6. Five - Izzy

Izzy stared at his plate, unseeing, his entire focus on the contact between them. He couldn’t remember what he’d been doing or thinking thirty seconds ago. Eating, maybe? He swallowed hard. What the fuck?

What was Keegan doing ?

It was bad enough that his friends decided tonight was the night to change up the seating arrangements, forcing Keegan and Izzy to sit next to each other. The table had never felt so small—even when there was twelve of them. Every shift of Keegan’s body brought him dangerously close to Izzy’s personal space bubble. Izzy would have been hanging off the far side of his chair, except Archer was on that side, and he’d given Izzy an unimpressed eyebrow when he’d tried it. Instead, he was trapped, Keegan’s sleeve cutting through the air and coming within centimeters of him, lifting the hair on Izzy’s arms, making his skin crawl.

This was Micah’s fault. He was the only one who kept pushing Izzy to get along with Keegan. He’d even made that joke about locking them in a room together until they worked their shit out. But Micah didn’t know what had happened the last time they’d been alone in a room together. Izzy had lost his composure, all of his restraint, and his goddamn mind. He was desperately trying not to think about that night. Nothing good would come from dwelling on it. It wasn’t ever going to happen again. It shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

Apparently, Keegan hadn’t gotten that message, even though Izzy had done his best to convey it the next morning, because his hand was still on Izzy’s thigh. He rubbed his thumb back and forth, back and forth, barely moving it but stealing every ounce of Izzy’s focus. Izzy refused to be turned on.

Finally…finally, the meal ended. Keegan gave Izzy’s knee a final squeeze, then pushed back from the table. Izzy released a breath that shook and looked up to see Nick watching him, a hint of amusement on his lips.

Izzy scowled. Was he the one who’d set this up? Did he think Izzy’s discomfort was funny? They barely even knew each other. Izzy turned away, gathering his dishes and taking the plate to the trash to dump the mangled remains of a few potatoes and carrots. He didn’t remember doing that. He got rid of the evidence, then begged off after-dinner drinks and hightailed it back to the barn and his loft.

It was a short, dark walk—freezing cold since Izzy hadn’t bothered to bring his coat up to the house—but the icy winter air managed to clear his head some. He paused once he got inside, gripping the bars on a stall door, and scrubbed his palm against his thigh, trying to erase the phantom touch that wouldn’t stop.

That was the second time Keegan had touched him—not counting the thing in the bathroom that Izzy wasn’t thinking about. That had been… Well, Izzy wasn’t assigning blame, but that time, Keegan hadn’t done the touching. This, though—this casual, possessive shit—made Izzy’s blood boil. Who did Keegan think he was? The next time Izzy got a chance, he was going to let the asshole know exactly how he felt about it.

The big rolling door slid open behind him, then rattled shut again with a thud. “Fuck, it’s cold out here,” Keegan said. His voice made Izzy freeze up all over again. All he could hear was the echo of “be a good boy” in that low, smooth timbre. It made his stomach—and other things farther south—clench with want.

Instead of answering, Izzy went to feed the rescues their final meal of the night. They were doing well with refeeding, and Keegan had agreed before he’d left on Friday that they could skip two a.m. and move to late evening and early morning. It suited Izzy’s schedule much better.

He tried to ignore the movement behind him as he dumped a handful of grain mixed with supplements into Klaus’s bucket, but apparently Keegan wasn’t going to let him have any peace.

“Ryan said he helped you with their feet today. I told you I’d be back in time to do it.”

Izzy bristled at the reprimand. “Well, I didn’t need you,” he snapped, ignoring his unfortunate word choice and moving on. “Sunny’s getting easier to handle. She only kicked the bucket over once.” And tried to eat Ryan’s face, but he wasn’t going to mention that part.

“Glad to hear it,” Keegan said from way too close. “Maybe we can go without sedatives tomorrow.”

Izzy swallowed against the tightness in his throat, his skin prickling. “Why are you here?” he asked at the same time that Keegan said, “We should talk about what happened.”

“Nothing. Nothing happened,” Izzy said, before he could process the question.

Keegan sighed. “Izzy—”

“No,” Izzy shot back. No. He didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to acknowledge it at all. He wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened until he couldn’t feel Keegan’s hands in his hair or the way Keegan’s perfect cock filled his mouth. The taste of him. His scent. Izzy wanted it all to go away.

“Isaac,” Keegan said more firmly, his tone carrying that hint of dominance that was Izzy’s kryptonite.

Izzy shivered, his cock trying to get in on the action, despite Izzy swearing to it that there was no action. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” Keegan was closer.

Don’t come any closer. Don’t call me that. Don’t tell me what to do. Except Izzy couldn’t voice the words.

Every last one of them was a lie.

It was infuriating.

“Go to hell,” he snapped, then tried to walk away.

A hand gripped his arm, firm and unyielding when he tried to shake it off. “I don’t think that’s what you want,” Keegan said, so right that it filled Izzy with rage.

“I told you, you don’t know me.” Izzy tried to sneer his words, but they came out all wrong, tight and desperate. Dammit. He snapped, lashing out, but Keegan caught his other arm too and twisted his wrists behind his back, shocking him into stillness. He trembled, lips parting as his breathing sped up and his cock thickened.

“I think I’ve got your number,” Keegan said, amusement in his tone, his breath hot against Izzy’s ear.

Izzy went light-headed, his skin burning as he gritted his teeth against the whine trying to leave his throat. Goddammit. He struggled but then quickly gave in. Keegan might be a few inches shorter than him, but he was really damn strong. It fucked with Izzy’s brain and made him want . He wanted Keegan to hold him tighter, to pin him down, to make Izzy take whatever he was willing to give. “Fuck you,” he whispered, letting his chin drop against his chest, his head too heavy to hold up at the moment.

Lips brushed the sensitive back of his neck, and Izzy’s breath hitched. Keegan squeezed his wrists, sending tingles all the way up his arms and into his brain. “What do you want, Isaac?” Keegan asked, low and amused, like he already knew the answer.

A million responses flooded Izzy’s mind, insults and encouragement, protests and fantasies. His mouth was dry, and he was breathing too fast. “Do it,” he finally got out, hoping that was enough.

It wasn’t. Keegan sighed, sounding disappointed, which just made Izzy bristle. “You can do better than that,” he scolded.

Izzy burned, not sure if it was from anger, embarrassment, or arousal. Mostly anger, he decided. Because Keegan knew what he wanted, and he was an ass for making Izzy say it.

“I will fuck you as hard as you want, brat. But not until you ask for it.” Teeth scraped Izzy’s earlobe. “No more pretending.”

That shouldn’t be what Izzy wanted to hear. Keegan was calling him out, and Izzy should hate it. Instead, it made him feel safe. “I want it,” he blurted on a gasp. “Make me take it.” He jerked against Keegan’s hold, and the next thing he knew, he was facedown on a stack of hay bales, the stalks scratching his cheek, Keegan’s grip on his wrists painful and comforting in equal measure.

“You want me to stop, you call red,” Keegan said.

Izzy jerked a nod. “Yes, sir.”

Keegan swore under his breath and forced Izzy’s hands up over his head. His knuckles bumped the bars of the stall. “Will you keep them there?”

Izzy wrapped his fingers around the cold metal and laughed. “No.”

Keegan let out an exasperated chuckle. “Of course not.” A moment later, Izzy heard the metallic slide of a lead rope clip. Oh god. Keegan wound the rope deftly around Izzy’s wrists and tied it off.

Izzy lifted his head and eyed it, then had to laugh again. Keegan had tied a quick-release knot. The kind they used for securing the horses. Izzy could get out of it without much effort if he tried…but he didn’t want to try. His cock was rock hard and leaking in his underwear, his balls already heavy and aching.

Keegan cut off his laughter by pressing up behind him. Keegan was hard, just as hard as Izzy, his cock a steel shaft against the soft curve of Izzy’s ass.

Izzy pressed his forehead into his bicep and tried to breathe. Fuck, the sounds that wanted to leave him would be goddamn embarrassing if they escaped.

A moment later, Keegan’s hands slid down his back, digging into the muscles and making Izzy arch, a moan caught in his throat. Then they went back up, under his shirt this time, and a sound did escape, a desperate whimper at the sensation of warm skin against his. Izzy’s breath hitched, and he pulled against the rope, squirming with the need to hurry this along. “Stop stalling,” he snapped. “If you’re gonna fuck me, then do it.”

Keegan’s heat left him abruptly, but Izzy didn’t have time to so much as shiver before fiery pain lit up his backside, the sound of the slap registering a second later.

“Oh fuck,” Izzy whined as the sting spread through him and his back arched, his hips searching for more. He fucking loved being spanked.

“Bossy.” Keegan’s chuckle was breathless and aroused. “I’d threaten you with more where that came from, but I think you’d enjoy it too much.”

Izzy nodded. Yes, he fucking would. His thoughts on how to convince Keegan to give him more got derailed when Keegan’s hands dipped under him and popped the button on his jeans. He froze as the zipper was lowered and his jeans were dragged down his thighs until they bunched around his knees, exposing his burning skin to the cold air.

“Gorgeous,” Keegan said, cupping Izzy’s ass in his hands and kneading.

Izzy focused on breathing again when Keegan pulled his cheeks apart and air touched his hole, making him clench.

Whatever Keegan said next was lost when the wet flat of his tongue slid across the sensitive skin. Izzy’s moan was embarrassingly loud, and Keegan made it worse by chuckling. Ugh. Izzy pressed his face harder to his bicep, hoping to muffle any further sounds. Bad enough he’d practically begged Keegan to fuck him; he didn’t need Keegan to also know how desperate he was for it.

Izzy needed this to be faster. He reached for his wallet, then remembered his hands were a little tied up at the moment. Instead, he lifted his head enough to say, “Lube’s in my wallet.”

That got him another stinging slap to the ass—still not a punishment—then Keegan was fishing around for his wallet. “Keep trying to boss me around. I like it when I get to tell you no.”

Izzy huffed in exasperation and shuffled his feet apart as far as he could with his jeans in the way. “That’s not—” he gasped at the trickle of oil against his skin “—the deterrent you think it is.” Instead of an answer, Izzy got two fingers stretching him open, then three, before Keegan slowed. His cock was throbbing where it hung, heavy between his thighs. Keegan dipped down and gave it a few slippery tugs that threatened to send Izzy straight over the edge.

“Condom?” Keegan asked.

Izzy shook his head. He hadn’t replaced the one in his wallet since the asshole on Friday had tossed it on the floor.

Keegan’s next tug was to hair. He pulled Izzy’s head back, forcing him to arch his neck. “Where are your condoms, Isaac?” Keegan asked, voice firm and impossible to ignore.

“Upstairs,” Izzy gasped, and then on the next breath, he said, “We don’t need them. Don’t leave.”

“I’m not leaving,” Keegan said, his voice soothing but his grip tightening.

Izzy winced, then flushed. He hadn’t meant for that part to be out loud. He wasn’t some needy little sub. “I got tested yesterday,” he explained. “I do it every three months. I’m negative, on PrEP, and I have DoxyPEP.” He hesitated, swallowed, then said again, “Don’t leave.”

His back warmed as Keegan draped over him, and Izzy’s breath stuttered. “I’m negative too.” He pressed a kiss to Izzy’s shoulder blade, lined up his cock, and sank inside.

Izzy’s brain short-circuited, every thought flying from his head at the perfect, painful stretch. He wasn’t prepared enough for it to be painless, which was just the way he liked it. “Oh fuck !” he shouted, arching to get more. Deeper.

Startled movement came from one of the stalls, and Keegan slapped a hand over Izzy’s mouth, muffling his next groan. “Hush, brat,” he said, hips rocking in tiny increments as Izzy adjusted. “You’ll scare the horses.”

Izzy had had plenty of semi-public sex—some of it in places he really shouldn’t have been. Volume wasn’t something he worried about. If he was enjoying himself, he didn’t care who knew it. And yet somehow, Keegan’s admonishment made his body flush hot with mortification and his cock pulse with precome.

He didn’t have a humiliation kink, dammit, and he didn’t want one.

Finally, Keegan started to pick up the pace, each thrust accompanied by a tug on Izzy’s hair that forced him into an arch. “Fuck, you’re so damn tight,” he groaned as he pressed deeper, pulled Izzy’s hair harder.

With his wrists tied, Izzy was helpless to do anything but take it. He couldn’t even stop the way the sharp ends of the hay were digging into his belly, cock, and thighs like a thousand tiny daggers. It was a good thing Izzy was turned on to the point that endorphins were blocking most of the pain, because he knew he was going to be a mess of scratches later. Not that he’d been fucked over a hay bale before, but he’d messed around enough to know the consequences of his actions…and maybe look forward to them a little.

His mouth dropped open when Keegan released his hair and grabbed him by the hips, dragging him back a step. Keegan wrapped a hand around Izzy’s cock and stroked with quick, sure movements. Izzy moaned, long and low, then sank his teeth into his bicep to muffle his shout as the pleasure he’d been barely keeping at bay rushed up and crashed over him.

Keegan swore colorfully as he sped up his movements, slamming into Izzy so hard that Izzy’s eyes rolled back and he almost came again. “Oh god, oh god, oh god,” he whimpered, clinging to the rope tying his wrists to the stall bars. Every time Keegan drove forward, Izzy lost his breath until he was dizzy from it. In less than a minute, Keegan was coming, his movements slowing as he groaned, then turning smooth and easy with the additional lubrication of his release.

Izzy dropped his forehead to the hay bale, sucking in ragged breaths as he tried to get his head to stop spinning and the spots to clear from his vision.

He felt a tug at his wrists, and then the lead rope loosened and fell away. Izzy didn’t care. He left his arms where they were, not sure he had any muscles left to move them. His legs were equally shaky, and he was glad he had the hay bales to support him. Those and Keegan’s cock, which was still deep in his ass, were the only things preventing him from melting to the floor.

Except then Keegan was pulling out, nice and easy. Izzy wrinkled his nose and gritted his teeth. That felt different without the barrier of latex muting things between them. The next thing that registered was the trickle of something hot and wet sliding down his inner thigh. Izzy clenched his hole, his heart skipping then starting to jackhammer against his rib cage.

Oh god.

He pushed himself upright fast enough that Keegan had to grab his hips to steady him. Izzy fumbled for his pants, dragging them into place and ignoring the cold, wet spot soaking into the material.

When he turned, Keegan was watching him with an unreadable expression. He’d already tucked himself away, and other than the flush to his cheeks and the unfastened top button of his pants, he looked utterly composed. “Is this the part where you run away again?”

Izzy flinched, then puffed up with righteous indignation. What the fuck? He didn’t fucking run . “No. This is the part where you get the hell out of my barn and we pretend the last ten minutes never happened.”

Keegan lifted an eyebrow. “I guarantee that was longer than ten minutes.”

“You can tell your buddies you lasted an hour for all I care,” Izzy shot back. “As long as you know it’s never happening again.” It shouldn’t have happened in the first place, and Izzy might never forgive himself for it.

“That didn’t take long,” Keegan said, tone somewhere between annoyed and resigned.

Izzy was done. His chest was tight, and all the scratches on his stomach and thighs were starting to sting. He needed to get back to his loft so he could have his mental breakdown in peace. And for that, he needed Keegan to leave. “Yeah, well, I got what I wanted, and I’ll assume you did too. No need to drag out an unremarkable fuck into something it isn’t.”

He didn’t wait for Keegan’s reaction. He brushed past and did his best to ignore his aching joints, sore ass, and the spreading dampness in his pants as he headed for his loft. He needed a shower. That was all.

He wasn’t running away.

Ev

So, weird question, but have any of you ever hooked up with someone you shouldn’t have?

Izzy read Ev’s message in the group chat and laughed so hard he started to wheeze before his knees gave out and he slid down the wall.

Alice paused next to him, a saddle balanced on her hip, and narrowed her eyes. “Are you broken?”

Izzy waved a hand until he caught his breath enough to speak. “I’m fine. Just the guys in the group chat,” Izzy said as he sent back about fifteen laugh-cry emojis.

Izzy

brB. DYING.

Alice shook her head and continued down the aisle to the tack room. She was adamant that she didn’t need to know what went on in their chat. They had a separate work group text that she was a part of. This one was just the boys. Micah, Eli, Archer, and, more recently, Finn and Ev, Finn’s buddy up in New York City. Izzy had only met him once in person, but he was a fun guy. There were even plans for everyone to make a trip up there soon.

Ev

So, that’s a yes?

Izzy didn’t get a chance to reply.

Eli

Izzy could teach a master class, TBF.

Which, rude . Also…true. Eli didn’t even know the extent of it. Izzy hadn’t told anyone about what had happened in the barn—or in the bathroom at the Lookout, for that matter. He still didn’t know what he’d been thinking. The first time was bad enough. At least he could claim that he’d been tipsy and horny after the app guy got him worked up then left him high and dry.

But the second time… He blamed Keegan. It never would have happened if the asshole hadn’t gotten so handsy at dinner. And even then, he didn’t need to follow Izzy back to the barn.

He didn’t need to make Izzy beg for it. That was almost worse than the fact that it had happened at all. Izzy didn’t beg. Not like that anyway. There was nothing wrong with some dirty talk. Begging a guy to fuck him harder, to make him come, was one thing. Telling Keegan he wanted it, calling him “sir,” begging him to stay and to fuck Izzy raw… That was something else entirely.

Izzy may or may not have had a small breakdown over it. He’d never gone without protection before, and it had fucked with his head. In the shower with steam billowing around him, he’d meant to wash Keegan off him as quickly as possible but instead found himself fingering his slick opening until he was hard again, and then jacking off all over the tiles as the water ran cold.

Once he came down, he’d stumbled out to sit on the bathroom floor and had one of the worst panic attacks of his life.

There was something really fucking wrong with his taste in men. Where was his self-preservation? Where was his integrity? Where was his fucking self-worth?

He’d made a promise to himself years ago that he wasn’t going to fuck Keegan Reid. Izzy had a hard and fast rule. He only went after men who wanted him. Keegan had made what he thought of Izzy crystal clear a long time ago. Izzy refused to give him a second opportunity. The bastard wasn’t worth his time.

Except he’d broken that promise. And he’d done it in the worst way possible, because now Keegan knew what a desperate slut Izzy was when it came to the annoyingly attractive older man, and nothing Izzy said or did could make Keegan unknow it.

Eli

Wait. I think I need to hear more about Finny’s bathroom adventures.

Izzy had missed something.

Izzy

You want to hear more about what ?

The conversation seemed to have devolved, but Micah got it back on track. Izzy felt for Ev when he revealed that he’d accidentally fucked his boss. Shit like that was bad news. Ask Izzy how he knew. When the conversation started to go off the rails again, he opened a new chat with Ev.

Izzy

I’d peace out if I were you, man. That power imbalance shit is no joke. Trust me on this one.

Ev

I think that’s what I’m worried about. Gabe seems okay, but my track record says my instincts aren’t worth crap.

Izzy

Mine are probably worse. LOL.

It was why he steered clear of anything longer than a one-night stand. He’d learned his lesson the hard way, but he’d learned it well. Izzy’s type was red-flag. Hopefully, Ev had better taste.

Izzy

Just… Look out for yourself, okay? Call me if you need to.

He tucked his phone away just as the doors to the barn slid open, and Nick walked in, brushing snowflakes out of his hair. When he noticed Izzy sitting on the ground, he stopped. “Do I need to tell Ry to get you guys some chairs?” he asked, his green eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled.

Izzy rolled his eyes and pushed himself to his feet. “We don’t need chairs. We have hay bales.” His brain supplied an image of what Keegan had done to him over one of said hay bales. If Nick noticed his blush, he’d hopefully attribute it to the cold. Izzy changed the subject anyway. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

Nick pulled off his leather gloves and tucked them into the pockets of his dark wool overcoat. You could take the guy out of the city, but things like fashion sense lingered. “Being in charge means I can take long lunch breaks and no one can tell me no,” Nick replied with an amused twist of his lips.

“If you’re looking for a quickie, neither of your booty calls are down here,” Izzy told him, oh-so helpfully. “Ryan’s in a virtual meeting with the accountant, and Micah went to help his dad get ready for the storm.” Judging by the snow he’d seen dusting Nick’s shoulders, Izzy could tell the storm had already started. They weren’t supposed to get much, but it was always better to be prepared up in the mountains. “Little Nicky will have to wait until tonight to play cowboys and city boy.”

Nick coughed, but Izzy could tell he was trying not to laugh. “Keegan’s right. You are a fucking brat.”

Izzy’s stomach clenched painfully as annoyance rushed over him. “Well, he’s a judgmental bastard, so I guess we’re even.”

Nick tilted his head, looking bemused. “How so?”

Izzy blinked. “What?”

“How is he judging you? I know I’ve only been around a year or so, but I’ve gotta say, I haven’t seen it. He’s kind of an asshole if he’s having a bad day, but—” He gestured to Izzy. “Case in point.”

Izzy scowled. Keegan judged him all the time. Like when he— Well, he— Izzy pressed his lips together and huffed. Okay, fine. So what if the only example he could think of was a long time ago? It was still valid. “Whatever. He just does. He has judgy eyes.”

Nick laughed, and Izzy kind of wanted to punch him. Jerk.

“Why are you even here?”

“Driving practice.” Nick had been teaching Alice to drive since the previous summer.

Izzy glanced at the closed door of the barn. “In the snow?” That didn’t seem safe. Alice still wasn’t the best driver. Especially when she got anxious.

“That makes it the perfect time. Might as well get it out of the way now instead of waiting until there’s no other choice.”

That sounded like a terrible idea to Izzy.