70. Crash

70

Crash

I ache all over, though I'm starting to feel better.

But I am fucking confused.

We're speeding through Lake Divine, all of us—Malkar, Ries, Oz, an unconscious Kami, and a pretty blue godling— inside her kraken.

I am standing inside a fucking spawn as it powers through the water, away from the Radiant Trials.

My magic is still suppressed, though Ries has his magic back thanks to the godling.

I've never met one before, but I'm underwhelmed. She's hot, but she's quiet and kind of shy. She doesn't seem too powerful except that she commands a kraken, which, admittedly, is no small feat.

Malkar is fuming, pacing back and forth as he rumbles his displeasure. He's in his regular form again, but every now and again scales flash over his pale skin.

It's disconcerting and makes me question my ability to take him in a fight. Everyone knows dragons kill with pleasure, the ultimate predators .

Everyone also knows they're nothing but myth, having all died out hundreds of years ago.

Right?

He growls and passes me, and a wash of cold follows in his wake.

"You back to being a full-on dickhead with magic or what?" I ask.

He glares at me, a flash of cold fire in his eyes making them a neon-blue. But he doesn't strike me with a blast of ice.

"I guess not." I glance at Oz, who's been looking over Kami since the godling, Lou, had the kraken rescue them. "What's up with Kami?"

He sighs. "I don't know. She won't wake up. And Beyrthnel had her for too long."

I know Oz feels guilty. His intel sent us to a cave full of the enemy—and their god—waiting for us. I kind of blame him too.

But before I can say anything, I meet Ries's gaze. Dude is scowling, and I can read the threat.

Mouth off to Oz and get a beatdown.

Since I need time to recover, I clamp my mouth shut. But I'm pissed. The merman is getting an ass whooping when I'm finished with the Orc. Just as soon as I have my power back.

"How come Ries is okay, but we still don't have our magic?" I ask Malkar.

He shrugs and comes to a stop in front of me. "I'm not sure, but I gather it's because Folas is still alive. We need to kill him fast."

"Fast is right." Lou stands next to Ries. "The gods are watching. If Beyrthnel breaks through to this realm, then the others will come. And the world with end."

"Well, fuck me." I scrub my scalp, frustrated because we should be fighting and instead we're running. Well, swimming, but the concept is the same. "Where do we start? They're all still back at the arena, where Beyrthnel keeps getting stronger."

"We can't kill Folas there." Malkar frowns at Kami, but I don't think he's seeing her, lost in thought. "We need to draw him out. Make him come to us, where it won't benefit Beyrthnel, and destroy him."

"And Rilitar," Oz rumbles.

I glance at him again and see fire in those eyes. Good. He should be angry. He nearly got us all killed.

"Fuck off, Crash. I can see what you think," Oz says. "I had no idea they were setting us up. And regardless, they were out to kill us no matter what. In that cave, in fields with cannibal nymphs, in a maze in the arena. Now at least we can plan to take them out on our terms."

I hate that he's right. That he's been powerful all along and did jack-all with it. "Think you can sac up and take out the monarch and his girlfriend this time?"

Oz stands, and he's much taller than I remember. Of course, I'm sitting, trying to regain my strength. That's what I'm telling myself, because I feel a flicker of fear as he stalks me, stopping to loom over me.

And I hate being afraid.

"Oh? And what exactly have you contributed to this fight except for losing control?"

I flush, because he's right. "I fight, asshole. I've been pulling my weight since?—"

"Since you got tossed into the water and nearly drowned?" Oz sneers. "While you were playing merman, Malkar and I had to fight everyone else. He destroyed dozens of enemy fae."

Malkar preens. "He's not wrong."

"And we went up against a god while you were getting rescued. "

"Fuck you. At least I didn't let that happen." I point at unconscious Kami.

At what's really been bothering me. Kami, asleep. Leaving us, breath by shallow breath.

I don't have the words to describe the pain this brings back.

I'd been so good, not caring, living my life for me and only me.

And then Rilitar and Folas fucked me over, tossed me with these losers. And I started to care.

As much as I've tried not to, I want them all to live. Cocky Ries, who thinks water trumps fire. Even Oz, just so I can beat his ass. Malkar, that prick, annoys me all the time. But he also makes me laugh.

And Kami…she opened up the walls guarding my heart, the ones that kept me safe and helped me heal. She's such a bitch. I hate her. I hate her so much. I need her to wake up so I can tell her.

Show her she's nothing and I don't care and I will never want her again. For anything.

Even as I crave her softness, her cute smiles, her weirdness with trees, and her black apples that are so sweet and refreshing while creeping me out.

I won't cry again. So I burn out the tears I can feel pooling in my eyes, and I glare up at Oz, daring him to take the first punch.

Though sitting down, I can handle him. I'm always at a fucking disadvantage, and I keep moving, keep breathing.

Keep existing while everything I cherish goes away.

A hand settles over my shoulder. "Easy, Oz. He's worried, just like the rest of us."

Oz stares a moment more then sighs and looks away. Back at Kami, now resting under Lou's care .

Lou keeps draping merweed over her, adding ointments and holding her hands over Kami.

Healing power, Ries had said the first time she did it.

Her legs look better, more like tree bark than damaged skin. The blisters and gaping wounds have vanished, at least.

But Kami isn't moving. She's barely breathing.

And that part of me that has a sense for the future, that part that I hate, seems to think Kami is on her way someplace else.

And she's never coming back.