Chapter 33

Chapter

Thirty-Three

Kael

I stood outside her window. I'd driven out of town and come back twice before finally going to the address Rowan gave me. My hair was mussed, my eyes bleary from lack of sleep, but once I'd made the decision, I couldn't wait a second longer to see her.

My wolf prowled. Finally he and I were both on the same page, but ironically, that didn't matter much. Callista had the final say in whether we got it.

I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since I'd left her in the woods, and now that I was standing here, I wasn't sure what I'd been expecting. That she would be grateful? That she would throw her arms around me and tell me I was absolved of all the pain my actions had caused?

Callista didn't move. She was in a bra and jeans, and my eyes tracked over her skin. I wanted to touch her, wanted to taste her. My hand started to shake.

She pressed her hands into the sill. "Why did you run?"

She knew I'd taken the dagger and left. Since she and Lana hadn't been at the garage, I doubted she knew I'd changed my mind and returned the relic to Rowan. None of that made her question easy to answer. "I was afraid."

Her lip twitched. "You kill people for a living."

"So people keep reminding me."

She didn't blink. "I have a hard time believing Lana or I had you shaking in your boots."

I chuckled darkly. "You've had me shaking in my boots since the first moment I saw you in your tent." I took a step closer to the window. "It's never been easy to do what I do, but it was manageable. On my own, I could compartmentalize my life. It wasn't who I was, it was what I did. To survive. Always to survive." I took another step. "The problem is…it doesn't seem manageable anymore."

"Why not?" Callista's eyes shone. Her wolf was close to the surface, pushing toward mine.

I'd already laid my life out for her at the river, so I didn't understand why it was so hard to say it this time. My tongue felt thick. My throat dry. "I have nothing to offer. I?—"

"I didn't ask what you have to offer. I asked why your life isn't manageable anymore."

I struggled to hold back the tidal wave of arguments that screamed at me to run back into the trees. To get as far from Black Lake as possible because I couldn't handle it if she turned me away. I'd survived the rejection of my pack, but I couldn't survive a rejection from her.

I swallowed my fear. "Because I didn't need anything before."

"And now?"

"I need you," I rasped. My body felt like it was going to cleave in two as I searched her face for any sign that she didn't hate what she was hearing.

Callista's lips pursed. "You've known me for three days, Kael. Three days of me being terrified and in pain. That's not who I am?—"

"If that's who you are at your worst, then I can't imagine the best." I strode forward until I had to crane my neck to meet her eyes. "You're curious. Calm under pressure. Smart and willing to get your hands dirty." A lump formed in my throat. "You see me."

Her cool facade cracked at that. She drew a breath and exhaled. "Inside."

"What?"

"I don't want to have this conversation through a window. Can you come inside, please?"

My heart thumped in my chest. I reached up for the sill, and Callista swatted my hand. "Lana isn't sleeping in the hall. You can come in the front door."

I nodded once, then jogged to the front of the house. I scanned for a vehicle but only saw a car that I assumed was hers. Callista pushed the door open as I took the steps two at a time.

As soon as I was next to her in the entryway, I couldn't keep from touching her. I dragged my hand over her arm, and she smiled.

"Not here. Blake will be back soon. Just take off your boots."

My blood heated. "Giving orders again?"

Callista's cheeks flushed. I set my boots next to hers and followed her down the hall to her room. She walked in and closed the window, then drew the shades.

I shut the door behind me.

Callista turned to face me. "I thought you took the dagger to complete your assignment. To save your friend."

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to tame it. "I was never going to complete my assignment. I knew that before we went to Swan Lake or I wouldn't have gone."

"Because of what we tried to do with the dagger?"

I nodded. "I thought about taking it back to the alphas."

"But you gave it to Rowan." Callista took a few steps toward me, and the walls of her room suddenly seemed to press in on me.

"He told me about your plan." I moved toward her, and we met at the foot of her bed.

Her eyebrow quirked. "Which one?"

"To put together a rescue group." I slid my arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "You didn't know I was coming back with the dagger."

Callista arched against me. "It didn't matter."

"Didn't it?"

She shook her head. "They might have others. We need to show them they can't harm our packs or other shifters to cow us into submission."

I brushed my lips over her forehead. "So it wasn't just for me?"

She pressed a hand to my cheek, and the corner of her mouth lifted. "Definitely not."

I leaned into her touch. "I need to say it now. All the things I don't have to offer you."

Callista laughed, dropping her hand to my shoulder. "You've already told me how inadequate you are."

I fixed my eyes on her. "I'm serious, Callista."

She smiled up at me, her eyes glassy. "I know you are. I'm just waiting for you to realize that I don't care where you came from or what you've done."

"Callista—"

"And it's not because I haven't thought about it. I have. The moment I felt a pull toward you, I listed every reason why it would be a terrible idea. But then I walked back into this empty room and envisioned stepping back into my old life…"

I ran my hands over her healed skin. "It would be different. You wouldn't be in pain."

She shook her head. "Yes I would." Callista pushed up on her tip toes and kissed the underside of my jaw. "You're right. We've seen each other at our worst. Maybe that's a gift."

My head was thick, the scent of her hijacking my rational mind. "How could it be a gift?"

She pressed her hand against the base of my throat. "We have nothing to hide from each other."

I worked to catch my breath. "I can't give you promises. I don't know what my life will look like—who I'll be."

Callista nodded, but she didn't back away. "I don't need promises, Kael. I only need one."