31. Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-One
T wo months later
S?ren’s plot of land ended up being about two hours outside of Lubbock, West Texas, in the shadow of a red sandstone stump that looked like a mountain had started growing and then abruptly abandoned its course. There was a spring, just a little one, but enough to replenish S?ren’s lake, which—holy shit, the logistics involved in transporting that much liquid across state lines, not to mention the structure to contain it and the little grove and the boulders―trains got involved, okay? Big-ass trains and probably a fair amount of bribery.
But now he was here, and he seemed content. There were a few local scrub bushes that S?ren said he’d have no problems incorporating, decent soil to keep his grove alive and, most importantly, no land spirits. I’d gotten Bobby’s word on that when he came to help settle S?ren in the ground.
“It’s a good spot for him,” Bobby assured me for the tenth time, once things were done and S?ren was too busy basking in his new landscape to pay either of us much attention. “The land could use some decent energy―it’s completely empty. I’m surprised the mountain is still standing.” He glared out into the distance like he could see the oil pumps working and shame them into stopping. “No need to worry for him.”
“Good.” That was probably the only thing I didn’t have to worry about, although it wasn’t all bad. Marisol had reappeared, mad as hell about what had happened to her shop. The last time we’d talked, I’d given her Jakob’s personal number. I then received a long and expletive-filled message from him, but he was paying for repairs, so that was something. Jakob was doing his absolute best to stay on S?ren’s good side, and mine, since he had no direct leverage over the v?ttir anymore. ólafur’s sacrifice had bought S?ren’s forgiveness, but tribute was what would stem the tide of madness. Jakob hadn’t been bothered by any berserker fits yet as far as I knew, at least. Phin was around to help Marisol out. Andre wouldn’t respond to my emails, which―fair enough.
I’d done my best to repay Roger and Annie for all of their help, but I knew it would take years. At least they were willing to work in installments.
Or, as Annie put it, “Honey, we don’t need a pound of flesh. Honest sweat is better than blood any day of the week.” They’d given me easy jobs so far, just surveying to help locate the best spots for new wells while saving them the expense of exploratory drilling. I was convinced that the honeymoon period wouldn’t last, but I’d take advantage while it did. I’d talked them into putting a dinky mobile home out here and even installing a windmill power system to generate electricity for it.
Of course I was living out here. Where else would I go, now that I was tied to S?ren through our bargain? The only person who could have torn me away from him was my mother, and I still had no idea where she was. Two months, and we hadn’t been in contact. She hadn’t contacted anyone, actually, not even Marisol, who’d gone up to look for her.
“The cards are…well, they just aren’t telling me much,” she said apologetically. “I wish I had more for you, honey. I don’t see her in immediate danger, if that helps. Just―laying low.”
Fine. She was laying low somewhere and couldn’t be bothered to get in touch with her only son? It wouldn’t be the first time. I’d learned long ago to try not to let myself be hurt by anything my mother did. She was as much a slave of her gift as I was. Telling myself that didn’t always make it better, but in this case, I had something more concrete to help me get over the hurt: my mother’s puppy.
Her neighbors had shipped the little thing across two continents to get to me, thanks to Marisol’s meddling. I’d never had a dog before. I knew my mother liked them, but pets―honestly, they seemed like more trouble than they were worth. Still, when the puppy was brought out to me in a travel kennel by one of Roger’s more unflappable employees, I couldn’t just turn it away.
It was small and ridiculously fluffy. I’d have to trim a lot of that hair if this dog was going to be comfortable in the heat of Texas, but for now, I had an air-conditioner that worked, water to cool her off with, and an ache in my heart that welcomed something that wouldn’t judge me for my innumerable mistakes. Her tag read “Lady,” so she was my lady, and my only company once Bobby left.
Yeah, S?ren still wasn’t talking to me. Or rather, one of them wasn’t. The landv?ttir loved to talk, but as the project got closer and closer to completion, his focus had shifted, and now that everything was finally in place―well, blissful was what I’d call him. And preoccupied. Which meant I’d spent the last week pretty much alone in the little trailer, except for Lady’s energetic company. I was used to being alone―that was something I could usually handle pretty well―but I wasn’t used to being lonely . And even with my mother’s puppy wriggling into my side and chewing gently on my fingertips, I was lonely now.
Rap-rap. The trailer had a thin door, and knocking on it rattled it in its frame. I was a little surprised. S?ren never bothered with knocking. Usually, he just came right in when he wanted something.
“Yeah?”
The door opened slowly, and S?ren stepped inside. He glanced around my little home like he’d never seen it before, which―hell, it wasn’t like I’d redecorated. I didn’t have much beyond a few suitcases worth of clothes, secondhand pots and pans for the tiny kitchen, and a tablet for mindless entertainment.
“What?”
“Cillian…” he began sheepishly, and then I knew.
Oh. Oh my god . I sat up in the tiny bed so fast Lady tumbled off my stomach with a disgruntled yip. “S?ren?”
He shut the door behind himself and nodded. “Yeah.”
“Fuck.” It had been so long since we’d spoken I’d almost forgotten the timbre of his voice. I’d missed him, god, I’d―“Um.” I was a terrible host. “Sit down?” Except there were no chairs. What kind of savage was I? “Here?” I gestured toward the bed, and he nodded, took off his shoes—how polite—and sat down on the end of the bed. Lady immediately pranced over to him, and he smiled as he stroked over her soft crown and scratched behind her ears.
“She’s sweet.”
“Thanks. She’s my mother’s.”
“I know, I’ve been―I mean, it’s kept me informed, you know?”
“Oh.” Ooohkay . “Good.” This was off to a fantastic start. What had Marisol told me, the last time I’d bitched to her about this? I had to be willing to extend the olive branch. Despite the fact that I didn’t really regret the way things had worked out—scratch that, I was fucking ecstatic at how things had worked out—it had still upset S?ren, and that had never, ever been my goal. “Look, I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
“For manipulating you.” That much was true. “I hated hurting you. I swear that wasn’t what I wanted. But my hands were tied.”
He nodded. “I know.” He kept his gaze on Lady. “You’re clever, but you can’t work miracles. I should have seen it coming. It’s my own fault that I was disappointed.”
I still felt like a failure for not doing better, and it was worse hearing it from him. I shook my head and ignored the stubborn pain in my chest. “Still. That sucked.”
“It was probably worse for you than for me, objectively.” S?ren shut his eyes. “You killed yourself. You were dying, and the v?ttir and my father were fighting, and all I wanted to do was run over to you and try to stop the blood, because it…it was wrong, you know? It just looked wrong. But I couldn’t move the v?ttir, so I did the only thing I could.”
“Changed your intent.”
“It wasn’t that much of a change, really,” he said. “I went into it in the beginning knowing that my sacrifice was really for you. It was the price I paid for your life, and it helped my family, so there was almost no downside.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” I swore, because honestly. “Where did you get such a fucking martyr complex?”
“Where did you?” he countered, which―fair enough. I shut up, and he continued after a moment. “So things changed, and the v?ttir killed ólafur so that the old deal was completely severed, and then he saved you. That took a while, by the way. You’d lost so much blood by then.” He glanced up at me now. “The more the v?ttir does for you, the tighter the bond becomes. The first time he healed you, it wasn’t lifesaving, but this time it definitely was. Your life is literally tied to us now. The farther apart you are from us, the harder it will be to focus, to sleep, to work your magic. We’re all joined, for better or for worse, unless the v?ttir makes another deal or you die.”
“Wow.” Those were repercussions I hadn’t considered, but getting them clarified wasn’t the first thing on my mind right now. “Is that what you came in to explain? The way this deal works?”
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know. You haven’t spoken a word to me for two months.”
“I was too angry to be rational,” S?ren admitted. “And it’s easier to keep a distance when the v?ttir is using my mind, but it’s off communing with nature right now, so it’s just me. And I can’t keep this up. I miss you too much.”
“Fuck.” Two months, and I’d been worried it was the start of the rest of my life, being with S?ren but denied him at the same time. I held my hand out to him, and he took it without hesitation, and that was it.
I pulled him in for a kiss and I got an armful instead, S?ren moving Lady to the floor before he straddled my waist, one hand wound through my too-long hair to hold my head still while he had his way with my mouth. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him in so close I could feel his heart beating―his heart , and it was mine, so wholly and completely beyond a shadow of a doubt. I’d never possessed anything so precious in my whole life.
“I’m sorry,” I said again when I had a moment to breathe. “I’m so sorry, I—”
“No,” S?ren said. “That’s over. Don’t waste any more time on it.” He smiled at me, and it was sly and wicked and the sort of thing I hadn’t seen nearly enough of in the time we’d had together. “I think you should fuck me instead.”
I was fortunate not to pass out from the world’s most embarrassing blood rush right then and there. “Yes,” I agreed emphatically, and then―
Sex was a funny thing for me, always has been. Sometimes it was smooth and easy, and sometimes it was completely goofy, full of misplaced elbows and stubborn zippers. There must have been someone looking out for me, though, because not only were we both undressed in under a minute, but I also didn’t drop the lube, the bed didn’t break, Lady didn’t howl or stare, and then I had S?ren splayed out beneath me, breathing hard as I slid a finger inside of him.
If it had been a long time since I’d had sex, hell, the last time he’d fucked anyone was―me. S?ren writhed against the cheap sheets, unable to keep his hands off me as I prepped him, taking my time because two years was a long stretch to go without, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him.
Still… “No,” I said when he closed his eyes as I pressed three fingers into him. “Look at me, keep looking at me. I have to know…” That it’s you went unspoken, but S?ren understood. He opened his eyes, the hazy blue obscured by huge pupils, and his body clenched around my hand.
“Now,” he begged. “Now, I can’t wait anymore, please.”
That was convenient, because neither could I. I slicked myself gingerly, positioned myself just right, and—oh fuck, it was slow and hot and so tight . S?ren drew me down against him as soon as he could, wrapping his legs around my back and driving me deeper.
“Slow,” he whispered, kissing my ear. “Like this.”
We hadn’t done it like this very often, a gentle push-pull, none of the long thrusts and quick pace that got us off fast. This was quiet, me barely moving at all, and I knew I couldn’t be doing much for his prostate, but S?ren didn’t seem to care. He clutched my shoulders and kissed me again and again, and I let him take control, because he had so little of it in anything else. I wanted to give him exactly what he wanted, and right now that was the slow, tender grind of body flush to body, our skin slipping against each other’s without creating any unwelcome space between us. His cock was trapped against my belly, rubbing wetly, hard and red.
I was drowning in S?ren, surrounded by him, enveloped in him. Fuck, I never wanted it to end, but it had to, because my entire body was trembling with the need to come, every muscle tightening in anticipation.
“ S?ren .”
“Yes,” he said, “Yes, yes, Cillian, fuck ,” and he came, and then I did, and―
And I just about died. It was amazing and intense and almost painful, the sudden surge of pleasure so strong it blinded me. How did people live through this? If I could have died right then, I would have gone happy, but I couldn’t die; I could never do that to S?ren again. I inhaled his breaths and used his strength to hold myself up, and eventually I existed again without feeling like I’d been broken open.
We separated just enough to clean up a little and then drowsed in the bed, wrapped up together. I have to get a bigger bed , I mused as we dozed. Or maybe not―it was kind of nice to be so close. I opened my eyes and turned to ask S?ren about it, and—
“That was very enjoyable.”
“ Holy shit! ” I reared back and fell off the bed as purple eyes met mine. I hit the floor hard, taking the cover with me. Lady came out from her basket and licked at my chin, and S?ren—the v?ttir—stared down at me with amusement.
“Well, that looked exciting.”
“How long have you been here?” I asked.
“Not long. I didn’t interfere in the act itself, if that is your concern. I felt it, of course, through S?ren.” The v?ttir smiled at me. “You’ve made him very happy.”
“Yeah, well you’ve ruined the afterglow, so thanks,” I muttered.
“We should have done that long ago.”
“No, no we shouldn’t have.”
He frowned. “But we’re all joined together now. There is no greater expression of appreciation than giving each other such pleasure.”
“The answer is still no,” I said. “What S?ren and I do in bed is a two-person affair. Two, not three, okay?”
“But you are meant to keep me happy. How else will you do so?”
I stared blankly at the ceiling for a moment. How was this my life? Fuck. “How do you feel about waffles right now?” I asked finally.
S?ren beamed at me. “I would love some waffles.”
“All right. Let’s get dressed, and we can go get a late breakfast.” I could take Lady for a walk too.
This new life wasn’t perfect. But it was what I had, and in the absence of knowing the future, I would take the path that looked the best. Right now, this was it.
I had no idea what was next for us. But I was looking forward to finding out.
~*~*~*~
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