19 Kikila

I can't stop thinking about the heated ridges on Rowkin's cock or the way he swelled and stiffened when his skin changed as I sucked him off. I'm so deep in thought that I walk right past someone who's watching me from the balcony. It only hits me when I hear them call my name. I stop, backtrack.

My father stands with Roan and a team of four guards just outside, talking.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Roan smiles and looks away. "Told you she'd be pissed."

I give him a playfully annoyed look. "For real, Dad."

"After all the trouble this week, the federation decided to up patrols. He steps toward me. "Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"Why don't you just come home, and we can forget about all of this?" he asks.

"No. not interested."

"Why not?"

"All I wanted was to be normal for once. I am so tired of people watching me all day every day. There's no privacy. I have nothing that is mine when everything is recorded everywhere.

"I want my own memories. I want my own tech. I want to help with my own power, like Mom did. But Draeke even stole the engine design from my private, hidden ship!"

Pain tenses his face. "I wish your mother could see you today. She would be so proud of you."

I wish he would get to the point. "I need to get ready for the ceremony. Can we please get this over with?"

My father looks hurt as he leans back and rests on the railing. Even Roan sighs and takes a step away to give us some space.

"After I lost your mother, Kiki, I lost my confidence and my ability to trust anyone."

"Except Draeke."

"He came highly recommended from the Federation. So now I have some investigating to do. He installed a lot of our security systems."

"He didn't. His minions did. Draeke took the credit."

My father curses under his breath. "When you have time, we need to discuss everything you know. I just wanted to say that this whole time, your entire life, I've been desperately trying to protect you."

"Is that what you call it? Because it was suffocating."

He held up a hand. "I'm sorry. When you have children of your own, you will understand the compulsion to protect."

I huff. "I'm going to let them grow without restraint."

He chewed a lip and hung his head. "I realized recently that you didn't need protecting. You're capable of doing it yourself and forming your own alliances to achieve what seems impossible.

"I'm proud of you. And I'm sorry I held you back. You are all I have that means anything in this world. My duty to our world does not and never will come before you."

"Sometimes—" I start.

"It seemed like it, I'm sure." He looks away. "Our roles often ask a lot of us. But that does not mean that I forget about you when I'm on patrols or working through new contracts with businesses and the government."

"What do you know of Rowkin's kind?" I ask.

"They're hard-hitters in battle but have had to put a lot of their resources toward bolstering their defenses. The Nebulous Empire has surged in strength recently. With the help of a recent discovery by General Vitus, we uncovered shield and weapons technology of a black market dealer, named Faerlin, who has been supplying the empire. We're still digging into the situation. But it would be useful to have a contact on the outer rim."

"Are you hiring me?" I ask, half-teasing.

"No, but should you choose to marry him, then his homeworld would like you to be the liaison."

Rowkin joins us. "It's almost time. Are you ready?"

I look to my father and feel only regret. "Security has Mom's necklace."

"I know. I thought I'd lost you. Then I realized Draeke was tracking you, too. That's when I finally let go. This is your life, Kiki. I am getting too old to protect you. You need someone more capable."

Rowkin offers my father his hand. "I will protect her with my life."

"I know you will. You and your brothers are honorable soldiers." My father straightens and folds both hands over his chest, where Alustri hearts lay beneath their ribs. "I am honored to have your offer of bonding for my daughter. I humbly step back from my duty to protect her and will refrain from any interference in your bond."

Rowkin's growing smile makes me more comfortable with my father's odd behavior. "You studied our bonding rites?"

"I cannot be at your ceremony back on your planet. I must remain here to deal with the recent Novark attack."

"They're misunderstood, Dad." I say. "Draeke filtered communications so he could manipulate tech markets and rake in more money for himself. They're struggling against the Nebs just like the rest of us."

"Their tempers—"

"Make them worthwhile adversaries," Rowkin defends. "As much as I hate them for starjacking the love of my life, I understand the desperation they feel to protect their families."

My father's rendered speechless for several seconds. He paces away a few steps, then returns to us. "Okay. I'll see what I can do."

Rowkin takes my hand and kisses the back of it. "Best go change. I would like to discuss the Novark more with your father for just a moment. He will need to get in touch with my planet's leaders. I'll see you up there in an hour?"

I smile, then I turn to my father. "Rowkin saved my life when no one else came. Do not harm him, or I will never forgive you, and I will never return home again."

My father's eyes fill with tears. "I have done wrong by you, Kikila. For that I am sorry. But I will never apologize for trying to protect you however I could. We cannot see the lies beneath until they rear their ugly nature. And by then it is usually too late."

I give Rowkin a wary glance. But he nods, so I take my leave and my final look at my father, who had only tried to protect me. Perhaps, one day, I will forgive him and invite him to our homita for dinner.

The thought makes me smile a little.

Our homita.