14 Kikila

I meet Rowkin at the hangars the next morning. He's dressed in a fresh uniform but wears an expression of discontent.

"Morning."

His eyes dance over the ships around us and the Race participants that load into them.

When he doesn't reply, I check his skin. It ripples slowly, and I know something isn't right. He doesn't like it.

I run through my typical vulnerability assessment of the ships and check the logs on my race wristband that lists all the security vessels that will be escorting us.

"You don't want to go?" I ask.

"I have seen more space than I care to speak of," he remarks. "Especially recently."

I consider how he must be feeling after our return to the complex. "Then let's stay. They have other things we can do."

His gaze travels to me, climbs my body, finds my eyes, then falls away again. "I will do whatever you want. If you wish to go on the tour, we can. But you won't see any of the planets in our solar systems because of the empire's presence. So it would just be to see others. And I can show them to you any time."

It's clear he doesn't like the idea of the space tour. I take him by the hand and lead him back into the station. "Come on. We've missed out on a lot. Let's make up for some lost time."

Rowkin's hand tightens around mine. A hovering camera drone leaves the hangar to follow us. I don't care. If anyone causes any trouble, at least it will be on video.

I lead Rowkin down several levels to the wildlife tour. I'm curious what's on his planet and what he thinks of Earth's creatures.

Cages with glass viewing windows line the winding hallway, exposing animal and insect life from solar systems throughout the federation, including a few from the planet of Novarek, Denars, and others not yet part of our united nations.

We reach Earth's section first, and Rowkin slows. He seems most entranced by the ones that make me squirm. "Scorpions look like something we have," he says distantly. "Got stung once as a boy, protecting my sister from a nest that had formed in our backyard. Swelled up like a pompita." He chuckles then motions to another cage with little brown birds. "You have tili?"

"Birds? Yeah." I'm confused. "You don't?"

He shakes his head and waves me past the rows of creatures from Anlatom and Ethariol homeworlds to the section labeled Alustri. "Something similar."

The creatures that flutter in the large glass cage look more like large dragonflies with pulsing colors that shift depending on where they land.

Rowkin motions to the cage with the deep red scorpion-like crawlers with the three smaller stingers on its tail.

"Lovely."

He shrugs. "Adaptations. Our environment is not quite like yours."

"Care to show me now?" I ask. "Everyone else will be back in a few hours, but we are permitted in the simulator."

Rowkin guides me past the rest of the cages. A window thumps with little feet. I jolt back in surprise as a thing called a ripwing glares out at us and hisses.

He chuckles and points to it as we walk out. "Those are not my favorite. But if you cover yourself in wiltweed oil, they won't touch you. It stinks and doesn't want to come off for a week, but it's better than getting mauled by their teeth and claws. They're very territorial."

"Where all have you been?" I ask as we leave the wildlife area behind and walk through the atrium toward the simulator complex.

Rowkin guides me to a bench and encourages me to sit on the cushions beside him. As I join him, he guides my body closer until our hips brush. The way he blinks slowly and tension leaves his body tells me he's comforted by my presence. It means more than I can put words to, to know he needs me.

He rests a hand on a glass dome beside the bench and rotates it. Overhead, the atrium fills with the light of projected planets and star systems. "We go everywhere. We help everyone we can. Hilsheman is this stunning green planet in the middle of a nebula we call Orpheus. They have tili with wingspans that you couldn't believe until you have ridden one yourself."

"That big?" I gasp.

He nods. "I never wanted to leave, but we had another mission in the Tyftos system. Denarso had destroyed a munitions depot on their third moon." The schematic of the cosmos overhead shifts and rotates slowly until it exposes a yellow and red planet with five moons in a glittering belt of crystals. "Denarso weren't the real threat, of course. They were all caught off guard by the empire. And as much as everyone was frustrated with the Denarso for trying to break alliances between the Tyftos and the Klaphos, not far from my homeworld, we all had to work together to push back the shadow soldiers."

"Tyftos and Klaphos were united?" I ask. "Against Denarso?"

He inhales deeply and looks off into the distance, and I know he's thinking back to the battles he's been in. I've seen the same look in my father's eyes enough times to know. "We all were because Denarso are like Novarks. Their home planet became consumed by the empire in the early days of the war because they didn't have the technology or numbers to fight them off. It's why we were quick to join the federation, the three of us. We have weapons and warriors, but not the shields or the masses of ships that you all have."

His eyes widen. "That's not to say our planets aren't safe. We have city shields. We would not be allowed in the race here if our world was flagged. And it is much safer now with Nytheralian shields and the light weapons."

He tenses beside me, and all I want to do is reassure him that I'm not scared of a new life. "I've spent my whole life under watch because of exceptional threats due to my position." I run a hand over his muscled back in a comforting motion.

Rowkin shudders and tilts closer toward me. "It is not easy to be with a soldier in our area of the galaxy."

"Every world is at war with the Nebulous Empire, Denarso, and Novarks," I offer. "We just have different levels of threat. But there is no escape, which we both just learned."

He rotates the three-dimensional star charts and shows me several other planets, moons, and nebulae he's fought in.

"What's your specialty?" I ask. "Sniper? Star jumper? Pilot?"

His skin brightens. "My teammates lead others in every manner of assault. We train in everything on multiple planets in our cluster of solar systems. There's no telling what might be asked of us in any given battle. We are members of a collective force, though we have our home stations that always take priority."

Rowkin releases the globe and rests his hand in his lap. I can tell he's worried about the planets that slowly spin above us.

"Why did you sign up?" I ask. "It sounds like you're operating at your maximum. I mean, I've regularly heard conflict updates from the planetary systems. I know you're all taxed. It's why I've been working hard to redesign shields."

He nuzzles the side of my face and draws in my scent with lust. "There are some things that even the toughest soldiers I've trained with can't ignore. The Rev is not just used for mating on our planet. It has been called a monster by others. But it is a compulsive, instinctual need to protect. Some of us, especially those of warrior bloodlines, have a stronger animal inside. We are just, by blood, born to fight. The Rev is an essential part of Alustri development.

"It is also why my kind are dying off. Those of us who are strongest are often the ones who leave to protect the planet. If I do not find and acquire the one, my heartbeats will remain out of sync for eternity. With my mate, I can achieve my full potential."

"What does it feel like?" I dare ask.

"My body heats. My hearts start to sync." He grumbles. "But I cannot lie that I have had regrets coming here because of the war. I want to give my mate a safe, comfortable home. But I realized that I won't be with her as much as she deserves. My sister reminded me of that."

I shoulder bump him. "Safe is boring."

He eyes me with a hesitant smile. "Come. Let's see if you even like my planet."

Rowkin leads me into the simulator complex. In the center is a long corridor filled with doors. He opens one to the right and exposes a red and brown landscape with maroon trees and fields of tall golden grasses. The door swishes shut behind us. "Show City of Emfai."

The environment melts into the floor and a new one is etched to life by a grid of lights. The city that rises around us, sheltered by a blue envirodome, sparkles with pearlescent buildings and pale green chrome ships.

"Is this your home?" I ask. "In the city?"

He releases me to walk through the display and further back in the room. "Yes. My sister Lanika cares for our home in this tower here. Families live together so they can protect each other."

I follow his large hand to one of the tallest spires in the city, and I start to doubt he's just a soldier. It looks like a glass castle.

"I am rarely there. I am usually on a ship or fighting in a field somewhere." Rowkin changes the scenery again to a deep violet lake surrounded by blue, rocky hills.

"Any chance I could go with you instead?"

Rowkin's eyes slide to my body. "Females are also soldiers unless they are carrying younglings. Then they remain in the guarded towers, the homitas.

"These lakes are all over my planet. We do not have oceans like you. But we have these deep chasms that are filled with water."

In the same image, I see a brown patch in the background. Rowkin tracks my eyes and closes the visual.

"What's that?"

He tucks his hands behind him. "Shadow soldiers are scorching our fields. They take our root vegetables and then—" He hesitates.

I know this. I've encountered it before. "They burn everything else."

"Yes. How did you know?"

I walk to where he hunkers back against the rear wall of the room like he's afraid of my reaction. "Do you have high concentrations of Arethinum in your soil?"

"Yes. It is why Rasvine causes so many non Alustri to take on traits of our kind when they have been on our planet for some time."

"That is a critical element to the weapons that the empire uses. It is a source of fuel for weapons and ships, but also shields. That's what I was testing when I encountered the Novarks a year ago."

Rowkin's wariness shifts to something of curiosity. "You're telling me that we have the critical material needed to build shields for ourselves on our own planet?"

"Yes. And I would be happy to help make that happen."

"You— You want to help?"

"Absolutely."

Rowkin urgently cups my face in a palm, admires me for a moment, then kisses me hard. When he leans back to steal a breath, he calls to the computer. "Render soffire meadow. Three dimensions. Lock door."

The floor rises and takes a soft, rolling shape. The door blinks red, showing no entry permitted. Rowkin collects me by the hips and crushes me against the wall. His lips find my neck, and I'm met with a view over his shoulder of clusters of the large dragonflies above fields of red flowers, a golden sun in the sky, and a light breeze that sends the meadow rippling like his skin.

Rowkin's hands roam my body with crazed need, lighting my core with fiery desire to be filled with him. His erection digs into my mound as he pressed me against the wall and grinds into me. I reach down and run a hand between us and over his cock. The sheer size of him is impressive and has me frantic to be free of our clothes so I can feel all of him.

Then he carries me out across the rolling land and lays me down in the middle of the field. His muscled body is a crushing weight that stirs a delicious hunger for more. Rowkin supports the back of my head in a hand and opens my suit with his other, then buries his face between my breasts. His deep inhale and growl make my pussy tense.

His skin tenses and ripples. His cock pulses to the beat of his hearts as it swells.

He rolls us over so that I'm on top of him, kissing me with force. Then he simply lies back and stares up at me for a long breath. "I want you, Kikila. My Rev wants you. But I will not take you until I know you wish to bond with me. I want to be certain."

I am certain. But the hesitation in his eyes says he isn't. I have to find a way to convince him. I make quick work of his top, freeing it from his war-toned contours. Eager for a taste, I run my tongue up the mounds of his abs and over his chest.

Rowkin's skin ripples faster, and his heartbeats become palpable through his red-violet flesh. He shudders and tenses.

"Is that enough of an answer?" I tease.

His fingers dig into my thighs, and he rolls me beneath him again, raking his teeth down my neck. He rips my bra down and draws a breast into his mouth for a long suckle. His tongue swirls over me. He nips at my bud then suckles me hard as his fingers snake their way down the front of my suit. He grows irritated by the zipper.

Rowkin releases me to tear my suit open with both hands. He lets out a triumphant rumble and eagerly grinds his body atop mine. The way his chest rakes over my nipples has me breathless from the heat of his firm flesh.

His tongue travels south until he's freed my panties and found my delicate flesh with his lips. His teeth graze my clit, evoking a titillating high that makes me desperate to feel him bury himself deep, fill me, stretch me—complete me.

"Please," I beg. "This teasing is driving me crazy."

Rowkin's breathing grows haggard. He growls and sways, inches closer then stops. He frees himself, and I get a glimpse of his massive, erect, red shaft and wonder if I've lost my mind. He lowers himself and it stirs a powerful desperation that makes me claw at him.

His hot cock bumps my clit. I try to wiggle myself over him, but Rowkin rumbles a deep note in pain. "Kikila, I am losing control of the Rev. I can't take you yet."

"Why not?"

"I am—scared." He backs off. "You are not safe from other males yet, not even me. I'm afraid I'll hurt you."

"Please," I whine. A bead of pre-cum drips from his tip, rolling down my aching flesh.

Someone comes over the speakers, calling into the room. "Miss Amali, are you okay? We are registering that Alustri has locked you into the room."

Rowkin's nostrils flare. "I broke protocol."

"I don't care." I just want him inside me. Now.

He shakes his head. "My hearts are falling out of sync. It isn't right. Something isn't right. "

"What do you mean?" I gasp, my core cramping with the lack of release.

He sits up and tucks himself back in his pants then grinds a palm into his chest. "I am different from other Alustri."

"Rowkin," another voice calls inside.

Frustrated, I sit up and slip back into my race uniform. "What now?"

"That's my teammate," he says. "I am going through a dualcardiac arrhythmia." Rowkin gasps. "I don't know how to stop it."

I brace his shoulders and look him in the eyes. There's fear there and something more. Doubt, maybe. "Rowkin, I'm here."

The room unlocks. The floor sinks until it lies flat and cold beneath my boots again. Another Alustri charges in with a medical team. "We need to get him to the infirmary."

Rowkin growls and says he isn't going anywhere without me.

Someone guides me away from him and out of the room by a hand. "Miss Amali. Miss Amali!"

"What?" I growl.

She jumps back. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." I snort. "What is wrong with him?"

Ohni lifts a tablet and scrolls a window open. "His species has an internal set of instincts that are more of a distinguishable entity than ours. Our reflexes and subconscious are facets of us, but theirs are all consuming."

"Yeah, yeah. Get the point," I mutter, watching the medical team cluster around my mate, the male that found me and brought me back to safety.

"Let's just say their Rev is like a two-engine, bilateral transport," Ohni continues. "When it revs up, the motors in sync, it is a powerful, fast ship. When the motors are out of sync, it can lead to unbalanced thrust and send the ship in circles."

"But we were just going to, you know—" I say. "I was ready."

" He wasn't ready to bond." The woman sighs. "His Rev was, but he wasn't. We've seen it more frequently due to the increase in war-torn planets. My guess is he's burdened by guilt that he wants you, so he isn't fully giving in to mating with you."

"What can I do to fix that?"

She pockets her tablet. "He needs to see the dedication of a forever mate to know you won't run when you see his homeworld and the challenges it presents. It seems the only way to dissuade the guilt they feel is to prove that we are not afraid."

"And here I thought the race was to give me a better life of freedom and stability," I mumble.

"It is. If he isn't it, then you can walk away." Ohni grimaces. "Though, I fear that one might not make it if you reject him. He's one of the one-mate species we have in the games. While not all are bonded by the end, most are. Anyway, best let those who can help him have their space."

She touches my arm and motions me back toward the women's quarters. "After your long trip, it might be good to get some rest yourself. I'll keep you updated."

"Thank you." I peek inside the room to see the other Alustri in soldier's armor adhering a modified set of AED probes for Rowkin's two hearts over his chest. Rowkin tenses then breathes heavily and nods. Soon after, the medical team hovers him out on a stretcher. His eyes roll around. Dangling from his hand is my necklace. He clutches it like it's a lifeline.

I press a hand to my bare chest and wonder when it came off. The idea that he clings to that piece of me makes it impossible to be mad at him for stopping us before our bonding. He needs me even if he isn't ready.

The other Alustri male glances at me as he passes. "He needs a night of rest. Then you can see him if you wish."

"Yes, thank you." I watch them disappear into an elevator, anguished by the bleak condition of my rescuer. I want to go with them. They want me to give him space.

They know his kind best, so I head to my room to clean up and wait for an update on Rowkin. It's strange to see him crumble under some invisible problem when just a day ago he had been shot by a Novark with no damage to his flesh.

It exposes the truth I have hidden from for a long time. My shield designs on ships and planets have protected many, but some things just require a little more heart. I can't keep running from my problems. I need to face them. And I need to fight for what matters most to me, for once.