CHAPTER 9

VENUS

This was the second time my face had been held today … by two different guys.

What on earth was my life?

And why was this all happening to me at once?

I couldn't help but lean into Griffin's touch, the tiny sparks flaring to life along our joined skin. I waited for the guilt that had plagued me earlier with River's loving touches to hit me … but it never came.

What the fuck did that mean?

I didn't know what any of this meant anymore. What to make of it.

Fuck, Griffin's choosing you. That's what it meant.

I had this whole plan to talk to him. To smooth things over, make sure things weren't weird and try to salvage our friendship. But this meant that he didn't want to just be friends. That he didn't want to be casual anymore either?

He wanted more with me. A relationship. Something that I thought was so out of reach when it came to this enigma of a man.

Yet he was willing to try now.

And I had this other guy—one that I'd loved my whole life—waiting for me no more than a quarter mile away. One that had assumed that now that things weren't as messed up as they had seemed, and that we had vowed honesty, meant that we were on our way to mending our broken relationship. And if we were being honest, after being back, I had somewhat assumed the same.

I had never thought that Griffin would come for me. Even though he had told me before that he would. After that rogue attack, he explicitly told me that he'd always come for me. I just thought that I had blown it and that his hurt would outweigh that promise he'd unknowingly made.

This—Griff and I—had been my new normal. This was what my life consisted of for the last couple of months. And I had loved it. Loved every minute with him.

And having him here, seeing him come for me, felt pretty damn perfect.

But I couldn't make this decision. Not yet.

I was having to deal with this all a lot sooner than I'd anticipated.

Now that they were both in the same place, I would talk to them and make things right on both sides. Weigh it all up and then make a clear-cut decision.

But what did I want?

Did I want to start things back up with River? Give him a second chance and this new, honest, relationship a real go? Didn't I owe him that much?

Or did I want what Griffin was finally offering me? A chance at a real relationship with a guy that had rocked my world and helped shape this new and improved me?

A few weeks ago, shit, even a week ago, that was all I wanted.

But right now? Right now I had no idea what to do with any of this.

Old Venus would want to run away. And while I was sure as hell not doing that, I did need time to sort through everything. I needed to give them both a chance to show me that they were not just saying pretty words that I wanted to hear.

Griffin had always said he couldn't do this. Couldn't be a boyfriend. If that had changed, he needed to prove it.

I knew there were moments when it felt like more. Even when Kit was gushing about us that last night at the club before shit hit the fan, he never denied what she had implied about our … relationship—or whatever it was. He never denied that there was something more that developed between us—not since that time on the couch when he said he didn't believe in promises. Not that he'd denied what existed between us then either, he'd just said he wanted to exist as we were. Come to think about it, not even when I left had he stated otherwise; had he denied this thing between us. This thing that was so clearly more.

But Sienna's words rang through me:

"He's clearly very capable of throwing a girl away."

"He gets bored."

"Don"t be surprised when he"s eventually done with you."

So that's what I took him walking away as. I assumed he was done. And even though he was back now, those words rang through me. They probably always would.

And Riv … Riv was so used to shielding and protecting me from everything to my own detriment—and his. He needed to show me that he could trust me, open up to me and also now find a way to let me be a Knight. I mean, could that even work? A Knight and a wolf?

My parents had done it, but they'd escaped their respective people to do so.

So much to think about.

We walked back to the pack house in silence, similarly to the way we had walked to this spot. Griffin knew I was overthinking things in my head. We hadn't known each other for that long, yet I felt like he knew me pretty damn well. And he let me do so—the overthinking—while he remained a few steps behind me, no doubt watching my back as I once again picked my way through the trees and uneven forest floor.

When we returned, I found Skylar sitting on the step of the porch, waiting for us. She immediately stood as we neared, Griffin stopping closer to his car to give us a moment.

"Are you all good?" Sky asked, striding to me and grabbing my hands.

I gave her a tired look. "Yep, I'm good. It's just been a morning. We're going to head back to my house and figure out what his being back means in terms of the Knights and how this is all going to work."

Sky nodded in understanding. "I've just mind-linked Riv to come and say bye," she said. Her blue eyes held mine with a hint of concern. But then she smiled at me and her gaze flickered to the hunter that was leaning against his black Jeep, no doubt staring her down with an unfriendly gaze. Or alternatively checking her out. With my back to him, I couldn't tell. And right now I didn't fully care.

"So that's Griffin, huh?"

I dared a quick look back at him. He was looking down, seemingly bored. But as if he sensed my stare, his eyes snapped to mine and he watched me unflinchingly with that usual intensity of his. He smirked at my attention.

I turned back to Sky and nodded. "That's Griffin."

"Mmm. I see the appeal," she chuckled lightly and I felt the warmth return to my face. Just two girls talking about an extremely attractive guy. It gave me hope that somehow we could make this weird combination of people work.

Giving her a pleading look, I sighed, "I have no idea what I'm going to do."

She squeezed my hand, a reassuring gesture, but when she opened her mouth to respond, she was cut off by the door flinging open behind her. She took a step back and let River rush towards me.

I heard the car door open and close and without even turning around I already knew that Griffin had gotten in his car at the first sign of River's presence. I supposed it was better than the alternative: him trying to attack again.

Riv grabbed my shoulders, looking me up and down as if he was trying to see if I was harmed at all. As if Griffin would ever harm me.

The motion was calm and unhurried, even when I knew it killed him and he was trying to hold in his panic and fear. Trying not to smother me.

"Is everything okay?" he finally asked when he was satisfied that I was physically unharmed. His large hand cupped my check lovingly. Another tender face hold.

I reached my hand up to touch his reassuringly.

"Everything is fine, Riv. There's no need to worry. I'm sorry that our conversation got cut-off earlier, but we will continue it. I promise."

He looked at me with unyielding softness and understanding. "It's okay, Vee. We've got nothing but time," he said gently.

I nodded. "Griffin's going to be around for a while. He's come earlier than the task force but will likely be leading it."

I'd tell him about Griff's declaration later, when we didn't have an audience. Axel and Zander were standing in the doorway now too, the latter with his arms crossed and a menacing look directed towards the car and the hunter I knew was in it. I tried not to flinch at the animosity that seemed to be rolling off the Beta in waves. "Griff needs somewhere to stay so I'm going to take him back to my place and sort it all out with mum. We better head off. I'm sorry. I'll catch up with you tomorrow, okay?"

I felt him visibly stiffen but he seemed to shake it off. He pulled me into him, a slightly protective grip on my waist as he gave me a goodbye kiss on the cheek.

"If you need me, I'll be there in a heartbeat. Just give me a call."

Griffin beeped impatiently, a glare levelled at River.

Zander replied with a not so friendly finger directed at him. I rolled my eyes with a sigh. This was going to be fun. The testosterone levels were getting suffocating already. And a quick glance at Sky confirmed she felt it too.

"I'll be fine," I promised, pulling away. "I'll see you tomorrow. For the pack meeting."

He nodded.

I tried to ignore the stares from my wolf friends as I rounded the waiting car and jumped into the passenger seat beside my other friend.

"Ready to go home?" He said ‘home' pointedly. Like he was taking us to our place and making sure to claim that the pack house was not my home.

I didn't bother correcting him or telling him otherwise. "Let's go."

The ten-minute drive to my house was essentially a tour of the town I grew up in.

When we drove through the town centre, Griff snuck glances in my direction. "So, who exactly do I need to punish for making you feel like shit with all their gossiping? I haven't forgotten the hurt they caused you with their childish rumours."

"Like I said, I'm still trying to protect the people of this town. No matter how much stupid gossip they spin."

"Yeah, yeah. I know." He flashed his teeth in a quick grin before he added, "but that doesn't mean I can't scare a soccer mum or two."

"What is your fascination with soccer mums?" I shot back.

He shrugged, the gesture so normal. "I've never seen one. They seem like a myth."

I didn't bother to cover up the laugh that escaped me. But I did attempt to distract him by pointing out all my favourite spots.

He looked at everything with such foreign intrigue. I knew it was so different to the city he grew up in and although he pretended that he didn't like my silly little town—that it was too small and mundane for someone like him—I saw the little flicker of pleasure in his grey eyes as he took it all in. The families and kids and smiling people that went about their business with comfort and friendly ease among each other—so unlike the harsher, solitary lifestyle of the city.

When we pulled up to my driveway and he took in the white weatherboard two-story house, old yet modest, with vines growing up the front facade, his only response was, "Cute."

It reminded me so much of the day we met. When he'd said that about my name—a name he still never seemed to use.

But now, rather than annoy the crap out of me and cause offence and irritation, I knew him enough to know that it meant he liked it. Maybe even liked it a lot. And his feigned indifference was something that I now found disturbingly charming.