Chapter 3

D anica sat in her grandmother’s car, praying it would last another six months, while waiting for Nana. Danica had ordered groceries online for pickup but had forgotten a few things. So Nana had to go inside, as per usual. As Danica waited, she got a sinking feeling in her stomach, that foreshadowing nudge. She looked around quickly, but nothing noticeable or obviously disruptive loomed ahead.

However, she hadn’t gotten where she was without recognizing that something was approaching. She wasn’t sure whether she should turn on the car engine and drive away or hunker down and try to appear as if nobody were in the vehicle.

As she waited, her phone rang. It was her grandmother.

“I need you in the store,” Nana stated in that preemptive tone that brooked no argument.

Danica groaned. “No, I don’t want to come into the store.”

“You can’t hide forever,” Nana declared in an irritated tone.

“I could try.”

“It won’t work, Danica.”

“Why won’t it work?” she snapped.

“I told you that before. Now you should just suck it up.”

“And if I don’t suck it up?” she asked, with a groan.

“It still won’t make a difference. Come inside the store. I need you.”

“Fine,” Danica muttered, “but sometimes your idea of need and mine are two different things.”

Her grandmother cackled. “Maybe so, but I still need you in here.”

Danica exited the car and headed toward the supermarket, going straight to the back. There, she walked over to find her grandmother, standing in front of the cottage cheese. “What on earth did you need me for?” she asked, looking around and seeing no sign of trouble.

Her grandmother pointed at the cottage cheese. “I can’t read the label anymore.”

She stared at Nana, realizing she’d been had, then groaned and quickly plucked up the first container, reading it off to her.

“What about the other one?” her grandmother asked, pointing to the one beside it.

Danica picked up the second cottage cheese container and read that label too. Her grandmother frowned, trying to make a decision. “It’s cottage cheese,” Danica declared. “Just pick one, and let’s go.”

Her grandmother stared at her. “Nothing is wrong, you know.”

“Yet I’m sensing something,” she murmured.

Her grandmother visibly sniffed the air, a habit that drove Danica wild. “Not a problem for me,” Nana said, with a chuckle, “although it might be for you.”

Danica pinched the bridge of her nose, a habit she was becoming all too accustomed to, as she tried to deal with her grandmother. “If it’s something that I don’t want to deal with,” she stated, “then I really don’t want to be here and don’t want to be forced to deal with it. So, I’m going back out to the car.”

Her grandmother shrugged. “You can run, but you can’t hide.”

She stiffened at that. “Maybe not, but I can at least stay hidden for a little bit longer.”

“It won’t help.” Her grandmother shrugged and motioned behind Danica.

Slowly, with her heart sinking into her stomach, she turned to look at the crowd standing around her.

Several people just stood there, with widened gazes. Then they rapidly looked away, snatching furtive glances again and again.

Danica stared at them calmly, waiting for somebody to say something, knowing it was unlikely that any of them would, and, if they did, it wouldn’t be nice.

Her grandmother knew that, but, unlike Danica, Nana always felt hiding was no good. Her grandmother believed it was better to face the world head-on and to ignore everything they had to say, especially if it was stuff you didn’t like.

Immediately Nana called out to one of the women in the crowd, “Hey, Angel. Isn’t this great? My granddaughter’s back.”

Angel stared, her shocked gaze going from one to the other. She then slowly backed up, turned, and raced from the store.

Nana howled with laughter. “I knew that would set her on the run,” she declared, still chuckling. She smiled at several other people, who had also backed up.

By the time Danica turned around to see who was still here, she realized they were all gone. “Did you scare them away, just like that?” she murmured.

“Sure, I did. Just think. We won’t have a line to deal with at the checkout now,” her grandmother replied.

Danica stared at Nana in horror. “Please tell me that you didn’t just do it for that reason.”

“I don’t want to stand in line, do you? Besides, it’s already all over town that you’re here. They might as well get a good look-see at your face, and then they’ll leave us alone.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice?” Danica muttered bitterly. “Yet you also know that they won’t leave us alone.”

“They will, but it’ll take a bit,” Nana admitted. “I just figured it was faster to do it this way.”

Danica couldn’t reply to her grandmother in the way she truly wanted to. By the time she got home, she was furious.

Her grandmother shrugged and softly said, “Deal with it, dear. People will be people. The sooner you let them be people, the sooner they’ll get over it.”

“And if they don’t get over it?” she asked in frustration.

“You knew it was a problem, but you came back anyway. I appreciate that. Yet I won’t sit here and let everybody stare at you.”

“They’ll do it anyway,” Danica stated. “I find it much easier to get through the day by ignoring them.”

“But you’re not ignoring them. You’re just hiding,” her grandmother corrected, with a bite to her tone.

Danica groaned. “It’s not that I’m hiding. It’s more a case of trying to find a peaceful answer without upsetting the apple cart.”

“Yet you should upset the apple cart. You didn’t do anything wrong,” her grandmother snapped. “They have treated you like a leper for too long, and it’s time it stopped.”

“But it won’t,” Danica grumbled, turning to face Nana. “You know that as well as I do.”

“We can debate that until we’re both blue in the face, and we will still not change each other’s mind.”

“I guess we can agree to disagree.”

“Fine. But, for now, can you help me get these groceries inside? Then you can go off into that little camper of yours. God only knows why you won’t live in this house.”

Danica didn’t say anything, and Nana knew perfectly well why Danica wouldn’t live in her grandmother’s house.

“Did you give him a deadline?” Nana asked.

“No, I didn’t give Cameron a deadline,” Danica declared. “No point in saying, Hey, sell it to me or else, and you only have five days .”

“He should sell it to you just on principle,” her grandmother insisted.

“Just on what principle? He didn’t have anything to do with this.”

“No, but I had to sell it to pay off the medical bills,” she noted. “I just want to get it back again.”

Danica winced. “Thanks for the reminder,” she muttered to herself. As it was, it wasn’t her grandmother’s fault. The medical expenses down here were something else, and that would cripple anybody. After her mother’s death and Danica’s subsequent hospitalization, and the rest of the pain and the hellish problems that her grandmother had been through, the medical bills had crippled her financially.

Nana had been forced to sell some of the land, and now all she wanted was to have it back again. The trouble was, getting part of it back was one thing, but she wouldn’t get it all back. Maybe she would come to terms with that in a way. Yet, in other ways, Danica didn’t think her grandmother would ever make peace with it.

From her grandmother’s perspective, the property was still her home in her heart, and, even though Nana understood intellectually that it wasn’t, she still found it hard to accept. Given her age, that may be understandable, but it didn’t change the fact that nothing she could do would give all that property back to them. Besides, Nana could barely keep up the property she currently had, so going after more of it wouldn’t be easy or practical.

Honestly Cameron hadn’t done anything wrong by buying it. And certainly he had no reason to give up the land between Nana’s home and his, just because her grandmother wanted it back. She’d sold it fair and square, and he’d bought it that way. As far as Danica was concerned, that was it. But, if Cameron was willing to sell a part of it back, Danica would gladly take that piece and build a home for herself. It was definitely something she could do. She would live there by the creek and be very happy. But only the creek area and only that part of the woods. The rest of it was haunted, as far as she was concerned, and the main haunting party was her own damn mother.

The last thing Danica wanted to do was to see Daisy’s evil face every night before going to bed or waking up to that same damn smirk every morning. So, maybe something could be said for Cameron’s not selling it to them after all. The trouble was, they were neighbors regardless. All Danica was trying to do was corral them into a livable space.

*

When Danica woke the next morning, she felt a little more in control again. There were good days, and there were bad days. She hopped up, took care of her morning ritual, and then, with Benji at her side, she stepped out and went for a walk. The dog had been a stray that had found her years ago, when she’d desperately been looking for a friend.

Technically Danica wasn’t allowed to go on the property she’d asked to purchase, but it was still a place that Benji wanted to go to all the time. So, hoping that the good Cameron wouldn’t mind, Danica stepped out and took Benji for a walk. They got in a twenty-minute ramble over the property, finally returning through the backyard of Nana’s place. They waited outside the house until Nana opened the door.

“There you are,” she said, with a smile. “Come in. Come in.”

When she hesitated, Nana glared at her. “Get your butt in here,” her grandmother snapped. “Let’s not be stupid about it.”

Danica frowned and stepped closer, but, as soon as she neared the doorway, she couldn’t enter.

Her grandmother glared at her and then, as if seeing what was happening, her shoulders slumped. “I am so sorry, child.… It’s not letting you in. At least not right now.”

“I know,” Danica said softly. “Why do you think I haven’t come in yet? Do you think it’s because of me?”

“Child, it’s because of her. Daisy’s a very agitated soul. She’s adrift.”

“If she would at least be at rest for a few moments, it would be a whole different story. But she never is,” Danica muttered, with a broken smile.

“I’ve tried so much to help her, but she just won’t leave. If she won’t leave, it’s because she has something that she needs to do, which should deal with you. It’s one of the reasons I wanted you to come home—so your mother’s soul can rest.”

“ You might have wanted me to come home,” Danica pointed out, “but I’m not sure it was the best idea for me.”

Her grandmother slowly nodded. “And that might be true too,” she conceded, “but to have both of you so unhappy just breaks my heart.”

Danica nodded. “I’ll sit out here. The weather’s good enough anyway.” She stepped over to the patio table with its twin chairs.

“The weather is always enough to grumble about.”

“I could do with a good old storm to clear the air, but then all we get is mugginess,” Danica said, with a laugh.

“A lot of it is due to your mother too.”

“I know, but I keep hoping that one day she’ll leave us in peace, but it’s not likely to be anytime soon. Especially not now that I’m back.”

“I know. I know. I was really hoping that having you home would change things.”

Danica just let her ramble.

Danica’s mother was an odd spirit and not a happy spirit at that. But Daisy’s mood was well past anybody’s ability to fix it, ever since she had passed. Danica hadn’t seen her mother’s spirit since returning, and, for that, Danica was grateful. The last thing she wanted was that visual to go along with everything else. She had already heard Daisy calling Danica’s name on a regular basis. The sound drove through her spine and up to her head, until she wanted to scream.

Sometimes it even seemed that Daisy was begging. If Daisy wanted forgiveness, Danica knew she was supposed to forgive, but, damn, it was hard. The fact that her mother had been mentally ill should have made it easier, but somehow it didn’t. There didn’t seem to be any justice.

Danica caught sight of her face in the nearby window and deliberately turned away. No good could come of looking at that. It was bad enough dealing with the pain and the pressure already, but to see the scar on a regular basis just added insult to injury.

“It’s not that bad, you know,” her grandmother noted, bringing a tea tray with her.

She smiled over at her. “You’re just trying to be nice.”

“You could always get it fixed,” Nana suggested.

“I could, but you also know that, anytime I’ve gone to a doctor, something stops me.”

“That could just be fear,” her grandmother pointed out quickly, then took a seat beside her granddaughter. “It doesn’t mean that it’s definitely your mother trying to stop you or that she wants her damage to be there forever.”

“Maybe, but since we haven’t figured out another answer, that’s where it stays.”

Nana nodded and handed her a cup of tea. “Let’s sit and relax. It seems that life is just harder these days.”

Danica didn’t say anything, but privately she agreed.

Nana asked, “How’s work going for you?”

“It’s going.”

“You say that, and it’s always the same. I don’t know how you can do any work in that machine of yours.”

“It’s an RV,” Danica clarified, with a chuckle. “And it’s big. Huge, as a matter of fact, especially for just me and Benji. I have power and water, since I’m hooked up now, so it’s perfectly fine. I also have internet, so I can do my work.”

“And you’re still doing graphics stuff, huh ?”

The way her grandmother said graphics stuff always made Danica chuckle. The poor dear had no idea what graphics even meant and had not one iota of interest in finding out about it either. “Yep, I do graphics stuff .” Her grandmother just glared at her. “And seeing how it’s paying the bills right now, it’s going just fine.”

“Maybe it’s fine,” Nana replied, “but I don’t think it’s good. You’re isolated, and that’s not right. You’re alone, and you shouldn’t be alone.”

With that, Danica faced her grandmother, declaring, “We’re not going down that path again. You know perfectly well why I’m alone, and you can see it in town every time I go there. I don’t even know why I wanted to come back here.”

“You wanted to come back because you want closure, the same as I do.”

“Sure, but I don’t think closure is to be had.”

“I’m not so sure about that. I just can’t get past the feeling that, in order for your mother’s spirit to be happy, we should solve what happened.”

“You mean, outside of what everybody thinks happened?”

Her grandmother looked at her and snapped, “ You know what happened.”

“No, I don’t. I lost a lot of my memories, remember? Due to shock, pain, horror, death ,” she stated in a sarcastic tone.

“You brought a little bit back with you too,” her grandmother pointed out.

She stilled, looked over at her grandmother, who nodded.

Nana added, “You think I don’t know that? I can see it, and that bit of energy is not healthy. It’s not good at all.”

“Exactly,” Danica agreed. “I don’t know how to get rid of it, and honestly I’m not sure I give a damn enough to even bother trying.”

“It could kill you, Danica. And it could ruin whatever chance you have at happiness. At a future.”

“Since we don’t even know what I’ve attracted,” Danica pointed out, with a smile, “maybe it won’t make a damn bit of difference. Maybe it’s just energy.”

“We know it’s energy,” Nana stated, eyeing her calmly. “But it’s a matter of what that energy wants, and why it’s attached to you.”

“It’s attached to me for the same reason we talked about last time,” Danica replied, with a frown. “It’s attached to me because it doesn’t know how to reverse it.”

Her grandmother wore a solemn expression as she spoke. “Child, I know you don’t like hearing this, but I’m pretty sure that’s also the reason your mother is hanging around.”

At that, Danica frowned at her. “You mean, besides guilt, besides wanting forgiveness, besides trying to kill me or you? Which of those things—”

“ All of those things,” her grandmother stated bluntly. “I know it’s hard for you to hear this, but I’m not really sure that your mother killed herself. I’m also not sure that your mother attacked you.”

Danica lowered the coffee cup and stared at her. “What are you talking about? Who else could it have been?”

“It’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up for a long time. I spoke to your mother a couple times. You know that.”

“I do know that,” Danica acknowledged, “but I won’t listen to the ramblings of a crazy woman, be it on this side or the other.”