13. Twelve - Keegan

It had been a wild, risky guess, but Keegan had been proven right. Izzy, his brat, who searched out sex like it was his calling and never lacked for a willing partner, was touch-starved.

It made a lot of sense once Keegan thought about it. Izzy was an affectionate guy. When Keegan saw him out, he always had his arms around one of his friends, either on the dance floor or while they were chatting at the bar. Even at Sunday dinner, he was often in Micah’s space. He’d even seen Izzy pull Finn into his lap, making the shy young man blush and shoot Xavier “save me” looks until his Daddy came to extract him.

Keegan wouldn’t go so far as to say Izzy was trading sex for touch, but he did wonder if it was the reason for some of his desperation when it came to hooking up.

The tears hadn’t been a surprise either. In fact, Keegan would have been more shocked if Izzy hadn’t fallen apart at some point. What was surprising was that he didn’t try to hide them. When they eventually slowed and Keegan offered to get him water, Izzy just shook his head and gripped Keegan’s arms tighter around him. Keegan didn’t deny him.

Riley, who Keegan thought was sound asleep on the floor, stretched, then pushed herself up to sitting and laid her head on the couch, her blue-eyed gaze focused on Izzy, her nostrils flaring as she scented the air.

Izzy loosened his grip on Keegan so he could stroke her head. He was quiet for a long time before saying, “There’s something wrong with me.”

Keegan didn’t startle at the statement, but it was a near thing. Izzy had made that joke about Keegan earlier, but this was different. Izzy wasn’t joking. “Why do you think that?” he asked, instead of voicing all the normal platitudes. If Izzy was going to open up, Keegan didn’t want to screw up and say something that might stop him.

Izzy was silent long enough that Keegan worried he’d screwed up anyway. Finally, he said, so low Keegan had to strain to hear, “I fell in love with a predator.”

Fuck. Keegan swallowed hard. What was the right response to that? Luckily, he didn’t have to come up with one.

“I thought he was so cool. He knew everything about horses and training, but he didn’t treat me like a dumb kid. He listened, and he respected my opinion. He saw something special in me, and he wanted me to be the best.”

He was talking about his former trainer. Josh something. Martin. That was it. Keegan’s stomach twisted. “Baby, did he—” But Izzy was already shaking his head.

“He wasn’t into kids.” He let out a hollow laugh. “I actually respected him for that. Plenty of guys tried to get with me before I turned eighteen, but Josh never did. He chased them off and told me to concentrate on my goals. There would be time for dating later.”

If Keegan remembered right, Izzy had gone to train with the former Olympian when he was in high school, moving his horse to New England for it. The arrangement was mutually beneficial for Josh Martin and Izzy’s father, who bred horses for high-level competition. His son got training from one of the best in the world, and Martin got access to the cream of the crop of Frank King’s Irish Sport Horses.

“I didn’t mind,” Izzy continued. “I wasn’t interested in anyone else. And I was too busy anyway. Josh and Birdie took up all of my time.”

Blackbird. The mare had been one of Keegan’s first foals back when he was still interning for Dr. Haller. She was a beautiful creature. Izzy had sold her after his accident. Now Keegan was wondering how much more there was to the story.

“Things didn’t change until I was older. I was almost twenty when I finally wore him down. We won the Eventing European Championship. I was old enough to drink there, so we were celebrating. He let me suck him off. As a reward . I’d never done anything like that before, but I loved it.” Izzy’s laugh was painful. “He didn’t say anything after, but he started treating me differently. Longer touches, more hugging. More blow jobs. I should have clued in sooner. But I believed what I wanted to believe.”

Keegan squeezed him tighter, dreading what was next, but needing to hear it as much as he suspected Izzy needed to get it out.

“We—Josh’s top students—were getting geared up for the Olympic qualifying competitions. Josh was the favorite for Chef d’Equipe—” Keegan made a questioning sound, and Izzy paused to explain. “Olympic team manager, basically. They choose the team members, train them, develop competition strategy, manage logistics, work with the media… They do it all. They’re the reason a team wins or loses.” His next breath shook. “Josh was a shoo-in. He’d been to four Olympics and brought home three golds. He was ranked in the top ten worldwide, and the horses he trained won numerous international competitions.” Izzy recited Josh’s accomplishments like he’d had to explain them before.

“Your horse included,” Keegan stated more than asked.

Izzy nodded. “He called Blackbird and me his masterpieces.” Izzy’s voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat before he could continue. “I was so fucking naive.” He lifted a hand to dash at his eyes.

Keegan’s control was hanging by a thread. The only thing stopping him from losing it was the fact that Izzy needed him to hold it together. Also, the asshole was long dead, and as much as he wished it, Keegan couldn’t kill him all over again. “You were young,” Keegan told him carefully, knowing he didn’t have the full story yet, but needing to somehow reassure Izzy that he wasn’t at fault for what the bastard did.

“Not as young as Emma,” Izzy bit out wetly. “Or Sammy. When he got them drunk, then told them to keep their mouths shut if they ever wanted a chance at the Olympic team.”

Keegan’s breath hissed out of him. That sick bastard. “That’s why you called him a predator,” Keegan said, trying and failing to keep the rage from his voice.

Izzy jerked his head in a nod. “And I fell for it. Fell for him.”

Keegan wanted to force Izzy to look at him, to reassure him that he couldn’t have known, but he had a feeling Izzy was only still talking because he didn’t have to see Keegan’s reactions. “Then what happened? I know the fucker offed himself—which is the only reason I’m not halfway to a murder charge right now.”

That made Izzy laugh, the sound bordering on hysterical, before he cut himself off. “Emma happened.” He pressed back into Keegan and squeezed his arms tighter until Keegan worried he wouldn’t be able to breathe. “Josh had been getting away with it for who knows how long, but Emma was so fucking brave.” Izzy sniffled, and it took him a few tries to get the next words out. “She came to me first,” he said like it was an admission. “I— I didn’t believe her. Josh had warned me that she was jealous of what we had. I was so stupid…”

“He manipulated you,” Keegan corrected, tone hard and unyielding. “That wasn’t your fault.”

Izzy kept going without acknowledging Keegan’s statement. “She told Stew next. Stewart, our assistant trainer. He believed her. He always thought something was off about Josh. The two of them warned me Emma was going to the IOC. That’s when Sammy told me he’d done it to her too.” Izzy was crying openly now, his breath choppy and his voice getting more difficult to understand, though he kept pushing. “I confronted him.”

“Baby, it’s okay. You can tell me the rest later,” Keegan soothed, worried that Izzy was going to push himself straight into another panic attack.

“No. I need to do this now,” Izzy insisted. “I confronted him, and he fucking laughed in my face. He told me that was how the game was played. That I’d made it easy by throwing myself at him. Emma and Sammy felt safe because they didn’t think a guy who already had a boyfriend would hurt them.” Izzy barely got the next sentence out. “It was all a lie, though. He never even fucked me. He didn’t care about me one way or the other. I was just convenient.”

Keegan was going to find out where Josh Martin was buried and piss on his grave.

They both jumped when Riley barked, the sound short and sharp. She was standing now, her eyes still focused on Izzy. Her nostrils flared, and she lifted a paw and tapped Izzy’s arm, then stayed hovering for a moment before doing it again.

Shit. Keegan guessed his suspicions about her service dog training were correct. That was a clear alert.

“Hey,” Izzy murmured to her, despite her inability to hear him. “What’s wrong?” His hand was trembling as much as his voice when he lifted it to stroke her shoulder.

“She’s worried about you,” Keegan told him.

Izzy’s laugh was wet and shaky. “I’m fine. It’s not like this shit is anything new.”

Keegan moved the hand on Izzy’s chest in slow circles. “Can you do us both a favor and take some deep breaths anyway?” While Izzy did, Keegan gave Riley the sign for “good girl” several times. He wished he had treats in reach, but he didn’t want to leave Izzy to retrieve them.

Riley’s tail wagged with excitement, and she swiped her tongue across Izzy’s face, making him sputter, then laugh again, the sound stronger this time. “Ew,” he said, hugging Riley as close as he could.

Keegan could hear the other dogs out on the front porch before one of them, probably Chance, scratched at the door. Keegan gave Izzy another squeeze. “I need to let them in, but I’ll come right back, okay?”

Izzy waved him off, and as soon as Keegan managed to untangle himself and climb off the couch, Riley scrambled up in his place, flattening herself on top of Izzy.

Keegan chuckled. “Or maybe I’ll make dinner.”

Izzy wrapped his arms around Riley and pressed his face to her fur.

Keegan paused, ignoring the dogs at the door for the moment, and ran careful fingers through Izzy’s hair. “It wasn’t your fault, Isaac. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Izzy’s arms tightened on Riley, but otherwise, he didn’t acknowledge Keegan’s statement. That was okay. Keegan would tell him as many times as he needed to until Izzy believed it.

Keegan knew he was still missing parts of the story, because nothing Izzy had told him explained the sudden increase in panic attacks—and he was sure it was an increase and not just the fact that he was spending more time with Izzy. Micah and Ryan would never have let this go on if this level of anxiety was Izzy’s normal. It also didn’t explain the cell messages that sent Izzy spiraling. Keegan wished he’d attempted to read the text from Izzy’s father that had set Izzy off, but Izzy’s reaction had made the choice for him. Keegan wasn’t going to betray his trust, even if it was for his own good. He had time, and he could wait until Izzy was able to tell him.

The rest of the night was dinner in front of the woodstove, the boys curled up in their dog beds, and Riley still plastered to Izzy’s side. Keegan was a little amazed that she didn’t so much as glance at his plate, only inches from her muzzle. He also didn’t say anything when he caught Izzy feeding her scraps of chicken. She deserved all the treats tonight. It was pretty safe to say that his dog was now Izzy’s dog, at least for the time being.

After dinner, they climbed up to the loft. The steep stairs with their open risers were closer to a ladder than anything, and he kept the dogs downstairs with a gate at the base. After Izzy went up, Keegan got the dogs settled and banked the woodstove, adjusting the air vents to keep it burning all night. Riley got a few extra treats and pats before Keegan showed her a new sign, one for off duty. He’d keep an eye on their boy for the rest of the night.

He turned off the downstairs light and visited the bathroom one last time before climbing up the stairs. Izzy was sitting cross-legged at the end of the bed, dressed only in sleep pants, his phone in his hand. Keegan was about to ask if he wanted to plug it in when he noticed the items lined up on his dresser. He froze. “What the fuck, Isaac?”

Izzy cackled, and when Keegan turned his incredulous look on him, he realized the brat was taking pictures or maybe filming him.

Keegan turned back to the items on the dresser, examining them more closely. When Izzy said he brought toys, plural, he wasn’t exaggerating. “Was there anything in your duffel bag other than dildos and lube?” Keegan asked, voice tight, his body undecided on whether to send his blood to his cheeks or his cock. He wasn’t entirely sure what a few of the items were. The dick-shaped ones were obvious, of course, but— He picked up a hard, plastic object the size of his palm with several small balls on it. It kind of looked like a—

“Remote-controlled prostate massager,” Izzy said, tone gleeful.

Huh. Well, that sounded fun. He had some ideas for that already. Keegan turned to the next item, which Izzy supplied was a “monster stroker.” The opening of the green-and-purple tube was surrounded by terrifying rubbery teeth. Evidently, you were supposed to imagine you were fucking an alien sandworm. Then Keegan noticed something that made his breath catch and Izzy crack up again. He wrapped his hand around the narrowest part and lifted the hefty silicone replica of a freaking arm with a cone-shaped hand at the end of it.

When he turned back to the bed, Izzy was laughing so hard that he’d fallen over and dropped his phone. He had tears streaming down his cheeks, and he was clutching his belly. Keegan couldn’t fight his answering smile, and he didn’t want to try. It felt freaking good to hear Izzy laugh.

Keegan returned the arm-dildo to the dresser and crossed the small space. He crawled up and rolled Izzy onto his back on the low mattress, straddling his hips. Izzy grinned at him.

“Your face,” he told Keegan. “That was priceless.”

Keegan shook his head and dropped down to his elbows, their noses inches apart. Izzy went quiet, his chest rising and falling faster than usual from laughing. Keegan nuzzled their noses together in a bunny kiss, then dipped farther and caught Izzy’s lips with his.

Izzy moaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Keegan, trying to draw him closer.

Keegan had intended to keep things slow and gentle, but Izzy had other plans. He squirmed under Keegan, fighting his way out of his sleep pants, then starting on Keegan’s clothes, getting him naked with an efficiency that shouldn’t be surprising. This was Izzy after all, and in the grand scheme of things, despite Keegan being over a decade older, Izzy was probably the one of them with the most experience. Not that Keegan was without a few tricks of his own.

Once they were both naked, Keegan caught Izzy’s wrists and lifted them toward the top of the bed, pressing them into the sheets. “Keep them there,” he told Izzy, getting a pout and a needy whine in reply. “If you do, I’ll make it worth your while.”

Izzy’s pout melted into intrigue. He bit his lip while he thought, then asked, “How?”

Got him. Keegan smirked. “I’m not going to tell you.”

Izzy’s nostrils flared. He glanced at the dresser where Keegan had seen a set of leather cuffs.

Keegan chuckled. “No outside assistance. That’s cheating.”

Izzy narrowed his eyes in determination. “Fine. But this better be good,” he grumbled, clearly out of his depth.

“Oh, it will.” Keegan leaned down and pressed a kiss to the center of Izzy’s smooth chest, right on the defined line between his pecs. “Do you wax here too?”

Izzy nodded. “Figured I was already at the waxing place, I might as well.” He squirmed while Keegan trailed kisses to his nipple, then moaned when Keegan caught the bud between his teeth and gave it a gentle tug, followed by a slow suck.

Izzy’s cock was rock hard and sticking up between their bodies, the wet tip smearing in the coarse reddish-blond hair of Keegan’s happy trail. Izzy rocked his hips, obviously liking the sensation. “Come onnn. Pleeease,” he whined when Keegan released his nipple and made his way to the other. Keegan hid a grin. It was going to be a long night for his brat if he was already begging. Because Keegan had no intention of being rushed. He was going to taste every inch of Izzy’s body before he gave in to what they both wanted.

Izzy only forgot his hands once while Keegan explored and teased him to the brink, and a stern look had him putting them back with a murmured “Sorry, Henry,” that almost made Keegan abandon his plans. He didn’t know why, maybe it was Izzy’s tone, but hearing his given name on Izzy’s lips set off all of his possessive instincts.

As a reward, he sucked Izzy’s balls into his mouth, one, then the other, until Izzy was writhing and nearly sobbing with pleasure. Then Keegan pressed Izzy’s knees toward his chest and ate him out until he was sobbing, tears streaking his cheeks, his cock red and bobbing in the air. Keegan checked Izzy’s hands and found them white-knuckled and twisted in the sheets. “Good boy,” he said, earning a full-body shudder as precome beaded on the tip of Izzy’s cock and dripped to his belly.

With Izzy’s hole thoroughly wet and loose, Keegan didn’t bother to get the lube. He pressed in with two fingers at the same time that he swallowed Izzy’s cock to the root.

Izzy let out a shout that made one of the dogs bark in response, causing Keegan to laugh and nearly choke before he got himself together again. Izzy was begging, broken-off words tripping over each other as Keegan massaged his prostate and sucked him, slow and steady, controlling the pace to build the pleasure for as long as possible. When he decided Izzy had earned it, he lifted his head enough to say, “Hold on to me,” then doubled down.

Izzy made a relieved sound as he sank his hands into Keegan’s hair and hung on for dear life. Keegan worked him over, alternating between slow sucks and thrusts of his fingers until Izzy spilled. He shook, his chest heaving, his hands tugging Keegan’s hair rhythmically as he babbled thank yous interspersed with hitched moans. When he fell to the sheets, limp and sweaty, Keegan crawled up and gripped himself, fucking into his own hand until he shuddered and came across Izzy’s perfect skin while murmuring praise into Izzy’s throat.

They’d made enough of a mess the night before that Keegan had to change the sheets after cleaning them both up. He was glad he had a spare set, but they’d need a new plan if they were going to be up here for a week. Maybe towels. Keegan pictured Izzy’s writhing body, the toys on the dresser, and all the things he wanted to do to his brat. They might not have enough towels either. Maybe there was an old canvas tarp in the storage closet?

Izzy was still out cold, his head on Keegan’s shoulder, an arm and a leg draped over him, despite it being several hours past the time he was usually up for work. Keegan wasn’t surprised; it had been a long and emotionally draining day yesterday. And while the sex had been satisfying and just what they both needed, it had worn Izzy out to the point that Keegan had been cleaning up his mostly unconscious body by the end.

Keegan debated sneaking out from under him and heading down to start breakfast. The dogs were being patient, but he could hear them beginning to move around, and they’d need to go out soon. If Keegan didn’t open the door, Chance, the escape artist, would. The issue being that he never had learned to close it behind him and it was in the negative digits out there.

Eventually, he pressed a kiss to Izzy’s bare shoulder and eased out from under him, replacing his body with a pillow that Izzy hugged to his chest. He stroked a final caress over Izzy’s defined cheekbone, then pulled on a hoodie and thick socks before climbing down the stairs.

The dogs went out and did their business, while Keegan did his own in the downstairs bathroom. When he let them back in, Riley was the first to make her careful way up the steps in search of her new favorite person.

Keegan got the coffee going and started breakfast, wondering if he was going to end up feeding Izzy in bed this morning. He was still debating when Izzy appeared at the top of the stairs, dressed in a pair of sweats and one of Keegan’s hoodies. His hair was a mess, and he was still rubbing sleep from his eyes.

Keegan smiled at the picture he made. “Make sure you get some socks. It’s warming up, but the floor is still cold. And please help Riley on the stairs. She can go up, but getting back down is harder.”

Izzy nodded, disappeared for a moment, then came back and helped Riley half walk, half stumble down to the first floor.

When they made it to the kitchen, Keegan handed Izzy a cup of coffee and stole a kiss. “There are extra towels in the bathroom if you want to shower while I finish breakfast.”

Izzy hummed and kissed him again, then took his coffee with him to the bathroom. A moment later, Keegan heard the shower cut on.

Izzy returned when Keegan was plating their breakfast—eggs, thick-cut sausage, biscuits and gravy. He looked much more awake and made an appreciative sound when he sat down at the small table across from Keegan. “I thought you did the healthy breakfast thing,” he said as he dug in. Then he moaned. “This is amazing,” he mumbled around a bite.

Keegan had to agree with him. This was one of his favorite things about coming up to the cabin. “I indulge up here. And I can get away with it, thanks to all the work that needs to be done to keep the place in shape, plus the hiking.”

Izzy nodded. “Makes sense. Did you, um—” He hesitated, taking another bite of food and then a sip of coffee while Keegan waited. “Were you going hiking today? I can totally entertain myself while you do.”

For a minute, Keegan thought Izzy was trying to avoid a hike, then he realized what he was actually asking. “I was planning to, but I hoped you’d come with me. There are some beautiful views.”

Izzy was focused on his plate, but Keegan could still see the edges of his smile. “Sure,” he said with a shrug. “Why not?”

An hour later, they were out on one of Keegan’s favorite winter trails. At this elevation, they were still below the tree line and protected from the wind. There was about eight inches of snow on the ground, enough to turn everything into a perfect white wonderland, but not so much that they’d struggle to walk. The dogs bounded ahead, but Riley came back a few minutes later and attached herself to Izzy’s side. Izzy tried to convince her to go play with the others, but she wasn’t buying it.

“She usually sticks close,” Keegan told him. “I think she feels more secure when she can see us.”

“That, or she doesn’t trust you not to get lost up here,” Izzy teased, flashing Keegan a smile that made him wish for a camera. Izzy’s cheeks and nose were rosy from the cold and framed by his blond curls, poking out from beneath his dark, knit hat. He was bundled up in Keegan’s spare winter gear, which fit him well enough, despite the few inches of height difference between them. Keegan liked the look of Izzy in his clothes, even if it was just a winter coat, neck gaiter, and thermal gloves. It set off that same warm, possessive thing in his chest that he’d felt the night before.

They hiked out for around forty minutes before they reached the first break in the tree line. Izzy made a sound of surprise as he stepped out onto the large, flat boulder that made up the overlook. He held up a hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he looked out over the layers and layers of blue-tinged mountains. The wind was stronger here, whipping the ends of his hair around his face.

Keegan looked on in confusion as Izzy used his teeth to pull off his glove, then dug around in the pocket of his coat.

He grinned around the glove when he caught Keegan watching. “Ha!” he said in triumph as he pulled out his phone. “I might not have any signal, but I don’t need one for the camera.” He took a few photos of the view, then crouched down to get some of Riley. Eventually, he motioned Keegan over and had him pose for a selfie. At the last moment, he turned and kissed Keegan’s cheek, startling him, but not stopping him from pulling Izzy in for a real kiss as soon as the photo shoot was over.

The kiss tapered off, their breaths fogging in the air between them as they watched each other for a beat. Then with a wink and a grin, Izzy turned and went after Riley, who was waiting at the start to the rest of the trail. Keegan followed, bemused by this new side to his normally surly brat. If this was Izzy when he was happy, Keegan was in even more trouble than he’d realized. He would do a hell of a lot to keep that smile on Izzy’s face.