51 - FINN

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

J oin us as we begin anew?

"Finn?" My mother's smile is cautious as she comes towards me with arms extended. She takes my hands in hers. "You have questions, I'm sure."

The only response I have is a huff.

"I know this is all very unexpected. It's your father's fault."

Suddenly I have words. "How the hell do you figure that?" It comes out angry. Which is becoming a familiar feeling for me since my father died, but is completely at odds with who my mother thought I was.

So she hesitates. Reevaluates.

"He called them in, you know that right?" Her blue eyes are searching mine when she twists the knife in my back. Figuratively, of course. Though it doesn't feel at all figurative in my opinion. "He called them in, Finn. Both Haryet and Clara. He rang those bells. He made those tower doors open. He sent her through. He did this to you. And do you know why?"

I sigh. Because this isn't a surprise. I'm not shocked because I already figured it out.

If the Looking Glass controls the tower doors and the Extraction Master controls the Looking Glass, this means that the Extraction Master opens the tower doors.

"Do you?" My mother's tone is sharp when she asks me this.

"Do I know why ?" I scoff as my eyes scan the room because… yeah. I actually do know why. Gemna, Jasina, and the other girl are chained and cuffed inside a circle made of some kind of metal. The Matrons are lined up along the perimeter. The Little Sisters are standing in line to feed a teenage boy who dreams of raping girls in hallways or have already passed out from the stealing of spark. "Of course I know why." I sneer these words at her. Because she thinks I'm stupid. Not only that, she thinks I'm disposable. "This is a door, Mother . One you can compel to open if you've got enough energy."

My mother leans in, smirking. But also whispering as she side-eyes the room. "Keep your voice down, son. We don't want to scare the Little Sisters. But you're right. I don't know if this is just a good guess or if your father left you some kind of message..."

"He did."

She lets out a breath. Stares at me for a few seconds, then again, she sighs. "So you know. You understand. The god is dying."

On a very basic level, this is accurate, I suppose. But it's also deceptive. I wish I could remember what my father said exactly, but I can't. I need Jasina's notes. So I say nothing. Which forces my mother to continue her deceit.

"There's more, Finn." My mother takes a breath. I don't recognize this woman standing in front of me in her ceremonial robes. She cannot be—is not —the same woman who baked me cookies and helped me do homework. "Because the real truth is, there is no god, Finn."

I reach up and scrub my hands down my face, pushing the heels of my hands into my eyes.

"There's no god, but," my mother continues, "they might as well be gods."

I pull my hands away from my face and look at her. Because I think this was the part of my father's message that I missed. Maybe she isn't lying? Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe the world isn't ending right now? "What do you mean, Mother?"

"They control us, Finn. They control everything. We're… prisoners ."

"Who?" I stare at her, mouth open.

"The gods who are not gods, of course."

I blink at her as some my father's words come back to me now. Workers, he said. Something about Workers.

"They control everything, Finn. Everything on the other side of those doors. We don't have a say in any of it, so yes. I guess they are gods in their own way. Because they have god-like powers over us, that's for sure. They need us, for now. But very soon, they won't. They are building something on the other side of those tower doors. They are making something. And if they succeed, and it looks like they have, then we will become obsolete. One more Extraction, if we're lucky, and then it's over. We are on the edge of dereliction. We will be abandoned. They will starve us and while it will feel slow and painful, it's really just a few months. They will come in, they will sweep us up, clean up the city, and shut it down. So we have no choice. We must enter that world through these doors, otherwise we all die. Which means… we need Gemna and the Little Sisters to get enough spark to complete this task."

I turn and look at the thick glass. At Jasina, who isn't paying any attention to me, but talking to Gemna or whoever that other girl is.

"It's your father's fault, Finn. It's entirely his fault that we are using up Little Sisters like this. If he had just… let us do it our way?—"

I whirl back around. "Your way?" I scoff. Thoroughly disgusted. "If you had your way, Mother, it would be Clara up there in that circle next to Gemna. It would be Haryet as well. He sent them through the doors so you couldn't have them ."

My mother's face softens and her eyes go… I dunno. Weepy, or something. Like she's sad. "It has to be done, my son. It must. If your father had agreed to our plan, he would still be alive today. And perhaps Haryet, and Clara, and Gemna would all survive the opening of the door? You don't know. And the reason you don't know, and Clara is now gone, is because your father was selfish."

Would still be alive today ?

Did she really just say that?

I don't even have the ability to respond I'm so stunned.

She did it.

She murdered him.

Or, at the very least, she sanctioned it.

"Finn? Did you hear me?"

"Of course I fuckin' heard you, Mother! Just… give me a moment, OK?"

My mother puts up her hands and this gesture is obscenely ceremonial-looking because of the robes she's wearing. She takes several steps back. "We don't have much time, but of course, you must process."

I turn a little, not looking at anything in particular, just thinking. I picture myself as a small boy in our family home behind the Extraction Tower. Our cozy, brightly lit, neutrally decorated six-room house. I picture myself standing between my mother and father. My mother, smiling down at me with her pretty face and warm smile. Extending her hand to me, along with her invitation. Come, Finn! Join us as we begin anew .

My father standing opposite, his face stern like it was in the Looking Glass room. Don't interfere with anything that is happening below the Tower District. Just get on the train, take it down the line, and cut all ties with the gods by doing what we discussed.

I picture myself as a teenager taking Clara Birch to her gala in her second year of Pledge. Her favorite memory with me. Clara. Good, honest, loyal Clara. Poised, proper, and polite Clara.

I thought for sure she was dead. But then a miracle. I see her and that man she was kissing last night. Somewhere, through the Looking Glass, she is alive. I know this now. It's a fact, not a guess. And if I cross over, I could find her.

But as I'm thinking this, I turn a little more and my gaze wanders to Jasina Bell on the other side of the massive glass wall. She's still talking. Not to me. I'm not even sure she knows I'm here. She's talking to Gemna, who, now that I look closer, I think is screaming. She's talking to the other girl, too.

Jasina. The girl who shows up with not just questions, but answers. The girl who takes notes. The girl who wants to make history. The girl with a plan.

She's got a plan.

I don't know what it is, but tying her to a circle that is clearly meant to drain the spark out of her in order to power a portal to another world isn't enough to make her give up. She is plotting something. She's always plotting something.

And she left me to die.

They all left me to die, actually. I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm sure they thought I'd sleep right through their secret ritual under the Tower District.

But that's neither here nor there.

Jasina is the one who matters now. She took my father's notes and left me to die.

In my sleep.

So she could… what? Take my job assignment? Did she really think she could just replace me in this whole scheme? I'm the Extraction Master, not her.

It's like… next-level balls. On someone who doesn't even have balls.

It's audacious. It's bold. It's… brave .

Stupid, as well. But there's something to be said for dodgy escape schemes.

And as I'm thinking all this, cyan-blue light begins to seep out of Jasina and Gemna. Gathering around them like a cyclone wind.

I turn to my mother and smile. "What do you need me to do?"

Her relief is so immediate, it comes out as a breath of air the color of spark.

I've never seen my mother display spark. It never even occurred to me that once upon a time, she was a Spark Maiden.

But of course she was.

She's the Extraction Matron.

And there is only one way to become a Matron. Ya gotta be a Maiden first.

"You don't have to do anything, my son." My mother lets out another breath, and again, it's spark. It swirls around in the air between us. Then she steps forward, making it disperse as she passes through it. I am fascinated as the little particles glitter in the air like stardust, but no one else seems to notice.

I want to look at Jasina one more time. But I can't. I can look only at my mother as she comes towards me and, once again, takes both my hands in hers.

They are cold. And it's weird. Because all my life I've felt only warmth from her.

"The Little Sisters are almost done." My mother turns, panning a hand at the short line of still-standing Little Sisters in front of Donal Oslin—who looks like he's been in the down-city taverns all day. He's drunk on the spark that he's stealing from the girls.

There are only five left. And he's taking the spark pretty fast because he finishes one in the few seconds that we're watching.

"One he's taken them all," my mother continues, "the glass will be primed and he'll power it up. And once that happens, the door will open and we will all walk through."

She lets out a breath of spark, but this time she pans her hands to the people waiting in a dark corner. The Council, of course. All the district Masters, including Donal's father. And the Matrons who are not directly involved in the stealing of spark.

But there's another face over there. One more staring back at me.

Mitch.

Not Jeyk, but Mitch.

He gives me a weak smile when my gaze meets his.

I turn away and find myself looking at Jasina, and Gemna, and the other girl behind the glass. Whatever Jasina's plan is, it's working. Because there is a firestorm of blue spark filling up the room beyond the glass.

Everyone must see it at the same time because the room suddenly erupts in a chaos of panic.

"Turn it off!" someone is yelling. "We're not ready! He's not ready!"

I think it's Donal's father. Indeed, Donal is not yet done with the last of his girls. There are still three waiting in line. I have an idea what this is about. But honestly, my understanding of the situation hardly matters.

Because Jasina Bell is here. And whatever she's planning on the other side of that glass, it happens now. The blue spark coalescing between the two women builds to a dramatic climax and suddenly the Looking Glass explodes.

I laugh as I'm blown backwards and the ceiling falls down on top of me.

Because of course it explodes.

I would expect nothing less from the willful, redheaded girl filled with blue butterflies.

I lose time , I'm certain of it, because when I wake up there is nothing but sparkdust in the air. Glittering, beautiful, cyan-blue sparkdust all around me.

Everywhere I look there is broken glass. People are bleeding, and screaming, and running. The ceiling is creaking and croaking like it's about to completely collapse.

But I get up.

I don't know the plan. I don't give a fuck about the plan. I have one job here. Just one.

I cross the boundary that used to be made of thick glass, heading for the circular contraptions that are no longer there. And I should be worried. I should be panicking. I should be saving myself. I should be on that train and getting the fuck out of here because we're not done exploding things yet.

The Extraction Tower explosion is still very much on countdown.

But I'm not leaving. Because I know she's alive. And this is my one job.

To save Jasina the way I could never save Clara.

Jasina Bell or Clara Birch?

It's not even a fair contest.

Clara is my past.

Jasina is my future.

I find Jasina Bell buried under a pile of rubble. After removing some rocks and thick shards of glass, I find her pale, her whole body speckled blue with spark that seems to be attached to her in some way. Sometimes floating off her body like the butterflies on her dress, but more often it appears to be inside her. Glowing from within. But she's breathing, just like I knew she would be. And that's all that matters.

I look around and the next person I see is Gemna. She is alive as well. No one came to save her, but she didn't need saving. She got up and is now taking stock of the situation. Her dress is tattered, her face smudged with dirt, and like Jasina, the spark is all around her body. Much thicker. Deeper too, I think. Her skin looks translucent and her long blonde hair is wild and alive with static that makes her look like a beautiful monster.

She is mad .

I'm gathering Jasina up in my arms when Gemna and I lock eyes. Hers narrow. She hates me. I think she might want to kill me. "It's gonna blow," I say. "The Extraction Tower is rigged and it's gonna blow. If you want to save anyone, now is the time."

It's a little bit selfish, me redirecting her anger like this. Because I just want her to leave me alone so I can get Jasina the hell out of here. But I don't want Gemna to die. She's made it this far. I don't know what they were doing behind that glass. I don't know how they got themselves free and made it all explode. But I can take a good guess.

It was the spark.

If these up-city assholes can use it for their evil ends, why couldn't the Maidens control it even better?

Maybe that's why they had all those stupid Choosings, and galas, and parties? Maybe that's why they kept them in a tower and took the prime years of their lives? Maybe it was never about coin, or men, or celebrity?

Maybe they just wanted to make sure the Spark Maidens never had the opportunity to understand who and what they really are. Never had the opportunity to realize their full potential.

"Jeyk wasn't here." She says this over the clamor of injured and frightened people like we're just having a normal conversation.

"No. I didn't see him either."

Gemna nods, pressing her lips together like she's come to some sort of conclusion. "He's not one of them." Then she lets out a breath, turns away, and starts walking across the rubble.

"Gemna!" I yell it. She doesn't turn, but she stops. "You heard me, right? It's gonna blow ."

She side-eyes me from over her shoulder, a glint of cyan-blue spark in her eye. "Don't worry. I've got this." Then she starts walking again and disappears behind some rubble.

This is when reality catches up and the clamor all around me becomes panic. Fresh and filled with fear. People are crying, and wailing, and screaming.

But when I look around, I realize that most of them are Council members and Matrons. Privileged up-city assholes who were gonna leave this place, regardless of the damage they caused. And now they're not.

It's sickly satisfying.

Almost all the Little Sisters were passed out on the ground after being milked of spark. They were crushed by weaponized glass and falling debris. They never had a chance.

I don't care about the ones who lived. The Matrons and Council members can go fuck themselves.

I've got the only thing I care about.

"Hold on, Jasina. We're leaving now." I whisper this into her ear as I carry her back down the tunnel I came through earlier. There's a lot of rubble at first, but the spark explosion was localized and there is almost no damage ahead, so my pace quickens.

I pass by Jasina's slipper and have an urge to pick it up so I can present it to her, like a gift, when she wakes up. But the ground begins to shake beneath my feet and I know I'm out of time.

So instead, I turn into the other tunnel that leads to the trains and I run .