11. Sage

CHAPTER 11

Sage

Was that what was happening to me? Were those strange marks compelling me to have sex?

I wanted to be with Fantasy man again and again and had been disappointed that I hadn’t seen him last night which wasn’t like me at all. I’d also been turned on when Crane had touch the marks on my neck even though everything within me told me he was dangerous.

I’d thought that was because Talon had used his magic on me and awakened my desires, but maybe my heightened sexual need wasn’t his magic… or wasn’t all from his magic.

Except I wasn’t fae.

My ears were round, my eyes were boring and brown not jewel-toned, and I wasn’t beautiful like all the fae I’d seen and especially not like Lark .

I was human through and through… alright, maybe I wasn’t completely human. I had premonitions that had now become visions so I was fae-touched — the kind of fae-touched that meant I had a bit of magical ability, not the kind that meant I was a man attracted to other men. But being fae-touched didn’t make me fae.

Except something was up because three times now I’d gone to sleep in the Black Tower and woken in the Garden.

“So what? She was set up with a guy, took the mating vows, and was fine?” Lewin asked.

“It’s not that simple,” Kit replied. “Our women take at least three mates. Payne’s sister would have been better able to focus after taking her first mate, but she still would have been distracted for possibly years until she’d bound all her mates to her, however many that ended up being.”

“Five,” Payne added. “The Goddess blessed her with five. All with powerful magic.”

“How does that work? In bed I mean?” Lewin cocked his head to the side as if he were trying to envision six people all having sex.

A shiver of need rushed through me. I didn’t know what six people in bed looked like, but I sure knew what five did and it had been incredibly sexy.

I took a long gulp of ale, trying to hide my reaction, but it went down the wrong way and I ended up coughing and gasping. The others burst into laughter and Lewin slapped me on the back, doing nothing to help me catch my breath.

“I think you’ve broken him,” Lewin laughed. “So she’s set up with many guys and takes the vows.”

“It’s not just any guy, and we don’t set her up ,” Kit said. “She finds men who please her. In fact our women are encouraged to embrace the compulsion of their marks and take as many men as she likes?—”

“He means sex,” Lewin said with a knowing wink to me as if I hadn’t already figured out what he’d meant.

“But not like how you humans think of sex,” Payne replied with a pointed glare at Lewin. “We see sex differently than you do. You control your desires and the desires of your women. You have all these rules about sex.”

“If your women are lucky, they’re allowed to marry for love,” Kit added, his expression turning grim.

“Only if they’re peasants,” I said, the words slipping out before I could stop them.

Noblemen’s daughters had no choice. They were sold for money and political power. That was all they were good for.

That was all I’d been good for.

And even though I’d only spent two days living as a man and was so sore it hurt to even think about moving, I felt freer magically bound to the Black Tower than I ever had at Herstind Castle .

“Your sister?” Lewin asked.

I blinked at him. I didn’t think I’d told him about me, but I had told Talon and Lord Quill. I hadn’t wanted to, but when Lord Quill had been ready to run back to Herstind Castle to rescue me, I’d had to say something. Guess one of the two had told Kit and his team.

“I think if our father was still alive he would have found a good match for her, but he died before a match was made and our step-father signed a marriage contract with one of his friends.”

Lewin gave a knowing nod. “Marrying her into a friend’s family is a good way to strengthen ties between the families.”

I was painfully aware of that, but I got the impression he said that for Kit and Payne’s benefit. Which made sense. If I didn’t know much about fae and their culture, they might not know a whole lot about humans. Sure, the men of the Black Guard worked together, but that didn’t mean they talked about their cultural differences. Especially the difference between men and women’s relationships since all of the humans had been forced to leave their relationships and weren’t allowed to be married.

“And it doesn’t even have to be an heir,” Lewin added. “Marrying her to any of his friend’s sons would have helped solidified their family ties.”

“Except my sister wasn’t betrothed to his son. It was him. He was a widower and she was to become his second wife as soon as she was able to bear children.”

Which was also common among human nobility. Edred’s second wife was younger than me and he was the same age as my father. The only reason I’d been saved the same fate was because my husband-to-be’s heart had given out and he’d died before I could be shipped off to him.

“He died and his second son agreed to honor the contract and she was to be married to him when he returned from his sailing expedition,” I added.

“That’s just disgusting,” Payne huffed. “She should get to choose, like our women do.”

“Sort of do,” Kit corrected. “A woman could have fallen madly in love with you, but you have no magic, so the Goddess wouldn’t have chosen you to be her mate.”

Lewin frowned. “So what? She sleeps with whoever strikes her fancy and then what—? Her mates are randomly selected from the group?”

“Pretty much,” Kit said. “There has to be the possibility of love between the two, but a spark also needs to form between their soul magics. She doesn’t have to have sex with a man to discover if he’s fated to be hers, but it helps.”

“And you have to have magic,” Payne added. “A man without magic hasn’t been mated for almost four hundred years. ”

“But that’s why the fae you overheard talking about the new arrival were so excited,” Kit said. “Our population is mostly male, so there aren’t a lot of available females. One only shows up every five or six years. And while some mated women like to invite the odd unmated man to their beds, most are content with the mates they have.”

“So you’re saying you guys only get to have sex with a woman of your own kind when one is looking for her mates?” Lewin stared at them his expression stunned. “Not at any other time?”

“Not really,” Kit replied.

“No wonder you encourage your women to sleep with everyone,” Lewin said. “You must love that those marks make them horny.”

Which explained why Wells and Crane had been so aggressive with me. Even if they didn’t want to be mated, I was their only chance at having sex with a fae woman for who-knew-how-long. And while I felt a little bad for them, that wasn’t enough for me to have sex with them. If I was going to be free of my real life while in the Garden, then I was going to choose who I had sex with, no one else.

My thoughts leaped to Fantasy Man and how incredible he’d made me feel. I wanted more of that, even if it wasn’t real because I wasn’t a real fae.

This was a chance I’d never have again. I could ask any man in the Garden who struck my fancy and he’d probably say yes.

But would I have the courage to ask?

Asking for what I wanted went against everything I’d been taught. And really, I’d be lying to them. They’d be having sex with me with the hope that they’d become my mate, and because I wasn’t a fae, that would never happen.

“But if you don’t please her, she won’t invite you into her bed,” Kit reminded. “No matter how much she needs to have sex.”

“So you have to treat her like a queen.” Lewin gave a knowing nod.

My pulse stuttered. What if the fae’s Goddess did bind me with the men I had sex with? They’d be furious to find out they were stuck with a human.

“You should treat any woman like a queen,” Payne replied. “Even if you’re paying her.”

“Oh, I agree.” Lewin sat back, his hands raised in submission. “You get way better service and extra perks if you treat your pleasure house girl with respect.” Then he turned to me. “So that’s your first lesson. You?—”

No. I couldn’t forget what I’d decided last night. I had to figure out how to stop going to the Garden. Period. And until I did, I had to avoid contact with everyone, even Fantasy Man .

“Hey, kid.” Lewin ruffled my hair again, jerking my attention to him.

“What?”

The guys burst into laughter and I’d realized they’d said something to me.

“For sex. If you want better sex with the girls in Lehyrst,” Lewin said, “you have to treat them like queens.”

“Right. Of course.”

Except I’d already had the best sex of my life and, shadows help me, I was going to do my damnedest never to have it again.

So long as Talon didn’t use his magic on me to heighten my sexual attraction to him, I’d be fine. I could withstand whatever my fake marks were making me feel. The desire I’d felt when Crane had touched them had been my imagination, a remnant of Talon’s magic, nothing more.

They weren’t compelling me because I wasn’t a fae woman in search of her mates.