Chapter 12

D anica stayed close to her grandmother for the rest of the day. It was evening now, and she was surprised the house had allowed her to stay inside after dark.

When her grandmother glared at her and announced, “I’m not an invalid.”

“No, you’re not,” Danica agreed calmly, “but you’re also not feeling great.”

“Now, how do you know that?” she snapped.

She looked at her and smiled. “I can see it.”

Her grandmother grumbled for several minutes and then slunk into her chair. “I could use another cup of tea.”

“Okay, I’m happy to get you a cup of tea. I’ll also heat up some soup, and, if you have a bowl of that, you’ll really make me happy.”

“I’m happy to have soup,” she grumbled, with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“Maybe. But you’re obviously distraught about something, and you’re not talking to me. What I’m afraid of is that you know who hit you.”

She looked over at her granddaughter and shook her head. “No, I do not. I wish I did, but I’m afraid that this doctor will be more trouble than we want.”

“In what way?” she asked.

“If he goes to the sheriff, you know that they’ll come over and start poking and prying.”

“Somebody attacked you,” Danica replied in exasperation. “Maybe they should.”

“No, they shouldn’t.” Nana glared at her. “You need to stop doing anything that will bring people into our world like that.”

“I understand that part,” Danica noted, “but I won’t let anybody attack you and get away with it.”

Nana sighed. “But you also know, or you would if you thought about it, how it’ll look when they get here.”

“No, I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. What do you mean?”

“I didn’t have a lump in my head when I was in the hospital, but I had one when I got home. So, who do you guess they’ll think gave it to me?”

Danica stared at her grandmother and slowly sank into the chair beside her. “They wouldn’t think that, would they?” she muttered, her thoughts running rampant, disbelief draining the color from her face. “Why? It’s not as if I have any reason to harm you.”

“Considering that people will kill each other over a cup of coffee, I’m not sure that’s a fair assessment of the situation,” Nana argued, with half a smile. “That’s why I didn’t want Cameron to go to the sheriff. I wasn’t thinking about me at all,” she declared, looking at her granddaughter.

“I really don’t give a crap if they do think that. What will they do? Charge me?”

“They might,” Nana snapped, looking at Danica intently. “You know that an awful lot of people here would be happy to see you go away. Permanently.”

“Sure, but permanently is hardly going to jail for attacking you,” she said, giving a hysterical laugh. “That’s ridiculous.” Yet, as she thought about her words, she realized that a certain amount of truth was in her grandmother’s concern. “Good God,” Danica muttered. “I can’t even imagine having to deal with that crap again.”

“No, and that’s part of the problem. You might not want to think about it, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.”

“I won’t think about it right now either,” she snapped. “Somebody attacked you, and that is my concern.”

“Your concern, but not mine,” her grandmother clarified.

“Why is that?” she asked, eyeing her grandmother.

“Because I’m not worried,” her grandmother responded.

“Going back to all that cryptic stuff again, are we?” Danica studied Nana, long enough to make her grandmother uneasy. “I have a couple questions to ask.” She watched the almost visible wince on her grandmother’s face, then nodded. “Don’t you think it’s about time you told me what was going on between you and my mother?”

“Going on?” her grandmother asked in astonishment, staring at her. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t, but obviously something occurred between the two of you that Daisy could never find peace over.”

“No, she couldn’t ever find peace, and that was because of those abilities of hers.”

“Abilities? They were for real?”

“They were for real, but she kept using them for less than good. What I know is that, when she started pulling that crap, all kinds of things went wrong.”

Danica stared off into the distance. “I wonder if she ever would have found peace,” she murmured.

“I don’t know that she could have. She wanted out. She wanted away from here. She didn’t want this lifestyle, and I didn’t have anything to give her other than this,” her grandmother shared, turning to Danica. “I thought that maybe when you were born, it would be enough for her.”

Danica smiled. “And yet you and I both know that she wanted nothing to do with me. Why did she even go ahead with the pregnancy?”

“The truth? Is that what you want?” her grandmother asked.

“Yes, I really do.”

“Because it was too late to do anything about it,” she stated. “You were already too far developed for her to get an abortion.”

Even though Danica had figured the answer would be similar to that, to hear it was still a sucker punch to the gut, and one that brought a physical, almost visceral reaction. It was all she could do to not bend over and cry out in pain, but she covered it somewhat, though her grandmother saw it anyway.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you. There are just some things you shouldn’t know.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t know them,” Danica admitted, breathing when she finally could, “but the fact that I already basically knew it doesn’t change the fact that it’s not the same as the truth. I’m all about the truth right now.”

“Even if it hurts?” Nana asked.

“Especially if it hurts because, when you’re gone, I would like to know exactly what happened. I was kept out of so much back then. I didn’t even understand—until the kids started to accuse me of killing my mother—that was how they all viewed me,” she shared, her tone pained.

“It was a big enough shock as it was, and it was just so wrong that they even did that,” her grandmother stated stoutly. “Of course you didn’t hurt her.”

“No, but Daisy’s still dead. She killed herself instead of being my mother,” Danica snapped, glaring at her grandmother.

“That’s something I live with too.” Harriet nodded. “I know. It’s a messed-up world for all of us.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that as well.” Danica tried hard to push back the tears, trying to imagine what it was like for her grandmother.

“Of course I did. She was my daughter, my only child. I was so absolutely delighted to have her. And yet, from the moment she was born, Daisy’s health was a roller coaster of concern for me. When she hit puberty, her mental decline accelerated and just never quit,” her grandmother murmured, staring off into the distance. “She was a very unhappy soul.”

“Was there anything we could have done to make it easier on her?” Danica asked, looking over at her grandmother. “I couldn’t figure out how to even talk to her back then.”

“That’s because she didn’t want to talk to you. She saw you as the epitome of everything she could no longer be.”

“What I can’t understand is why?” she said. “I stayed out of her way. I didn’t have anything to do with what went on in her world. I stayed away from her boyfriends. I just… I didn’t do anything.”

“You didn’t do anything,” her grandmother explained gently, “except exist . For Daisy, who wanted to get away and to live a life of freedom and luxury, having you around was, in her mind, a millstone on her neck. I don’t mean it that way, but—”

“No, but it’s true,” Danica accepted. “That’s exactly what I was, whether I like it or not. But I had hoped that she would at least find her way out of here and find a way to be at peace.”

“You and me both,” Harriet muttered. “Daisy could never find anybody to take her away, and I had no money to send her away. So, we were both trapped in this situation, where I saw Daisy’s deterioration, but I just didn’t know how to help. I didn’t know how to fix it,” she admitted, tears coming to her eyes. “She was my daughter. I absolutely loved her, adored her. Yet it didn’t seem as if anything I did helped her.”

*

What a bitch.

It was early morning. He watched the woman putter around in the front garden. He was safely hidden. Hidden from sight and, hopefully, out of mind, but a part of him wished Danica would disappear from this earth, never to return. He normally wasn’t one to have those kinds of thoughts, but the trouble she had brought into his life was unbearable now.

And then, of course, there was her mother.

That was too much to even begin to think about. Those things kept him up at night, wondering whether he should have done something or could have done something. He wasn’t sure he should be blamed for anything. Yet he couldn’t stop the guilt—the guilt that he could have done more, even if he wasn’t the best messenger for it.

Now, as he watched her in the garden, it drove him nuts to think she was happy and carefree, while his world had been torn apart.

Did she even know?

Did she have any idea just how much torment she had brought into his life?

Was she so unbelievably oblivious to it all, numb to it all, and maybe even blind to it all?

He didn’t know how much her mother had told her, how much her grandmother had told her.

That was another issue he would love to get answers for, but what answers would he ever get?

It’s not as if they wanted to talk to him, and honestly he didn’t want anything to do with her. He was much better at skulking in the shadows, rather than trying to go out there and say hello. What would he say? The words choked back in his own mind. It’s as if he could not convey the feelings of disgust and antipathy he felt toward her.

It was just—it was wrong. He needed to leave their place. No reason for him to be here.

He continued to watch her for a long moment, fear warring with anger and frustration from so long ago. Finally he forced himself back off the road and over to where he’d parked his truck. He’d been here multiple times already and almost got caught once by that old biddy.

She should have had her lifetime shortened a long time ago too. That would have made him happy. Nobody else would give a shit. That was the problem. In fact, everyone else was just not even worth his time.

Feeling the same lethargic apathy that seemed to pervade his world these days, he got into his truck and headed back home. He didn’t know why he tormented himself so much. It would be so much better if he could just ignore that she was back. He had no problem ignoring old Harriet being around, since she was almost as crazy as her daughter had been. But for the granddaughter to come back? That was just adding insult to injury. Even though he could tolerate Harriet somewhat, he certainly didn’t want the granddaughter pushing her nose into his business either.

He pondered that as he parked, got out, and walked toward his front door. He wondered if he could do something to make Danica disappear again. He wanted her to realize that she wasn’t wanted here, never had been, and never would be. The best thing she could do was go away and leave them all alone.

Only as he got to the front step did an idea hit him. He stood here for a long moment, contemplating it, and a smile broke out across his face. For the first time in a very long time, he felt a joy in his step, as he walked inside and promptly crashed on the couch.

Finally something he could do. He wasn’t sure exactly how it would pan out, but he had an option now, and options were always good. If nothing else, they made him feel that he was getting somewhere, and that was priceless.