2. Andres

CHAPTER 2

ANDRES

“So, what do you think?” I said as quietly as I could, looking around, but no one even looked up from their books. Especially not the woman who had been driving me crazy. Maybe that’s why I’d asked Crank Dominguez to meet me in the library? “LA would keep you close and?—"

“Mr. Montoya?—"

“Andres,” I corrected as gently as I could and winced.

Mr. Montoya? Jesus Christ! Who the hell did this guy think I was? Some old motherfucker? You are an old motherfucker, dumbass, a voice in my head reminded me. The kid sitting across from me definitely thought my middle-aged ass was old. Ancient probably.

“Andres,” he repeated. “Like I told you before, I’ve changed my major, and I’m not interested in tossing my hat into the draft. I’m going to play here another year.”

The confidence in the kid’s voice would have been admirable had it not been for the fact his answer made him a serious pain in my ass. The organization still needed a linebacker. Or at least a really fucking good one they could trade mid-season with a couple of other players to acquire a bigger fish. And I still needed to deliver one more player before the fall and my contract officially ended.

“I get it.” I sighed and nodded. I’d asked for another meeting with the kid not because I’d thought I could actually talk him into it, but because I was grasping at straws, trying to find ways to see my sexy little librarian without freaking her out again. I shook my head and cleared my throat.

“Thanks for your time.”

“Of course.” He nodded and stood up. I watched the kid leave then I sat there for a moment. I tried to avoid looking at her, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.

The library was quiet. Peaceful. I’d even enjoyed spending time there when I’d attended to school here. But it was incredibly serene knowing she was right there. Right within reach.

So close yet so far. The thought made my hands clench into tight fists at my sides.

For some reason, I couldn’t get myself to approach her. Instead, I’d cyber-stalked her without a fucking regret. I had no idea why she, out of countless women I had met, drew me in that way. I was doing things, crazy things, for her, for us, yet I couldn’t get myself to talk to her.

I still couldn’t believe it had been a month since I’d first seen her. Since I’d followed her around and discovered who she was. That night, I’d logged onto my computer the moment I returned to my hotel. I was stupid to think that one quick Google search would have helped lose interest in her.

It hadn’t.

It had done the opposite. It fed the thing inside of me that had been dormant for the past forty years. One quick search turned into an all-nighter, leaving me bleary eyed the next morning from the slippery slope of the cyber rabbit hole I’d willingly gone down. Logging into different social media outlets, even making a profile for myself on the ones I didn’t have yet, just to see her. To find out more. It was scary how easy you found people online nowadays. Everything was a simple click away.

Carmen Villalobos was beautiful.

Complicated.

And so damn addicting.

I knew this without having said a word to her.

There wasn’t a night this last month when I hadn’t looked her up. When I hadn’t jerked off to her pictures or the sound of her voice from the videos she had uploaded. Night and day and sometimes more than that. I knew all sorts of shit about her. Shit that if I weren’t so fucking unhinged, I would have found out from her. Information she would have shared with me. Should have.

But I hadn’t.

I’d crossed lines and made changes to my life that left me feeling almost unrecognizable. Falling in love did that to you. No matter what I dug up in an effort to find some kind of fault, I not only came up short, but each and every time, I found myself hungrier for more.

Her posts made me laugh and smile. I’d read every word about her, too. And that included every scrap I could find about her divorce. Just the thought of that prick, who had treated her like shit, made me start to see red.

After I first saw her, I’d kept doing what was on my schedule for three days, Carmen never far from my thoughts. But when I’d arrived back home and sat around my apartment, I knew shit had to change. Every single molecule in my body protested about being there, yet I’d forced myself to sit down on a couch that had been hardly used because of how much I traveled for work. I’d looked around. The place was great. Luxury amplified and everything I had once thought I wanted. Things I’d dreamt about while I raised Betty after our parents’ death.

But I was done.

I’d known it before I’d seen Carmen, but there was something about my little bookworm that made it more than crystal clear that my time with the NFL team was coming to an end.

As a man who always had a plan, I’d reached out to the University of the Desert, and without shame, I’d had talked to the dean about finding a position within the athletics department. I didn’t want to go back to coaching. I knew the position was more than filled with Goodwin and Bridges there, plus all the rest of the coaching staff.

But somehow, I’d been in luck. The dean had been about to reach out to me. One of his associate football directors had retired early for personal reasons, and he needed the position filled. I took it without even asking how much it paid.

That was how much everything inside of me needed to return to the woman I hadn’t even said hello to. To a woman who didn’t even know I existed. To a woman I had fallen in love with at first sight.

When the call ended, I’d gone out to the balcony and looked out toward the city, when a hummingbird perched itself on the rail and looked at me. The whole thing probably lasted maybe thirty seconds but felt longer.

But more importantly, it’d felt like a sign.

My mom would always tell me the biggest thing you could count on in life was that things were always changing and evolving. Hummingbirds had always made me think of her. Not because she had been some kind of bird watcher but because like the bird itself, she had been tiny, feisty, and never stopped. She’d always kept going and moving.

I wasn’t a spiritual man or a religious one. I was a dick, if I was being honest. My little sister, the only family I had left, would be the first to vouch for that, even now when we were trying to repair our relationship. But the whole thing had made me feel like maybe for once, I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

I’d talked to the team, and they had convinced me to stay on part time. And doing my due diligence for my position with them, even though I knew there was no hope of recruiting the linebacker, I’d scheduled one last meeting with him. In the library. Taking down two birds with one stone. The kid was dead set on becoming a doctor, and I had a feeling Hector ‘Crank’ Dominguez would do just that. He was smart and crazy dedicated when he went for something he was after.

Everything had changed so quickly, yet it all felt right.

Even if three days ago, Carmen had called security on me. Not that the guard told me it was her who made the call. But I knew. I’d scared her with the way I’d been lurking around and staring at her. I’d been too intense. Too obvious. She probably caught me around campus or in town when I followed her about. She didn’t know she had nothing to fear when it came to me. But from everything I’d learned about her, my sexy librarian had gone through enough and didn’t need to take any more shit from any other man.

Especially not from me.

I wanted to give her the peace she gave me by just sharing the same space as her. Or a smidge of it, if possible. Fuck, the things I wanted to do to her. A lot of them fucking dirty and depraved, but for the most part, I just wanted to take care of her. Protect her. Cherish her. Dominate her. I shook the last thought away. I couldn’t go there. That side of me, the darker one that behind closed doors needed to be handed control to make the woman in his bed sing and feel cherished, would have to calm the hell down. Maybe with time, I could show her that side of me? Maybe she would even indulge me in playing. One day. But that was far off in the distant future.

It was past time to make a move.

She walked out of the aisle, her face in a book while she made her way back toward the office she had in the back. I knew her schedule. I’d been here often enough to learn it. Watched every move she made. No wonder she got creeped out by me.

Today, she was in a cute little sundress with bright flowers under a yellow background. The skirt ended just above her knees. It swished and swayed with every step she took, making me ache for just a glimpse of an inch or more of skin. I forced myself to turn around and take my cell phone out.

I checked my emails, or better yet, pretended to. I had a handful of messages I’d been ignoring. Work mail. Shit I should have been taking care of but couldn’t because my head was somehow stuck so far up my own ass, I didn’t know which way was up.

Carmen.

It was the sexy little librarian’s fault I was so fucking spun out. I ran my hands through my hair before scratching the scruff on my face. I should have shaved. Maybe I should wait another day before I approached her? No , a voice growled in my head. The obsessed part of me that had no comprehension for what was right or wrong when it came to her had quickly taken over.

Now I lived on the campus’ professor row in a small two-bedroom bungalow that shared her fence line since I was living right behind her. Something I might have had a hand in, too. But fuck me, what were the chances that particular house had just been vacated by a professor who transferred to a school in Minnesota?

So many changes in so little time.

Now it’s time for one more. I licked my lips and stood up. Stretching and breathing in deep before I walked over to the information desk, where she was currently talking to one of her student employees.

“Thanks, Miss Villalobos.”

“I told you to call me Carmen, Libby.”

“Carmen.” The girl smiled. “I really appreciate you letting me out early. I just have to get to my other job.”

“Hey, don’t worry. Anytime there is an issue with the schedule, you come find me, and I will see what I can do.”

“Thanks.” The appreciation was crystal clear in the girl’s voice.

“And, Libby?” I heard her call after the girl with big glasses perched at the end of her nose. “Next year, if you want, we can look into maybe you doing more hours here? That way, you can quit the diner?”

“Maybe.” She smiled and shrugged. “I might take you up on that.”

“I hope you do.” Carmen waved at the girl before she turned. Those pretty, green eyes I’d fallen so damn hard for connected with mine. “It’s you.”

“Me.” I grinned cockily. Yeah, it had definitely been her who had called security on me. I kinda liked the fact she knew who I was and had noticed me even though I tried to be stealthy.

“Umm…” She shook her head and dropped her eyes to the top of the desk. “Can I help you with something?” she asked, moving toward the computer.

Jesus, if that wasn’t a loaded question, I didn’t know what was. Her hands started to fiddle with the keyboard, and her gaze was on the screen of the computer. Hell, it was on everything but me.

And I didn’t like it.

“I wanted to introduce myself,” I said bluntly. There was no way I could play this any other way than honestly. Or as honestly as I could considering how I’d been following her. Carmen’s head quickly popped up. For a flash of a second, nothing but surprise was painted on her face. But it quickly changed. Her brows bunched together, and there was a spark of attitude behind those pretty eyes. And just like that, I was really fucking glad there was a table between us to try and hide the ever-growing bulge behind my jeans. I would have never thought attitude could get me hard, but I had a feeling anything she did would get me going.

“Why?” she challenged. I had to bite away the grin that threatened. Damn, I liked her spunk.

“I’m new here.”

“Not that new,” she clipped, her expression not giving anything away.

“Oh?” I found myself asking.

“You used to be the football coach, right? Before you went to recruit for the Rams?”

“Been looking into me?” I asked before I could stop myself. I knew I was coming off like an arrogant SOB. She might have rolled her eyes at me, but there was a sparkle of interest in her gaze. I leaned against the desktop.

“So?”

“So, what?” she asked cautiously.

“Have you been looking into me?” Because I sure as fuck looked into you. Jesus Christ, I had changed my entire life and career for her without even speaking to her.

“Not in the way you’re trying to imply.” There went those deep green-hued eyes rolling again. But this time, it was for show. There was no denying the slight blush that lay beneath her tanned skin. “It’s my job to make sure the library is a safe space. And when I noticed a suspicious character lurking around?—“

“Suspicious character?” I playfully pretended to be insulted. She sighed.

“Look, you’ve been here a lot. I’ve noticed you around campus, too. You don’t look familiar, and my main concern is making sure the students here are safe.”

“You think I look unsafe?” I asked. She didn’t answer. She just stared back at me, and I hated that this whole thing wasn’t turning out how I had imagined.

In my head, it would have been easy.

I’d introduce myself smile, and she’d smile back. I’d ask her to dinner, she would say yes with a dreamy look on her face, and the rest would be history. But reality was nothing like that. And I, of all people, should have known that and been prepared.

“I just came back,” I started to explain. “Like you know, I was a coach here and I did leave to work as a recruiter for the NFL.” I waited for her to look impressed, like women usually did.

But not my Carmen. She wasn’t impressed whatsoever. If anything, she seemed bored.

“I still am, kinda.” I shook my head and shrugged. “Long story. It’s more of a technicality,” I shared, trying another approach. This one with my most charming smile, one that usually made women swoon, but again, nothing. I not only crashed and burned, but I was doing it spectacularly. “I’m going to be one of the new associate football directors come fall,” I finally spit out.

“Wow,” she retorted almost sarcastically. “Congrats. And you pop by the library and stare at me, why?” she asked bluntly. I fucking liked it.

“Wow!” I laughed and winked, knowing very well I was coming off like an asshole but unable to stop myself. “Someone thinks pretty highly of herself.” Her lips twitched, and she leaned in closer. Those green eyes of hers turned warmer.

Red flags started to wave in the back of my head, but being the stupid, stupid man I was, I didn’t pay any attention to them. I was too focused on how pretty she was and how close she was moving toward me. So close, I could smell the sweet minty scent of her breath. I wanted to know exactly what those pretty, full pillowed lips would feel Ike against mine. In that moment, the whole fucking world had disappeared and nothing but her and I were left.

Carmen’s gaze dropped to my mouth, and heat swirled in her pretty stare before her eyes locked with mine.

“You have no idea,” she whispered. The allure in her voice had me close to losing my load in my pants like some horny, untouched teenager who could get off with a strong wind.

Suddenly, she was no longer right in front of me, leaning over, giving me a hint of her abundant cleavage, but was standing straight with a don’t fuck with me look on her face and her arms crossed in front of her.

“And you won’t,” she stated like it was fact. Retreat! Retreat! The flag waved again in my head, and this time, I was smart enough to pay attention. I didn’t need her to call security again and somehow have the dean get wind of this.

I lifted my hands up like I was giving up, but I wasn’t.

Not at all. Not even close.

My sweet colorful bookworm who played music way too loud at night was going to be mine. I might not have won the first battle, but I’d win the war. Then I’d claim her as my prize because Carmen was mine. I just had to retreat for a moment and come up with a new strategy. Recalculate.

“Okay.” I straightened and reached for my wallet in my back pocket. I could feel her eyeing me, and I didn’t want to know exactly how suspiciously she was staring at me. I found the paper I’d put in there in case of an emergency like this. Thanks again, Betty, I thought to myself. My sister and her endless book recommendations.

“Could you help me out with one thing before kicking me out?” I asked, sounding a little defeated.

“I wasn’t kicking—“ She made a frustrated maddeningly adorable sound before looking up at the ceiling. Her eyes shut, and I could have sworn she counted to five before staring back at me. “What do you need?” she asked with a tight smile.

“Could you help me find this book?” I handed her the paper, and she read it. Blinked down at it and glanced back up at me then at the paper.

“You want this book?”

“I do,” I confirmed. The usual cocky armor I wore like a second skin started to slip.

“Really?” One of her brows rose. “Do you know what this book is about?” She moved in closer, resting her hands on top of the counter. I rubbed the back of my head, knowing the tips of my ears were burning with embarrassment.

“I have an idea,” I answered, clearing my throat. My little sister and her book recommendations.

“You could buy this book. Online, I mean. You know that, right?”

“Technically, I could buy mostly any book online. I mean, what can’t you buy online nowadays, am I right?” I challenged. Finally, hope started to grow inside me when her lips started to twitch.

“You want to read about blue ice aliens?” she asked plainly.

“I mean?—“

“Blue ice aliens finding their mate?”

“Mate,” I repeated, and our eyes locked. Yeah, that’s exactly what she would be.

My mate.

My soulmate.

Mine.

A soft current of something electric zipped between us. She shook her head, but that hint of a smile graced her perfect mouth, and I relaxed.

“Okay, fine. Blue alien romance it is.” My sister and her ridiculous book recommendations. “Do you have your library card?” I stuffed my hands into my front pocket, trying to seem as innocent as possible, knowing there was nothing innocent about myself.

“Well, maybe I need help with two things?” I shrugged, and there it was again. She might not want to like me or be intrigued by me, but she was.

Carmen’s face didn’t give much away, but it was those soft green eyes that hinted she didn’t necessarily hate me.

And I could work with that.