Chapter 15

Dean

I'd take things slow if that's what she wanted, but after this morning, all I could think about was touching her and watching her come the way she'd watched me in the shower.

When I leaned in this time, I didn't kiss her lips, instead I started at her ear and kissed a trail down her neck.

"I need to touch you," I whispered.

She shuddered in my arms, but slowly nodded.

I reached down and pulled her shirt up and over her head then took my sweet time removing her bra while assaulting her with light kisses between her neck and shoulder stopping every now in then to lick the exact spot I knew I'd someday mark her as mine.

Her sharp intake of breath told me she knew exactly what I was thinking, too.

If I stopped to think about it, I just might freak out. I'd made it my life's mission never to get attached to a female. Keep them at arm's length. Enjoy the moment and let it go. But since the first moment I saw Bailey, everything has been different.

She was my mate. I couldn't do casual with her. It was all or nothing, so I needed to be damn sure we were both all in on this.

Every kiss, every touch, every laugh was designed to pull us closer together. The bond between true mates was like an invisible string intertwining their lives together. To me, it felt much like a drug making me crave more and more with each little shared moment.

"You're so beautiful. And this is crazy. Tell me a raven and wolf can really make it in this world. I need to know we have an actual chance, Bailey. All of this, it's what I never thought I wanted or needed. I went out of my way to avoid relationships or getting close to anyone. And now all I want to do is spend time with you."

"I guess it's the mating bond making us feel that way. It's so confusing. What's real and what isn't?"

"When a raven finds his true mate, it's almost always all in. Sure, sometimes people try to fight it. Even Ryan and Gracie went through a rough patch during their mating, but that's not the norm for us. It's also not as common for us to find our mate because our raven has to meet her first. And once that happens, it's usually a pretty smooth transition to bonding."

"But I'm a wolf and we notoriously fight against the bond. Our mating periods tend to be far more volatile with a lot of poor decisions made."

"Maybe that's what we're both feeling, then."

"What do you mean?"

"The pull and tug between a raven's bond of acceptance and a wolf's tendency to question things. You asked what's real and what's isn't. I've never heard a raven question that before, not when it comes to true mates."

"How can you not? Is it the bond making us want things neither of us thought we wanted? Or is it really what we desire? I'm eighteen years old, Dean. The last thing in the world I want right now is a mate, or wanted, I guess. Now I don't know what to think."

"I likely put up barriers between relationships and intimacy because I was waiting to find you."

"And my shrink tells me I'm terrified of intimacy because of the volatile environment I grew up in watching my mom being abused."

"I will never purposefully hurt you, Bailey."

"I know that. I wouldn't be here, half naked, having this conversation if I didn't fully trust you. But then, I barely know you, so when I stop to really think about it, it's just confusing and weird."

"It's not. It's in our nature to connect. The physical part is easy and feels good. But the emotional part, the showing up every single day part is a whole different ballgame."

"So you're saying we can be physical but not connected?"

"Exactly. Wait, no. Not with you."

It was true. I couldn't just do a one-night stand with Bailey. And more importantly, I didn't want to.

When I looked at her, I could see forever. I could see our hypothetical kids and the excitement of discovering if they were ravens or wolves or a mix of both. I could see coming home to her every single day, having dinner, playing video games, making love to her, and so much more. It was the clearest path of my life that I'd ever known. And I knew that even though a raven and wolf didn't exactly make sense, it felt right because we were destined to be together.

"I don't want to fight the bond," I finally told her. "I want to let it grow and see what happens."

"What about school? Your family? You have a life here, but mine's in California. Until coming here, I've never even left Westin Pack territory."

"And all I've ever known is Ravenden. But Bailey, you are more important to me than that. I can't promise you that you can just go away to college and have a normal experience there. If that's where you need to be, then that's where I need to be."

"Your head of security here. That's an important position, maybe now more than ever. You can't just pack up and go off to college with me."

"It is important, but I don't know how to be more clear. You are more important than all of that. And if we're going to do this, then you are my family now. You take priority over everything else."

"You can't put that kind of pressure on me. It's too much."

I smiled and shook my head. "It's not too much. It's not a burden. At times it may be a compromise, but we're going to have to figure some of that out along the way."

"I'm only here a few more days, maybe a week tops."

"I've never been out to California, but maybe it's time I see it for myself."

The truth was, I didn't want to move. My life was here, but what kind of life would it be without my heart in it?

"It's a lot."

"Yeah, it is," I agreed.

"I don't want to think about all the details right now. We feel right together, don't we?"

"Yes. That's what I've been trying to tell you." I chuckled.

"I'm going to overthink everything."

"I already gathered that."

"I don't want to think right now."

"You said that. So what do you want?"

"I think I want you."

"You think?"

"I think. And I think I want to make you feel as good as you did in the shower, because that made me feel good, too."

I gulped hard, then leaned in to kiss her. I knew I could seduce her. I had nature on my side for that. She wanted me, maybe even needed me the same way I was desperate for more of her.

"Today, we're covering a lot of firsts," I teased, nibbling at the corner of her mouth and allowing my hands to finally roam the soft skin on her belly.

"Oh yeah? What firsts for you?"

I grinned. "Let's see. The first time you touched me. The first time I've spent two days in a row with the same girl. The first time I took my time to really appreciate this spot right here." I nibbled just below her ear where she had squirmed and moaned previously.

"I like that spot," she admitted.

"I noticed. You're going to like this too," I assured her as I cupped her breast in my hand.

She gasped, and her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths.

"I think you're right," she said breathlessly.

Feeling more confident, I stopped talking and explored her thoroughly with my mouth and hands until her breathing was choppy and her nails bit into my back.

It was a heady feeling to know I could make her orgasm without even removing her pants.

When my lips reclaimed hers, she seemed to come alive in her own sexuality as she tugged off my shirt, and then pushed me back against the couch to straddle me.

It was that same excited determination I'd seen this morning in the shower. My little wolf liked to be in control. But so did I. I was fully intent on reclaiming control of the situation when she unbuttoned my pants and slid them down, taking my boxers with them.

When I reached for the buttons of her jeans, she playfully smacked my hands away.

"Uh-uh. If I'm naked, so are you."

She seemed to consider that for a moment. Resolved, she stood up and stripped off the remainder of her clothes before returning to me. This time, when she straddled my lap, she was exactly where I desperately wanted her.

I could feel the heat of her core and smell her essence. It dawned on me that I could smell everything more clearly now. But then she kissed my chest and began lowering herself to the floor, right between my legs and all conscious thought fled me.

Bailey looked like she was on a mission, concentrating hard, like she was trying to puzzle something out.

I couldn't help but smile.

"What are you thinking?"

She grabbed hold of me and tugged.

"This morning in the shower you were wet and slick. Is that better or is this?" she asked.

"Lick your hand," I instructed her.

When she did as I told her, I had to fight back the urge not to come on the spot.

Damn, that was hot.

She seemed satisfied as she began stroking me.

This was not how I wanted this to go.

"Get your sexy ass back up on the couch," I told her.

She furrowed her brow, but once again, listened. This put her body next to me and in easy reach.

Her body tightened and her hand squeezed me a little harder when I rolled a nipple between my fingers. Then she moaned. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to touch her, taste her, watch her fall apart in ecstasy.

My hand was in easy reach of her, but she was also starting to blind me with desire as need coursed through my veins.

Her tongue snaked out and licked the tip of me. She was testing and teasing, but two could play this game.

She was wound so tight that when I finally touched her in the most intimate way, she nearly shot off the couch.

"Oh," she said in surprise. "Mmmm," she moaned, encouraging me to explore her further.

We touched and teased, learning each other's body until I could no longer stand it.

She never let go of me as I laid down on the couch and threw her legs over my head so I could eat at her like a starving man.

A classic sixty-nine position had never really been my thing, but with Bailey, it was everything as we teased and taunted each other in what felt like a race to the finish line.

Somewhere along the way, she started using her mouth with her hands on me. I was nearly blind with desire.

With a pop she pulled back and cried out my name.

I knew she was close. I was too.

"Dean. Oh God, Dean"

Her body convulsed, and her thighs were like a vise around my head. I loved every second of it, and then I let go, too.

My heart was pounding in my chest. It had never been like this with anyone else. I lifted her easily despite my limbs feeling like overcooked spaghetti noodles. Repositioning us, she cuddled into my chest. I kissed the top of her head.

"That was a first for me too," I admitted.

"Really?" she asked.

"Really."

I knew it wasn't in the same way she was thinking. But it sure as hell had never felt like this before.

Fully sated, she fell fast asleep.

I knew in that moment without a single doubt that I would follow this woman to the ends of the universe if need be, but she was mine forever and there was no way I was letting her go now.

"Mine," I whispered before letting her soft snores lure me into slumber.