CHAPTER 30

VENUS

Iwas having one of those days. Those days where no one and nothing could get through the emotionally unavailable stupor I was in. I was drained, mentally and physically. And I woke up irritable and unapproachable, which was clear to everyone that currently occupied the Stone household from the moment I descended the stairs.

One look at my face told Celeste and my mother not to bother me. They'd seen me in this state before. Being a house full of women, we basically took turns when it came to our moods.

With everything that was going on, I couldn't pinpoint the exact source of my sadness and unease. Nor my irritation.

I was likely PMSing.

Whatever the reason, I was illogically mad this morning. I couldn't remember if it was a dream—or nightmare—that had triggered the mood, or if it was just plain and simply the fact that our life was still in a state of limbo.

There was no progression. With anything.

River and I had been spending more and more time together, and while everything felt great when I was with him, I kept coming home feeling somewhat melancholy. After weeks of it, it was taking its toll.

Things with Griffin … I didn't know what was happening with Griffin. I had weirdly always found him a strong support system and with this time and proximity, that was only growing. I almost depended on his unwavering presence.

We flirted. He was always there for me. But I knew he was leaving the ball in my court.

I didn't want the stupid ball.

And frankly, I was no closer to making a decision.

Neither were we any closer to figuring out the motive behind the rogue army. And the Harvest Moon was just over a week away.

We knew that a handful of newly turned wolves were being kept as shifters, Amelia included, and if the last full moon was anything to go by, that gave us the advantage we needed to keep the rogues at bay from turning any more humans … at least in our region and the surrounding packs. And thankfully, the pack was quite successful in reaching others and growing our support network, slowly working their way across the country. The wolves had been rotating in and out of Saint Claire for months now and their efforts had been paying off. Those packs were all on high alert now and when this inevitable final battle happened, they'd be ready to aid us when we called. So at least that was going right.

But we still didn't know the why—why any of this was happening in the first place.

If I had to take a guess, I'd say all of that combined was what put me in a foul mood.One that Griffin hadn't really had the privilege of experiencing firsthand yet and in such close proximity. But staying with us, it was almost inevitable that he'd be in my firing range.

"Morning," I grumbled as I entered the kitchen.

Griff was at the stove, cooking something up that smelt annoyingly delicious. Almost as delicious as his muscled arms and back that were on display in his black tank top.

Mum and Celeste both gave me an uneasy look as they took in my demeanour. "Morning, darling." My mother's voice was tentative and cautious, yet still warm and loving.

The attractive male, whose presence seemed to eat up the air in our small kitchen, turned his head towards mine and gave me a wink. "Morning."

Seeing him being so domestic seemed to trigger me further. Is this what it would be like? If I chose him. Would this be what Griffin as a boyfriend would look like? Like those days we spent in his apartment at the compound together.

"You don't need to keep making breakfast. You know you've already won this lot over." The words that came out of my mouth were blunt and gruff as I gestured towards my mum and sister.

"Yeah, I'm just going to make myself scarce," Celeste remarked as she slipped off the breakfast stool, passing Griff to refill her mug of coffee.

Griffin chuckled. "You know I enjoy cooking. Besides, it seems like someone's a tad hangry. You could probably use the breakfast."

My sister's face crumpled in concern for the Knight. She patted him on the arm and muttered "Goodluck" before she disappeared down the hall and back up the stairs.

"I don't need you to feed me. I'm perfectly capable of handling that on my own."

He plated up the food and handed one to my mother.

A vibration came from the counter, a call lighting up her phone.

"Thank you for the food, Griffin," she acknowledged before turning to me. "Venus, be nice," she scolded, and then excused herself to answer the call in her study.

Then there were two.

"I know exactly what you're capable of, Supernova." His eyes bore into me. "You're more than capable of doing a lot of things. I just happen to like feeding you." He leaned his back against the counter, arms crossed as he took me in. His lips tilted in a smile edged with anticipation, like he was excited to verbally spar with me as he said, "God knows why."

I continued to glare at him but couldn't find the words to reply. I didn't know what to say.

He looked concerned at my lack of response.

"What's going on?" His brows knitted together.

"Nothing."

"Do you want to let it out? We can go out the back and hit the boxing bags. Hell, I'll even let you hit me."

I suppressed a smile, forcing the corners of my mouth down. "Hitting you sounds great."

The thought of the control that came from sparring, sounded like exactly what I needed right now. Getting in a few punches against him was just a bonus that I was sure could only improve my mood.

He laughed and the sound flitted through me, easing my frustration ever so slightly—another thing I hated.

Then he grabbed two pieces of bacon and cleared the space between us. Holding them out to me, he offered me one with a raised brow. I reluctantly took it.

Biting a chunk out of his own, he nodded towards the door to the garden. "After you, Supernova."

Within minutes I was throwing all my pent-up energy and frustration into the boxing bag under the porch, Griff holding it in place from behind so it didn't swing uncontrollably at the force of my hits.

It felt good.To let out the rage that boiled inside me.

I was angry at the stupid, fucking rogues for putting us in this situation.

But more than that, I was angry at myself.

For not figuring anything out. For not making a decision. For not knowing who to choose and not wanting to make that decision in the first place because I was too scared to hurt someone I cared deeply about.

It had been a couple of months now. And yet, I wouldn't let myself consider my options for long enough to actually make a choice. Because of that fear of hurting one of them.

So instead, I kept them both at arm's length. I wasn't giving either one a real chance. Not letting them truly penetrate that wall I'd put up.

Part of me felt like I didn't deserve them. None of them. Especially after stringing them both along.

Maybe I was better off alone. Maybe they were better off without me. Maybe I needed to focus on the bigger picture.

I hit the bag harder.

"Want to switch to me?" Griffin's words cut through my flow, grounding me back to the present moment.

"If you're offering," I shrugged.

"I can handle it." His grin dazzled in the sunlight. So, I pulled my gaze away from the heart-wrenching site, readying my stance instead.

We moved into the easy rhythm that felt so natural between us. Our breathing puffed and laboured within minutes.

"Thank you," I found myself saying. "I needed this."

My hits didn't cease as I spoke but Griff took me off guard and somehow pushed me against the wall of the house, pinning me to it with my arm above my head. He gave me a look to suggest I wasn't paying attention, but he didn't reprimand me with words.

Instead, with his mouth dangerously close to my neck, he just said, "I aim to please, Supernova."

Warm air from his breath made the hair on my skin raise and for a quick moment, knowing he couldn't see my face with his own crooked into that crevice, I soaked it in, closing my eyes and biting my lip.

Holding back a silent moan.

Taking in a deep breath.

Cherishing the moment of closeness between us that we'd avoided for a while now.

He seemed to inhale too, as if he could breathe me in. Draw in more of me. Like that would satiate him for now.

He sighed against the column of my neck and then let me go, pulling back and putting distance between us again. Not too much, but enough that I wasn't lost to the feel of him anymore. Enough that we were no longer touching.

I tried to regain my composure, taking off my boxing gloves and then rubbing my wrists.

"Being your friend is torture. It's almost impossible, after what I've had with you. After the connection that's built between us." He breathed out the words as he took his gloves off too, depositing them on the outdoor rack against the wall before resuming his position in front of me.

His eyes roamed my body, not bothering to hide the gesture. "I'll keep trying. But it's not fucking easy, Venus. It's not easy to not be able to touch you every time you're near. To pull you close to me and wrap my fingers in that hair. It's not easy to keep my distance. But I'll try." His grey eyes seemed to darken like a looming storm. "I'm not him though. It's always been more than a normal friendship between us. I'll try. If that's what you need. I just want you to know this is the hardest fucking thing I've had to do. Things usually come easy to me. But not this. I'm trying every second I'm with you and every second I'm not."

He licked his lips and rolled the bottom one into his mouth, as if he needed to moisten them to help get the words out.

For once, it didn't seem sexual. It was the closest thing to a frustrated or anxious gesture I'd seen him make.

"If you don't pick me, I'll eventually master being your friend without wanting to rip your clothes off and explore every inch of your body with my tongue. But fuck. You're a hard girl to not think of."

I let his words wash over me. Let myself mull over what he was saying. Let myself consider … for once, I let myself actually consider.

If I did pick him, what would happen?

Would he get bored, like Sienna suggested? Her words from the club alley still sometimes echoed in my mind.

Would he walk away when he eventually got tired?

Didn't I have to guard my heart with him?