Epilogue

Ember

W e stayed in the house we’d acquired for two weeks, but as soon as Ethan’s debts were cleared, he wanted to move on.

As luck would have it, I found a job as a tattooist, which turned out to be the perfect job for me, because I got to create art all day, and I didn’t care if I drew blood, because I’m a Cross and we’re fucked up. Actually, technically, now I’m an Erickson, but that’s beside the point.

I refused to marry Ethan until he literally asked me, instead of just planning it with my family, and instead of buying rings, we tattooed rings for each other. Mine was a little less than perfect, but that seemed like it fit us really well. Ethan still hadn’t said the 'love' word to me, but I didn’t feel like I was missing out, because he showed it in so many ways.

He’d found a job in the end, teaching adults via online classes, mostly literacy lessons for those with learning comprehension difficulties, and he loved it. Of course, being Ethan, and the obsessive bastard he was, he worked from the small tattoo parlour I worked at, sitting in a back room with the door open, so he could see me working all day. I’d say it was annoying or creepy, but actually I loved it, because it felt right for us.

Today, though, we were moving into a new place, one of our very own, without unbreakable windows, and booby-trapped doors, and absolutely no rooms anyone tried to end their life in. It was a new beginning.

Of course, moving wasn’t just a two person job, because Ethan had some stuff in storage that he’d only just managed to keep paying for while out of work, and I had a limited amount of stuff of my own. The result though was my three parents being here to help us move. Dad Gray was struggling a little with the heavier stuff with his injured arm, but between Ethan, dad Dory, and mum and me, we had it handled. The difficult part would be getting them to go away after, so we could relax.

Every time I started trying to lift anything, Ethan took over, declaring me ‘maybe pregnant’ and insisting I didn’t risk the baby I might be carrying, and every time he said it, my mum looked at me so proudly, like me having babies before I’m twenty is some milestone she approves of.

“Mum, they can manage the rest, can we talk?” We started making more tea for everyone, while Ethan and my dads went to collect the last few boxes, and she waited patiently for me to tell her what was on my mind. While the kettle boiled, I tried to figure out how to say it anyway, because I didn’t want to offend her, or make her think she wasn’t being a good mother to me.

“Talk, baby. I’m sure whatever it is, we can figure it out between us.”

I sighed, turning to face her, her soft smile and caring eyes, with their laughter lines more prominent than they’d been when I was younger. Even older, she was still the same. My mother. I could tell her anything, right?

“Is this really what you want for me?”

Her forehead creased, and she reached for my hand, which I let her take without hesitation. Ethan had successfully broken through my boundaries, and I no longer shrank away from any touch from my family.

“You and Ethan, you mean? I was worried because he’s older, but it seems to work for you both.”

“No… the baby thing! You really think I’m ready to be having babies? I didn’t think I’d be even considering that, but even if I had, I wouldn’t have been planning it this early. I’m not even twenty, and I have my life ahead of me. Every time Ethan mentions me maybe being pregnant, you seem to look prouder and prouder.”

She raised her eyebrows, making an ‘oh’ with her mouth.

“Truthfully, I’d hoped you’d be older too, but when it’s right, it’s right, Em. In some ways, I wish I’d met your dads when I was your age, so I’d be younger for you kids, but I think you’re mature beyond your years, and that’s why it doesn’t seem like you’re too young for this. You’ve been through things most people never even consider, and you’re so strong, and capable. You’d be an amazing mother, because you’ve seen the worst people can do, and you rose above it. You’ll protect your children better than we protected you, because you know what other children are capable of. I wish we’d known that back then, because we’d have thrown ourselves between you and those awful asshole boys at your school. We’d have done the same for Blaze too. Failing you both will always be a burden on our souls, because we couldn’t protect you from all of that. You’ll never fail your own children that way. And you’ll be raising them with a teacher. If they can’t go to school, you could home-school them. You have more options than we did, and I think you’ll find your way with Ethan, whether motherhood comes now or later.”

There was plenty of commotion in the hallway as the last bits were carried in, so I decided not to drag out this conversation any further. In many ways, mum made perfect sense, and wherever she may not be thinking clearly, I knew we would be. Crazy or not, we could raise a baby now, or later, and I knew my family would help wherever we needed it.

A call to my dad Dory’s phone stopped them from staying too long.

“What the fuck? How? When did that happen? Is he okay?”

We all crowded around him to find out what was happening.

“We’re on our way.”

“Dad?”

He sighed, tucking his phone in his pocket.

“Ash has been in another fight, and he’s at A&E. We need to go pick him up, and I swear, this time he’ll fucking tell us what’s going on. Sorry, Em, we’re running out on you.”

I followed them to the door. “My god, no, don’t be silly. I hope Ash is okay.”

Ethan

WE WERE MOVED IN at last, and even better, Ember’s family finally left us alone to enjoy it. What can I say but thank fuck we’ve got our independence from those interfering assholes at last. Wilma’s fine, but she always was. It’s Dory and, even more so, Gray. Like if I turned around one more time to find him right behind me, watching my every move, I’d break his fucking face.

They didn’t scare me, and the sooner they realised that, the better. They did call to say that Ash was fine and home, and not talking as usual, but I figure that’s their problem and not mine.

“I’m going to take a shower,” Ember said, getting up from the sofa to leave the room. The sofa was literally the only big piece of furniture we had, and only because I’d had an old one in storage until I could hand it off to someone, but I hadn’t planned on losing everything, so it ended up being a lifesaver.

“I’ll come with you. I could do with getting freshened up,” I said, following her out of the living room and up the stairs, already lifting my sweaty t-shirt off.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but you really should,” Ember said with a giggle, hopping out of my grasp as I reached for her. Sassy little minx.

I turned the water on as she undressed, and dropped my clothes beside hers. Our own home. Our own shower. All fucking ours.

I dragged her into the shower cubicle with me, pressing her against the wall as my lips found hers, and I invaded her mouth with my tongue. Time to christen our new home.

My fingers slipped between her legs as we kissed, and Ember practically whimpered into my mouth. She suddenly pushed against my chest, so I backed up just enough to let her speak, because that was all she was getting.

“Let’s get clean, Ethan. There’s something I want us to do.” Curiosity was the only thing that led to me agreeing to her little declaration, but we took the time to tease each other as we washed off. By the time I shut the water off, she was clenching her hands and biting her lip nervously.

“Babe?”

She carefully dropped down onto her knees, and my heart thudded in my chest. Was she about to… I’d been an asshole with her, but I’d never forced her into using her mouth, because that was something she’d been forced into, back in the worst time of her life.

For some reason, it had been a boundary I hadn’t been willing to bludgeon my way through, even though apparently forcing her into sex hadn’t been a boundary at all for me.

She lifted her head, reaching for my cock, and despite the surge of need to feel her sucking him, the way my cock had hardened further at the very idea of it, I caught her hand, stopping her in her tracks.

“Em, you don’t need to do this. It’s okay. I understand.” I could literally feel her hand trembling, but the look she shot at me was fierce, desperate.

“I do need to, Ethan. I need to be able to give you all of me, and I don’t want them to keep this part anymore. As long as I can’t do this, they’re still winning.”

Fuck me. Talk about destroying me from right in the middle of my chest.

“Baby,” I crouched and cupped her chin, “whether you can do it or not, they already lost, okay? They didn’t break you. That was all me.” I grinned at her, trying to soften my words, even though I meant them completely. She was mine to break, and I fucking succeeded.

She was no longer the prickly goth girl I’d tried to teach. She was all sunshine and smiles now, even though she was so covered in tattoos, that it seemed to counter the brightness. It was the two sides of her. The two sides of the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

“Please, Ethan. Can I try?” Hey, I’m trying to be a nice guy here, but I’m still a fucking guy, right? Who doesn’t want a warm wet mouth around their cock? I kissed her, and stood back up again, reaching down to stroke her hair.

“Want me to guide you, or keep my hands to myself?”

She shuddered as her eyes focused on my cock again. It twitched and she whimpered, lifting a hand to touch it. We hadn’t really ever focused on letting her explore him, because basically all her experiences of seeing a man’s junk were bad ones.

“Can I just… can I try, and don’t… just don’t try to choke me with it, or push my head down.” I’d love to say the thought didn’t appeal to me, but I’d embraced the asshole I’d become, and I knew I would have, except for not wanting to traumatise her so much that she’d never try this again.

“You’re driving, baby. Just do what you want to him. Oh… wait, no teeth. And don’t… Jesus , yeah, just explore him.” My whole body shuddered as she wrapped a hand around my dick and stroked him, watching as my foreskin drew back with the motion.

“It feels so good when the foreskin moves, baby, you can lightly drag it back like… yeah, like that. Fuck yeah…”

When she lowered her head, and took a tentative lick up the underside of my cock, my legs nearly buckled, but I held strong, because this was a monumental fucking moment for her, and I wouldn’t ruin it. Hell, who wants to ruin a blow job anyway, right? It’s not entirely selfless. I’m still a prick.

“So good, baby, so fucking good,” I whispered, stroking her hair back so I could see her eyes as they lifted to mine. She offered me a tremulous smile, and I nearly fucking melted to my knees for her.

I said I didn’t know if I could love, but if she could affect me like this, how the fuck could it be anything but love? I wanted to tell her, but it felt like the most wrong moment ever to say it. Look at me declaring love, just because I’m getting head, right?

Her mouth closed around the head of my cock and she froze for a moment, before taking a breath through her nose, and sliding her lips down the shaft. Fuck me, she’s just fucking sucking me deep. Fuck. She kept going, until she was almost gagging on me. What the fuck. Was she pushing herself too far on purpose?

“Babe? Hey, little saboteur, you don’t need to fucking deepthroat me, you’re doing great.”

She made a garbled noise, which vibrated along my cock and fuck me, suddenly I knew I couldn’t hold on any longer, taking a panicked step back, sliding him from her mouth just as he erupted, and I covered her hand and myself in cum. Jesus fuck. Embarrassing much?

“I… was it good?”

I dropped to my knees beside a startled fucking goddess, kissing her forehead before resting mine against hers.

“Fucking perfect. I know this is the worst possible time to say this, but I love you, Ember. I fucking love you, and I think you must have healed a part of me for that to even be possible.”

Tears filled her eyes, but she frowned at me.

“Because I sucked your dick?” I fucking knew it!

“No, baby, because you fucking broke me, but you fixed me too. Maybe a little because you sucked me off, but mostly for the other reasons. We’re two fucked up assholes, but we’re obviously meant for each other. Now why don’t we get cleaned up again, because for some reason we’re covered in cum. FYI that’s the last of my cum that gets wasted until you’re pregnant.”

“Psycho.” That’s fair.

THE END