Chapter 10

TEN

ASA

Before my mind even senses she’s gone, my body knows it. Pulse hammering in my neck, I sit up, gasping for air while clutching my throat. My lungs feel tight, squeezing the breath from my chest. Across the large mattress, that douche squints one green eye open at my rising panic. Oddly, knowing he’s there makes the shaking in my hands stop. It gets easier to breathe and the air comes rushing past my lips.

I look around the room, rubbing my hair back into place, but don’t see Arianna anywhere. A peek across to the bathroom shows the lights off. “Where’s my wife?”

Wyatt sits up on his elbows and rubs a palm over his face. “I don’t know. You just woke me up.”

Slipping off the bed, I slide into some sweatpants, and as if he’s going to beat me to it, the wild card jumps up and tugs on his jeans, tucking in that fucking pierced cock he has. Noticing me eyeing it, he smirks. “Like what you see, maverick?”

“No. Just feel sorry for a dude who has to put jewelry on his dick to entice women to want it.” With a shrug, I head out the door and he follows closely behind.

“Believe me, she wanted it without even seeing it the first time.”

My pace quickens as I hit the stairs, but he keeps step with me. “The first time? Wanda, I just had her for her actual first time.” Both of us are at a slight jog, but I know where I’m going. Punching an elbow into his ribs, I take off in a sprint once I hit the bottom step and make a dash for the dining area, but she’s not there. The sound of metal clanging and ceramic sliding filters through the large hall to the kitchen and I aim that way. Before I can, though, Wyatt shoves my shoulders back, slowing me down so he gets ahead.

I’ve had it at this point. This fuck is not about to beat me in my own house. Grabbing his waist, I sling him behind me, but he grips me tighter into a headlock. Throwing my arm around his neck, we both stumble forward, landing on our faces on the marble floor in the kitchen where the empress peers down at us with her dark eyebrows raised.

“Um…good morning?” Arianna says like it’s a question, looking fucking radiant in a little white sundress.

The chef eyes us but tries to keep his focus on cooking.

“Ari, what are you doing?” Wyatt shoves me off him like I was the one who caused us to fall.

“He started it,” I tell her, pointing to him after I stand and brush off my pants. Giving me a narrow-eyed smile, she skirts around the center island and places her lips to my cheek, then takes his hand and does the same.

“I was making pancakes for my boys.” Nodding to the chef, she says, “With some help. Come on, let’s sit down.” She takes my hand with her other one and leads us together to the dining room. Like we’re fucking dogs she’s taking on a walk together, trying to make us get along. As we near the dining table, I jet forward and pull out her chair for her, giving a half smile, then lower my brow at Wyatt behind her. He lifts his upper lip at me without her seeing.

Taking the seat next to her, Wyatt tosses his arm around the back of her chair as the chef brings in pancakes, bacon, eggs, and drinks for us.

I brush Wyatt’s arm off and place mine on the chair, digging into a plate of eggs. “How’d you sleep, empress?”

“You fucking talk with your mouth full? I thought rich pricks had manners,” the tool says.

“Listen. We need to discuss some rules,” Arianna interrupts him before I can say something back.

Wyatt presses his lips to her temple and says, “Whatever you want, vix. Our balls are in your court.”

Snorting, I yell, “Simp! Listen, sugar tits. I don’t do well with rules; I’ll let you know that right now.”

Her chocolate eyes droop like a puppy’s as she turns to me. “Will you just hear me out?”

Placing my fork down, I give her my full attention. Fuck, if she looks like that any longer, I’ll buy her a yacht. I don’t have the money, but it can’t be that hard to steal one. “Sure.”

“I know I told you that you could have other women if Wyatt came over, but I don’t feel comfortable if we’re not going to use protection. I mean, if it’s just us three, then I think it should remain that way. And if you’re going to get me pregnant, I don’t want anyone else involved.”

Fucking Maxwell would have my head and cut off my funds if I had a mistress anyway, but now that she’s mine, like fully mine, I just want her. I want the fantasy. To somehow make her and I work so that we can have a big family like I’ve wanted. And I could see it in her eyes when we shared that moment together yesterday. It’s there in her soul with every kiss. Somehow, I gotta get rid of that fucker on the other side of her before he destroys us. But she seems to only want me if he’s around. Or, at least, that’s what she said before we had our day together.

“Fine.” Lifting my finger, I point it toward the grease monkey. “But he is not allowed to fuck your pussy or give you babies. That’s my job.”

“Motherfucker. I’ve had a vasectomy,” he pipes in, and relief floods my belly. Though I’m still a bit nervous he’s lying.

“How old are you, my dude? Don’t old guys usually do that?” I ask.

“I’m twenty-four and you’re the old man. What, aren’t you, like, thirty-eight or some shit?”

Fuck. I’d been slipping on my skincare routine since we made it to this house. “I’m twenty-eight⁠—”

“Twenty-nine,” Arianna interrupts me quietly.

I gasp, staring at her as Wyatt chuckles loudly. Whispering, I ask, “How’d you know that?”

“Because you’re my husband. Your birthday is June sixteenth. Your favorite color is purple, but you pretend it’s white. You won your first boxing match at fifteen and lost your first poker tournament at nineteen.” Swallowing a bite of pancakes, I continue to study her face in shock. “It was half a million dollars just before your parents…before they found them lying on their graves.”

Like she’s gloating with all her knowledge, she holds her head up high. Hearing her air all my dirty laundry in front of her lover makes me irate. Grinding my teeth, I hate to admit that I don’t know anything like that about her…my wife.

Pushing back in my chair, I seethe as Wyatt’s laughter turns to sobbing tears. I could fucking kill him right now. “I guess I can have Dot or Dash look you up to make things even.” Flattening my palm, I smack the shit out of the back of that douche’s head. “And you, too.”

As I storm off to the gym, it doesn’t take long before the rage turns to that throat closing sensation. I can’t work it off; I forgot my fucking shoes. When I spin to head back inside, probably to break something or someone, my crew comes strolling in.

Jinx yells with his annoying donkey bray. “My dude! They finally let us in!”

Cass comes over and claps my hand in his and gives my shoulder a bump. “My man. How’s married life? Where’s the princess?”

Dave’s smoking a joint and the smell fills my head with longing. “Give me a hit off that.” He reaches over and hands me the spliff. The first inhale hits me hard, until I cough so much, snot runs out of my nose. Hoss slaps me on the back a few times as Cass laughs.

“Guess it’s been a while, huh?”

Nodding, I regain my composure. “What is this shit? Tastes like skunk.”

Dave nods as Jinx interrupts, “Man, we can’t get anything else. We need that bud from West Side. Can’t you make up with what’s his name?”

“Calum Von Dovish? The man who murdered my sister? Nah, Jinx. Not making up with him.”

“Yeah, none of us have gotten any blow, either.” Hoss scans the room for something to lift.

“Man, will they let you outta this pad? We could go fuck up his establishments,” Dave says, taking the joint back from me.

“Who? Cal’s? We did have that plan, didn’t we?” I ask.

“Yeah, until we got interrupted by… Wait a fucking second. Is that him?! Is that the guy?” Cass announces to the group, and they all turn their heads.

Hoss pounces toward the glass door leading out to the pool area where Wyatt seems to be helping empress set up for a sunbathing session, making sure her umbrella is perfect. Before I can stop them, the pack heads out, aiming straight for him, Dave reaching the asshole first and shoving a forearm against his chest.

Wyatt stares at all of them without a hint of fear, only straightens up to full height. Arianna’s eyes widen as her mouth drops open. Standing at the back, I fix my hair, unsure really of what to do here. If they kill him, then she can’t be mad at me, right?

“You’re that motherfucker from the garage, aren’t you? The one who shot at us.” Wyatt says nothing, just stands there as I glance around. Maybe I could go for a swim. It is nice out today. My hands work to shove my hair into perfect place and my eyes scan the water’s crystal surface.

Arianna stands up and puts her body between Wyatt and Dave, pressing her back to her boyfriend’s chest. I don’t like it. She’s standing up for him. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

“This ain’t your house, empress. This is our house. Tell her, Ace,” Hoss yells, his voice rattling even my bones.

“I’m Mrs. Donovan. This place belongs to Asa. Not you. Asa, call security and have them escorted off our property.”

Fuck.

Six heads slowly swivel to meet me as I dip a toe in the pool and steady my gaze at the mid-day sun. Maybe there’s something salvageable in the penthouse. It can’t be that bad. I could move there. Like right now.

“Ace,” Cass interrupts my thoughts as they all stare me down, waiting. Like I hold the final answer.

I can’t look at her. If I do, I’ll fucking crumble. Meeting Cass’s dark eyes, I say, “Let’s just go. I gotta get outta here anyway. Going fucking stir crazy.” The guys give Wyatt another look, then head toward the house as I follow.

“Asa,” she pleads at my back. Hustling faster, I catch up with Hoss as he holds the door for me. But she follows me inside.

“I gotta throw on some clothes. I’ll be right back. Just—just wait in the car,” I tell the crew, then head up the stairs, taking as many at a time as I can. The little devil follows me, her breaths huffing through her nose.

“Asa.” Ignoring her, I head into the room I’ve been squatting in and straight to the closet, but I don’t have much time to fix my hair. That bothers me. “Asa.”

That hole is back, the one I need to fill with something. I hate that we were so close last night, but this is just how things go with women. People leave me. She wants him so much, she can have him. May as well quit trying now because it’s only going to hurt worse later. When she tells me I’m a disappointment. Once she understands how much of a fuckup I am.

“Hmm?” I mutter, tugging on some jeans, then finding a T-shirt I quickly toss over my head.

“Asa.”

Finally, I snap my face to hers. Goddamn, she’s gorgeous. “Fuck! What?”

“You didn’t stick up for me and now you’re leaving with them?”

“Maybe your boyfriend should have done that. I gotta get out of here. They’re my friends. I haven’t seen them in a week, almost.” Brushing past her, I hear her little voice ring out, which makes me pause.

“I’m your family.”

My jaw tightens as the ire I felt before rises up my throat. It hurts to hear. Spitting venom, I say, “I don’t have a family.”

As soon as I’m bolting outside, I regret it. Pain leeches at my eyes as I jump into the passenger side of Cass’s SUV, and we head off.

“Everything cool?” he asks, but I just nod and focus outside the window.

Why’d I say that? If I wanted to create something with her, I should have stayed. I should have just told her she was mine. That I’m desperate for a long future with her.

But she stuck up for him, like he was more important. Trying to put me in the middle and make it okay with me that he’s in her life.

Tapping Cass on the arm, I tell him, “Hey, stop by Trixie’s.”

Cass raises a black eyebrow at me. “You sure about that, boss?”

“Yeah.” She said I could have others if I wasn’t going to get her pregnant. I’ll just have to wear a condom with her. Or just sweet talk my way in like always so I don’t have to feel so constricted. The old I’m allergic to latex line or some shit. “And no one has any coke?” I ask the guys in the back. They all seem to loosen up when I ask.

Jinx yells from the third row, “Nah, man. We haven’t been able to get any since you’ve been locked up.”

Turning back to my window, I mutter to myself, “Do I have to do everything around here?” It was months ago Kline told every dealer in the casino not to let me play. Even if I could score just a measly hundred, no one would hand me a card. Not unless we went out of town. “Dave, you got any money?”

The air in the car gets ice cold when I ask. “Uh, no, man. I got, like, five. Sorry.”

“Jinxy, buddy? Money?”

“Ace, I don’t have any money. You know that.”

I start to look at Cass, but he cuts me off. “You know they won’t let you play, boss. But I got you at Trixie’s. Got, like, twenty.”

“Ya’ll are some broke ass motherfuckers, you know that?” Shaking my head, I yell a curse. No drugs. No money.

By the time we roll up to the strip club and head in the back door, I’m in a foul mood. Everything about today has been shit. This wasn’t the way I thought my life would go.

As soon as my ass hits the plush seat, one of the regular girls hands me a pint of Guinness, which helps take the edge off as I sip it. The feeling only lasts for a moment because, for some reason, it tastes off. I shove it in Hoss’s hands.

“You don’t want it?”

Leaning forward in the chair, I place my elbows on my thighs and run my fingers through my hair. It’s just not sitting right without my gel. “Nah, you can have it.”

One of the dancers eases between my legs and slides her ass onto my lap as I sit back. She smells of cheap perfume and desperation. Would be so fucking easy to get her to blow me.

“You need cheering up, Ace?” she asks as her cheeks grind hard on my crotch. It just feels wrong. I can’t do this.

What the fuck am I doing here? This isn’t what I want.

Everywhere I go now feels like I don’t belong. Like there’s something missing. Like I need to be somewhere else.

I snag her by the waist and lift her off me. “Sorry, doll. I’m a married man now.” Standing, I search out Cass, who’s making small talk with the ebony gal he likes. “Cass. Bro.” He greets me with a nod. “Can you take me home?”

Stealing a glance at his whore, he says, “We literally just got here.”

“Come on, man. Just take me home. I need to get out of here.”

“You’re the one who wanted to come!”

I narrow my eyes at him, throwing my hands on my hips. “Well, now I want to go.”

Tossing his head backward like I’m such a burden to him, you know, paying for everything, he grunts, “Fine.”

The other guys stay in their spots as Cass and me head back to the SUV. When we get in, he turns the music all the way up. “She’ll be waiting for you for that twenty when you get back there anyway,” I mutter. I know he didn’t hear me, but he doesn’t ask me to repeat it.

A few streets up and over at a red light, he sits up straight. “Oh, shit. Look, look, look. I think that’s a couple tanks from West Side, bro.” Slapping my chest with the back of his hand, I lean forward. Yeah, I recognize a few of their lackeys that come into the park for some shrooms.

I give him an unimpressed nod and sit back. “Yep.”

Cass slides down in his seat and pulls out his Ruger, flipping off the safety. “Hold the wheel.”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

His dark eyes flash to mine. “I thought you wanted to get back at the man who killed your sister.”

In a moment, I think about it. It is what I wanted, but now? It just seems hollow. That’s not what I’m supposed to be doing, either. Fuck, nothing fits anymore.

Before I can respond, Cass lowers his window and sticks the tip of the handgun out, popping off a few rounds at the other car. I see the driver’s head slump and his body leans forward until it hits the horn as the guy in the passenger seat jumps out and aims at us.

Cass shoves on the gas and I focus on the road to help him steer. He hands me the gun and floors it until we skip past lights to the sounds of some shots ringing through the air. Cass’s boisterous laugh is the only thing louder than the gunfire.

The car swerves dangerously toward a brick coffee shop on a corner about two blocks away as Cass loses control. “Fuck, he hit a tire.” Swiftly turning in my seat, I see the guy has abandoned his post, but he could easily catch up to us. “I’ll keep going for a few blocks.” Barely able to get the car rolling, we make it around a corner in case he’s still watching.

“You’re a fucking idiot. No backup. Just a random drive by?” Shaking my head, I realize we’re still about three miles from my house.

“Spoiled fucking rich kid, Ace. You’re a brat, you know that? God, being your friend is a chore. You’re miserable no matter where you go. I’m done. I don’t need your shit, man. Try to do something for you and this is the thanks I get,” he says as I get out of the car, tucking his gun into my waistband.

“Fuck you,” I mutter.

But before I can slam the door, he says, “We’re your family.”

Sliding a new bullet into the chamber, I shoot another tire out. “No, we’re not.” They were. Or they felt like it. But not anymore.

I know where mine is now.

Darting through the alleyway, I make it to the edge of the park’s southeast side. It’s been a long time since I was in the woods, but I remember every branch, every blade of grass. Every fallen log.

It’s changed out here since I visited. Grown older like me, I suppose. Yet it’s the closest to home I’ve been in a long time. As the air spreads out, it’s easier to breathe, but I can’t help the pounding that starts in my chest. Wide-open space, but it feels like it’s crushing me.

Finding old nut, the walnut tree I hollowed out as a kid once, I slump down on it, putting my head between my knees. Two miles. It’s only two.

How will I fucking make it?

I’m a grown-ass man who can’t be alone. Rubbing some tears off my cheeks, I stand up and pant breaths, placing one sluggish foot in front of the next.

This is my hell.

Cass is right. I’m spoiled. I had a fantastic life. Parents who loved me. Who loved my sister. A family. A home. Everything I wanted. I was good at sports. Got girls easy. Friends, no problem.

And I lost it all.

Maybe I was born to lose.

Except. When I kissed her at the altar, it felt like I was back to winning big again. Not just a streak, but I knew I’d gotten the jackpot.

Next foot.

What if I could make my life the way I want? With her?

Next foot.

Somewhere between all the feet, I amble onto my driveway, the guard opening the gate and pretending I do this every day. Just taking a walk. Sober.

By the time I get upstairs, I pull off my clothes and gather my blanket and pillow, then head to her room. She’s probably angry, and she has a right to be, but I’ll make it up to her later.

When I press on the handle, it won’t budge. Locked. So, I take a step back and kick open the door. She and Wyatt sit up in bed quickly as she pulls the sheet up to her chest. Some tension eases from my shoulders. It looks like they were just asleep and not doing anything more.

I swing my pillow on one side of the bed, gripping my blanket and sliding underneath the covers, then pull her by her waist into my chest. She only slightly resists before shifting closer, asking, “What are you doing?”

“I sleep here now.” My muscles finally relax as I sink into the mattress. “With my family.”