly better understanding of the world. Somewhat.

Yet, the only worlds I know are the fictitious kinds that exist in my books.

I have no idea what the real world entails.

I have no idea what is in store for me when I finally go it alone.

"Uh-hum…"

My heart seizes at the sound of that cough, and now his bitter coffee scent fills the hallway.

Leo tenses above me, and a growl rips from his throat, making me freeze.

Rian looks at someone from over his shoulder, but I don"t have to look up to know who is there.

"Am I interrupting something?"

That sarcastic tone belongs to Troy, and there"s no denying the hatred in his voice.

Troy is right to hate me. He"s not like the others. He"s not as easily fooled.

And now I think Jeremy has finally realized too.

That I am dangerous.

"What is it, Troy?" Rian asks.

I"m too afraid to look up.

Because I know I will see nothing but disgust on that dirty blond Alpha.

"Jay called. He won"t be able to make it home for dinner…"

Rian huffs, rising to his feet.

I"m just about to scurry away and vanish into my room, but Leo wraps his arms around me, keeping his gaze on Troy.

I still can"t look at the other Alpha.

"What?" Rian cries. "But this is the first time we have all been together in weeks!"

Troy shrugs. "Don"t look at me. I"m just the messenger."

His twilight blue eyes fall on me when he catches me staring, and I look away quickly, shame coloring my cheeks.

I just can"t help it. Troy is just too handsome.

Still, that small glimpse was enough to see the hostility in his eyes.

I saw the threat and I make a mental note to myself to never look at Troy again.

I will ensure that we are never alone together.

Well, except for my fantasies. He can do whatever he wants to me there.

As beautiful as he is though, he still intimidates me.

Rian groans, and now he falls back against the wall, gripping his forehead. "For once, it would just be nice if we could all just have dinner as a pack."

Troy purrs for Rian, and I watch them curiously.

Their dynamic is just like the Alphas and the Omegas in my books, and now I wonder…

Troy catches me staring yet again, and now his purr turns into a low growl as he sends me a warning.

Leo tenses up behind me, and now he rises and shoves me behind him as the two Alphas have a showdown.

This is my fault. The longer I stay here, then the more I create a rift in the pack.

Jeremy can"t even stand to be in the room with me now, deciding to work instead of facing the horror of having to eat at the same table as me.

"That"s enough," Rian orders, and just like that, both Alphas stop.

I gaze at Rian in awe.

Such power.

He is nothing at all like the Betas in my books.

No, he is more like…

The thought leaves my head as Troy tosses a final warning glare in my direction, then storms down the stairs.

Maybe I shouldn"t join them for dinner tonight.

Things are already tense.

However, I don"t have much of a choice as Leo begins to pull me away from my bedroom, and I don"t want to hurt his feelings.

So, I will join him for dinner.

Besides, it won"t be long until those soft purrs turn into growls, and then he will soon join Troy"s side to protect Rian from me.

Until then, I will enjoy the attention.

It may be the only love I ever find in this world, no matter how brief.

So, I will take all the happiness I can get.