CHAPTER FIVE

Billboard sat back in the tiny receptionist chair; his mind blown.

O’Shea.

Hadn’t he just been thinking about her this morning?

Billboard scoffed. When hadn’t he been thinking about the gorgeous, kick-ass woman who’d captured his attention and interest when the team had been in Louisianna?

And now she was in town.

He’d told himself repeatedly—pre-Peggy of course—that if he ever got the chance to be around her again, he’d try to…

What ? Be awkward? Get tongue-tied?

But then Peggy had happened, and Billboard had been able to put O’Shea—mostly—out of his mind.

Since the break-up, however, O’Shea had crept back into his waking and sleeping dreams, haunting him with possibilities that didn’t seem reasonable, considering how far away she lived.

Now, however, she was here.

He cursed at himself. He hadn’t asked if O’Shea was only in Boston for the night or if her stay would be prolonged. He actually hadn’t said much, other than hello. Not an auspicious beginning if he—

“…Mistah Seingold…Mistah SEINGOLD!”

Billboard snapped out of his stupor, sitting up straight in his chair and planting his feet firmly on the floor to see a slightly annoyed, but highly amused Mizzay confronting him from behind her ubiquitous coke-bottle glasses.

“Uh, yeah?” he answered, somewhat sheepishly. He certainly hadn’t heard her come in, and… Had she asked him something?

“I said you can head to your office now that I’m back,” she told him cheekily. “But now I see that youz have a lot on your mind.” Her face turned calculating. “Have there been any phone calls?”

Billboard nodded at the desk-based device. “Brigid.”

“Ahh. I get it.” A small snort escaped from her pert, upturned nose. “Does that mean yah daydreamin’ has somethin’ ta do with a certain police officah who happens to be in town visiting?”

When Billboard remained silent, she pressed.

“Well, does it?”

Billboard didn’t know whether to deflect or admit that O’Shea was the reason for his preoccupation, but since he’d been going with complete honesty today, maybe he should spill to Mizzay. He knew the woman was a secrets-vault, and wouldn’t leak anything of what he said to his teammates, but… He glanced around to see if anyone would hear them speaking, and grimaced when he noticed both Del and Sarge’s doors open.

Mizzay noticed, too.

“Right. Come on, doll.” She crooked a finger at him, winked, then sashayed her fine self into the conference room.

Billboard sighed. If he’d thought to use nosy ears as an excuse not to come completely clean, that was now off the table.

With another long-suffering sigh, he got to his feet, preparing himself, but before he could come around the desk, Mizzay yelled back to him. “Make sure any calls that come in get forwarded ta the conference room. This convo might take a while.”

Great. The woman was planning on grilling him for however much time it took, and according to everything he knew about Mizzay, she was an expert in interrogation.

Interrogation …

Just thinking that word had Billboard seizing up.

He tried to tell himself that anything to do with him and interrogation was all in the past, and attempted to get his feet moving, but panic gripped him hard, and his lungs began having trouble sucking in air.

Dr. Ed’s calm voice came into his head. Let your hands fall loose. Breathe in slowly through your nose to the count of ten. Now breathe out through your mouth, making it a small “O”.

He could do this.

After his third, shaky exhalation, the spots in front of his eyes disappeared, and his legs no longer felt like lead.

He looked up to see that Mizzay had poked her head back out of the conference room. “You okay, doll?” she asked, her face a study in concern.

“Uh, yeah. Just a little brain-freeze,” he lied.

And wasn’t that the excuse he’d been giving to everyone each time he flashed back? His team knew about his past; just not how its grip on him was still in play. Lying to them or avoiding full disclosure, they were both basically the same thing, and he knew it had to stop. Dr. Ed had told him he needed to start opening up more to his coworkers and his mother. But…

Not right now .

BB told himself there was no need to talk about his fucked-up past with Mizzay at the moment, because she knew a lot of it. Especially when there was a discussion still in play which wouldn’t be all that much easier. Yup. He’d come clean on his significant issues another day. Of course, that’s what he’d been telling himself for the better part of a year, and he hadn’t yet grown the set of balls with which he needed to do it. So…

Nope. Still not going there.

Billboard hit the proper button on the phone that would send any incoming calls to the meeting room, then skirted the desk and followed Mizzay back inside the large, windowed space they used for planning and sussing out job strategies.

She closed the door behind them and addressed him sharply.

“I’m assumin’ you don’t wanna talk about whatever that was. But Mr. Seingold, we will be revisiting it. I’m through treatin’ you with kid gloves.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he replied resignedly. He heard in her resolute tone that she was finished cutting him some slack.

“But right now,” she changed course, “let’s talk about what had you in la-la land when I walked in.” She hadn’t taken a seat, but stood with her ass perched on the long, mahogany table in the room, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Uh, O’Shea is here?” Billboard ventured.

“She is,” Mizzay confirmed. “That’s not news to me. And in case Brigid didn’t tell you, we’re all goin’ out to dinna tonight. You included.” Her finger pointing at his chest told him he shouldn’t dare think of missing it. “Youze have a problem with Mizz O’Shea?” she continued pointedly.

“I don’t. I…” Billboard sank his ass into a chair. “I…like her.”

Now Mizzay’s eyes narrowed. “But you have a girlfriend. Peggy.”

Damn , didn’t that make him seem like an asshole.

“Actually, I don’t. Not anymore. She broke up with me.”

A slow smile spread across Mizzay’s face. “I knew it,” she said smugly. “I wuz sure you and her weren’t a real thing. I wuz surprised it lasted as long as it did.”

Billboard blinked up at her, catching a glimpse of his astonished face in the reflection of her large glasses. “You didn’t? You were?”

She laughed. “That’s fuh shuah. The two of youz had sexual chemistry in spades, but cerebrally?” She tapped the side of her head. “Not so much in common.”

“Wow. Why didn’t you…? Nope. I guess that’s a stupid question.”

“It is. Because as long as youz two were heatin’ up the sheets, my opinion wouldn’t have done either of you any good.”

“Probably not,” BB admitted, and didn’t that make him feel like a shallow asshole.

“So tell me about you and O’Shea,” she added, drawing him out of that short-lived funk.

Billboard shrugged, dishearteningly. “There’s nothing much to tell. When we were down in Louisianna, she kind of let me know she was interested, and Brigid made sure I knew that O’Shea was sniffing around, but I didn’t start anything because, well, she lives and works there and I live and work here.”

Mizzay scoffed. “Youz have heard of airplanes, right?” she asked sharply.

“I—”

“And zoom? And sexting?” she added before he could defend himself.

“Yeah. I have. But the first one means taking time off, and I hate leaving the guys short-handed,” he answered stubbornly. In truth, work was the only thing that kept him sane. “The second and third things…” Billboard deflated. It was time to let Mizzay know just how lacking he was around the female sex. “…they require talking. And I’m not so good at that.”

“Whadjou just say?” Mizzay asked, putting one hand to her ear.

Billboard groaned. “I said I’m not good at talking.”

“Oh really? What ahh we doin’ right now?” she grilled.

“Talking, I guess,” he muttered.

“You guess?” Mizzay didn’t let up, and he wouldn’t have been surprised if any minute, he didn’t get a slap on the back of his head. He hoped not. The lump was still there from this morning.

“Uv course we’re talkin’,” she corrected him. “And even though it’s like pullin’ teeth, we’re at least startin’ to get somewhere,” she stated smugly. “What does Doc Ed have to say about ya situation now that things with Peggy are kaput?”

BB didn’t know how Mizzay had found Doctor Edwina for him, but he’d be forever grateful to her that she’d set up that first appointment for him several months ago.

Billboard also felt he was on firmer ground with this question because Doc Ed hadn’t beat around the bush when responding to his new, single status. “She thinks it was too long in coming. She thinks…” BB swallowed. “…I like hanging on and beating myself up over things I can’t fix, rather than doing the smart thing and letting go.”

“And that describes ya relationship with Peggy?” Mizzay questioned, but clearly she already knew the answer.

“Yeah,” he admitted. “We were fine during…uh, in bed.” That felt awkward. “But she wanted more. Things I couldn’t give her, like why I’m so fucked up and quiet a lot of the time.”

“Uh, huh. I don’t blame her, then.” Mizzay shook her head.

Billboard bit his tongue. He deserved that.

Mizzay continued. “What makes you think things’ll be different with O’Shea?”

“Huh?” Billboard blinked. He hadn’t said a word about starting something with O’Shea. He’d simply agreed that she’d caught his interest. Mizzay had obviously drawn her conclusion without any evidence. “With O’Shea?”

“Yeah. You heard me. I got eyez in my head, Mr. Seingold. When we were down south, youz couldn’t be around her enough. And O’Shea? Well, she looked at you like you hung the moon.”

“She did?” Billboard brightened. That was news to him.

“Men are so dense,” Mizzay returned with a huff. “Youz think it was a coincidence that every time we got in a vehicle, she managed to sit next to you?”

“Well, I, umm…”

“And whose opinion did she ask whenever there was a question that came up?”

Billboard thought back, and a smile twitched on his lips. “Mine, I guess.”

“Again, there’s no guessing about it.” Mizzay looked smug as she regarded him keenly. “Now she’s in Boston. Fah what reason we don’t yet know. But if I had to take a shot, which I will, I’d say she’s thinkin’ of relocatin’ and wants to see if there’s anything heah fuh her.”

“Like a job,” Billboard responded knowingly.

“Like that, and maybe like a certain man whose too hahd-headed to see what’s right in front of him.”

“You think?” His gut was beginning to unwind until…

Billboard groaned. “Oh, shit. Brigid put me on speaker when she called, and now O’Shea thinks I’m dating Peggy.”

Mizzay pushed off the table and stood tall at every one of her five feet. “Then that’s something you have to fix. Do you have O’Shea’s numbah?”

BB shook his head. “No.”

“Well, I do. And I think yah next move is to call her and tell her you’ll pick her up at her hotel and bring her to dinnah.”

“But Brigid’s with—”

“Brigid’s about to get a call from Sarge, saying he stubbed his toe and needs her right away.”

“Stubbed his…?”

Mizzay shrugged. “Whatevah. He’ll figyah somethin’ out, once I explain what’s goin’ on.”

“But he’s… I haven’t…”

“Told them about youz and Peggy breaking up, yet?” She laughed like a hyena. “Ya boys knew it wuz only a matta of time. You know these lunks gossip worse than a bunch of old ladies. They’ve been placin’ bets on when, exactly, you and Peggy would go belly up.” She made a moue of displeasure, then… “Dammit. Prez had dibs on June, which means he wins.”

Billboard held in a chuckle, but only barely.

“You bet too, didn’t you,” he stated shrewdly.

She nodded.

“What was your time frame? When did you pick?”

“Last month,” Mizzay admitted.

“Well, hell,” Billboard responded, actually giving her arm a playful punch. “That means you win, because we called it quits two weeks ago, when it was still May.”