Chapter 17

Chapter

Seventeen

Kael

I stiffened as Callista's fingers trailed down my chest. The sensation of her touch was electric, sending jolts of pleasure through my body.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. I was here for her, but every time I tried to tell her she didn't need to return the favor, she wouldn't hear it.

I struggled to tamp down the urge to bolt for the window. I was always the one in control. As tantalizing as it had been to let Callista lead, we both knew where it was heading. Now my wolf bristled at the idea of being vulnerable, of being touched. But each brush of her fingers was intoxicating, making my blood run hot.

My heart pounded in my chest as Callista's hands moved lower, her breath warm against my skin. I could barely think straight, my thoughts a jumbled mess of desire and hesitation. I was teetering on the edge, and one wrong move would send me plummeting into a free fall of lust.

Callista was saying something. Her voice was a soft murmur, and I forced myself to focus on her words. "You're shaking."

I hadn't even realized it. My hand trembled at my side, and I sucked in a breath, trying to steady it. "I'm sorry?—"

"Why the hell are you apologizing?" She looked up at me through her lashes, the moonlight now pouring through the open window. "I like it." Her hands moved up to my shoulders, and she pushed me back against the pillows. The warmth of her body against mine was a welcome distraction, but it did little to quell the tension coiling in my gut.

Callista's fingers traced the lines of my muscles, her touch featherlight. "You were so good at that." Her voice was so low I had to strain to hear it. Her eyes sparkled with mischief, and I couldn't help but smirk.

"You mentioned that."

She nodded, her hands slipping lower. "I've never been able to just relax like that. I felt . . . safe."

Safe. The word hung in the air between us. She had to be joking. I was the last person in the world who should've been able to make her feel safe.

I suddenly felt like a fraud, like an asshole taking advantage of her. That's what I was, wasn't I? I knew better than to crawl into bed with a she-wolf in heat, and yet I'd come running the second she'd called.

"Callista—"

She pressed her hands against my thighs. "Stop trying to make me change my mind."

My mouth clamped shut. She moved over me, and I closed my eyes, feeling the weight of her body against mine. Her skin was warm, her breath hot against my neck, and I struggled to keep my wolf in check.

But it wasn't just him. This was what I wanted. What I needed. And it terrified me.

Callista's fingers trailed along my abdomen, and I sucked in a breath, my muscles twitching under her touch. She moved lower, and my heart slammed against my ribs. I couldn't think, couldn't focus on anything other than the sensation of her skin against mine.

Her hand slipped lower, and I groaned, my hips bucking involuntarily. Callista stilled, and I opened my eyes to see her staring at me, her hazel eyes wide and filled with concern. Her lips parted, but no words came out.

I reached for her then, my hand wrapping around her wrist. "It's okay," I murmured, my voice hoarse. "I'm just . . . not used to this."

Something flickering in her eyes. "You work alone."

That one sentence. The way she looked at me. I swallowed hard and nodded. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Kael. I just thought?—"

"I want to." My grip tightened on her wrist, and I pulled her hand back to my abdomen.

She nodded again, her eyes searching mine. Worry was etched in her features, and it made my chest ache. I didn't want her to feel like she was doing something wrong.

Callista leaned down, pressing a kiss to my abdomen, and I sucked in a breath. Her lips were soft and warm, and the sensation sent a shiver down my spine. She moved higher, planting kisses along my chest, my neck.

Warmth bubbled up in my chest as my tension bled away, replaced by a heady mix of desire and gratitude. When had I been touched like this? Kissed like this?

Callista was giving me something I didn't know I needed. She was inviting me to let go, to be vulnerable. Just like I'd told her to be.

My heart thundered in my ears as Callista's hands explored, her touch both soothing and teasing. My body screamed for more, but I forced myself to stay still, to let her lead.

She shifted, her body pressing against mine, and I couldn't hold back. I reached for her, my hands tangling in her hair as I pulled her lips to mine.

I hadn't planned on kissing her. That had felt more intimate than what we both had agreed this was. But I couldn't stop myself.

Callista moaned into my mouth, and the sound sent a jolt of electricity straight to my core. I deepened the kiss, my tongue exploring the warmth of her mouth as my hands roamed over her back.

She arched into me, and my wolf growled in approval. It didn't feel right to only take. Even though I'd already been given free rein, it wasn't enough. I wanted her to feel as good as she was making me feel.

Callista pulled back, her breath ragged, and I watched as she moved lower, her lips trailing down my chest. I was trembling, my muscles taut as a bowstring as she kissed her way back down my abdomen.

She hesitated, her eyes flicking up to meet mine, and I nodded, giving her permission to continue. Callista's breath hitched, and I could see the want in her eyes. She wanted to make me feel good. She wanted to give me the same pleasure I'd given her. And I wanted to let her.

She leaned down, her hair falling like a curtain around her face as she pressed her lips to my skin. The sensation was electric, and I clenched my teeth to keep a groan from escaping.

We're not mating.

How had I been so sure I didn't want to? How, from standing outside the window to now, had my mind started to change?

My thoughts flashed back to Bill in the living room. Maybe your wolf is trying to teach you something. This? This was what I'd been missing?

It wasn't only physical, not for me. With each press of her lips, Callista was breaking me wide open. Exposing a soft center I didn't remember existed and couldn't pretend to contain.

She was shattering me.

Molding me.

I was putty in her hands.

I dropped over the edge, fisting my hand in her hair as my body shuddered. She held me. Her hands gripping me as I sank into the bed, my breath coming in ragged gasps. Callista kissed me. Once. Twice. Then climbed up next to me and threw her leg over my hips.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. The room was filled with the sound of our breathing, the scent of sweat and arousal still hanging in the air. It was intoxicating.

Next to me, Callista wore a gentle smile, her eyes half-lidded. Her hair was a mess, and her lips were flushed. She looked like she'd just woken up from a nap, and the thought made me smile.

She shifted, and I felt a flicker of guilt as she pulled the sheet up to cover herself.

I reached out to brush a strand of hair from her face. "That was incredible."

"I am capable of reading body language." She shot me a cheeky grin.

Shit. The way my heart jumped in my chest. Not good.

Her expression fell a little.

"You okay?" I asked.

She nodded, but her eyes were still a bit wild. "Mmhmm. I've just . . . I've never . . ." She trailed off, her brow furrowing.

I waited, giving her space to find her words. It was a rare thing for me.

"I've never done anything like that before," she finally admitted, her cheeks flushing deeper. "Not with someone I just met. Not with someone I don't even really know."

"I'm sorry, I?—"

"No, don't apologize." Callista shook her head. "I wanted it, and it was amazing. But I don't know how to process it."

I nodded, understanding more than she probably realized. "I get it."

She looked at me, her eyes searching mine. "Do you? Because I feel like you look totally calm while I'm lying here naked with a guy I've known for less than twenty-four hours, and I'm trying not to freak out because I don't want to ruin this moment, but also my brain is screaming at me to run."

A laugh bubbled up in my chest. "Yeah, I get it."

Callista's eyes softened. "How do you do that?"

I frowned. "Do what?"

"Make me feel . . ." She hesitated, then shook her head. "Never mind." Callista's lips pinched, and then her shoulders started to shake. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to comfort her, but I was afraid of making her feel more awkward. Then her hand shot up to her face, and I saw her blinking rapidly. The tears welling in her eyes made my chest tighten.

When they started to spill over her cheeks, I couldn't stop the sound that rumbled in my chest. It was something between a growl and a whimper, and before I knew it, I was pulling her against me.

The warmth of her skin flooded my senses as I guided her down to my chest. Her head rested on my shoulder, and the steady rhythm of my heartbeat thrummed against her cheek. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, to cocoon her in my embrace, but I held back, afraid of crossing some invisible line.

My fingers found their way to her hair, and I stroked it gently. "Hey, it's okay," I murmured, my voice barely a whisper. "You're okay."

Her shoulders shook harder, and I felt a pang of something deep and primal. It was more than just empathy. It was a visceral need to make her pain stop. The pull toward her was stronger than ever, but I didn't know what else to do.

It was like her pain was a knife slicing through my chest. I wanted to roar in frustration, to demand that the universe fix whatever was making her feel this way, but I knew that would only make things worse.

"It feels so good," she murmured against my skin.

I frowned. It was the last thing I expected to hear out of a woman's mouth when she was actively crying. "What does?"

"Life. This. You. All of it. I didn't think I'd ever get to feel this again." She sighed. "I think…I don't want to die, Kael."

My chest tightened. "You're not going to die."

"Ironic."

Yeah. It was. But it was true. I had no idea what the hell was going on or how to fix it. But I knew one thing for sure: I couldn't stand the thought of her being in pain.

She tilted her chin, and her eyes searched mine. I hoped she could see the resolve there. "You can't control this."

I saw the silent question there. Did I want to control it? "I can try."

Callista's lips twitched. "I'm going to take a shower." She pushed up from my chest, then stopped. She considered her words, then said, "Stay."

So I did.

All night. Or what was left of it anyway.

I hadn't meant to stay until morning, and when I woke with her in my arms, I was horrified at how right it felt.

I couldn't have a mate. I couldn't get used to this.

She moved as if sensing I was no longer sleeping, her cheek nuzzling against my chest.

"Good morning." I smoothed her hair from her eyes.

"Good—" Callista tensed. Her eyes flew open.

I paused, pulling back at the sound of an engine coming up the road. Tires crunched on the gravel, and I knew exactly who it was.

Rowan had noticed his pack had dwindled during the night.