Chapter 30

“I told you we could go over everything on video call. There was no need to come out in this weather.” Luca took Alex’s soaked raincoat from him and hung it on the hook on the back of the door, just as a rumble of thunder rolled in from the sea. The last vestiges of summer had given way to autumn, which had crashed in with a vengeance.

“Rather speak face to face.” Alex sat down on the sofa and helped himself to the coffee Luca had ready.

Luca glanced at Alex as he placed his laptop on the small table for their meeting. Their impromptu meeting, and one that wasn’t even remotely necessary. Opening up the spreadsheets and documents which told the hotel’s very happy and profitable story, Luca threw his friend another quick glance. Alex was uncomfortable beneath his exterior calm coolness. Small signs, which would be invisible to most, were to Luca as clear and bold as black paint sprayed on a white wall.

It took no time to go through it all, and they were done before they’d finished their second cup of coffee. Luca closed everything down, sat back and waited for Alex to make the first move. He didn’t have to wait long.

“I wanted to check in with you. See that everything’s okay. I’d have done it sooner, but I had to go to Edinburgh. That bloody development has been a pain in the backside,” Alex grumbled. “It’s been taking every waking hour?—”

“Alex. Just cut the BS and tell me why you feel the need to ‘check in’ with me?” Luca smiled. No doubt it looked as forced and strained as it felt; Alex could read him as much as he could read Alex.

“Okay. Coming here was a ruse. Should have realised you’d see through it.” He angled his body towards Luca. “Adrian. He’s the reason I’m here. Being blunt about it, I want to know if you’re all right.”

Blunt. Hadn’t he had enough of the men in his life being blunt with him?

“I’m fine. And really, there was no need for you to come and check on me. He was mortified, and he’s sorry about his reaction to?—”

“His reaction to what, exactly? All we were talking about was a long weekend away. Him jumping down your throat the way he did wasn’t quite what I was expecting from the suggestion of sun, sea, and sangria.”

Luca sighed. He knew Alex well enough to know he wouldn’t let this go.

“You told him about us. Our history.”

“So? History’s the right word. What we were then isn’t what we are now. And he knows that.” Alex’s eyes narrowed. “Doesn’t he?”

Luca slumped back into the sofa’s soft cushions, and groaned. “Well, he does now. And it came of something of a surprise.”

“For fuck’s sake, Lu. You hadn’t told him? Why not?” Alex stared at him as though Luca had lost his mind.

“I wasn’t being secretive or evasive with him. The reason I didn’t tell Adrian about us was because I didn’t think there was anything to tell. It was so long ago, it’s almost like it never happened.”

“Nice to know, Luca.” Incredulity turned to peevishness.

Luca swore silently. He had one touchy man in his life, he didn’t need two.

“He was pissed off?—”

“I get why, even if you don’t. Hearing about it from his boyfriend’s ex, over a drink, isn’t exactly ideal is it? I put my foot in it, and I’m sorry for that. But come on, Lu. I’m your employer, we work closely together, we socialise. We have a history — conveniently forgotten or not — so don’t you think telling him might have been the smart thing to do?” Alex’s brows arched, inviting Luca’s response.

“Yes, I suppose.”

For a moment they said nothing, the silence broken only by the steady beat of rain against the window.

“I was taken aback by his reaction. There was something aggressive about it. More understandable now I’ve got the full picture, but it still bothers me,” Alex said quietly.

“What exactly are you trying to say?”

A light flush coloured Alex’s cheeks. A flush, light or otherwise, never coloured Alex’s cheeks.

“Look, I just don’t want to see you getting hurt again. In any way.”

Luca blinked as Alex’s words sunk in. “You think he’d harm me? That he’s a danger?”

“Lu, that’s not?—”

“But it is, though, isn’t it? Christ, Alex. Do you think I’d be fool enough to let myself get into a situation like that, let alone remain in it?”

He stared at Alex, at the redness deepening by the second, not knowing whether to be angry, shocked, upset or incredulous. One thing he did know, and that was that he had to reassure his oldest friend — and set him straight.

“Adrian is not what you’re suggesting. Not in a million years. He’s blunt, and he’ll attack first if he thinks he has to. Life, as far as Adrian’s concerned, is black or white. I know all that. It’s part of who he is, but it’s only one part. The other, that’s for me to know.” Luca squeezed his friend’s arm. “Don’t think what you’re thinking. Please. Because there’s no need to.”

“Okay, okay. I trust you, and you know that. But his reaction, for all you’ve said, still bothers me. I’m not going to pretend otherwise.”

Luca puffed out a long breath. It wasn’t his story to tell, and it wasn’t any of Alex’s business. But Alex, past lover, present friend and the brother Luca had always wanted, was concerned. Luca needed to allay Alex’s disquiet.

“I know why he reacted like he did. It doesn’t mean I have to condone it, but I can understand it. Or mostly.”

“How do you mean?”

Luca hesitated. It was his last chance to say nothing, but he’d already gone too far, further than he should have.

“When Adrian returned to take over the family farm, he brought somebody with him.” No names, no details, only the broadest outlines; enough, he prayed, to stop any further questions. “It went wrong. There was somebody else involved on — the boyfriend’s part. Adrian told me he was the last to know. It’s made it hard for him to trust.” Don’t even go there with his brother…

Alex fell back into the sofa. “And me casually dropping it into the conversation about you and me?—”

“That’s pretty much what he said. It made him the last to know. Again.”

“I suppose it does put a different spin on things. But for all that, it doesn’t stop me from feeling edgy. I can’t help it. Because I don’t want you going through any more crap. Everything that happened with Bruno, which wasn’t really that long ago?—”

“Bruno? What’s he got to do with anything?”

“You were knocked sideways by what happened.”

“I was. Yes, you’re right. Was. Past tense. I have, as they say, moved on. And I have moved on. With Adrian. Touchy, difficult Adrian. He made a fool of himself. It was embarrassing for everybody, but I unwittingly laid the groundwork for it by not telling him about you and me.” Luca held up his hand to stop the interruption he saw coming. “Before you say anything, no, I’m not shouldering any of the blame for what happened. Adrian’s behaviour was down to him and him alone. But, yes, in hindsight, I can understand it — mostly. He now knows the situation between you and me. Most of all, he knows I’m not anything like the guy he came back here with. Maybe now you can see why I don’t need some kind of Save Luca intervention.”

“I’ll always be ready to jump in to save you, whether you like it or not.”

Not even a year ago he’d been standing on quicksand. Being dragged under, he’d been only too ready to be pulled to safety by the lifeline Alex had thrown him. But that was then. Now, he was back on solid ground.

“Alex, life’s good. It’s good with Adrian. Scouts honour.”

“You told me you only ever went to Scouts once, declaring you were never going back because the boys were too ugly and spotty.”

Luca laughed. “I was too young and shallow to see that true beauty lies within.” His laughter died, turning into a tiny smile.

“Like Adrian, you mean?”

Luca nodded. “Yes, like Adrian.”

Alex sucked on his lower lip. He had more to say, and Luca waited.

“Look, you were clear that the reason you were staying on at The New House was because of Adrian. I was relieved, not just because I wasn’t losing my hot shot manager, but also because I’d still have my friend around. But they were small considerations, because most of all I was relieved that you were happy. That you were laughing again. That you’d returned to being the man you were before everything hit the fan. And if Adrian was the cause of it all, then great. But?—”

“But what?” Luca’s shoulders twitched.

“If Adrian is still holding onto everything that happened to him, if he can’t fully and freely trust, how long are you going to be happy for?”

“He trusts me. And he knows I’m nothing like his former boyfriend.”

“He might know it up here.” Alex tapped the side of his head. “But what about in his gut, and in his heart?”

“So what are you saying? That I should back off and run as fast as I can because Adrian’s an unstable time bomb just waiting to explode?

“No, that’s not?—”

“What happened to him would knock anybody’s trust in human nature. But we’ve talked it through, we’ve laid it all on the table. He knows he reacted badly, that he can’t see us — him and me — through the lens of what happened in the past.”

Luca massaged his temples. He was tired and wanted only for this awkward, unwanted conversation to be over with. He met Alex’s gaze.

“I know what I’m doing. Adrian’s who I want to be with. I’ve no illusions about the kind of man he is. I know what he’s like but just as importantly, so does he. Alex, I know you came here with the best of intentions, but seriously? I don’t need a protector.”

“Okay. Message received loud and clear.” Alex got up and squeezed Luca’s shoulder before he opened the door to leave. “You may not need a protector, but you may just need a friend. Don’t forget that.”

Luca stared at the door, long after it’d closed with a soft click, Alex’s words echoing in his head.