40. 40

40

Ember

E than left me alone after leaving a few more stinging bites on my breasts, and he also sat me up, but retied me before I could fight free of him. I never expected him to turn out like this, and I wasn’t sure how to reach him, if the real him was even inside anymore.

I wasn’t ready to admit it though, but this darker side of him was also really resonating with me. Wasn’t I just as dark inside? Wasn’t I just as damaged, and broken, and savage? Wasn’t his new brutality something I was already starting to find really appealing? Did I like being forced into sex? I wasn’t sure about that just yet, but I definitely wasn’t hating it like I should be. Definitely wasn’t feeling as worthless and dirty as I’d felt back in school, when I was forced into blowing those bastards, and being touched against my will.

Ethan though; monstrous, or the calm, controlled man he’d been, I think he’d always appeal to me, even if right now I was so pissed at him about my hair that I could scream.

My identity mattered to me. The persona I’d created to hide behind, after the hell of my school years, was all I had. She’d become me, but a stronger, darker version of me. He’d just attempted to strip me of that safety net, that hiding place, and I was feeling strangely vulnerable and exposed right now. Even more than being tied naked to a bed, that is.

My tattoos were still all there, and my scars, but with no makeup, and what looked like almost white-blonde hair, I no longer looked anything like Em, the shell I’d created to wrap around me.

“Time to eat, Ember.” I glared at Ethan as he stepped back into the room, wearing only those damn sweatpants and nothing else. He was looking delicious and he knew it, from the arrogant smirk on his face, and that gleam in his eyes, that said he saw every little fucking thing.

“What if I don’t want to eat?”

He shrugged, sitting on the bed beside me, and wafting the smell of something spicy, filled with small pieces of meat and rice.

“You’re still going to, Ember. I need you strong and able to fight me, don’t I?”

I tugged on the restraints and smirked at him, like I’d found the fault in his planning.

“I mean, you have an unfair advantage anyway, Ethan, or are you going to free me to be more of a challenge for you?”

He lifted a spoonful of the yummy-smelling dinner, and waved it at me.

“Only if you eat. Open wide, baby.”

“You’re not fucking feeding me like I’m a child!”

The spoon came closer, and I pressed my lips together stubbornly, trying to burn him alive with my glare.

“Aw baby, but you are like a child. There’s so much you have to learn and experience, but I’ll make a real woman out of you. One depraved fuck at a time.”

I still refused to open my mouth, but that didn’t faze him. He set the bowl down and pinched one of my nipples, and as I opened up to curse him, he pushed the spoon into my mouth. I was going to spit it back at him, because what an asshole, but honestly, I was hungry and it tasted so good.

“Not so bad, huh? I can put worse things in your mouth later, if you like.”

I finished the mouthful and reluctantly opened up for another bite, because one taste of food had my stomach growling eagerly for more.

“I knew you could behave, Ember. All you needed was a firm hand, right? Glare all you want, but if you want to eat, you have to be good. And if you want to be a little bitch, I’ll treat you like one.”

I bit back my response, and let him feed me, because I needed the food so I’d have the strength to kick his ass later. When I’d finished, he lifted a glass of water and let me take a few mouthfuls.

“You can have more in a minute. In the meantime, let’s talk about something.”

I lifted my eyebrows and waited, and he nodded with approval.

“Good. You can behave when you want to, huh? So yeah, we’re going to make a baby. I’ve decided that’s going to happen, and I’m not letting you go until we have. Once our baby is born, you can leave if you want to, but I’m keeping it. I’ll raise it to be a well-rounded, but twisted little fucker. They’ll appear normal, but they’ll be as fucked up as your family, I’m sure.”

“Why?”

He leaned back on his hands, looking completely comfortable, because of course, he had all the power right now.

“Why make a baby? Or why let them be a psycho?”

I gritted my teeth so I’d hold back the things I wanted to yell at him.

“Both. And if you insist on creating life, why can’t we do better? Why can’t we give that child a life that means they won’t end up like me, or you? Why can’t we give them the life I should have had?”

Ethan watched me, but was he mulling over my words, or mocking me? Honestly, with that beard, there was no way to tell what his mouth was truly doing unless it was a wide grin, or that twisted little smirk of his.

“Ethan?”

Finally a grin, something I could read.

“Nah, I was just picturing you and me raising a baby. It’d be pretty sweet, to be honest. You’d be such a pretty mum, walking around with a baby hanging off your tits, and I’d do my best to be a good dad. I…” He looked down for a moment, his forehead creasing. “I could try to be a good person again. I… maybe it’s still possible.”

“Ethan, it is! You’re still a good man. I know you’ve been pushed to your limit, but you can get back who you were. I’m so sorry for everything I did, but I want to be with you. We can do all of this. We can make a baby, and raise him or her together, and be happy. But it can’t start with me being tied down like this. This isn’t how we make a family, and you know that.”

He smoothed his beard, his eyes travelling down my naked body, lingering between my legs, probably starting to think the wrong kind of thoughts again. Just when I was about to speak again, he sighed.

“Is this a play, Ember? Are you playing me? I’m trying not to be a nutcase here, but if you push me, I’ll get mean again. I don’t think that’s how we want this to go, do we?”

I shook my head vehemently. “I promise. I want to try, Ethan, but we have to try as equals.”

He ran a finger down my thigh.

“I’m still going to fuck you hard, as often as I want, Ember. That part is non-negotiable. You get that, right?”

Was it weird that those words weren’t as horrifying as he probably thought they were? He was waiting for a response, but what was the right one? Yes? No? Go to hell? At this point, I had no damn idea.

Ethan

IT SEEMED THE CAT had her tongue, didn’t it? If she was playing me, would she be more likely to agree to being fucked, or less? Would she put up a fight, or pretend she wanted it? And when it came to it, would she play along, or suddenly turn into a savage angry kitten again? Truthfully, I was more than happy with her doing that, anyway. It was hot as hell, because in some ways it was the real her shining through.

Did I want to break her? Of course, but did I want her to rise from the ashes stronger and more deadly? Obviously. We’d be a fucking unstoppable pair. Maybe I should be putting a ring on it though, before I risked letting her go.

“Ethan, I promise to stay, and not try to escape, if you promise to start treating me as your partner, instead of a pet.”

Oh, that wily little minx. She wasn’t agreeing to anything at all. She was trying to bend things back to her own will, wasn’t she? The temptation to chase her down, and fuck the last of that rebellion out of her though, it won out, didn’t it?

I leaned over and unfastened the rope at her left wrist, then leaned over her to get to her right one. The second I had her wrists untied, because her legs were free from earlier, she snarled and leapt at me, slapping at my face and cursing me. Fuck yeah, there’s my little savage.

“Are you done?” I caught her wrists and effortlessly held her back, even as her teeth snapped at my face, and almost caught me.

The animalistic look on her face suddenly faded and she smiled sweetly.

“Yeah, I am now. You deserved that though, you asshole.”

She wasn’t wrong. I'm man enough to admit that.

“Here’s how it’s going to go,” I started, and she snorted, tugging her wrists out of my hands, by twisting them against my thumbs. Someone taught her how to escape stuff like that, and I figured it was one of the other three assholes in her life.

“Instead of dictating at me yet again, why don’t you shut it for a minute, and let me talk,” she suggested, glaring at me as she rubbed at her wrists. They were pretty raw from the ropes, and yeah, there was another brief twinge of guilt. Was there still a good guy inside me? Who the fuck knew at this point?

“I can’t wait to hear this, Ember. Clearly you have something very important and eloquent to say, so why don’t you get on with it, before I try fucking your ass too.”

She shot me a panicked look, scooting further away from me.

“That’s not how you make a baby, Ethan.”

So cute. “Yeah, but it’ll feel good, plus it’s another virginity, right? Can’t take your oral virginity, unfortunately, so-” She slapped me again, moving so fast, I had no opportunity to duck, or hold her back. Fuck me, that one hurt.

“If you’re just going to keep being an asshole, you can go to hell, Ethan.” There it is. I knew it was coming, didn’t I?

I let her get up from the bed, stretching her legs and lifting her arms up over her head, to stretch her back too. Should it have made me horny? Ah who cares. That lithe sexy body is mine to enjoy, right?

“The key to babymaking is repetition, Ember.”

“Yeah? And the key to fuck you is fuck you !”

I got up, following her as she backed up to the wall, her eyes darting around her as she realised she’d had her chance to dart out of the door, and she wasted it, mouthing off at me.

“What about fuck you , Ember? Why don’t I just do that? You know, you’re lucky I didn’t keep you tied down, and plugged full of my cum, so that you couldn’t help but get pregnant. I still might do that, if you keep trying to piss me off. If you want your only value to me to be your womb, then just keep on the way you are. You promised you’d try, and this is you going back on your word already.”

“Are you just going to keep threatening me, Ethan? Is that how this’ll work? I get mouthy, so you threaten to force me again?”

I stroked her cheek, knowing the gentle touch would confuse the hell out of her, just like it was doing to me. My muscles were tensed with how much I wanted to be less gentle, but I was determined to try, at least this once.

“Do I need to, Ember? Can you not just be good for me? Can you not just do as I demand? You know you’re more to me than something to breed, but I can’t stay calm if you keep acting out. You have what you wanted. You wanted me. You wanted to be with me, well, here I am, little saboteur. You’re literally all I have now. Just like you wanted. Am I the same man you started messing with? No, but I can try not to always be the asshole, as long as you try too.”

She swallowed hard, and my eyes traced the movement in her delicate throat. How I ached to wrap my hand around it and squeeze again, feeling her desperate attempts to swallow, to breathe.

“Ethan?” My eyes lifted from her throat, halting me before I just took the plunge and did it anyway.

“I want to try. I still love you.”

Love. I wasn’t even sure what that was anymore, but there was no way she knew either. No way a person raised by those psycho assholes had the first clue what love was. Still, she was trying now, so maybe I should too.

“Okay, good. I’m not sure I know how to love now, but I’ll try too. It starts here though, Ember. No running, no fighting, no tricks, no anything. Just be with me. Do as I ask. Let me have you. We can make this work.” She nodded once, her breath catching in her throat.

“Okay.”