CHAPTER 15

“Thanks, Margo. I appreciate the ball to the face,” DJ joked as she wiped at her nose to check for blood.

“Sorry. My bad,” Margo replied.

They had a few people they called sometimes to work out together when they wanted to practice against another team. Margo and Whitney were usually first up on their list because they’d just retired and weren’t on the tour, so Aspen and DJ didn’t have to worry about giving any secrets away anymore, and the two women also wanted to stay in the game and in shape, so they were usually available for early morning practices as long as they didn’t have to get to their coaching jobs early themselves. Margo had just taken over as an assistant coach of a college beach team, and Whitney was the new head coach for a high school indoor team. They were great to play off of, and when they’d been players on the tour, they’d given Aspen and DJ a few matches to worry about.

“You said you wanted us to play for real,” Whitney added.

“Yeah. Yeah.”

When DJ had gone up for the swing, Margo had promptly blocked her, and the ball had gone straight back into DJ’s face. She was fine, though, and there was no blood to stop them from playing.

“Can we run through a few serves?” Aspen asked, walking back to the service line. “I want to finish with that.”

“Yeah, sure,” Whitney replied. “Hey, Margo and I were invited to this dinner thing tonight. Do you two want to go? It’s at Queso Fresco, so not at someone’s house or anything.”

“Who’s going to be there?” DJ asked.

“You need more than just me and Whit?” Margo asked with a smirk.

“No, I just want to know what I’m getting myself into. I might not like the people who’ll be there.”

“Like who? Chase?” Margo teased. “No, that can’t be right because you really like Chase.”

“Shut up.” DJ laughed.

Aspen smiled and readied her serve.

“It’s a bunch of former players, mainly, with a few still on the tour, whoever happens to be in town and available tonight. Technically, it’s someone’s birthday, which is why we’re doing it, but I forgot whose birthday it is, so we’re just going to go and hang out,” Whitney explained.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” DJ replied.

“Chase will be there, you know?”

“He will?” DJ asked, suddenly very interested.

“Um… Service,” Aspen reminded them loudly, trying to get everyone to pay attention to the remainder of their practice.

When they wrapped it up, they left with DJ confirming her attendance at the party that night and Aspen saying that she was a maybe. After all, Aspen’s crush wasn’t going to be there, unlike DJ’s very obvious one that almost everyone on tour knew about. Chase Cunningham was newly single, too, after ending a relationship with his girlfriend and making sure everyone on tour knew that he was available. Aspen wasn’t his number one fan because there was typically only one reason why a guy would blast that he was available like that in a tent full of players, and that wasn’t because he was looking for another serious relationship.

“So, you’re worried?” Kendra asked.

Aspen was standing on one side of her fence, and Kendra was leaning over the other. After her practice, Aspen had gone home to get in some gym time and have lunch, but she’d heard someone outside and had looked out the back window. Seeing nothing but still hearing strange sounds, she’d walked outside and noticed Kendra on her patio, which Aspen couldn’t see from her window. Kendra was setting up the new grill she’d just bought, which made Aspen smile because she was pretty sure Kendra had expedited that purchase just so they could share a meal she planned to cook on it. She’d called out, and Kendra had joined her at the fence where Aspen had caught her up on her morning.

“I’m not worried-worried. I just don’t think he wants what she wants, you know? DJ’s had a thing for him for a while now, but he had a girlfriend, and now, he’s acting like he’s just earned his freedom from prison or something, making sure every woman knows that he’s available. I’m pretty sure he’s hooked up with a few players already. And DJ likes him; she doesn’t just want sex.”

“She’s an adult, though, right?”

“Yeah. But she’s also my friend and my partner, so if something happens and it impacts her game, I’m in trouble.”

“Just going to some party tonight doesn’t mean that something’s going to happen,” Kendra reasoned. “Besides, did she specifically tell you that she wasn’t interested in just sex with him or anyone?”

“No, but she told me she was ready for a relationship.”

“Maybe she is while also being up for something else, too. Assuming she hasn’t said that she doesn’t want to just hook up with Chase, you probably need to just let her do whatever she’s going to do and hope for the best.”

“Yeah, I know.” Aspen sighed and leaned over the fence. “I wasn’t going to do anything to try to stop her. I was just debating if it would be best to stay home and not go myself, or go to be there for her in case she needs me.”

“What would she need you for?”

Aspen laughed softly and replied, “Okay. Good point. DJ is way better at making friends than I am. And she’s a total extravert, so she’ll find people to talk to in any room.”

“You’re not like that?” Kendra asked. “That surprises me about you.”

“How, exactly?” she asked back, really wanting to know that answer.

“I don’t know. You just seem to enjoy having people around. I always see you talking to someone new whenever I’m working.”

“That’s because I’m working,” Aspen replied.

“I don’t–”

“Kendra, I’m on. That’s how I view it. When I’m at a tournament, whether I’m on the court, being interviewed by you, or in the tent before my next match, I’m on. I have to be. We’re on the beach – everyone can see inside that tent when that flap is open. So, if I look annoyed, upset, bored, uninterested, or something else, and someone sees that, suddenly, I’m an asshole, arrogant, or just there to play and not socialize because I think I’m better than everyone else. When I have to leave that tent to go to the bathroom or get food, I’m right there in the open with fans and press and other players. If I’m not on, I risk fans being disappointed, players thinking I’m a dick, and the press, aka people like you, reporting that I’ve got an attitude. The male players don’t have the same problem, but the female ones do. We have to be on all the time. The moment I’m in a car alone, though, or with DJ and a driver, or even other players I know who get it, I turn it off. When I get to my hotel room, and it’s either just me or me and DJ, I’m quiet, reserved, scrolling social media, running through our mistakes that day, or listening to music or something. I told you, I don’t go out much these days. But even when I did a few years ago, that wasn’t something I did because it came naturally. I did it because everyone else was, and I thought I had to. Yeah, I had fun sometimes. It’s not that I don’t have fun. It’s just that the world was made for people like DJ, the extraverted folks who love that kind of life. It wasn’t made for the people who enjoy a quiet night in or who don’t want to socialize at work. You know the funny thing?”

“What?” Kendra asked almost gently.

“Everyone always expects of the introverts to be the ones to bend or change. They tell us we’re too quiet or too shy, that we shouldn’t want to spend time alone or at home because we’re missing out on things. We spend years of our lives listening to that stuff and feeling like we’re less than, not right somehow, or that we need to change. But no one has ever asked the more extraverted among us to maybe make the world more comfortable for people like you and me. Imagine if they did, and they just let us be instead of pressuring us to attend things to fit in – we might actually want to go to a party or a restaurant every so often and feel better about staying home when we need to recharge.”

Kendra seemed a little taken aback, but she nodded.

“You said you and me,” she spoke finally.

“Yeah, you and me. You’re like me, aren’t you? You’re on when you need to be, but when you don’t, you’re at home sipping coffee by yourself or putting together a new grill.” Aspen nodded toward the patio. “You’re totally content on your own.”

“That’s true, I guess.”

“So, want to come with me?”

“What?”

“Tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“To the dinner thing. You don’t have to, of course. Up to you. DJ is going, so I do think I should be there for her, even if it’s just for her to talk to if Chase turns her down or goes home with someone else. I have no idea what’s going to happen there, but I am DJ’s closest friend on tour, so if she needs me there, I should be, you know?”

“Spoken like a true introvert who needs to be there for her extraverted friend. What about that empowering speech you just gave?” Kendra asked, teasing Aspen a little.

“It’s still empowering. I just don’t want DJ to be sad, and if she is, I want to be there for her.”

“You are a really good person, Aspen Ashley.” Kendra smiled. “And I’ll go with you, if you want.”

“Yeah?” she asked, smiling back wide.

“Sure. I’m not staying late or anything, though.”

“Me neither. Want to ride together? You can be my excuse.”

“Your what?”

“You have to get up early or something, and I drove us, so I’m your ride back home – my excuse for leaving whenever we want.”

“Oh, sure. Okay.”

“Not that I’m using you for that. That’s not what–”

“It’s okay, Aspen. I actually want to go.”

“You do?”

“Honestly, I liked being on the beach and just playing around with you and DJ. It’s the first time I’ve done that in a very long time. So, I like the idea of hanging out with some players tonight. Do you think it’ll be weird for them, though, with me there?”

“No. Why would it be?”

“I interview them for matches.”

“Kendra, we literally compete with each other in the mornings for money and, sometimes, points to qualify for things like the Olympics that most of us dream about getting to, and then hang out at night like nothing happened that day. No one is going to care about you being there. And I mean that in a good way.”

“Okay,” Kendra replied.

Around seven that night, Aspen exited her garage and found Kendra walking toward her driveway.

“Jesus, she’s gorgeous,” she said to herself from the safety of her car.

She wanted to get out, meet Kendra halfway, tell her how beautiful she was, and open the car door for her like this was a date, but she didn’t. She sat still and waited for Kendra to get in because this wasn’t a date.

Kendra was wearing a black pleated skirt with a white button-down shirt, and Aspen now understood why she had the buttons connected all the way to the top. She’d noticed her doing that before but had assumed it was because she’d been on camera for work and wanted to appear professional or something or that the network required that. To Aspen, that scar was part of Kendra’s story, her war that she’d fought and won, but to Kendra, it was a reminder of the things she’d once hoped for and lost.

“Hey,” Kendra said when she climbed in.

“Hey. Ready?”

“Yeah, is this okay? What I’m wearing? I didn’t know if it was something casual or if I should dress up.”

“It’s… more than okay,” Aspen replied, trying not to look at Kendra’s legs.

“You went casual, though,” Kendra noted.

“I pretty much always go casual unless otherwise ordered.” Aspen looked down at her jeans, her sandals that, at least, weren’t flip-flops, and her band T-shirt that had been dropped off by her mom the other day.

She’d forgotten the box of old clothes she’d kept at her parents’ place before moving into her house, so when her mom had brought it over, Aspen had pulled out item after item, washed them, and then tonight, decided to wear this particular shirt she remembered she’d bought at Hot Topic in college.

“Do I look bad or something?” she asked, worrying that maybe she should go inside and change.

“No, you–” Kendra looked her up and down. “You look good; like you’re way cooler than me.” She laughed a little.

“No way. You’re way cooler than me. You own grown-up clothes like a skirt with pleats, and you’ve managed to make it not wrinkle or look flat. That’s way cooler than an old T-shirt and jeans.”

“You know you’re a grown-up, though, right?”

“Yeah.” Aspen laughed.

“So, what you’re wearing are grown-up clothes by default,” Kendra pointed out.

“Should we go?” Aspen asked, aiming her smile at Kendra.

“Yes. Let’s,” she replied and wiped her hands up and down her skirt.

“Are you nervous or something?”

“Yes, I am,” Kendra told her. “You can tell? I’m not doing a good job of hiding it, then.”

“Why? They’re just a bunch of beach bums like me.” Aspen put the car in reverse.

“Exactly,” Kendra replied.

Aspen smiled and chose not to say anything. It felt like Kendra’s one-word response should just sit there because if Aspen had understood it properly, it meant that Kendra was nervous around her. It wasn’t because of the players they were about to hang out with or the fact that Kendra interviewed them and maybe felt a bit like an outsider trying to sit with the cool kids at lunch. It was because she was nervous about hanging out with Aspen.

Aspen tried not to smirk at the idea of making this woman nervous, and she had no right to do it anyway because Kendra made her nervous, too, but it took everything in her not to reach out and pull Kendra’s hand into her lap for the rest of the drive.