44. Mila

Chapter forty-four

Mila

I held my dad's hand all the way to the end.

The nurse told me it was one of the most peaceful deaths she had ever seen, but the experience still shook me.

It was the first time I saw someone die right before my eyes. Even as a trained soldier…

One moment, his eyes were open, and the next…

He fell asleep forever.

My brain went into a fog for three days.

It's hard to believe that he is gone. I still feel his spirit in the house.

But I know he is with my mother now.

It's funny. Even though my heart is broken, I am at peace.

Dad no longer needs to be taken care of.

Because he is no longer of this world…

My purpose in life has gone.

Everything I did was for the benefit of my dad. He was the reason why I signed up for the academy and trained to be a soldier.

He was why I joined the trials and worked my ass off. Just so he could get the care that he needs.

Needed.

Past tense now.

Fuck.

My chest hurts.

Can't believe he's gone…

Just me and Pepper now.

I find the dog on his bed. It's the first time I have been in the room since he passed.

Lately, I find myself wandering the house, not knowing what to do with myself.

Jane has kept me company. But she is leaving today.

Soon, I have to prepare for the funeral.

Not too soon, though. I needed rest.

"Hey, Pepper…"

I sit beside the dog, petting her gently behind the ear.

She doesn't stir.

It's the exact spot where she lay when Dad…

I have never felt so numb. But comforting that dog takes me out of my own grief-ridden head for a moment.

Like me, Pepper has lost her purpose. She took care of Dad when I had to leave, and now… she has no one.

I will bring her back to the pack house. Oliver won't mind. He likes dogs.

However, she has gotten rather close with Jane.

The nurse stops outside the bedroom door, and the dog lifts her head, wagging her tail.

It looks like Pepper has made her own choice.

Jane is just on her way out. I spy the bag around her shoulder.

She cried along with me and was a real comfort after Dad passed.

I really did get the best nurse that money can buy.

But Jane is worth more than money...

You can't put a price on her.

Like me, she is Beta, and has a naturally caring soul.

She got close to my dad. Even though they had only been together a month, I could tell that he meant something to her too.

Despite my dad's protests, she still called me to tell me about his condition, and I will be grateful to her forever.

We are definitely going to stay friends.

"If you need anything, Mila, just give me a call…"

A call.

That's right.

I haven't checked my phone for days.

Oliver will be worried sick.

I have been in limbo. At one point, I forgot how to use my fingers; I didn't even know how to unscrew the lid from a jar of jam.

"Thank you, Jane," I whisper, petting Pepper behind the ear.

The dog looks at Jane with that same longing in her eyes. Someone else is about to leave her life.

Jane doesn't leave. She watches me with empathy, and I appreciate it.

It's empathy that I need. Sympathy sucks at this time.

Someone who is going through grief with you makes it all the better…

I would hate to be alone for this.

"Jane?"

"Yes?"

I suck in a breath, "Would… would you take Pepper?"

The nurse gazes at the dog and smiles softly. The dog wags her tail in hope.

"Of course."

A weight lifts from my shoulders. Thank goodness.

Jane's smile widens. "I will go and fetch her leash…"

The word leash makes Pepper jump to her feet, and just like that, she comes back to life.

At least she will have a happy ending.

Jane returns, and the dog won't stop wiggling with excitement.

"We got pretty close these last few weeks, so it would be an honor, Mila. Thank you."

Something tells me Jane needs Pepper more than me right now.

Does she have someone at home waiting for her?

I never asked about her personal life.

Besides, I have Oliver and the pack.

Honestly, it's what made all this so much easier. As soon as I make the funeral arrangements, I will be heading back.

And this time, I won't leave again.

Not long now, Oliver…

Jane and I hug on the front porch for some time, and we promise to keep in touch. She promises to send me pictures of Pepper, and I promise to send her updates about my own life.

Death isn't the end.

It can be the start of a new friendship.

Jane is just two years older than me, so it makes sense that we would connect.

She leads Pepper to her car, and I wave them both away as they disappear up the drive.

I watch until her red car vanishes.

Now I am alone.

For a moment, I am too afraid to step into the house, but I must.

I have a funeral to arrange.

First things first…

I will ring Oliver.

I haven't even told him yet. He must be worried.

When I look at my phone, I find that I have no text messages. Not even any missed calls.

When I try to ring, the connection cuts off, and it's odd.

It was okay for the first few days when I left.

Maybe my phone is broken.

Still, it would have been nice to have someone here…

Oliver won't be able to come, but maybe Barret or Lachlan.

It doesn't matter now.

I have a funeral to plan.

This is going to be the hardest thing I will ever have to do.