11. Ten - Keegan

“Whatever.”

Keegan sighed. And things had been going so well. It was his own damn fault too. The last week or so had given him a false sense of security. Now, he had the sinking feeling that they were back to square one, all because of one thoughtless comment. He dragged a hand through his hair. He wished he had time for this, but he had appointments to get to—one of them with his least favorite client. “Isaac—”

“Don’t ‘Isaac’ me, Henry ,” Izzy snapped back. “You don’t get to do that.” He tossed the brush he’d been using on Violet back into the grooming bucket with a clatter.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Keegan tried, but Izzy just laughed, the sound sharp and bitter.

“You basically called me a slut. How could you possibly mean it that would be better?”

“That’s not what I—”

“You got off twice this morning,” Isaac mocked in an impression of Keegan that was disturbingly good and spoke to more practice than Keegan wanted to think about. “I’ve met rabbits that want less sex than you.”

There were a half dozen things Keegan could say in his defense, but none of them would make Izzy feel better. “I’m sorry,” he said, hoping it came across as heartfelt as he intended it. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

Izzy scoffed and kept his back to Keegan as he grabbed a broom and started aggressively sweeping the aisle.

Wonderful. Keegan was at a loss. The morning had started well. They’d spent the night together, then Keegan had dropped Izzy off at the ranch before heading to an early appointment. When he came back two hours later to help with the rescues—which, if he was honest, wasn’t necessary and hadn’t been for a while—Izzy had been in a mood.

Keegan should have been better prepared. He’d figured out that sex was Izzy’s number one go-to when things became too much. He joked that it was his favorite distraction, but Keegan knew he wasn’t joking. He used it as a coping strategy—the off-color humor was a defense mechanism. His backup plan was acting like a complete and utter asshole until the problem went away.

Keegan had turned down the first, so now he was suffering the consequences of the second. It served him right. Keegan was definitely the bigger asshole this time.

“I don’t think that about you,” he told Izzy. “I shouldn’t have implied it.”

“I am, though,” Izzy said breezily, even as his shoulders curled inward. “Everyone knows my only requirements are a hard cock and some interest.”

Keegan sighed. Yes, Izzy obviously enjoyed sex, but he wasn’t as nonchalant about it as he pretended to be. “Screw it.” Keegan took the broom from Izzy and set it aside. Ignoring Izzy’s outraged protest, he gripped his elbow and propelled him toward the loft.

When Izzy balked at the base of the stairs, Keegan landed a sharp swat to his ass.

“Get going, brat,” he said. “Before my offer expires.”

Izzy hissed through his teeth but did as he was told. “God, you’re such an ass,” he muttered. “I changed my mind. I’d rather sit in a snowbank.”

“Too late,” Keegan told him. “You want this, you’re going to deal with the consequences.”

Izzy was starting to look nervous by the time Keegan got them into the loft and out of their winter gear. Then, Izzy turned downright shocked when Keegan pushed him up against the door and dropped to his knees in front of him. “What are you—ohmygod,” he rushed out as Keegan opened Izzy’s pants and dragged them and his boxers down his thighs.

Izzy wasn’t full hard, but Keegan didn’t care. The best part of blow jobs was seeing and feeling his partner react, and Izzy was giving him that in spades.

He was wide-eyed, his breathing rapid, his fingertips turning white where they were pressed to the door like he wasn’t sure if it was holding him up or keeping him from escape. “Keegan, you don’t have to—”

“Oh, I’m going to,” he replied, leaning in and dragging the flat of his tongue along Izzy’s length and getting a gasp followed by a choked-off whimper for his efforts. “If I have to deal with your father bitching at me for getting to his farm late, it’s gonna be with your flavor on my tongue.”

“ What ?” Izzy squeaked.

Keegan didn’t answer him, too busy enjoying the way Izzy’s cock was responding to his attention, twitching and growing thicker. When it was fully hard, Keegan drew it into his mouth.

Izzy let out a shout, and his hands flew to grip Keegan’s head as his knees wobbled. “Oh god. Oh fuck.”

Keegan wasn’t sure why they hadn’t done this before, but based on Izzy’s reactions, it wouldn’t be the last time. Izzy shook and whined, alternating between clutching Keegan’s hair and trying to muffle his sounds with his hands. Keegan had been aiming for something quick and dirty so he wouldn’t fall too far behind schedule, but he ended up drawing it out, enjoying Izzy’s pleasure too much to let him go over the edge before Keegan was ready.

Izzy babbled and begged for release. Finally, Keegan gave in, and Izzy curled over him with a shout, clutching his head as he shook apart.

Keegan swallowed him down, then released him gently and climbed back to his feet. Next time, they weren’t doing this on hardwood. He was going to tell Izzy so, when he noticed the shocky look on his face and the way he was still trembling. He fixed Izzy’s pants, then maneuvered him to the nearest chair, feeling quite pleased with himself. “I really do need to get to my next appointment,” Keegan said regretfully. “You know how your dad is. But I promise to finish making it up to you tonight.”

“Making what up to me?” Izzy asked, blinking a few times like he was coming out of a daze.

Keegan wanted to smile but refrained. He was started to suspect that Izzy hadn’t been on the receiving end of too many blow jobs, and he was torn between concern for how that could be possible and the smugness of knowing he’d blown Izzy’s mind. “If you can’t remember, I’m not sure I want to remind you.”

It was Sunday again, and they’d just finished up with the rescues and were headed up to the house for dinner with good news. Violet was fully healed, and the pony, whom they both called “Devil Pony” more than her name, was nearly there. A few more days and she would be good to go. Izzy was eager to turn the three out in one of the fields just as soon as Keegan cleared them. So far, they’d been restricted to walks around the barn, though, in Devil Pony’s case, they resembled more of a battle-to-the-death than a walk.

Keegan’s limbs were loose, and he was still buzzing from a quick visit to Izzy’s loft, ostensibly to clean up for dinner. In reality, he’d fucked Izzy bent over the bathroom counter. He’d suggested “showering” together, but Izzy said it was a limit because of his leg. Keegan wasn’t complaining.

This time, it was Keegan who changed up the seating, taking Archer’s normal seat next to Izzy, which had the added benefit of putting him closer to Ryan. He didn’t see enough of his best friend these days.

Izzy didn’t say anything when he reached the table, which was a win in and of itself. Keegan also thought his cheeks might have gone a little pink, and he detected a hint of a smile.

Ryan and Nick behaved themselves, and Keegan only had to shoot Micah a warning look before he mimed zipping his lips and turned the topic to their New York trip later in the week.

“It’s gonna be amazing,” Micah told Archer and Izzy. “Wait until you get a load of the view from Xavier’s balcony. It’s obviously too cold to hang out there, but,” he whistled, “you can see all the way to the Empire State Building.”

“I can always turn on the heat lamps and open up the hot tub if you’d like,” Xavier offered from the other side of Nick. “Finn and Ev spent half of our last trip out there. I bought a few more lamps since I was afraid this sweet boy,” he pressed a kiss to Finn’s temple, “might turn into a popsicle.” He lowered his voice, but Keegan still heard him murmur “a delicious popsicle” in Finn’s ear before doing something against Finn’s neck that had him flushing pink and hiding his face. Keegan thought he might have heard a hissed “Daddy!”

Xavier wrapped an arm around his shoulders, looking pleased with himself.

“Archer, I hear you have a new client,” Maggie said from the far end of the table as she deftly changed the subject.

“Potential client,” Archer corrected. He paused to finish chewing. “Someone saw the piece Xavier has up and wants to talk to me about a commission.”

“No need to sell yourself short,” Xavier told him. “It’s a done deal. Morgan was obsessed. He keeps messaging, wanting to know when he can meet you.”

Archer shrugged, gave a crooked smile and admitted, “If it’s all the same to you, I’m gonna keep being nervous. I’ll believe it when the check clears.”

“First of all,” Xavier said, “for the amount Morgan can afford to pay, it will be an e-transfer. And second…” Xavier placed his elbows on the table and steepled his fingers. “We need to work on your confidence. You’re extremely talented, Archer. I have friends asking when your next gallery show is and if I can get them in in advance.”

Archer blinked at Xavier, looking stunned. “Gallery show?”

“Get ready, Archer,” Nick said, laughing. “You’re about to find out why Xavier is the best in the business.”

Finn hugged Xavier’s arm and gazed up at him with his heart in his eyes, while Xavier smiled and took a sip of his wine.

Keegan couldn’t imagine living that life and didn’t particularly want to try. While Ryan, his men, Archer, and Izzy were in New York living it up, he would be spending a week at his cabin. It was something he did every winter. He’d arranged for Josie, the other nearby vet, to cover for him. He’d done the same for her when she went to visit her family for the holidays. They had another swap planned for the summer.

As he listened to Micah and Izzy discuss all the things they wanted to get up to in the city, the clubs they wanted to check out and the sights they wanted to see, he found himself dragged down a rabbit hole of overthinking. What would Izzy be like, turned loose on the New York City club scene? Men would be falling over themselves to talk to Keegan’s gorgeous brat. To do more with him. And Izzy had always proved to be willing.

The thought of random strangers’ hands on Izzy, their bodies pressed up against him, inside him, made Keegan’s stomach churn. And that, in turn, made him realize just how close he’d let himself get.

Keegan knew it wasn’t his place to make demands. They had never discussed what it was they were doing, much less exclusivity. And more than that, he knew Izzy would react badly if he brought it up now—hell, if he brought it up at all. But dammit if he didn’t want to pull Izzy aside and beg him not to let another man fuck him. To be with Keegan and only Keegan.

Izzy’s knee was bouncing under the table, and it drew Keegan’s attention back to the conversation. Micah was in the middle of explaining some kind of viral video. It took Keegan a few minutes, but he clued in that Ev, the boy they were going to visit, was the subject of the recording. Micah pulled out his phone to show Izzy and Archer the video, posted by Remy Dalton, of all people, of a redheaded young man and a beautiful blond woman performing at a black grand piano. It was taken on a cell phone, but, despite the low quality, their talent was clear. Others obviously agreed, based on the number of views that was nearing the millions.

Izzy was playing along with Micah’s excitement about hanging out with celebrities, but Keegan could feel the tension rolling off him.

Something was wrong. Keegan wished he knew what to do about it.

Keegan wasn’t great at feelings. More accurately, he wasn’t great at talking about feelings. His own or other people’s. Sure, he could dole out advice or point out when someone was missing the obvious—like when a certain ranch manager wasn’t getting the hint that his employee was in love with him. But putting a name to the swirling mix of stuff that flared in his chest as he watched Izzy speak quietly to Klaus, their foreheads pressed together, was beyond him.

Keegan knew one thing. He couldn’t let Izzy leave for New York on Thursday without saying… something . Except, he’d spent the last two days obsessing over it and he still didn’t have a goddamn clue what .

Izzy stepped out of Klaus’s stall and caught Keegan staring. “What?”

Keegan opened his mouth, then paused. What was his plan here? The only thing he knew for sure was that asking Izzy to stop sleeping with other men would end in a fight. And he didn’t know what Izzy would take more offense to—the implication that he was sleeping around too much, or that Keegan had any right to make the request in the first place. Probably both.

Izzy shifted under Keegan’s scrutiny and looked away. “Are you pissed about this morning? I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

Keegan was taken aback. “Why do you think I’m upset?”

Izzy waved a hand at him. “You’re making a face.”

Keegan shut his eyes and covered said face with his hand, a huff of amusement leaving him even as his skin went warm.

“Uh…” Izzy said, sounding out of his depth. “You’re…blushing.”

Keegan just shook his head. How the hell was he supposed to tell Izzy that he’d been staring because he couldn’t look away? He lowered his hand and opened his mouth.

“Keegan, can I borrow you?”

Keegan shot Ryan a look that spoke volumes about his timing, but his best friend was unreadable. After checking with Izzy, who rolled his eyes in response, Keegan followed Ryan to his office, shutting the door to keep the heat in.

Ryan dropped into his chair behind the scarred wooden desk that had been an antique since long before Keegan’s time. “Coffee?”

Keegan never turned down coffee—and especially not since Nick had moved in and taken over the making of it. Ryan filled two mugs from the thermos on the corner of the desk. He kept the one that read “Don’t make me use my horse trainer voice”—a decade-old gift from Micah—and slid the other to Keegan.

Keegan turned it and snorted.

Printed under a large rooster were the words “Horses are cool, but have you ever ridden a cock?”

Ryan grinned. “I’m sure you can guess who Micah bought that one for.”

Keegan didn’t need to guess, and his best friend knew it. He sprawled back in the other chair, the worn leather familiar and comforting. He’d spent a lot of time in this office over the years, both for work-related reasons and not. He had a feeling which one this was. “Tell me this isn’t a shovel speech.”

Ryan gave a bark of laughter. “Izzy would kill me. He bristles when anyone gets protective. I’m still surprised Hunter gets away with it, but I think it’s because Izzy doesn’t want to risk Hunter banning him from the bar.”

“Meanwhile, I almost got my head bitten off for daring to ask how he was feeling this morning.” Keegan took a careful sip of coffee, letting the warmth spread through him, then dropped his head against the seat back. “It’s not like I wanted his deepest secrets. He had a headache last night. I was gonna offer him some painkillers.”

“Pretty sure you knew what you were signing up for, buddy,” Ryan said, a gentle tease in his voice.

Keegan chuckled. “Yes and no.” The window next to the desk had a view of the snow-covered riding ring and, beyond it, the fields that led to the base of the mountain. His cabin was up there, just below the ridgeline, though it wasn’t visible. “I thought I did, but he hides a lot. I’m pretty sure he never said one real thing to me after—” Keegan hesitated, the pause awkward between them. He’d never had something relationship-related he didn’t mind telling Ryan about, but he needed to remember that Ryan wasn’t just his best friend. He was also Izzy’s boss, his friend, and, when it came down to it, his landlord. Keegan didn’t want to accidentally betray a confidence. “But he’s been opening up a little more. And I think I’m learning to read between the lines,” Keegan finished.

“Did he happen to tell you why he backed out of the New York trip?”

Keegan stopped with the coffee mug halfway to his mouth. He was ashamed to admit that his immediate reaction was relief. He wouldn’t have to figure out how to ask Izzy for—he hadn’t even decided what. Exclusivity? To be his…boyfriend? Yeah, right. Izzy would laugh in his face. “When did that happen?” he asked.

“He texted Micah yesterday.”

Yesterday, Izzy had been off but claimed it was because of his headache. Now Keegan had to wonder if that was true. “He didn’t mention it.”

“So, he’s not going to the cabin with you?”

Keegan shook his head, a rock settling in his stomach. “He isn’t.”

“Damn.” Ryan sighed and turned his gaze to the window. “To be honest, we were hoping that was why he was cagey about canceling. The two of you haven’t exactly been open about—” Ryan waved a hand between Keegan and the general direction of where they’d left Izzy in the barn.

That was because Keegan still had no idea what they were doing. Maybe it was time he sucked it up and actually talked to his…whatever they were.

“Fuck you.”

At least Izzy was consistent.

Keegan raked a hand through his hair and didn’t give in to the desire to rip it out at the roots. This conversation was going swimmingly . “Pretty sure we’ve determined that you aren’t the one doing this fucking in this relationship,” he shot back.

“Whatever,” Izzy grumbled as his cheeks flushed. It was his go-to insult when he didn’t have an argument. “I’m not talking about this with you.”

Keegan was surprised Izzy let the relationship comment slide. And as dismissive as Izzy’s words were, the fact that he hadn’t walked away yet gave Keegan hope. “Why not?”

Izzy froze. “What?”

“Why not with me? What’s stopping you?” He moved closer, making Izzy retreat until his back hit the stall wall, then caged him in with hands braced on either side of him. “I’m not going to judge you, Izzy. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

He expected a hundred different brush-offs and excuses, not for Izzy to look away and say, “It’s complicated.”

Keegan caught Izzy’s chin between his thumb and forefinger and turned his face back. “I don’t mind complicated.”

Izzy let out a breath that ended on a rough chuckle, and his eyes dropped to Keegan’s mouth. “Yeah,” he murmured. “’Cause there’s something wrong with you.”

“Brat,” Keegan murmured back, then gave him what he wanted, catching his lips in a slow, searching kiss.

Izzy’s mouth was warm, sweet, and oh-so soft. Keegan needed more. He deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue inside to chase Izzy’s intoxicating flavor.

Izzy melted, clutching the lapels of Keegan’s coat for balance as he opened his mouth to let him in deeper.

Keegan did his best to pour all of his mixed-up emotions into the kiss, needing Izzy to understand all the things Keegan was still trying to figure out how to say.