17. Kelly

Kelly

B etsy's words warmed me more than I would have expected. I didn't want or need her admiration, but I still liked having it. Only someone who'd experienced an eating disorder could fully appreciate what it was like, how horrible it was having your whole life be focused on what to eat or what not to eat, calories in and calories out. And then there was the terrible sense of shame that lingered, no matter how much therapy I did.

"What do you do for work?" I asked, realizing that we'd never discussed it.

"I'm a teacher," Betsy said proudly.

"Gym?"

"Kindergarten."

I looked at her in surprise. "I don't know why, but I wouldn't have pegged you as a kid person."

"I'm an educator," she corrected. "And the littles are my favorite to educate. Everything is new and exciting to them. Standing in line for the cafeteria. Using scissors. Learning the hokey pokey. I love it."

I could hear the passion in her voice and felt a bit wistful about my own job. I'd fallen into my commissioned sales job right after college, and even though it sucked and paid shit, I'd let inertia keep me there way longer than I should have. I resolved to find a new job as soon as I got back to the states. Right after I figured out where I was going to live.

We talked easily for the next hour, until we were both cracking our jaws yawning and sleepily mumbling our words.

"We should go to bed," I said, realizing I was too exhausted to even leave the room and make my way to the shared bathroom to brush my teeth. Oh well, I'd brush extra long tomorrow.

Silence greeted me, and I could see from the soft rise and fall of Betsy's chest that she'd fallen asleep. I tiptoed over and pulled the edges of her comforter around her, then turned off both of our lights and followed her into sleep.

We both slept in the next day and I woke up groggy. I beelined for the bathroom as soon as I woke up, peeing, showering, and then brushing my teeth until they gleamed.

I felt gross and bloated from eating so much sugar last night, and while past me would have decided today was a good day to do a water fast, current me knew I needed protein and fluids. Betsy was still sound asleep when I came back from the bathroom, so I headed down the cafeteria, filled up a couple of to-go containers with breakfast foods, and slid four cups of coffee into a cardboard carrier to bring back to the room.

"Morning," she grumbled as I came back to the room, carefully balancing everything. Based on her scratchy voice and closed eyes, she was still waking up.

"I have coffee," I announced in a sing-song voice.

She popped right up to seated, then groaned. "Hold that thought, I really need to pee."

She returned a few minutes later, her hairline damp from washing her face.

I handed her a cup and she said, "Gimme gimme!"

"I brought us each two cups," I laughed. "And some breakfast too."

She sat next to me on my bed, and I pushed over her container of food. I'd filled it with ham and eggs, potatoes, fruit, a cheesy tartine , and some baked beans.

"Damn, this is perfect, thanks."

We ate in companionable silence for a few minutes before Betsy jolted next to me. "Oh my God, I was supposed to kiss you last night."

"I thought it was going to be a mutual thing," I said.

"Honestly I was so tired I forgot all about it."

"I did too, but it's not like there's an expiration date on the offer, right?"

"Right."

"Plus it's better when it's spontaneous."

We were both quiet as we finished our breakfast. After we were done eating, I stacked our empties in a bag and set it by the door so we would remember to take it when we left. There was no trash can in our tiny room, but even if there was, we wouldn't want the smell of old food stinking up our room.

"What are you going to do now?" I asked Betsy, who was still sitting on my bed.

"This," she said as she grabbed my wrist and pulled me down on the narrow bed.

She pushed me onto my back and spread out next to me on her side, shoved between my body and the wall.

"You've got to stop dragging me down onto beds," I teased as she lifted her head up onto her hand, her elbow bent on the mattress.

"I kind of like it," she replied. "Besides, you wanted spontaneous."

We stared at each other for a long, pregnant moment before Betsy reached out her hand and stroked my cheek with gentle fingers. "Your skin is so soft."

I raised my own hand and slid it up her cheek to her forehead, then down the other side.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking to see if yours is too," I said with a wink.

We both laughed softly, then we turned serious. Betsy slowly, very slowly, lowered her face to mine. When her lips finally pressed against mine I knew one thing for certain: that last kiss was no fluke.