Chapter 8

Tulip

Holy shit. This isn’t what I came here for tonight. I paced my room for ages, the day playing over and over in my head and wondering just what could have happened back there in that alleyway today. What I wanted to happen.

I’ve been fooling myself, telling my heart that I don’t want him, when in reality, from the moment we met, there was something there. I couldn’t resist any longer, gave into my baser needs. And now I’m in bed with Cooper Fox. The movie star. Except, he’s never really been that here. Yes, I know the very reason he’s here is to research a role, film scenes, but with us, with me, he’s just Cooper.

My body is on fire. I’ve never had sex quite like that, never let myself go like that, allowed the need to take over. But with him, it felt natural, like there was no other way to be.

His hand still trails up and down my stomach, I can feel him looking at me, and it’s all I can do not to pull away, leave the comfort of this bed and run. He’s Cooper Fox, and I’m me, a farm girl, a nobody. It’s not like this is real, like it’s going anywhere, it is what it is.

“That was unexpected,” Cooper says, another kiss to my neck.

“I think all of this is unexpected, you’re not exactly what I pictured when I found out you were coming here.”

“At least you knew what you were getting, I imagined I’d be hanging out with some old man with a flat cap and sheepdog.”

“Not much need for a sheepdog here, we find strawberries tend not to wander off and need herding.”

He laughs. “Alright, clever arse, let’s just say you were a pleasant surprise.”

“Same.”

There’s silence for a minute, just the clock ticking, a fox barking somewhere in the distance, and for some reason, awkwardness washes over me. “I should probably go.”

Arms instantly wrap around me, hold me closer. “Stay.”

Those eyes, that face. How could anyone say no? I’m not that strong. “I’ll have to get back before they’re up.”

“I’ll set an alarm. I don’t want you to run off right after we had sex.”

Even though I’ve figured out Cooper Fox isn’t some snobby, egotistical actor, the fact he has this post-sex gentle side still surprises me.

“Let me ask you again, in the way I actually meant it. What brought you here tonight?”

The kisses to my cheek, my ear, they distract me, disarm me, my pulse racing as I try to think coherent thoughts.

“I … I’m not sure. I didn’t come here for this, I promise, I just … wanted to see you, I guess.”

It’s the truth. Although I’d spent all day with him, I wanted his company again. We get along, he makes me laugh, and being around him just makes me happy. It wasn’t something I thought would happen when he first arrived, and even now, I don’t quite understand just how two people from such different worlds can click the way we have. I’ve tried to fight it, but he makes it impossible, just by being him.

He pushes a stray hair from my face. “I wanted to see you too. I thought I might have ruined things earlier by trying to kiss you, wanted to talk to you about it.”

“Kind of a moot point,” I laugh. “We’ve done far worse now.”

“I’d hope it was better not worse,” he teases, hands once again roaming.

“Fishing for compliments, are you, Mr Movie Star?”

Instead of the chuckle I expect, he stills, eyes on me.

“What?” I ask.

He doesn’t answer, instead, he swings his legs out of bed and sits on the edge, head in hands. “Fuck”

I move, my chest against his back, wrap my arms around him, and rest my chin on his shoulder. “Cooper, what’s wrong?”

“This life. It’s messy and complicated and screws everything up. And I should protect you from it, not pull you into it. You’re too perfect to mess up with all that. Fuck.”

Seems I’ve just reminded him of his job, his lifestyle. One he seems to have trouble with.

“Hey,” I say as I shift around him, straddle his lap, trusting he’ll support me. “You know I don’t mean anything by it when I call you Mr Movie Star, right? It’s just teasing.”

“I know. And anyone else, I’d think you were only here because of who I am, but with you … I don’t know … I trust you.”

“Good. So, you want to tell me why the mini freak out and why you seem so disillusioned with your life right now?”

He kisses me on the nose. “You see right through me, don’t you?”

“It’s not hard, you’ve mentioned things you don’t like about your career, the pressure, the paparazzi, the constant promotion, not knowing who you can trust.”

He chuckles. “And you made me spill all that in just two days. What do you guys put in the water around here, truth serum?”

“The perils of fresh air, it opens you up.”

“Clearly. I don’t know why I’ve fallen out of love with it all. I just know that the last six or seven years has been non-stop, everyone wanting a piece of me, and it doesn’t feel like it used to.”

“You don’t enjoy acting anymore?”

“I love playing different roles, the mastery of the craft, but this industry comes with a lot of things you just have to accept. I should be grateful though, not everyone gets to do what they love, and I’m in favour at the moment, that could all change tomorrow.”

“Sounds like you might not miss it if it did.”

“You know, I probably wouldn’t, not right away anyway. But I’ve got this film to shoot, another starting once that wraps, and then months of promotion after that. Which is why I stressed out just then. I like you, and whatever happens now, if they find out we slept together, you get pulled into that merry-go-round of madness. Plus, I’ll be leaving soon, you deserve better than that.”

I should see the red flags here, see this as him telling me not to say anything about what happened between us, that he sees this as a one night only kind of deal. But, the way he holds me shows a tenderness I’ve never known, and hearing him talk like this, glassy eyed over how he could hurt me, it speaks to who he is, his character – and not one he’s playing either – his true character.

“First, I wanted this too, so no feeling guilty about what happened here tonight. We had sex, it was spectacular, we had fun, no regrets. Second, what happens if you step back from work, even if just for a while?”

He contemplates the question for a moment, strokes my hair, traces patterns on my lower back. “Worst case, I lose it all, fall out of favour, don’t get cast in roles because I become irrelevant. And then, I don’t get to act anymore.”

“Could you find something else you love? Not to take the place of acting, but to work alongside it. Like something you did for enjoyment. When was the last time you actually had fun?”

“About twenty minutes ago,” he grins. “Before that, I honestly can’t remember. Being here with you and Blossom and Clo, it’s made me feel refreshed, revived, like I belong somewhere.”

“After I stopped trying to get rid of you,” I mumble.

“We broke you of that within a day, you were protecting your home, I get that. It’s actually an attractive quality, your passion and loyalty, that dedication to something you believe in.”

A thought occurs to me then. “What if you had that? A sanctuary, somewhere remote that you could go to whenever you’re not working. A community that accepted you for you, that didn’t care who you were or what you did, only that you were a good neighbour, said good morning, made a fuss of their dog if you saw them on their morning walk.”

“Somewhere to come home to after filming that’s not some clinical penthouse apartment in the city?”

I get up and move towards the front door. “Exactly. Come with me.”

“You’re naked, you can’t go outside,” he replies.

“I’m only going onto the deck, who’s going to see me?”

He stares at me as I cross the room and open the door, bites his lip as moonlight floods in, bathing us both in soft, silvery shimmers. He could have a career in sprinting if the acting doesn’t last, because he’s with me in under a second, arms wrapping around me as I step outside.

“What are we looking at?” he asks.

I point across the fields. “Over there, you see the farmhouse, the cattle sheds?”

“Yeah.”

“It belongs to Thea and Harry Dagnall.”

He looks confused. “Okay, and they are?”

“You might know Harry better as Harry Delamere.”

“The actor?”

“Yep.”

“The guy from all the soaps?”

“Yep. His wife grew up not far from here, and when he was all over the tabloids for that one drunken night out, he took a step back, they bought themselves a dairy farm, and they’ve lived here, happily, for about twelve years now.”

“You suggesting I buy some cows?”

“No, idiot, I’m telling you that if you enjoy the life this kind of environment brings you, find somewhere like it, somewhere you get to go home to. Leave all your work pressures in the city, on the movie set, anywhere but your home.”

He stares up at the stars. “It is beautiful here. The view alone is exquisite.”

I twist in his arms to see he’s no longer looking at the stars. “You could always come back and visit, you know, when you weren’t filming, so you didn’t have to commit to buying somewhere, could see how the life suits you, whether the balance works.”

The silence that follows has me second guessing my offer. I don’t know what I was thinking in the first place, we’ll probably never see each other once filming is over.

A slow grin spreads across his face. “Tulip Springfield, did you just ask me to go steady?”

“No! I offered you a glamping pod when you weren’t working, maybe a dinner or two,” I reply, the blush turning my cheeks to fire.

“Shame. I might have said yes.”

“You hardly know me.”

“I know enough.”

I can’t look at him, there’s far too much combustible heat. I should be wary. I should be careful. But look at him, he’s perfection personified.

“Now,” he growls into my ear. “How confident are you that nobody will see us out here? I’m thinking about you leaning on that railing and letting me worship your body.”

Fuck. How’s a girl supposed to resist that? I just have to remember what this is and not let my heart get involved. Easy, right?