26. Ash

CHAPTER 26

ASH

I groan as my phone beeps. A part of me hopes it's Kayla.

I find my phone in my bed and flip it over. It's Justin, one of my teammates. He wants to know if I'm coming out again tonight. I sigh. Usually, I would jump at the chance, but it hasn't felt the same since I got back.

If I stay in my apartment, though, I'm just going to think about her, so I may as well go out.

I spend most of the day in the gym. It's how I'm working out my frustrations because practice hasn't started yet.

I wish hockey training was back. I used to dread pre-season training, but I feel stronger than ever after my time at the ranch.

After wasting days now watching sports reruns, it's finally time for me to go out.

I head over to the club, making sure I go through the back exit so I don't get photographed. I plan on sticking to my promise to keep a low profile, but I still want to have fun.

The beat pulses through the club, and I let the noise drown out my thoughts as I make a beeline for the bar. They have table service in the VIP area, which is where I'm headed after, but I always feel like a douche not getting my own drink.

I can't remember if I've been here before — most of the clubs blur together. I grab a beer and head up to the VIP section.

The guard recognizes me and lets me through. The VIP area is lavish with black décor, gold accents, and warm lighting. I scan the area looking for a familiar face. Spotting half the team over in a booth, I make my way towards them.

Suddenly, a tall blonde steps in front of me. "Hey, sexy. Where have you been hiding?"

I step back and try to shrug her hand off. Usually it wouldn't bother me, but lately I haven't liked it when girls get too handsy.

Even the guys have said they've noticed a change in me. I'm not lapping up the attention and the ladies like I used to.

Having a few drinks and partying the night away doesn't feel satisfying anymore.

The truth is, I've felt lost without Kayla. I've been thinking about how I should've at least hugged her goodbye. If I was brave, I could've kissed her goodbye and told her how I feel about her. I couldn't do it, though. Not with Jack standing there.

I was so worried about my loyalty to Jack that I hurt the girl of my dreams.

I've been thinking about it a lot, and it was a no-win situation. Even if I did kiss her and tell her how I felt, I was still leaving. There was no point in telling her, because it would've hurt her more. At least, that's how I'm justifying it.

I know I'm a coward. I hate myself for how I treated her.

I've been doing everything possible to drown her out. My usual avoidance tactics aren't working, though. It's like I don't find joy in the same things.

The girl snaps her fingers in front of my face. "Earth to Ash."

I spring back, realizing I'm standing in front of a girl. I'm pretty sure her name is Alexis. "Sorry, Lexi. What's up?"

She narrows her eyes. "Are you okay? Usually we'd be making out by now."

I eye her ridiculously tight dress. The only thing I can think is that Kayla would look hot in it.

I sigh. "Uh. Just a bit off. Raincheck?"

She nods and smiles. "Anytime, handsome." She runs one of her fingers down my arm and leans close.

I peck her on the cheek and walk off. I swear I hear her gasp.

I've been blowing off women since I returned, but I've been trying not to make it obvious in front of the guys. I don't want them to start asking questions.

If they found out I'd hooked up with Jack's sister, they would never shut up about it. It would find its way back to Jack. He can't know. I can't risk my friendship with him.

Justin and Mitch make room for me in the booth.

Aaron slaps me on the shoulder. "There he is. Dude, what roids were you taking while you disappeared?"

I laugh. "For the hundredth time, I didn't take anything. Spend a day on a ranch and your ass would be toast."

He scoffs. "Sure."

Justin leans forward. "So, it was just you and Jack on a ranch — doing what?"

I roll my eyes. "We've been over this. Chopping wood, mucking out stalls, cattle drives, restoring cabins."

Mitch narrows his eyes at me. "But Jack wasn't at the bar with you. We saw the pictures."

I try to laugh it off. "Who do you think was taking the pictures?"

The boys all burst out laughing, and I'm glad I've dodged the bullet, yet again. They are all suspicious about my story. Given my odd behavior since I've returned, I don't blame them.

Aaron kicks me under the table. "You must have at least fallen off a horse or something."

I try not to laugh. "Maybe. Blaze just needed a minute to get used to me."

They all laugh.

I roll my eyes. "Enough of this nonsense. Let's talk about Sullivan's birthday. What are we doing?"

Justin gives me a strange look and holds up his phone. "Why did Dana just say you blew Alexis off?"

Ugh . I forgot that word around here travels fast. It's not quite like Kayla's town, but it feels similar. Great, now I'm referring to it as "Kayla's town."

Back in Camarillo Plains, at least we had some sense of privacy. Not every detail was broadcast to the world.

Aaron raises a brow. "Yeah, man, you've been weird since you got back."

Mitch slaps the table. "Are you and Jack an item? I knew it! You were so close in college."

I roll my eyes. "You guys are idiots."

Justin looks at me like he's trying to look into my soul. "No. He gets more tail than anyone ." He gasps. "I know! Did our little Ash meet someone in that small hick town?"

All the boys start firing off questions. Suddenly, I miss my quiet apartment.