6. Ben

Chapter 6

Ben

It’s a little funny how freaked out Charlie looks. I knew there was something vaguely familiar about the sassy twink the moment I saw him, but never in my wildest dreams did I think he might be the little brother of my best friend.

But as I watch him stumble through a very redacted recount of our night together on Halloween, I can’t help but smile. A black ghost from your past , the fortune teller told me. She wasn’t wrong.

Charlie was a cutie back when we were kids. Wide-eyed like a puppy, always trying to join in whatever Ethan, Ana and I were doing. And now? I give him a slow once over, feasting on every lovely feature as a thrill of heat slithers through my insides. He’s grown up to be absolutely gorgeous. It’s no wonder I couldn’t keep my hands off him.

“Ooh! I can’t believe this. What were you even doing at a haunted house, Charlie?” Ethan asks, guiding my attention back to the conversation.

Charlie shrugs, fidgeting in his seat. “Trying to get over my fear or something? Greg and Trish don’t know about… And I thought it might be a good opportunity to make some progress?” He aims a hard look my way, but it’s not unfriendly. “I had no idea Ben is in the UK or that he works there.”

“You work at a theme park?” my friend turns to me.

“Nah. Like I said, I just subbed in for a day. Was doing Terrance a favor.”

We slip into a catch up, taking turns to probe each other. I learn that Charlie is a professional gamer who makes a rather good chunk of money doing what he’s always loved. Like me, he’s let his sibling deal with the family business while he’s pursuing his own passion. I’m glad.

We both manage to act mostly normal throughout lunch, though Charlie keeps throwing strange looks my way. They are a mix of curiosity, interest and annoyance. I guess it’s a little awkward that we hooked up, but it’s not like either of us knew who the other was. I’m sure he understands that.

Still, he keeps the glares up even as we finish our desserts and head back. When we reach the parking lot, Ethan gets a work call—some kind of emergency that requires his attention—and leaves the two of us with a promise to call tomorrow so we can spend more time together like the old times.

“Right, uh, it was nice seeing you, Ben,” Charlie says once his brother’s white SUV is no longer in sight. He averts his eyes when I turn to him and spins on his heel. “Have a good day.”

I halt him before he’s made a run for it, grasping his arm. “Hold up, Charlie. Did I do something? You were scowling at me the entire time.”

He tenses a little, but then relaxes. I plant myself next to him, cradle his head, and tilt it up so we can look at each other. He positively squirms , a hint of rosiness visible in his cheeks. Is he embarrassed? Warmth floods my chest, turning molten as it travels further across me. God, he’s adorable. I could eat him up right here and now.

Except I shouldn’t because he’s my best friend’s little brother.

“N-no. Aside from, you know…” He takes a deep inhale, aiming those soul-haunting blue eyes at me. “We fucked?”

A shudder goes through me at his words, leaving me breathless. We did. And it was the best sex I’ve ever had. Granted, I haven’t had much of it, because it takes a lot for me to want someone like that. But my body’s been on fire since that night, the flames wild and relentless and burning me alive.

“We didn’t know. And besides, we are both adults now.” I stroke his cheek—the urge to touch him too strong to reel in—reveling in the feel of his soft skin and the way his eyes flutter closed for a heartbeat. “It’s no one else’s business but ours.”

He purses his lips, the action making me want to pepper them with teasing kisses before I push them apart and claim his mouth. “I guess, but… You are Ethan’s Ben. And I’m his brother. It’s weird if we… did it again. What if he finds out?”

I push down another wave of desire, satisfaction pulsing under my skin. Does this mean he wants to do it again? I suck in air through my nose, catching his scent. It’s dark and inviting, arousing even more heat within me. It stirs memories too, ones I have tried hard to forget and bury.

“What if he does?”

His sky-blue depths pierce right through me, anxious and warring. He’s fighting something on the inside, some battle I have no right to know about it would seem. But I want to. I never thought I’d see Charlie again, that I might have him in my life. I had no reason to. He was my best friend’s kid brother, two years younger than me. We knew each other through Ethan.

“I don’t know. I just—” he cuts himself off, pulling on his lip. “I didn’t plan to see you again.”

I had such a suspicion. And I was okay with it, mostly. But after today? There is no way I am letting this cute little fox slip from between my fingers. Not in a million chances.

Because I have a secret. One that I haven’t told anyone, not even Ana.

I had a crush on Charlie. I don’t know when I even realized it, but by the time I was seventeen, I was legit pining after my best friend’s brother. I thought it was fucked up, so I kept it bottled up. I wasn’t planning to say anything, hoped it would go away on its own. But it didn’t. So I decided to tell him once he was older.

I never got the chance. We moved to Australia the next year, right before his birthday.

“Why?” I whisper, leaning in as I trace my mouth along his ear. “We had such a good time. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.”

He trembles, exhaling sharply. “Me, too. I can’t stop thinking about the way your cock felt inside me,” he whimpers, his moany, gaspy voice threatening to undo me in the middle of a freaking parking lot. I go from hard to extra hard from his words, zaps of electricity crawling across my back. Just as I am reaching for his bulge, he pushes me away, panting and livid. “But you are Ben, Ethan’s best friend. And um, I only do casual now. Friends with benefits. I don’t date because love is a scam. So, uh, I think it’s best that we didn’t see each other again.”

My mind races, trying to keep up. He doesn’t date… Love is a scam… I latch onto those, the statements throwing me into an even bigger frenzy. Does that mean he wants to date me, but doesn’t want to because… he doesn’t believe I could be serious about him? Where is this coming from? It’s some very skewed logic, and I have no idea why his smart mind has even gone there, but he couldn’t be more wrong.

My mouth stretches into a smile. I can’t help it. He drives me crazy. “No.”

He frowns, lines creasing his forehead. “ No ?”

I tuck my hands into my pockets, leaning against the side of a car. “No. I’m not backing off, Charlie. You do only friends-with-benefits? Fine by me. I don’t know what happened to you or what made you believe such silly stuff, but I’m not making the same mistake again. I’ve wanted you for a very long time. I tried to forget you, to move on. And then you pop into my life, like some ghost haunting me from my past.” I grin, yearning to wrap my arms around him and squish him until the suspicion in his eyes leaves. But I don’t. I’m up against a bristled cat, I can feel it. I need to approach with caution.

“What are you talking about?” he protests, but even so, his voice is a little breathless and his eyes searching.

“You liked me, didn’t you?”

He gapes at me, jaw hanging and cheeks red. “That’s not—”

I arch an eyebrow.

He groans, looking like he wants to be anywhere but here with me. “We were kids, okay? It’s in the past.”

Is it though? Then why say all those things? Why explain the reason he doesn’t want to hook up or date me? Why flush even more and avert his gaze?

It clicks then, why he was giving me the evil eye earlier. It’s because of this. It’s some kind of conflict he’s dealing with on the inside, something that’s preventing him from enjoying this second chance at us that we are being given.

Well, it’s a good thing I’m a great problem-solver, then, isn’t it?

I walk over to him and enter his personal space. “Are you free tonight?”

He looks ready to bolt. “No, I have a tournament. Why?”

That’s… actually pretty cool. “Text me your address. I’m coming over.”

“Wait, you are? Why?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” I say and lean down, nipping the tip of his ear. “I want to watch you play. I bet you are hot as fuck when you are in gamer mode. I’ll give you a reward if you win.”

He’s speechless for a few moments, the air around us heavy with tension. God, I hope I didn’t push too far. But if I want a real go at us, I need to make things happen or he’ll just push me away.

“But I haven’t agreed to any of this,” he points out, glowering.

I shrug casually, pretending I’m not on the edge of my seat. I don’t know what I’ll do if he turns me down. “If you want out, now is your chance. So, what will it be?”

He frowns, chewing on his lip. I want to kiss him. I barely manage not to.

“Okay,” he breathes out just as I am starting to think that cornering him was a terrible idea and I should’ve tried to get him used to me first. “But it’s just sex. I was serious about the love thing, okay? So you don’t have to pretend to be into me or anything. I won’t fall for it.”

There is a story there, I can tell. The conviction and distaste that crosses over Charlie’s face makes that clear as day. Some asshole must’ve fucked up royally to give this lovely man such an evil streak. Or maybe he’s always had it, hidden and locked. Either way, it’s hot.

“Fine. I promise I won’t pretend to like you.”

Because I already do.