Chapter Twelve - Gabe

Now that he'd finally gotten a taste of his boy's mouth, Gabe wasn't going to stop any time soon. Ev was so sweet. So perfect. He opened for Gabe eagerly and kissed back with every bit of the enthusiasm Gabe had expected from his little tiger. Gabe just wished it wasn't so loud in the club so that he could hear the sounds that were vibrating against his lips.

Finally releasing his boy's mouth, he let Ev hide against his shoulder. Ev's hands were fisted in the back of his shirt, and they didn't have a centimeter of space between them. At least he wasn't trying to bolt. Gabe trailed kisses down Ev's neck and pressed his lips to the warm skin, breathing him in. He moved them to music he could barely hear, all his focus on the boy whose pulse was pounding against his lips.

He knew Ev was in a precarious spot, still determined that he shouldn't date his boss, but clearly wanting more from Gabe. The trick for tonight would be to keep him from thinking about it too hard. Tomorrow, they could have the conversation they so sorely needed. Because despite his best efforts, Gabe had fallen hard for his boy, and he wasn't going to let him go without fighting for this thing between them.

Ev was the perfect mix of sweet and sassy. He kept Gabe on his toes at work, wowed him with his talent for both music and people, and slotted into his life, both kinky and vanilla, like they'd been made for each other. Gabe was probably an asshole for subverting the kink-only arrangement—especially since he'd been the one to propose it—but there was no helping that now. Ev was everything he'd never expected. Now, he just needed to figure out how to get past his boy's stubborn streak and prove that, despite Gabe breaking all of their rules, Ev could trust him to be not only his Daddy, but his everything else as well.

A hand appeared in his line of sight and waved to get his attention. Gabe looked up to see Nick, who had a knowing smirk on his face. Gabe's eyes narrowed. Nick could keep his expressions to himself, thank you very much. Nick gestured over his shoulder to where Xavier was on his way from the bar with a tray of drinks, his boy next to him, sipping on something bright blue.

Gabe nudged Ev to get him to lift his head. "Drinks," he said, then turned Ev so his back was to Gabe's front.

Ev accepted the matching blue drink Xavier handed him. Gabe took one that was less blue and smelled like his preferred whiskey. The other members of their party gathered around to toast Ev again, then some of them peeled off to dance more. The rest headed back upstairs to the igloo Gabe had reserved for the event.

Back on the roof and away from the worst of the noise, Gabe settled on one of the low sofas and pulled Ev down next to him, tucked under his arm. Ev was suspiciously quiet, so Gabe squeezed him closer and was rewarded with a soft sigh and his boy relaxing. Finn plopped down on Ev's other side, and the two of them started a conversation about a video game that Gabe couldn't follow. He wasn't a gamer—he'd deferred to Finn's expertise when choosing Ev's birthday presents.

Xavier settled on Gabe's other side, stretching out his long legs and crossing them at the ankle. He sipped his drink, watching Gabe with an indecipherable expression. "Finn's birthday is in March. I'm taking him to the Maldives, and he's asked if Ev can come along."

Gabe controlled his reaction. "I'll make sure he has the time off."

Xavier raised his eyes to the plastic grid above them and sighed. "Do I need to give you the same speech you gave me four months ago?"

"I don't recall a speech," Gabe returned, tone flat.

"I believe the gist of it was, ‘Get off your ass and say what you need to say before you confuse him with mixed signals.'"

Oh, right. That speech. Gabe glanced down at Ev, but he was oblivious, fully engaged in his conversation with Finn—and looking like the latest round of drinks was going right to his head. Gabe would make sure his next one was water. "No," he told Xavier. "No kicks in the ass necessary. I'm aware of what I need to do."

Xavier nodded, satisfied. "Good. I'll have Asher reserve the adjoining villa."

Gabe rolled his eyes. "Maybe hold off for a few days. Not all of us share your optimism."

Xavier leaned over and clinked the rim of his glass against Gabe's. "I have faith in you."

Gabe woke the next morning to Ev sprawled across his chest and snoring cutely. God, Gabe was in trouble when he even thought his boy's snoring was cute. This "feelings" business was ridiculous, and the worst part was, he didn't even care. He wanted a thousand more mornings just like this—the sun poking through the narrow crack in the curtains, the sheets tangled around their legs from Ev's aggressive cuddling, Ev's warm skin against his own, and the rest of the world a distant, unimportant rumble on the street below their apartment window.

Gabe let his hand drift over Ev's skin, needing to memorize the moment—just in case. There were so many ways this could go wrong. And Ev was as stubborn as Gabe was convincing, so there was no telling how their conversation would turn out. Gabe could say and do everything right, and Ev might still decide it wasn't worth it. His boy had been hurt by more than one piece of shit who'd held power over him. Gabe couldn't blame him for being wary.

Their kink arrangement had been an easy solution. One that allowed Ev to continue protecting himself but, at the same time, get something he needed from Gabe. Now Gabe wanted Ev to let him in, to make himself vulnerable, to trust Gabe with more than just his body and his mind.

Gabe was afraid that was going to be a tough sell.

Ev stirred in his arms, taking a deep breath and letting it out with a sigh before scrunching up his nose and smacking his lips.

Fuck, Gabe was in love with him. "Morning, tiger," he murmured, pressing a kiss to Ev's messy hair and continuing the strokes up and down his back. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, Daddy," Ev said, nuzzling Gabe's throat. That was a good sign. He'd woken up when it was still dark with his "brain exploding," but Gabe had been able to get two glasses of water and some painkillers into him before he passed out again. Gabe was hoping he'd slept through the worst of his hangover.

"Do you want me to make you breakfast or just some toast?"

Ev didn't answer right away, brushing his fingers over the dusting of hair on Gabe's chest. He hadn't bothered to wax recently, and his boy seemed to enjoy it. "Can we have crispy bacon?" Ev asked finally.

Gabe chuckled. "I'll do my best." He gave Ev's ass a light smack, careful of his bruises. "Out of bed, lazybones. Go take a shower and some more painkillers while I make you food."

"Yes, Daddy," Ev said. He climbed to his feet and stretched, giving a show with his taut abs, pierced nipples, and tattooed arms. Then he turned a sleepy smile on Gabe, his hair wild and falling in his eyes, one cheek pink from resting on Gabe's bare chest. "Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"

Of fucking course Gabe did, but if they got started, he wouldn't be able to stop, and they needed to have this conversation before Gabe got himself any deeper—or chickened out. He pushed himself up to his elbows. "I showered after you fell back asleep this morning," he told Ev. "And your crispy bacon isn't going to make itself." He raised an eyebrow.

Ev snickered, expression turning mischievous. "Okay, but I can't promise I won't have fun without you."

That was the other problem. If Gabe wasn't careful, Ev would slip into his middle space, and Gabe needed him fully grown-up for their adult conversation. "Get out of here, brat," he said, aiming another swat at Ev's ass. "You're too tempting."

Ev dodged, laughing, and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Fuck, Gabe hoped that wasn't the last time he'd get to hear that laugh.

He forced himself from the bed and to the kitchen, where he guzzled two glasses of water, trying to get rid of the last of the previous night's dehydration. As he waited for the bacon to start sizzling, he started the coffee and cracked some eggs in a bowl to scramble. Then he checked his phone. He had the normal number of emails after a day off, but Asher had been kind enough to handle the important stuff while they celebrated his boy's birthday. There was also a text from Xavier that had come in sometime that morning.

Xavier

Hi. Just remember. His whole life, people have used him. It's always been about what they wanted from him and never what was best for Ev. And when he fought to make his own choices, he got hurt. First by his parents, then that producer, and then his old boss. I know he's stubborn, but I promise he really likes you. He's just scared of being hurt again. Please be careful with him.

-Finn

So, not from Xavier. Gabe read Finn's message again. He was such a sweet boy. And a good friend. Ev and Xavier were both lucky to have him. And Gabe was grateful for his advice, though he wasn't sure he needed it.

Gabe flipped the bacon and was adding the eggs to a pan when Ev walked into the kitchen. He was wearing sweats and a hoodie, fresh from his shower and looking more awake. He crossed to Gabe and hugged him from behind, resting his cheek between Gabe's shoulder blades.

"That smells fucking amazing," he said, squeezing Gabe's waist.

Gabe grabbed one of Ev's hands and brought it to his mouth, kissing the back of it. "Go set the table."

Ev skipped off to do as he was told while Gabe plated their breakfast and carried it to the round table by the windows that overlooked Bryant Park and the library. He retreated for their coffee, doctoring Ev's to be distressingly sweet before returning to the table. Ev chose the seat next to him and dug into his breakfast with a groan of pleasure.

"Nothing is better than bacon when you're hungover," he announced, crunching on a strip, his lips shiny with grease.

Gabe would agree with him, except he was so nervous he couldn't taste the fucking food.

Ev's movements slowed when Gabe didn't reply. He shifted in his seat and wiped his fingers on his napkin, his eyes not leaving his plate. "So, um. Thank you. For yesterday. That was the best birthday I've ever had." He licked the bacon grease off his lips then fiddled with his piercing.

"You're welcome," Gabe managed to say, instead of dragging Ev into his lap and kissing the breath out of him the way he wanted to. "I'm glad you had a good day." He took a gulp of his coffee—which was too hot for that—and coughed. "We should talk—"

"This isn't working."

Gabe's stomach dropped. Fuck. Fuck. He set down his mug with a careful tap and took a steadying breath. "No. It's not."

Ev's head jerked up, his eyes wide. "It's not?"

Gabe sighed and rested his elbows on the table, forearms folded. "The most important thing in this kind of arrangement is that we're both on the same page, and I don't know that we are anymore."

Ev's cheeks darkened, and he tugged harder on his piercing, twisting it back and forth. "I'm sorry. I should never have kissed you. I thought I could do this, but I can't."

Gabe's chest hurt, but he kept his expression neutral. If Ev wanted out, Gabe was going to give it to him. He would give him whatever he wanted without a fuss. It was the least he could do after pressing the boy into the arrangement in the first place.

"I want more," Ev blurted, his eyes going misty. "I know I'm being stupid, and I'm breaking my own rules. But I can't help it. I'm sorry. I—"

Gabe cut him off by giving in and dragging him from the chair and into his lap, unable to let him stay at arm's length. "Stop," he said firmly. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"But we both agreed to kink only. No feelings. And I'm screwing it all up."

Gabe cupped the back of Ev's neck and pressed their foreheads together. "If you're screwing it up, then I am too. And I'm worse, because I knew from the beginning I wouldn't be able to keep my emotions separate from what I want from you."

Ev shivered and pressed closer, his eyes squeezed shut. "What does that mean?"

"Look at me, Everett," Gabe said, voice firm.

Ev's eyes opened, and he looked up reluctantly.

"Hi," Gabe said when he could see him again.

"Hi," Ev returned with a wobbly smile, still sounding unsure.

"I fell for you," Gabe told him. "I feel things with you that I've never felt with anyone before."

"What kinds of things?" Ev asked, his hands twisting in the front of Gabe's shirt and his voice more hopeful.

Gabe released a painful breath that became a low chuckle. "I want to wax poetic about you, and I'm not the poetic type. Hell, I think your snoring is cute." He ignored Ev's huff of outrage, determined to put his cards on the table and let Ev do what he would with them. "I like the way you get worked up and shout at your video game characters for being bad at their jobs. You make me want to leave the office early so I have more time alone with you. I'd eat Thai food every night if that's what you wanted, even though I cringe at the number of carbs. I hate that you haven't left anything here other than a toothbrush, and I know it's too soon for you to move in, but I've already started making space in my closet. I get jealous when you pay attention to Remy—which is something I should probably work on because it's not very healthy—but you also make me want to work on it because I think Remy could be a good friend to you, and I don't want you to lose that. Fuck. Xavier has every right to make fun of me for how I am around you after the way I teased him over Finn." He tilted Ev's face up and brushed a kiss to his lips. "Despite my best efforts, I fell in love with you, tiger. And I know being with your boss scares the shit out of you, so if you don't want a relationship with me, that's okay. I can figure out some other outlet for my feelings. Maybe I'll take up golf." Gabe tried not to cringe at that horrifying thought. Then he made himself shut up and wait for Ev to process, when all he wanted to do was start listing all the reasons his boy should agree to date him. They were good together and clearly found each other attractive. Gabe wasn't an asshole like Ev's ex. Their kinks lined up amazingly well. They had similar morals and the same sarcastic sense of humor. They both enjoyed good food and travel, and Gabe was in love with him.

"—Daddy, are you listening to me?"

"No," Gabe admitted. "I'm too busy panicking over what I'm going to do if you say no." But Ev didn't look like he was going to say no. He was smiling at Gabe with tears on his cheeks and his eyes shining brightly. He cupped Gabe's face and rubbed their noses together in a bunny kiss. Gabe blew out a relieved breath. Fuck, he was going to give himself a heart attack at this rate.

"Maybe there's something wrong with me," Ev started. "Because I told myself I was going to stop doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, yet here we are." He gave a weak chuckle. "Still, everyone keeps telling me this is different, you're different. So maybe I just need to have a little faith."

"I should probably be offended at the comparison to the assholes from your past." Ev winced and opened his mouth, but Gabe kissed him to cut him off. "But I'm not. I get it. You wouldn't be the boy I'm in love with if you weren't a stubborn brat."

"Hey!" Ev smacked Gabe's chest with the back of his hand, his lips twisting as he fought a laugh.

Gabe caught his hand and kissed the back of it. "Say the word, and I'll find you a different job, a better one even since your boss wouldn't be such an asshole."

Ev shook his head and slid his arms up, draping them over Gabe's shoulders. "I don't want a different job. I like the one I have, and I'm good at it. And if my boss is too much of an asshole, I know how to put him in his place."

Gabe kissed the inside of Ev's elbow, then his bicep, enjoying smooth skin under his lips. "And how's that?"

Ev smirked. "Did I ever tell you how I got back at my old boss?"

Gabe shook his head.

"I filled the vents in his car with pink glitter and replaced his presentation to the board of directors with a slideshow of his cheating dick pics and dirty texts."

Gabe laughed, absurdly proud of his boy. "Good for you. Personally, if I had been there, he wouldn't have gotten away with all his body parts fully functioning." He caught Ev by the chin and continued more seriously. "I will do everything in my power to keep from hurting you, but if I ever do, I want you to make me pay for it. Get Xavier in on it. And your new friend Remy. Hell, I'll give you Jack's and Max's numbers too. I fully expect you to ruin me because I would fucking deserve it."

Ev laughed wetly and hid his face in Gabe's neck, hugging him. "Deal," he said, voice muffled. Gabe hugged him back just as hard, not saying a word when the laughter turned to hot tears against his skin. He meant it when he said he would never hurt his boy, and he would spend however long he needed to making sure Ev had no reason to doubt that. And if he was lucky, maybe he'd get to hear those three little words back one day soon.