5. Roland

Emerson's grip tightened on my waist, near painful, until I was sure I would be left with bruises. I looked forward to seeing the marks he left on my body. Evidence that I belonged to him, not just as his employee, but as his partner. Then, without warning, as if my weight meant nothing to him, he hoisted me up onto the counter, and when I parted my knees, he stepped in, notched close enough that I could feel his bulge pressed hard against mine. The counter vibrated under me with the rocking of the industrial washing machine.

"Someone could walk in. They'll see," I warned, even though I was way past caring. We were in the hotel's laundry room in the basement, and there were always staff coming and going, emptying and reloading housekeeping carts.

"So?" The corner of his lips turned up in a smirk, and I found myself leaning closer, wanting to bite those lips. "Don't you think we've waited long enough? Roland, I can't keep you at a distance any longer. I'm a patient man, but even I have my limits." As if to emphasize that I was that limit, he dug his fingers into my hair and pulled until my head was tilted back, then he descended on the exposed skin of my neck, sucking and biting up the column of flesh like a man starved.

"Emerson," I panted, wrapping my legs around his waist so he couldn't run like he so often did. He couldn't leave me again, I wouldn't survive it. Fumbling against him, I blindly grappled with his jacket, trying to force it back over his shoulders, but he refused to let go of me to undress himself.

The washing machine switched to a spin cycle, and as the vibration changed, it set off a tingling sensation through my body. Between that and the searching nature of Emerson's mouth as he loosened my tie to lick the hollow between my collarbones, I was becoming frantic. I felt slick trickling from my ass, dampening my underwear.

My body called to his, and for once, he responded to my need with desperation of his own. We were made for each other, and fighting against it was driving us both insane.

I was jolted from my fantasy by the click-clack of high heels across the lobby's polished marble floor, and I groaned in frustration under my breath. I was always interrupted at the best part. It didn't help that I was working late to cover for Emily, and the mornings were obviously busier than my usual night shift.

When I saw who it was, I clenched my teeth so hard that my jaw ached. Coming toward me was the city's mayor, Eva Ward. As always happened when in her presence, my skin crawled with revulsion, and it took everything in me not to sneer. She'd taken over the role of mayor by default when it was uncovered that the previous mayor had been dabbling in bribery, blackmail, and extortion, and though she'd won the next election (supposedly fair and square), there would always be this lingering doubt about her integrity. Her smiles were too practiced, her words honey-smooth.

And when she approached the desk and asked, "Is Emerson in?" I hated her even more.

"He's very busy today," I told her, and while I didn't know that for sure, it was probably true. He was always busy.

She arched a perfectly sculpted brow at me. "Well, would you please tell him I'm here? We have something to discuss, and I'm afraid it can't wait."

I wanted to tell her no, to fuck off and crawl back under whatever rock she came from, but I couldn't do that. So instead, I made a show of walking out from behind the desk and knocking gently on Emerson's office door. "Come in," he called, his voice muffled and yet still somehow potent.

When I opened the door and peeked through, his body went rigid, his nostrils flaring, the grip on his pen tightening. "Roland," he purred roughly before he could stop himself and go all formal, and I swore his pupils expanded until they swallowed every speck of blue in his eyes. "You're still here?"

My skin flushed, thinking of my most recent fantasy. "Yes, but I'll be going home soon. I didn't mean to disturb you, sir, but Madame Mayor is here to see you."

And just like that, he seemed to deflate, his skin taking on a gray pallor. He threw his pen to the side of his desk with a muttered curse and rubbed both hands over his face. "Fine. Send her in." I'd never seen him like this, and I didn't like it one little bit.

I wanted to slip into the office and close the door behind me. I wanted him to tell me what was wrong, and then we would fix it; I had no doubt that we would be an unstoppable force once we worked together, but we were forever apart, and we were weaker for it. Why couldn't Emerson see that?

Backing away instead, I nodded to the mayor that she could enter, and she gave me a sly predator's smile as she sauntered past me. Her soulless eyes stayed glued to mine until she closed the door, locking them inside.

I felt numb as I made my way back to the desk. No amount of fantasizing would make this better. I used to think my dreams were better than nothing, that pretending Emerson was mine would tide me over… but that was a lie. It would never be enough.

"Hey, man, can I borrow twenty bucks?" Benny asked, coming from the back. He'd changed out of his server's uniform, so I assumed he was finished working the breakfast shift. Gods, what time was it? No wonder I was exhausted. I'd been working for over 12 hours. Where the hell was Emily? She said her doctor's appointment would only take an hour. "I asked Joseph, but that guy is so cheap. He said I'd have to pay him back with interest." He scoffed.

I was already fishing out my wallet. "Yeah, sure. Whatever." I shoved some bills at him, whatever I had, without really thinking about it. My attention was focused squarely on that closed office door.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked, surprisingly gently, even as he slipped the undetermined amount of money into his pocket. "You're even more spacey than usual."

"Nothing. Or I guess, something, but I don't know what. The mayor just went into Mr. Holland's office."

"So?" he asked, missing the point. "What do you care if they have a meeting?"

I scowled, letting my professional image slip. "I just don't like her, with her tight blouses and short skirts, flaunting all that skin. She's like an angler fish or something, distracting everyone from her pointy teeth by waving something shiny around, and meanwhile, she's just waiting for the right moment to bite your head off."

Benny started laughing, the sound echoing a little off the polished surfaces and high ceiling. "Ohhh, I get it now. They're having a ‘meeting,'" he said, using air quotes. I sputtered and tried to correct his assumption, but he was already walking away. "Dude, I know how you feel about our boss—hell, everybody knows. But if you're not going to act on it, someone else is going to move in. You can't expect an alpha to wait forever. The man has needs."

I growled in frustration. Everybody knew? I thought I'd been discreet. "You think I haven't tried?" I snapped in a harsh whisper, not needing to advertise my failure. "And what about my needs?!"

He laughed again on his way for the door, and it made me want to cry. Why couldn't he have said something comforting, like how she wasn't at all his type or that everybody knew how Emerson felt about me too. Now that would've been helpful.

Just as my mood had sunk to a brand-new low, the office door opened and the mayor swooped through. She cast one last discerning glance my way, and she narrowed her eyes with a malevolent glint, before she spun on her patent pump and stalked out. I swore the air temperature plummeted in her wake, and Sandy, the morning door attendant, scrambled to get the door open in time.

When Emerson emerged through the door Eva had left open, he looked shaken. Somehow, his face had gone even paler, his eyes losing their light, his blond hair curling across his forehead. He looked… broken. Subconsciously, he seemed to gravitate toward me whenever he felt lost, like I was his compass, but he didn't look up until he was only a foot away.

"Please, Emerson," I whispered, pleading with him, not for the first time. "Don't try to pretend everything is fine when it clearly isn't. I can't help you if you won't let me in."

I saw something that looked a lot like fear in his eyes as they shone with unshed tears. He shook his head and stumbled back a step, but with Benny's words still bouncing around in my head, my arm darted out and I snatched his hand, refusing to let go. Instead of pulling away, his fingers instinctively tightened on mine, but his skin was so cold. "I-I can't… You can't help me. Nobody can. I'm so sorry, Roland." The tension seemed to crackle between us, like an electric current. "Enjoy your night off. You deserve it." And with a final squeeze of his hand, he jerked free and fled.

I should've been tickled that he knew my schedule, but all I could think about was chasing after him. I was about to say screw it and abandon the desk, when Emily appeared from the hallway, looking confused. "What's up with the boss man?" she asked, looking back over her shoulder where she'd obviously just passed him in the hall.

Huffing a breath through my nose, I muttered, "Nothing, I guess." I glared at her for being way later than she'd said she would be, but it was like water off a duck's back. Instead, she just shooed me away and wished me a good rest of my day.

Normally, after an extra-long shift like this, I would've been exhausted beyond belief, ready to fall into bed, but instead, the extreme emotions playing tug-of-war with my heart kept me way too alert to consider sleeping. I was worried for Emerson, but soon enough, that shifted into frustration and confusion, and then swung straight through to anger. I was pissed.

How dare he keep pushing me away! Just because he was the alpha of my dreams, did that mean I was supposed to wait for him to come around and make time for me? Well, forget it! I was an attractive, eligible bachelor, and if stupid Emerson Holland didn't want me, then I would find someone who did.

I practically stomped my way up the stairs of my apartment building, all the way to Collette's door. I knocked then let myself in as usual. She was in the kitchen, washing up some dishes and humming a tune. "Hello, dear. Are you just getting home? Are you hungry? I could scramble you some eggs if you want."

My appetite was nowhere to be seen, though. Instead, my pulse was pounding in my ears. "Hey, Collette? Why don't you tell me about that grandson of yours, Alan? Would he really bring me flowers?"

Her smile was a thousand watts.