Chapter 1

Chapter

One

T here's a wolf watching me from the tree line.

I can spot him in the corner of my eye, even with his mud brown fur almost the same shade as the bark of the surrounding trees. I wait, seeing whether he'll pounce first. He usually does. He always attacks my left side, never the right. Clearly, he has a preference, but he's always too slow. Just as he jumps at me, I easily step to the side, missing his claw, making him skid across the ground. Hard dirt kicks around me as I grin, turning around to face the wolf. I'm on him in a second. Two steps, my glowing dagger pressed an inch away from his eye, and the wolf freezes.

He whines slightly as I pull my Nex dagger back, tilting my head to the side, my long hair falling down around my waist. I should have braided it back this morning, but I was being a bit lazy and enjoying a lie-in instead. The wolf's body shimmers, like looking through cloudy glass for a second. It always amazes me what a Nexus shift looks like. I can just about make out his features spilling from wolf to man before Harry is kneeling in front of me—completely naked. He's good-looking, muscular in all the right places… I have to admit it sometimes.

While he's on his knees for me, we stare at each other, and I wonder if crossing the line is a good idea. It's almost tempting to return the feelings that he has made no effort to hide from the moment we met. Just to know what it's like to kiss someone. Just to know what it's like to escape in pleasure, like the books I've read. I'm almost tempted.

But there are five reasons why I won't.

I turn away first and wait for him to grab his clothes he left out earlier before he used his Nexus to shift into a wolf. He runs a hand through his blond hair as he turns me around, resting his hand on my shoulder with a grin that shows off his dimples and white teeth. His eyes are the same shade as his wolf, and when I look into them, I can see his wolf staring right back. His Nexus likes me too. Which is odd because most of them can sense what I am and immediately hate me. "You're so fast, Gwen. Am I ever going to beat you?"

"No." I arch an eyebrow. "Where would the fun in that be? Let's go home, I'm hungry."

"Good thing I went shopping with dad this morning while you were still snoring." He bumps my shoulder, and I stick my tongue out at him. His eyes linger on my lips for a heartbeat before he meets my eyes. Doll-like eyes, as my mother used to say. Too big, too knowing. Harry is a year older than me, and he is a good person. Rare in this world. Especially for Nexus. He shouldn't be my friend, but he is. I got lucky with him and his family.

We live in a nearly deserted town in the middle of Spain. It's quiet here, and no one comes this way. Perfect for a monster like me to hide from the world. After what happened two years ago, I desperately needed somewhere to hide. Harry's dad knew my father before he died, and my father always told me to come here if anything happened. That it would be safe. After I lost my parents, I turned up on their doorstep injured, covered in blood, and with at least ten bones broken. Harry's mum screamed.

My heart drops to my stomach as I let myself think of the day I lost my parents, knowing absolutely that I don't want to think about it again. I can't go back there. There are two memories I don't let myself dwell on—the rejection and my parents' death.

Harry's house is right on the outskirts of the pack, nestled within a human village in Spain. Most of the humans speak Spanish and don't like the English, and they stay well away from us, which works out pretty well for me.

Harry's parents took a massive risk taking me in, and I owe them a debt. But not enough to have a relationship with their son, like I think his dad is hoping will happen. Harry never found a Nexus mate bond, and while it's rare, it happens. Some just don't. He has already had bad luck, and I know I should run away and not be selfish. I'm selfish because I need to be around him, be around someone. Because when I'm left alone…when it's just me and it —the monster—that's when I go mad. That's when I really believe I'm going to completely lose my mind and be the villain forever.

Harry picks up a tiny orange lizard off a tree, holding it in his hands as I take several steps away. I really, really don't like bugs or things that crawl. He shakes his head at me and puts it down. "There's been some Vian spotted near the pack yesterday." My lungs freeze in fear. He pulls me to him, completely unaware of the struggle in my mind right now. The struggle to hold it back when it knows enemies are nearby. "It's okay, I'll keep you?—"

I shove him away, gasping in the warm air. "I told you, you don't touch me when—" I stop in my warning before I say too much. Harry isn't stupid. He knows something is wrong with me, but he doesn't know the truth. He doesn't know what lurks under my skin, and he would hate me if he knew.

He holds his hands up. "Sorry, sorry. You just, you looked really scared." He rubs the back of his neck. "You never really told us what happened with your parents, but we put two and two together. That it was the Vian who killed them, and you escaped."

"Yes." I lie so easily now. That's not what happened at all. If I told him, if I told anybody, they would hate me. Gods, they would hate me so much. I wonder if my parents hate me too for what I did.

He searches my eyes and thankfully changes the subject. "Anyway, the rangers and alpha gave the order for us to stay in after eight. No going out. You know they're more powerful at night, and at least in the day, we can fight them off." No, he can't. He doesn't have a clue what they are really like.

I glance at the sun setting in the sky, how close it is to disappearing. It must be at least six already. I nod before turning and going to the house. "How did they even find us out here? Normally, they go after the bigger packs, not us. There are few Nexus here that make it worth attracting the attention of the Nexus capital city." Starlight City and the Vian. Both threats to me. Every time I hear Harry talk about Starlight, my stomach drops. It's the very place I've avoided for years because my mates live there. They practically rule it from what I've heard. The city usually sends teams of rangers to investigate any Nexus deaths, and if they sent one of them out here…

Harry laughs. He is too innocent for his own good. "Well, any Vian would be eliminated in seconds if the city rangers came. It was stupid of them to try to attack us. Their numbers are tiny after the war."

"Maybe they were just lost, wandering, and got lucky. Let's always think positively." He shakes his head at me, and I smile at him. We race up the steps into the house. It has a wrap-around porch, and it's kind of cute. The whole house is almost an off- pink colour, all made of wood from the nearby trees, and the bricks on top match the stained wood. It's tiny inside but cosy, like a family home should be. We don't get a lot of space, but they gave me the attic room so I can get away from them sometimes.

Harry's father is a lovely person, but his Nexus mate is not. She doesn't like me, and I don't blame her. If I didn't pay my way—thanks to the big inheritance I have in bags of cash hidden in dozens of towns around England, France, and Spain—I would be kicked out by her in a heartbeat. I wouldn't like me either. On the second day I was here, she told me that her Nexus hated me and knew I was trouble.

She wasn't wrong.

After dinner, where I scoffed down an almost embarrassing amount of barbeque mini steak burgers and chilli salt fries, I head up to my room and lie back on the plush bed. The skylight is right above my bed, letting me have free rein to look over the stars when they appear later. It's only then do I let myself think about them, my Nexus mate bonds. I let myself imagine what they're doing, whether they're okay. I'd know if they were dead, but would I know if they're injured? Would I know if they're trapped? Would I know if they hate me? Duh, of course they hate me. Why wouldn't they?

Near immediately after I was gone, a price was put on my head. Two million to bring me in. Two million pounds for me, uninjured. I heard rumours that the price even went up after a few years, but my father…his gift kept me hidden. He could make people see things, and he used his power to make everyone see a normal human family when they looked at us. We became invisible as long as I was at his side. For the first two years, I was. The next two…well, I would have prayed for anyone to find me.

My Nexus mates haven't stopped looking for me. They won't stop.

But I can never, ever go to them. I curl my arm around my pillow as a wave of sadness slams into my chest. I don't know if my Nexus is sad or if I am, but I get the joy of feeling it all. Do they want to find me to kill me? I think I must fall asleep crying, because the next thing I know, it's dark out, pitch dark, and stars have burst across the sky. My door slams open and Harry flicks the light on, his hair sticking up in every direction like he just woke up himself. "Gwen, we need to leave. Wake up! Now! "

The panic in his voice aggravates my Nexus, and it wakes, watching from my one eye like a wolf watching prey. Fuck. Not now. Not Harry. No. It slowly slithers back into my mind, and I slowly breathe out a shaky breath. He grabs a rucksack off the back of the door and opens my drawers, throwing clothes into it in a hurry. "Harry, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Vian are here. They're killing them. There's too many. The alpha is dead and his family, too." He pauses to look at me. The alpha had four kids and twenty rangers to protect his house. My skin drains of colour. "Not just the Nexus…the humans. They're just…j-just draining the entire town."

That's what they do…but to drain an entire town? That is unheard of. To kill an alpha? That's rare. Alphas are the most powerful and rare Nexus among us, and they become the leaders for that reason. We feel safe around them, and there is usually an alpha in every Nexus town or small community. Why are they attacking us?

The Vian usually come in the night, because for whatever reason, they're more powerful then. They have one power—they drain people. They only need to touch the human or Nexus to drain them of their entire life. Humans, it takes them a second, but they don't get any power from them. They only do that to be cruel. But Nexus? When they get hold of us, they drain us for magic, and they not only take our life force, adding it to their own, but they take our powers as their own. The more powerful you are, the longer you can fight them off. An alpha should have taken hours to drain, and he should have been able to fight off any threat. If they drain even one or two of us, they become powerful and near enough immortal. Draining an alpha? That would make them stronger than they have been in years. Like their leader, who is said to have drained over ten thousand of us now and has lived for hundreds of years.

I quickly grab the clothes Harry throws my way and get changed in the bathroom. Simple black leggings and a crop top that has a picture of a sleeping ginger cat on it. I chuck on my favourite leather jacket and pull on my Ugg boots, a gift from Harry's dad for Christmas last year that I treasure.

Harry hands me the bag and rushes out, expecting me to follow, but I turn to the bed. I lift the sheets, finding the gap I cut months ago, and reach in until I touch the silver box and tug it out. It's the only other thing in here that matters. A box. A small, tiny box that fits in the palm of my hand and is completely silver with no lid, no markings or keyhole. I know it's a box because something rattles in it, but I don't have a clue how to open it. My mother gave it to me and told me never to open it unless I was going to die. She never gave me gifts growing up, no birthday or Christmas gifts because she didn't believe in it, but she gave me this.

I throw that in the bag last. Harry is at the bottom of the stairs, shoving bottles of water into his own backpack, and we run out the front door together, straight down to where the car is waiting. Harry's mum, June, is waiting outside the car, constantly looking around and tapping her foot on the ground. Her blonde hair is now grey, short, and cut round her face. Sometimes she reminds me of my mum, who always kept her hair short too. She frowns at me, but relief marks her blue eyes when she turns them to Harry. "Both of you, hurry up! You're going to get us all killed if we stay longer. Thank the Nexus Gods we live on the outskirts."

"Sorry, sorry," I mutter, climbing in the car after Harry, and she slams the door shut before getting in the front.

Macsen, Harry's dad, gives me a soft look. Macsen is Irish, covered in hair from his thick beard to his curly brown and grey locks of hair. He is ridiculously kind. My father wasn't a kind person, but I always wonder, if he didn't have my mother as his Nexus or a daughter like me, would he have been? Some of the stories Macsen tells me of my father seem like he is talking about another person altogether. "The important thing now is getting away from here. We are safe and let's all calm down."

June huffs, her eyes glowing blue with Nexus magic. She can connect to birds and spy, almost become them. "You're not seeing what I am, Mac. Drive, for Nexus' sake."

Macsen puts his foot down and speeds out of the driveway onto the back road that leads out of town. I clear my throat after ten minutes of the silent drive because I need to know what is happening. I have never lived in a world where I let someone make the decisions for me since I lost my parents. "What's the plan?"

June meets my eyes. "We're going to the meeting point with the survivors of the pack. The rangers there will keep us safe and make a plan for relocation. What else would we do, silly girl?"

Panic locks my body down, and I struggle to hold it together. "You have to let me out. I can't go to the meeting point with the rest of the pack! What if they recognise me?"

June mutters under her breath. "It's not all about you, Gwenieve."

Harry touches my shoulder, and I resist the urge to snap at him. "They won't. Put your hood up and hide behind us."

Mac clears his throat. "I'll tell them that you're a family friend that's staying with us. That you're human. I can barely sense your Nexus anyway, and I live with you. They won't look twice at you."

"But what if they do? What if they know who I am?" I snap. Hiding is one thing, but trusting a hood and my self-control when I'm scared is another. "My face is everywhere in our communities! No, just let me out and I'll run in the opposite direction."

Mac actually looks right at me. "What, with all the Vian out there?" He focuses on the road again. "We got messages through the system that there were at least a hundred, and they're draining the entire town to find us. You won't make it?—"

"No, but you don't und?—"

He interrupts me. Something he never does. "Your father was my best friend, and he made me swear to protect you if he couldn't. I'm not doing that to his memory, Gwen. You are all I have left of him now. The reward for you is old news, and not many out here would have ever seen a photo of your face. It will be okay. I promise." I grab the door handle, but it's locked, and panic wraps its claws around my heart as I sink back in the leather seat. His promises mean nothing.

This isn't going to end well. I have to run when they aren't looking, which should be easy enough. I know Mac means well, but he could get all the survivors killed.

We drive for half an hour in silence, only the occasional loud crickets chirping outside, the soft wind whipping past the car. Eventually, June feels like it's safe enough to turn the radio on, and a song about second chances plays, some hippie seventies music that June loves. I prefer Taylor Swift and anything she sings about heartbreak.

It's nearly sunrise by the time we turn onto an abandoned road, with a broken sign outside with camp written in Spanish on it. I sense the Nexus souls here immediately, like they are each playing their own drums, and I can feel the beat. The meeting spot is in the middle of the forest, and it once must have been a children's camp, but now it's full of rickety buildings, broken parks and deserted boats pulled up on the edge of the lake. A few cars are pulled up with their lights on, shining on a group by the boats.

June and Mac climb out first, and I pull my hood tightly around me, tucking my hair in underneath so it can't be seen, before getting out after Harry. Harry stays at my side as we head over, where there is a group of ten. Ten, that's all that's left.

Most of them are kids, but Beta Samuel is alive. Shame. He is a prick I've avoided for years. I've watched him from the shadows, and I know he isn't a good man. He regularly cheats on his Nexus, which is a disgusting thing to do when your Nexus can feel you getting off with someone else once you're bonded.

He comes over, looking between us and pushing Harry to the side. "Who is this? Did you bring a human with you?"

The disgust in his voice lingers as Mac tries to get in front of me, but it's too late. A heavy wind blows my hood off, my hair falling out around my hoodie as I come face to face with the beta. His mouth parts as he stares at me, and I know he is perfectly aware of who I am. Shit. "Pretend you didn't see me…please."

He grabs my hand and before I can say a word, his power washes over me like a drug. Literally like a drug spreading across my body. Even my monster doesn't get time to protect me because it is just as shocked. I slump into his waiting arms, hearing Mac and Harry shouting at Beta Samuel in my defence.

"This is Gwenieve Autumn, you fucking fool!" Beta Samuel snarls. "Everyone in the world has been looking for her! Do you know what you found? Do you know who her Nexus are?"

Beta Samuel doesn't know I lived with Mac. Good. They might be safe. I fight the darkness pressing into my mind, pulling me under like a strong current in the sea. Please, this can't be happening. I have to fight. I can't be taken to them. I can't let the monster have them. Please, please… "We'll be allowed in the capital if we take her in. We will get the money and protection. She is a fucking golden ticket."

Darkness sweeps me under, with one thought lingering in my head. I'm a ticket to hell, perhaps, because when they take me to the capital…they are risking my monster destroying everything.