Chapter 8

Pan waited as long as he could before he sought out Eurydice.

It wasn’t long.

It didn’t sit right with him that Orpheus had already uprooted Eurydice from her home and demanded she move in with him; he’d heard the trees whispering about it. Eurydice had suffered in the Underworld until Makaria had shown her the forests, and Pan had put up a mighty fight with Hades himself in order to get access.

After Pan departed Hades’s receiving hall in a fury, Pan sought refuge amongst the very same trees. He forced himself to take long, slow breaths as he settled underneath one of his favorite olive trees. It was a direct replica of his favorite olive tree outside of Athens—as above, so below. There was a particular spot on the tree trunk where some of the knots in the wood created the perfect alcove for Pan’s wide shoulders and a wonderful spot for taking a long nap in the shade. Pan had a sneaking suspicion that Eurydice had actually grown this tree for him. It had appeared in the Underworld mysteriously close to his festival days, but she’d denied it.

Pan rolled his shoulders and closed his eyes, remembering the telltale blush that colored Eurydice’s cheeks when she tried to deny any responsibility for replicating his favorite tree in the Underworld. It was a small gesture—growing a tree was as easy as breathing for a nymph—but it spoke to something much bigger. Eurydice wanted Pan to feel comfortable in the Underworld; she wanted his presence around. He tried to keep his thoughts on those happier memories.

“I’m sorry I don’t remember our wedding day.” Eurydice’s voice cut through the tree branches, and Pan was yanked from his stupor. Without thinking, he sat up straighter and angled his body towards the sound of Eurydice’s voice, every part of him always subconsciously searching for her.

Pan listened in, easily picking up the sounds of Orpheus and Eurydice conversing with one another as they weaved through the trees.

Undoubtedly on their way to pack up Eurydice’s things. The thought made Pan’s stomach drop. The last thing he wanted to do was witness Eurydice packing up her things and leaving their sacred grove, the little pocket of nature they’d curated here in the Underworld. His curiosity got the best of him, which he always blamed on his lineage from Hermes, and he inched quietly towards the path. He kept himself hidden among the branches, utterly undetectable amongst the flora and fauna. It was one of the benefits of being a god of the wild.

“I’ve never seen you so concerned with your appearance. You were bent out of shape over it. You had at least three different nymphs attempt to do your hair, and you weren’t happy with any of the results.”

Orpheus’s recollection of the wedding made Pan grow livid, the realization of what was happening slowly reigniting the rage he’d attempted to quiet.

He’s rewriting their story together. Pan thought he was going to be sick. This isn’t how it happened at all!

Pan nearly broke his cover, fighting off the temptation to leap out from his cover in the bushes and rip Orpheus limb from limb. His own power started rolling off him in waves, and Pan struggled to keep it contained in order to keep Eurydice from sensing him. The anger boiling under his skin erupted, and Pan’s horns burst forth from their glamour, his hooves and tail emerging alongside them. It took only a few mere seconds, and Pan had shifted into his full expression as a satyr, feeling too furious and livid to maintain his human appearance.

“I guess a woman’s wedding day is the one day she’s allowed to be that preoccupied with her appearance.” Eurydice’s demure response shot Pan through the heart. He was shaking with the effort it took to keep himself concealed.

No, no, Eurydice… Pan cried out to any of the gods that might be listening. That’s not right at all. You couldn’t have been less concerned with what you looked like. We got so drunk that morning, you were almost late for the ceremony. You were more worried about missing the start of the harvest.

“I do hope that you’ll plan on dressing a little bit more appropriately now that I’m here.” Orpheus’s cruel comment cut through Pan’s recollection, and he surprised himself by just how much deeper his rage could get. Eurydice had always found freedom in dressing in shorter tunics, those favored by children or young men, and Pan couldn’t think of anything that mattered less.

Who cares what she wears? Pan snorted before quickly covering his mouth in an attempt to keep his hiding spot from being discovered. Besides, Orpheus is a damn fool. You want to deprive yourself of staring at Eurydice’s legs all day? Even though no one could read his thoughts, Pan blushed nonetheless as he peered through the leaves and dared get another glimpse of Eurydice.

She looked uncomfortable walking next to Orpheus, her steps unsure and her expression unsatisfied. Pan ached for her, and a deep need arose in him to make her smile. She was wearing her customary shorter tunic, and Pan nearly lost himself in visions of her lithe shape, dreaming of what she looked like when she allowed flowers and vines to twist up her ankles like jewelry.

“What do you mean by that?” Eurydice turned to Orpheus, the hurt written plainly across her face. Pan wanted Orpheus’s blood.

“Well, you’re dressed like a child, Eurydice. It’s not fitting for either of us, especially considering how many eyes are going to be on us for a while. We’re the hottest thing to happen in the Underworld since… I don’t know. Regardless, it wouldn’t hurt for you to clean up a little.”

Orpheus sounded bored, as if there was anything he’d rather be doing than walking with the lost love of his life. Pan shifted his weight from one foot to the other, reaching the edge of his limit as he watched Orpheus criticize Eurydice. He forced himself to stop following Eurydice and Orpheus for a minute, closing his eyes and breathing slowly. If he listened to Orpheus for another second, there was a very real possibility that he was going to emerge from the forest like a wild, unhinged satyr and snap Orpheus’s neck.

Pan’s wild streak was as synonymous with his presence as his satyr form; he struggled with keeping his temper out of the common lore that surrounded him. It would only frighten his human worshippers if they knew how frequently Pan might be pushed to horrendous fury with an angry streak that could only be matched by Ares or Hephaestus. Unlike the other gods, Pan’s anger was only ever triggered in defense of those he loved—the nymphs, the dryads, the forests themselves, and of course, Eurydice. If an overzealous farmer cleared out too many of Pan’s trees, his vengeance would know no bounds. Now that Orpheus was hellbent on rewriting his story with Eurydice and guilting her in the process… Pan needed to get his heartbeat under control.

Once Pan was able to open his eyes and not see red, he slowly crept through the underbrush and caught up to Orpheus and Eurydice. They entered the small clearing where Eurydice had been living, and Orpheus’s critique pushed Pan to the edge in record time.

“Is this trivial shed where you’ve been living? I’ve seen more impressive stables. No matter. Grab what you need, Eurydice, and let’s get out of here.”

Pan picked up the pace and jogged around to the back of Eurydice’s home, slipping through the backdoor. He heard one set of footsteps enter through the front, assuming that Orpheus was waiting behind in the clearing.

What sort of husband doesn’t want to see where his wife has been living for forty years? Pan forced himself to take another slow breath, slowly poking his head into the main room of the dwelling.

Eurydice was furiously wiping at her eyes, which were red with unshed tears. Pan watched for a moment while she put her hair up, released it, then put it up again, as if she was undecided on how to wear her own hair. She looked uncomfortable in her home, Orpheus’s comments clearly making her feel judged and nervous. There was a fleeting expression of anger that flickered in her eyes, and Pan could practically see the furious debate Eurydice was having with herself.

“Eurydice?” Pan whispered, peeking into the doorway. “Are you packing?”

Eurydice jolted and turned towards Pan, her eyes widening in surprise before breaking into a wide smile. Relief blanketed her expression, and her response to Pan’s presence further twisted the knife in his chest.

“Pan,” Eurydice exhaled heavily in comfort, “what are you doing here?” Eurydice crossed the space of the small dwelling and threw her hands around his neck, pulling him in for a tight hug. Pan couldn’t help himself from grabbing her tightly, as if he could pour all the unspoken love he had for her into one embrace. Everything about holding Eurydice in his arms felt right,and when she pulled away, his heart broke all over again.

“I heard that you were moving closer to the other souls in Asphodel, wherever Orpheus will be living,” Pan tucked a piece of Eurydice’s hair behind her ear, “and I wanted to come see you off.” Eurydice panicked slightly, her hand flying out to grip Pan’s bicep.

“Will you not come see me anymore?” The terrified look in her eyes made Pan want to carve his own horns off if he could alleviate her distress.

“Of course I will.” He put on a huge, warm smile for her benefit. “Don’t be ridiculous, Eurydice. I’m limited to the forests of the Underworld, though. You know this. It’s the only place Hades will allow me to return to freely, but I’ll sneak anywhere to see you.”

“As if you could keep me from the trees,” Eurydice sighed happily. She turned around and took inventory of the room, tossing a few small keepsakes of flower stems and ribbons into a bag. “I wouldn’t move out of here, honestly, but it’s only fair to give this a chance.”

Pan didn’t know if she was talking about living with Orpheus or giving Orpheus himself a chance, but he bit his tongue. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep from telling her the truth if they started talking about her relationship with Orpheus, and Pan wasn’t capable of giving her unbiased advice.

Eurydice moved around the room, her feet barely touching the ground as she practically floated through the bare earth home. Pan had helped her build it, adding vines and blooming flowers into the thatched roof so she’d always be surrounded by nature.

It’ll physically hurt her to be away from the forest… Pan thought to himself as he watched Eurydice. Does Orpheus even know that? Does he care?

Eurydice stopped in front of a wall of ivy, which Pan had spent an entire afternoon helping her build indoors. The wooden grate which supported the vines was hand carved, with Pan refusing to use his magic but insisting on doing it himself.

“Will you take this?” Eurydice indicated towards the trellis. “I hate the thought of it sitting here without anyone to enjoy it. You worked so hard on it.” Eurydice’s eyes were sad as she stared at it. A surge of pride ran through Pan as he realized how much Eurydice loved something he made.

“How about this,” Pan offered, stepping closer to her, “I’ll move it for you. Find a place in your new home or garden for it, and I’ll bring it there.”

“Oh, will you?” Eurydice turned to him, her face lighting up. “I’d hate to leave it behind.”

“Of course.” Pan smiled at her, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll bring you some clippings too so you can regrow the vines.”

Eurydice’s smile widened even further. “That would be amazing if you could—”

“Eurydice!” Orpheus shouted impatiently. Pan could hear him pacing out in the clearing. “How many things could you possibly have in there?”

Eurydice flushed with embarrassment, turning away from Pan. “I’m sorry about that,” she whispered, only speaking to Pan. “I think he’s still adjusting, you know? It’s going to take some time for us to… I don’t know… mesh.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Pan waved it off. Everything in him was shouting to tell Eurydice to leave Orpheus behind and don’t look back, but he knew she was confused and overwhelmed by the reunion. She didn’t need another opinion telling her what to do with her relationships. Eurydice was a strong woman; she’d figure it out.

She doesn’t know all her options, part of Pan’s heart chimed in. She doesn’t know how you feel about her. Pan throttled the notion and watched as Eurydice exhaled in relief at Pan’s response, clearly pleased he wasn’t judging her or Orpheus. Externally, at least.

“I should get going.” Eurydice pointed towards the door, throwing her small bag over her shoulder. “I’ll see you later, all right?”

“You always know where to find me.” Pan winked, leaning against the wall and snapping his fingers, causing the trellis to vanish. “Let me know where you want it, and it’ll reappear there.”

“What would I do without you?” Eurydice giggled happily, hugging Pan tightly. She released him before he was able to return the gesture, turning on her heel and running out of the house without looking back. Pan forced himself to exit through the back door, unable to listen to Orpheus bark any more commands at Eurydice. He disappeared through the trees, praying the sweet smell of Eurydice’s hair wouldn’t ever leave his senses.