Chapter 8

Chapter

Eight

T utor Jettie's classroom reminds me of a planetarium I went to once when I was a kid. It's got a huge domed roof, but instead of playing a film about the planet on a screen, and a lesson in how we can save it, this is a stunning roof of stars and constellations that I've never seen before. It's all made of black tiles with dozens of silver and gold metal stars randomly dotted around. In the centre is a version of the sun, a big shining yellow ball of fire that is real, because I can feel how warm it is from down here.

Our raised seats surround a stage in the middle. I slide into a seat next to Annie as we keep looking around at the room, which is full of too many posters, paintings, drawings and other artworks on shelves on every wall. My favourite is the ceiling by far, silver and gold stars twinkling against the light of the burning sun in the middle. Only when we're all in our seat does Tutor Jettie come in and stand on the stage in the same suit she wore this morning. Not everyone can make orange work, but she does.

"Welcome to Nexus History class, new rangers. My classes are not ones that challenge your body or Nexus like the others, but I will work on your mind. You will be informed of secrets the general public of Nexus do not know. What you learn today is for your ears only. You do not tell your family, you do not tell your children, and you don't tell anybody the secrets the rangers know about our people. The book will know and mark you if you speak of the secrets you learn. You will find yourself not wishing to speak about it even if you do."

Annie raises her eyebrows, and I smirk at her. Nexus magic is weird, and we both know it. "We're going to start with the very basics today, but I'll have secrets woven throughout all of the stories that I tell you. All the histories of the Nexus and the Vian are open to you, and I encourage you to spend time asking questions, being inquisitive, and reading. You are to learn; you are to adapt and understand where we came from. Peace is just as important as war. You will learn where the first wars happened, why the Vian want to kill us so much, and why we want to kill them right back. Your job is to keep people alive. You are to keep the Nexus alive for future generations. There is a saying for Nexus rangers, one only spoken in whispers to each other… No range of distance comes between protecting our kind and the hand of a ranger. Remember it."

She waves her hand up in the air. "Above you is the biggest star in our galaxy—the sun. Essentially, that is where we came from. The first Nexus was born out of the sun, travelled as nothing but starlight for thousands of years before finding Earth and humans. It blended itself with the human soul, making the first Nexus being. The first wolf." She looks around the room, her gaze falling on a guy in the front. "Tell me, what do you know of this? You should have been told these stories at least."

The guy clears his throat, his dreadlocks bouncing over his shoulders and around his dark skin. "The first Nexus being was really powerful, but he couldn't live long. He shifted into every animal on earth that he saw. He made cities and new runes. He created a safe haven until it became too much. The first Nexus spent his time with his wife, who fell pregnant in the short few months that he was still alive. Five quintuplets were born, all boys, eight months after the first Nexus' death. They were the first of our kind, and they are our Gods. The twin Wolf Gods, the Bear God, the Snake God and the Mortal God."

"Brilliant." She looks around the room and focuses on another guy, who pales at the attention. "What do you know after this?"

"The five babies all became powerful rulers of Starlight, this city built here that their father began, and they were worshipped by any human who came to visit the city and pleaded to live here. The five rulers put their names together to make the name Nexus for our race, for the being within our soul that is attached to us, and for all generations to remember where they came from. They make who we are. Each one shifted pretty early on in their childhood, and they eventually went on to have their own children who shifted into their Nexus forms, and so on."

"Very good." She claps her hands once. "What the stories will not tell you is the first five Nexus had endless power. Not one or two. Endless." She pauses to let that sink in. "Power that they called starlight. Even back then, they understood that we have starlight running in our veins, attached to our very souls. We are starlight, that's what a Nexus is. It is pure, unfiltered starlight. Some may say we are stars ourselves, walking around the world, travelling this earth as guests next to the humans. If we are stars, then what does that make the Vian?"

Annie puts her hand up, and Tutor Jettie nods to her. "They're the opposite to us. They are darkness. A void that drains and pulls in everything. Almost like a black star, my dad once said."

"Correct. We call them the dark to our light. We do not know their origins or where they came from. They appeared after there had been several generations of Nexus already living, and they soon drained one, marking themselves as our enemy forever. We are both guests on this amazing planet, but we strive for peace, and they will forever strive for destruction. They are not like us. They have no emotions, no guilt or pity. They kill and take and live forever on the payment of our Nexus' souls." I gulp. "Our history is bloody. I will not say it is an easy time to be a Nexus ranger, but you are needed in this fight. We may be made of starlight, but our hands are soaked in blood, and our ancestors' are too. We kill to survive, and when you make your first kill, the first time you take a life, you will know in your soul it was for the greater good. Many wars written into human history were wars between the Vian that the humans sided with. Some humans worked with us to try to save the world in the wars. It all toppled down to the great war that happened in the early nineteen hundreds. Now, the Vian are in minimal numbers, whereas our community is thriving. Light shines brighter. Always. With your help, their genocide is finally in view."

Not always. I'm living proof of that. Annie leans into me. "You've gone pale. Are you okay?"

I nod, but I have to calm my hands down on the bench and hope Annie doesn't stare at the side of my face for much longer.

"All that stands between the extinction of our race is you. Rangers. We train our rangers to be the very best. The pillars of who protect our society. Your first lesson today is a rather simple one. I want you to go outside into the sky tonight and choose a star. Take a picture of it on your phone, find out what its name is on the Starlight database. Find out why you feel connected to it and write an essay to read in our next lesson. I expect you to take your time and to take this seriously. Find a star that calls to you. Use your Nexus, let it choose, let it spread out to the sky. Our eyesight is different to humans, and we see stars that they never will. Find something extraordinary, and I look forward to hearing your tales. I'm sure you're all exhausted after your first lesson, and I'm giving you the afternoon off. Now go and rest. Eat. Prepare for tomorrow's lesson as Tutor Aleksander is not known for kindness as I am."

She walks out, and no one moves for a second, and I get the impression we are all waiting for Hollis's blaring alarm or some other kind of joke. Eventually, everyone gets up and chatter fills the silence.

Annie looks pleased. "I know the perfect star. I see it nearly every time I go out and look at the sky. Even Kosma, my mate, sees it, and he loves it too. What about you?"

I soften my voice. "I don't let myself look at stars very often. I find them…strange." I can't tell her the sad truth about how I like the stars. They are the only time I let myself back at Harry's home to think about my mates. To imagine what they'd look like and to try to feel our bond.

She knocks my shoulder with hers. "Same. I end up staring for hours, and my Nexus sometimes makes me shift so she can look at them."

I still don't know what her Nexus is. "What do you shift into?"

"You're a wolf, right?" she questions, and I nod. "I thought so, I could sense that about you even if your Nexus is shy and hides." Shy is a new word for my Nexus, but I'll take it over terrifying or just plain old screaming. "I'm a bear, like my mate. He is all brown and fluffy, yet I got stuck looking more like a polar bear but greyer."

I grin. "Bears are cute, though."

She laughs with me as we finally get out of the classroom and down the staircase to the middle floor. "Should we go back to our room?"

"I can't. Rhodes offered to take me shopping. I don't have anything much, but he sorted out an early payment for working with him somewhere."

She frowns. "What about your family's estate? I mean, it still stands there, and you must be super rich… It's yours now by our rights, as you're the youngest survivor of the Autumn family, so why not just ask for it?"

My heart plummets. I don't deserve that, and setting foot in my father's family home when I was the one who destroyed everything…no. I'm a monster and I know my place. "Yeah, I know, but I want a fresh start. Not ghosts."

She comes with me to the entrance hall. "Lost family wouldn't be ghosts but silent supporters. If you change your mind?—"

"I won't," I answer quickly.

She searches my eyes and leaves it. "Where are you meeting Rhodes, then?"

"I don't know exactly where?—"

"Because you're not." Onyx sneaks up on me like the very ghosts we have been talking about. I barely even sensed him, which is a little concerning.

I end up snapping at him. "What are you doing here?"

His jaw tightens visibly, and I wince. He is wearing dark jeans, a white polo shirt, and a watch that looks like it costs the same as a house. "Hello to you too." He looks to my right. "Ann Donovan? You look like your father, so I'm taking a guess."

"Yes, but I go by Annie, and frankly, that is not a nice thing to say. He is old and more wrinkled than our fifteen-year-old cat." She huffs. "Nice to meet you, Onyx. I'll leave you two to the awkwardness."

She runs off like the wind is chasing her, and Onyx crosses his arms. "So…you're making friends, and you can be nice to people. That's good to know. I thought your only expression was a frown and you could only call me filthy names."

I keep that frown he mentioned on my face. "She's my roommate and I'm not a completely horrible person. I can make friends. I'm nicer to people who don't lock me in rooms."

"I didn't mean it like that." He groans, rubbing the back of his neck. "Look, can we start over? I would appreciate if you stopped tapping the rune all night to keep me awake and frowning at me like I'm your enemy when I'm not. I do not judge or hate you, but we are in a delicate position and linked together whether you rejected me or not. I have accepted, even if I…" He pauses and shakes his head. "I have made my Nexus accept you do not want the bond the Gods gave us, but living like this is already tiring."

Onyx waits for my answer, and the sensible section of my brain tells me to run. Tells me that being his friend or whatever he is offering is a really fucking stupid idea, but my heart? My Nexus? Gods…we want to be close to him. I already know it won't last. He will always end up hating me. "Friends."

He smiles at me, and my knees instantly feel weak. He is jaw droppingly gorgeous when he smiles. "Why didn't you say dreamwalking was your power? You were marked as having no powers when you were younger?" I frown and he adds, "Finn told me. He was grumbling about his lack of sleep, and I knew you were awake too, thanks to the rune headache you like to give me."

"Telltale." I wrinkle my nose and I don't say anything else about my power. "Where is Rhodes anyway?"

"He had an emergency at the pet shelter he works at. I'm sure he'll tell you about it or show you when you join him, but I'm taking you shopping."

"No offence, but I don't want to go with you. You don't come across as a guy who likes to shop or follow me about." I clear my throat when he stares at me a bit too intensely for a friend. "I can wait for Rhodes to have more spare time."

I go to walk away, but he catches my elbow. Every inch of skin that touches is burning, not in a bad way, but a burn that spreads across my body and makes everything tighten. "I will follow you, Gwen." He steps an inch closer and closes his eyes, sucking in a deep breath. "I can hear your wolf, you know, sometimes. When I touch you, it's like your Nexus is screaming for me, and fuck, I want to kiss you just to be close. To taste what is mine. Can you hear my Nexus?"

For a moment, I let myself close my eyes, to feel that link between us that has never died, only diminished when I broke us. When I rejected him. I never let myself wonder what it would have been like to accept them all, to be normal enough to ever have let that happen. I all but claw my elbow from his. "No," I bite out.

He rocks back, looking jarred, but quickly slips on a mask of indifference. Good. I need to do the same even if it hurts. "I'll take you and pretend to be Rhodes. I don't have the pretty blond hair, but I can copy his awful jokes." He makes jokes. I don't know them at all, even if it feels like we have known each other forever. When I don't answer him, he continues. "I promised him. I don't like breaking promises. Ever, Gwen. That means we are shopping even if I have to pick your clothes."

I wince, just imagining what he might choose. "Alright, but make a promise you're not going to be a total dick this entire trip."

He smirks, his eyes almost flashing like a star. "Deal. My car's outside."

Onyx leads me to the door, and I try not to laugh. "Let me guess, you own an expensive sports car? Mum and dad pay for it all?"

"Do you know about my family, then?" he counters, raising an eyebrow.

"Actually, no. It was a guess. Out of all five of you, you seem to wear the most expensive designer shit clothing, and you're polished in a way only money gives you." We step out to the front of the castle, at the top of a dozen wide stone steps that are the same colour as the castle. Right at the bottom is a very expensive sports car. I've got no idea what the name of it is. It's clearly electric, posh and a shiny black.

"Polished. Interesting choice of words." He frowns at his car. "You're old Nexus blood yourself, and your grandmother likely rivals my own family's fortune. Taking the piss out of me being rich is ironic, don't you think?"

I bite my tongue. I didn't need to know my grandmother on my father's side is still very much alive. She has to be getting on a hundred now. Even thinking of her brings back awful memories. Onyx misreads my expression. "You don't like my car. What's wrong with it? It's Italian and?—"

"Boring. It's common and boring," I answer, and he looks like I just stabbed him. It's hard not to smile, and the soft look he gives me makes me want to take it back. Onyx is romantic, and I knew he was dangerous for me, but romanticising what I am is a lethal move.

"Fine, I'll change it." Before I can tell him not to do that, he asks, "What car would you choose?"

Onyx leads me down the steps, clicking his keys and making the doors roll up into the air until the car looks like a dragon. "Oh, you know what, I've never been asked that." He goes round the car with me and opens the door for me, something I didn't expect him to do, but it's very gentleman-like. I slide into the seats, which are all leather, and everything is so shiny in this car. There isn't a hair, a bit of dirt, just nothing. It's almost like no one's ever even driven it before. Onyx climbs in next to me, presses a glowing button to start the engine, but he waits for me to put my seatbelt on before he does his own. Only when the castle is hard to see behind us do I answer his earlier question. "Probably a Land Rover, something with big wheels and a crazy hot pink that makes Barbie's car look pale."

"Pink." He spits the word out, barely holding the pure disgust in his voice. I'm tempted to remind him that he promised not to be an asshole this whole trip, but it's quite comical to hear him try to hold in what he really wants to say. He gulps and I see his Adam's apple moving. "Interesting."

I almost laugh, and I have to look away to hide my massive smile before he sees it. We settle into a comfortable silence, only stopping when Onyx has to slow down as six highland cows fill the road. I lean forward, enjoying them. "How was your first day?" he asks.

"We're not close friends, you know. We don't have to do this small talk while you're doing Rhodes a favour." I bite on my lip. Being defensive is all I really know how to do.

He sighs. "Then just humour me. I want to know, how was your first day?" He stops the car completely as a cow sits in the road, its brown fur blowing in the wind. "Rhodes told me about Hollis. He is a brutal tutor, but today was personal. I'm sure Rhodes has spoken to him."

"My stomach's still turning from the blaring alarm, but the history lesson was actually informative. Lunch was kind of nice. There were times I only ate randomly for weeks when we were hiding, so it's nice to have choices." I don't mention the times we starved because my parents refused to leave the house to get food and only did when I passed out from hunger. Or one of them did. They were protecting me. I know they were trying their best, but sometimes… "It was fine. I made my choice to come here and train."

"Yeah, but you didn't know about Hollis," he softly adds, starting the car again now that the cow has moved on. "I was fucking mad at you for running, again, but you ran yourself into a worse situation than you were already in. I get it, that first meal was rough, and Hollis…he took your rejection worse than all of us. I mean, we all took it bad, but between him and Alek, I'm not sure who would win that shitty award."

"What happened with Alek?"

He gives me a tight smile. "That's his story and I'm not telling you shit that would betray the men I count as brothers."

A feeling of jealousy sinks in the pit of my stomach. They have each other, and they built something while I had to run. I had to do so much alone. "I hardly doubt Alek will be telling me anything, but I don't blame him for it."

Thankfully, he doesn't reply to me, and I keep my eyes on the window as we enter the edge of the city. Onyx drives me into the right side of the city and parks up in a huge car park before a high street of shops. They have such normal shops here, from HMVs to Next and various human clothing apparels with some little quirky shops. There are magic shops that sell enchantments for our Nexus to get high, but most of it is normal. "How do you get human shops in here and actual humans working in them?"

"We pay, handsomely, for the silence. Any humans in the city are on visas or married to a Nexus," he explains, "or born here without a Nexus in their soul. It happens sometimes." Onyx gives me a black credit card with my name on it, tells me how much is on it, which is quite a lot for a month's work, before leaving me to shop. He follows me around, happily taking bags for me at the tills. I only tap my rune a few times to annoy him, and his eyes tighten each time.

I drag him into the quirkier shops to buy tops with questionable things written on the front of them. He doesn't say a word though, even though I can see his eyebrow twitching every time I pick up a top that you might see at a child's shop, like the four Pokémon crop tops, but he stays blissfully silent. After a while, we sit down by a vendor selling boba tea, and I pick a mango flavour with pink edible glitter, and it comes in a pink plastic cup too.

Only then does he leave me for a moment to pop into the Apple shop and pick up a new iPhone that Rhodes pre-ordered. It's got all their numbers on it, and when he hands me the bag, I notice a phone case. It's got a rune painted in a metallic purple, an S with small wolves wrapped around the letter. "It's a lost rune, so your phone can be traced if you lose it. Rhodes thought of everything." He sits down right next to me, his thigh pressed against mine. He's not going to be happy to learn that I don't like phones because my Nexus hates technology for some unknown reason. She will break it, or make it disappear when she takes over eventually. I'm surprised when he takes my drink off me, wraps his lips around the rainbow straw, and drinks it.

I blink, completely shocked as he hands me it back, running his tongue across his bottom lip, and I watch every second. "It tastes like a Barbie house threw up in it, but seeing you want a pink car, it is not that surprising."

"Boba tea is a life choice for me, so shush." I wrinkle my nose at him. "You're way nicer when you've not got me locked in one of your rooms in your house and aren't mad at me."

He leans back on the bench, looking out across the people filling the high street. No one looks at us, it's like we are invisible. "I fucked up. Is that what you want to hear?" He turns his heavy gaze on me. "I'm possessive. Sometimes I've been called an asshole, and I thought you were going to run away at the first chance that you could. I cannot understand why you rejected the bond and ran. I don't think we will ever be able to move past that, but hating you? What does that achieve? Rhodes and I are in agreement that getting to know you is worth the risk. Alek, Hollis and Finn might never not hate you, and that's enough for one person to have on their shoulders."

My stomach fills with unease as my Nexus watches him from my one eye, taking in his words as he continues. "I didn't know what to do with you at the beginning. The guys, we've become like a family, sort of attached to each other almost because you left, because you rejected us, because we're the first rejected Nexus bonds in hundreds of years. In our own way, we figured our life is shit now and we were always going to be judged by everyone. Sticking together became our way of keeping safe. Then you're just back, with no real reason behind all the pain you caused us. You're just there." That broken thing in my chest beats around the deep cracks. "I have always believed the Wolf Gods had a plan for us. Something, some reason all of this happened, and my Nexus is more stable than it's been in forever when I'm near you. I fucked up, and I won't anymore. I can't fully forgive you, not ever, Gwen, but I will be your friend."

The unease in my stomach hits an all-time high. "Onyx, I think—" I stop mid-sentence as I finally register what the feeling is, and I glance up, noticing the surrounding silence. Everyone on the street has frozen in their places, like time has stopped, but they are slowly breaking out of it. The only ones not affected are three hooded Vian who are walking right towards us, and I spin my head back, seeing two more coming in at us from behind. My boba tea slams onto the ground as one of them grabs a nearby Nexus woman, his scarred hand wrapped around her neck. "NO!" I scream, but it's too late. He drains her in a second, leaving nothing but her dark skin now ash coloured as he drops her body to the floor.

Onyx immediately stands in front of me, and he doesn't take his eyes off the ones getting close. "Run, Gwen, and hide."

"No." There's no fucking way that I'm leaving him here. Near immediately, he shifts, and it's magnificent. I'm stuck watching as he shifts, his body morphing into a gigantic wolf. It could rival my own wolf in size and height and width, but his is all black, almost fluffy, and he growls low. Nexus are never more dangerous than when their mates are in danger. I might be a rejected mate, but he will protect me on instinct, and we both know it without saying a word. But there are too many here for just him. Two Vian are a big risk, but five? Fuck, we are screwed.

This is another reason I never wanted to meet them. White shields of magic appear around me, almost like a dome, as Onyx casts out his magic. He wraps the same shields around every Nexus and human on the street almost easily. Even using an impressive amount of magic, he moves like it's effortless, and he is on two of them with nothing but teeth and claws. He jumps on them, ripping claws down the one, literally tearing him apart in a spray of blood. The other is grosser, and I almost wish I didn't see him bite the Vian's head off completely within seconds. He chases the third, who runs, and I spin around, coming face to face with one who sneaked up. I can tell it's him who is using power in a city where he shouldn't be able to use his gifts. There are too many runes protecting every inch of Starlight, but here he is.

"Running a second time won't work. We can find you anywhere," he sneers at me, a hiss echoing from him. Hissing usually means he took a power from a Snake Nexus, and a lot of them have a poison gift. He can't touch me because Vian can easily use powers like that to poison with a single touch. The asshole nods to the shorter Vian next to him, who holds up a glowing yellow hand, and when he touches the shield, electricity buzzes around it.

— BANG —

I stumble back, my eyes stinging. The shield stays, but it's broken and fractured. The asshole Vian hand goes through the broken parts of the shield to grab me. I wince and fall back out the other side of the shield and the gaps, and it flickers away.

Panicked, my monster riles to the front of my mind, and it looks for its mate before even thinking about running. I feel sick pushing it down so I can get my feet to move.

I run, knowing I don't have a choice. I don't have any weapons on me. I can't…I can't let my monster out here. There are too many people. It's too dangerous and Onyx is here. It would consume him too. Gods, I can't kill him or any other innocents. I run as fast as I can towards a random clothing shop and through it, to another street behind where there are a few bodies on the ground. I try not to look at them, to have to mark them as more innocents who died because of me. I tug open the door to the shop next door and slide in, rushing to the middle of the store.

I hear a whimper and look down to see a bundle of Nexus kids hiding in a corner of the store behind mannequins. Shit. I can't let the Vian find them; kids are too easy targets for them. "She's in here. I can smell her Nexus."

Tracker. Great. I duck down, but I have time to see two male Vian step into the front of the store. Their hoods have fallen off, and they both have shaved heads with number tattoos all over their skin, marking them as hunters. How did they get into this city? I thought it was meant to be safe. Blaring alarms finally start going off around the city, and I sense magic in the air. I hold my finger up to my lips and tell the kids to be quiet.

When I spin, my eyes widen as Onyx sneaks into the store from where I came in, still fully clothed, and he grabs me around the waist to pull me out, but I push at him, pointing at the kids. He grits his teeth and goes to stand to fight these two off on his own, but I grab him. They are stronger than the others, and who knows what powers they have? They could explode and take all of the kids' lives with them.

If I'm pushed too far, my monster will come out to play, and an explosion would be a blessing. I glance at his arm where he's been stabbed with something, and my Nexus blanches, demanding we fix its mate. Protect. Blood pours down to my waist where he is still holding me, and he lowers his hands. He is pale, and I know his Nexus is struggling right now not to shift and protect me. I have to do something. "Keep them safe and I will stop them. I won't let them hurt you, Gwen."

"Just stay still and be quiet." I grab his hand and link our fingers together, letting one of my most used powers spread out around us, morphing us until we just look like mannequins in the corner of the store.

Onyx's eyes widen as he takes in the magic. How clear it is and how he has learnt another secret of mine. The Vian walk right past us, and one of them picks up a mannequin, throwing it into the wall. "Fuck, we can't leave without her."

"We failed and if we stay longer, they are going to capture us. We need to leave," the other snarls at him. They run out the back door, and only when I'm sure they have left, I let my power drop. Onyx sits down, breathing out slowly. "You have your dad's power to make people look like…"

"Not the same. He could make people look like others on the street, but I can make a small area look like my surroundings," I explain. "My dad's magic was limited to touch, but I can make a small room morph into whatever I want someone to see for a short time." There's no point hiding this from him.

"You're a more powerful version of his gift," he proudly answers, and I hate that pride in his eyes. "Something good he did for you. Despite every other choice your parents made." I step away from him. He knows nothing about my parents. "You have two unique powers. That's interesting."

Shit, he's seen more of my powers, and if he sees anything else, he's going to know that I'm lying about everything. Nexus never have more than two powers. It's impossible. I'm impossible. When he figures out that I have endless power, he's going to know exactly what my secret is.

Then he will hate me.