Chapter 4

Paisley

I’m here for Flora. I’m here for Flora. If I repeat it enough in my head, I’ll stop thinking about what Jack said yesterday afternoon. He didn’t mean me, he didn’t. He just meant that whenever he was with one woman, there was another he was thinking about. That’s all. He didn’t mean me.

I don’t want him to mean me anyway. I’m perfectly happy with my life away from here. I’ve got … I’ve got … my work and my apartment, and friends, I’ve got those.

Except, I hate my job, my apartment is a tiny one-bedroom flat above a chip shop, and my ‘friends’ are all work colleagues, two of who think my name is Maisie. It’s busy, it’s noisy, it’s … what I needed ten years ago. But now, being back here, I’m wondering if I made the right decision.

I get the looks being back here, of course I do, the pity, the worry, the stares of those who know what went down. There are the whispers too, the ‘there goes that girl’ and the ‘she’s the one whose sister…’ and, well, the hundred other things people say.

There’s kindness though, the love and warmth, the genuine concern for how I am. And not just because of what happened all those years ago, but because they’re nice people. I’m not saying the people who I live amongst now aren’t perfectly lovely too, but in a big city, they all seem rushed and annoyed, all dealing with their own stresses and strains. Here, it’s calmer, more peaceful. I didn’t think it would be, didn’t think I’d be able to walk these streets and feel happy, safe. Didn’t think I’d ever be able to call it home again, but that’s what it feels like.

“We going to sit here all day, or shall we make a start on the rest of this wedding?”

Jack’s voice pulls me from my thoughts and it takes me a second to realise we’re parked up outside the post office and I’m staring out at the high street.

“You okay?” he asks. “Something tells me that look isn’t utter disdain at the fact I get to help you now.”

His voice has changed, he’s speaking softly, hovers a hand above my thigh before changing his mind and rubbing my arm gently.

“I’m fine. It’s just being back here, it’s…”

I don’t finish my sentence, I don’t have to, he knows me, and when he takes my hand and pulls me over into a hug, I immediately melt into him and let loose the tears that threatened earlier, them soon becoming a full-on sob.

“I know. It’s hard. But you’ve not been back, not once. The things you’re feeling now, we’ve all dealt with, we still feel them, won’t ever forget, but we’ve packed it all up in a box and tried to move on.”

I thought I had moved on. I moved away, far enough that this place was a dot on the map, a speck of dust I flicked away, a dust bunny in a long-forgotten old house. Except I can’t forget.

I have to ask, need to ask. “Why weren’t you there that night?”

He holds my upper arms, moves me away from him a little, and looks into my eyes. “If I promise to tell you everything, will you give me the next few days to get everything straight in my head? Let’s get Flora and Elliott’s wedding sorted, they’re most important right now, and then we’ll talk, okay?”

I can’t fault him for wanting to put my sister first, but it’s been eating away at me for ten years. “Okay, but … did you … did I do something wrong?”

It’s not what I want to ask him. I want to know if he really loved me back then, if everything we shared was a lie and that when things got tough, he just didn’t want to be there.

“Pais, no. Can you just trust me that’s there’s more to the story than you know, that I’m not the awful human being you think I am, and that we’ll talk? Please?”

I nod slowly, wipe at my cheeks with the back of my hand and try to calm myself.

“You’ve humoured my stopping to pick up croissants for breakfast, now what’s next on this list?” he says, changing the subject.

I sigh deeply. “We’ve got to fix everything my mother broke.”

His brow creases, an eyebrow raised quizzically.

“She wanted to be involved, and Flora didn’t have the heart to say no. But mum got a little motherzilla-of-the-bride.”

Jack chuckles. “Sorry, I can so see your mum being a nightmare.”

It makes me giggle too. “Yeah, she means well, but she’s pissed off the caterer to the point they’re threatening to pull out, has interfered with the cake so much the bakery told her they’re no longer willing to take on the job, and she’s had the florist make up a sample bridal bouquet and a centrepiece for the tables five times now, each time telling her it’s not quite right and that she needs another one. She pulled out completely yesterday.”

“Oof, that’s a lot of meddling.”

“Flora just couldn’t tell her no. Didn’t have the heart after … everything.”

“Well, first things first, we go speak to the caterer. They’ve not quit yet, right? So, we go make nice with them. Who’s doing it?”

“Some company called Shawcross Event Catering.”

A beaming smile crosses Jack’s face. “Don’t worry, we’ve got this. Come on, let’s head over there.”

****

As it happens, Shawcross are two people, Adeline Shaw and Oliver Cross. Their company is based in some vast warehouse in the next town over, and we arrive just as Adeline is loading up a van.

“Addie,” Jack calls as we approach.

“Jack. Hey babe, how you doing?”

Oh great, another beautiful woman about to drape herself all over Jack. A blonde this time. Seems he’s become quite the player since I last saw him.

“Ouch.”

Jack steps back from Addie’s punch on the arm. “I’m good. How are you doing though, still seeing that idiot Dillon?”

“Fuck no, he was a total arse. You know what he did? After our first night together he stayed over and then in the morning asked if I was any good at making pancakes. Obviously, I mean, he knew what I did for a living, bit insulting really. Anyway, I made some, he scoffed them down and then told me he didn’t think it was going to work out with us because I was too talkative and he prefers the quiet types. I mean, we’d been on a few dates already, surely he knew I liked to talk. Fucking arse. Just wanted a shag, I guess. Anyway, what’s new with you? Oh hello, who might this be?”

It’s like she suddenly realises I’m there, a full-on grin and hug incoming soon after. “I’m Addie, Olly is around here somewhere. Are you two dating? It’s about time he found himself someone nice, he’s been too hung up on this woma—”

Jack laughs. “Okay, okay, how about we head inside, yeah?”

He puts his arm around the shoulders of the petite blonde and heads toward the warehouse, his head bent to her ear as I follow behind. After a few seconds there’s a squeal from Addie, another punch on the arm for Jack, and then constant glances over her shoulder until we’re inside.

Jack takes the lead once we find Oliver. It seems it’s him that handles the business side of things and is the one who threatened to pull out of the wedding. The moment he sees Jack however, everything changes. It’s like he can’t do enough for him.

“Don’t you worry at all, we’ll take care of it, of everything,” Oliver says, steering Jack off towards a kitchen area. “Come taste some stuff while you’re here, let’s catch up.”

He gives me a quick smile over his shoulder, shrugs me a ‘What? It’s free food’ kind of look, and disappears through large double doors.

“You and Jack,” Addie grins. “You getting back together?”

I forgot what a small town this is, that even people I don’t know will somehow know my entire history.

“How do you two know each other, I don’t think I remember you from back in the day,” I say, deflecting.

“Oh, it’s a cute story,” she begins, eyes lighting up. “I was in a club and this fella was getting rather handsy. Jack came striding over and inserted himself between us and pretended to be my boyfriend. It was really sweet. I’d lost all my friends to the dancefloor and random hook-ups by then so I was glad of the save.”

She waffles on for another ten minutes, veering off the subject completely and talking about the local church roof, how there aren’t enough brightly coloured front doors in town now, and the time she dated a bodyguard to the royal family. She sure likes to talk.

“So, you must have been pretty happy when it turned out to be Jack saving you that night,” I say, bringing the conversation back to where we started. And not because out of all she said, all I heard was that she likes the bodyguard types.

“Oh, definitely.”

“Another bodyguard, well, security. You must have a type.”

She laughs. “Me and Jack? Oh hell no. I was pleased it was him because he’s a stellar guy, but romantically, not a chance. He’s so consumed with—”

“You two getting on well then?” Jack interrupts.

Addie then tells him, in detail, everything we’ve been talking about, recounting the stories again, just for him. But she’s sweet and friendly, and has no apparent interest in Jack. Not that her thoughts and feelings on him should or would make me like her any less, of course.

We eventually make it out of the building and get back on the road, all the while I sit and wonder what it was Addie was about to tell me.

“Addie seems lovely,” I say as we take a left back towards town. “She seemed pleased to see you.”

He smiles. “You seem surprised every time anyone likes me. It’s not that unusual, I’m pretty likeable.”

“Whatever,” I say with a roll of my eyes that I just can’t help. “Just meant you know a lot of people.”

“You mean I know a lot of women,” he smirks. “You think I’m some kind of player nowadays?”

I don’t answer. I don’t care what he does, who he does.

“Addie and me met when—”

“You saved her. She told me. Clearly you’re good at your job,”

“I wasn’t working, just out with a couple of mates. Helped her out of a difficult situation, spent the next hour chatting, or she did, I walked her home, she invited me in—”

I thought they didn’t…

“You can spare me the details.”

“No, no. Not like that. She’d been talking about her business, asked me to try her signature cake. And no, that’s not a euphemism for something. It was actually cake. And it was divine. To be fair, probably orgasmic,” he laughs. “Anyway, she gave me her card, and a while later, when I got the job with Ben, he was looking for a caterer, I said I knew someone, and Shawcross are now the only company he’ll use. Me and her have become good friends over the years. She’s never been good at choosing men though. Awful, awful taste.”

“You never wanted to change that for her?”

“Like date her myself? Never. She’s not my type.”

I’m tempted to ask what his type is nowadays, but I stop myself. I tell myself it’s because I don’t care, but honestly, it might just be because I’m worried I’ll not like his answer.

“Oh, hold on, if they’re Bennett’s caterer, they know Breckmann Manor really well, that’ll help on the day.”

“Yeah, they’ll be great. You’ve nothing to worry about with them.”

He sighs deeply, looks across the street and then at his watch. “I was going to suggest we went for a coffee but I really have to run, I’ve a deadline for the paper and I’ve not even started the article yet. See you tomorrow? I’ve got a meeting in the morning, but after lunch, around one?”

“Sounds good. Thanks for today. I feel like the big things are in place now, these other things can’t be so hard to figure out, surely.”

He gives me an unexpected hug. “It’s all going to be fine. Tomorrow, cake?”

“Yeah, I’ll ring around in the morning, hopefully have that sorted pretty quick, then we can move on to something else.”

“Perfect,” he says, hand skimming my hip as he kisses me on the cheek. “We’ll have to avoid giving your mum details of anything we put in place. I told Olly to just ignore anything she might phone or email with from now on. I kind of explained the situation … I hope that’s okay.”

“That’s fine,” I answer.

And it is fine. Honestly, what does it matter if one more person knows anyway? Almost every person in town knows about us, about Flora, about that night and the months leading up to it.