1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

Penn

Present Day

“To Astrid!” My older brother, Dallas, raises his glass and the rest of the crew follows his lead, echoing his sentiment as they do.

“Thank you, Dallas.” The apples of Astrid’s cheeks turn pink, but I know it’s because all the attention is on her. She’s not a fan of that, but I also know that in this moment, she fucking deserves it.

“Seriously,” he continues, “I’m pissed I’m losing my top waitress, but I’m also so damn happy for you.” He pulls his girlfriend, Willow, to his side as she nods her head in agreement. If it weren’t for Willow, we wouldn’t even be celebrating Astrid tonight. Her arrival in Carrington Cove has done more than just improve my brother’s mood over the past two months.

Catch & Release, my brother’s restaurant and bar, is packed with employees and friends, closed to the public for Astrid’s going away party. As of last week, she is now the proud new owner of the Sunshine Bakery, a Carrington Cove icon. Greg and Jenny, the former owners, opened the doors to the bakery over forty years ago and have made a name for themselves with the townsfolk and tourists. Astrid started working part-time for them about four years ago, just after her husband—and one of my best friends—Brandon died.

That’s the thing about living in a small town: everyone knows everyone, and we all show up for each other.

Dallas continues his speech. “Everyone here has been lucky enough to sample your talent each time you brought in your latest creation for us to try. Those days when there were cupcakes in the breakroom, you would have thought there were the winning lotto numbers scratched onto a paper for someone to find.” The room fills with laughter and several heads nod. “And now, the entire town of Carrington Cove will be blessed to partake in your treats and talent any time they want. We will miss your smile and energy around here, but now is your time to shine.”

Astrid’s eyes fill with tears as she mouths, “Thank you.”

“To prosperity and good fortune! May your business flourish and the headaches of business ownership be mild!” Dallas calls out once more as the entire bar erupts in cheers and everyone takes a drink of their beverage in hand.

“I told you he was going to make you cry,” Willow says as she walks up to Astrid and pulls her in for a hug.

“I swear, I feel like I’ve cried more in the past week than I have in years.” Astrid wipes away a tear from under her eye. “But seriously, Willow. None of this would be happening without your generosity.”

“That’s not true. You’d make it happen.”

“Not likely—unless I had won the lottery.”

Willow Marshall is a self-made millionaire and my brother’s new girlfriend. A little over two months ago, she unexpectedly inherited a century-old beach house on the coast that had been vacant for years, and she recruited me to do the renovations on it in order to sell it. Well, things got complicated when my brother tried to convince her to sell it to him since he’s wanted to buy the place since we were teenagers.

In a twist that further complicated their dynamic, it turned out that the house was actually left to Willow by our father in an attempt to make amends for the past. After a brief battle of wills, Willow and Dallas’s intense feelings toward one another blossomed into love and now she’s here to stay, which worked out well for Astrid since their friendship also blossomed, and Willow volunteered to be the bakery’s silent investor. Brandon’s death benefit paid off their house, but on her income and less than stellar credit, she didn’t qualify for the business loan on her own.

“Doesn’t matter. Now, you have the ability to make it exactly what you want. Have you thought any more about what changes you want to make?” Willow asks, taking a sip from her martini.

Astrid’s eyes drift over to me for the first time in a while. And just like every other time our eyes meet, I wait with bated breath for what she’s going to say. “Actually, I have some ideas. And I wanted to talk to you about them.” She points at me playfully with one eye closed.

“Me?”

The corner of her mouth lifts. “Yeah. Word on the street is you’re still the resident handyman around town. Or did that change in the last day or so?”

That’s right. I’m the guy everyone calls when something needs to be fixed or built.

Penn Sheppard, the Carrington Cove handyman.

The guy who helps everyone when they need it.

I guess I took after my father in that regard. And my specialty is helping Astrid, especially since Brandon died.

“Not that I’m aware of,” I reply, watching Astrid’s shoulders fall but her lips lift up .

Willow grasps her arm. “I’m going to let you two talk. I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”

“Okay.” Astrid watches Willow walk away and then she turns back to me. “Do you want a refill?” She gestures to the nearly empty glass of beer in my hand.

“Yeah, but I can get it. Remember, you’re not a waitress anymore.”

She chuckles, tucking a strand on her long, chestnut hair behind her ear. It’s such a simple move, but it still unnerves me every time. “Old habits die hard.”

“You’ll get used to it.” I stand from my stool, round the bar, pull the tap on the lager I’ve been drinking, and fill my glass before rejoining her on the other side of the bar again. “So, what’s on your mind?”

She blows out a breath and says, “I want to do some renovations at the bakery.”

I nod, taking a big drink of my beer. “I figured.”

“I know the place is a landmark, but it’s in desperate need of a face lift. New paint, new floors, new décor, and a new display case in the front, for starters.”

“You might have to shut the doors for a few days to get that done, but if I do stuff at night we could possibly avoid it.”

She nods. “I’m aware, but I know it will be worth it. I can still fill orders for the Cove Inn and other offices around town from the kitchen, but I want a clean slate. I want a fresh start so the place feels more like mine.”

“It is yours, Astrid.”

Her smile is slow and soft but completely breathtaking. And with a crinkle in her nose, she whispers, “It is, isn’t it?”

I can’t help but smile back at her. “It is.”

“What are you two grinning about?” Dallas strides up to us, taking a sip from his own beer .

“Penn is gonna help me renovate the bakery,” Astrid answers, glancing up at him now.

“Like there’s anyone better for the job.” Dallas huffs out a laugh.

“I know, but it’s going to be a lot of work.”

Dallas leans toward Astrid. “You do realize he just renovated an entire house for Willow, right?”

“Yes, I’m aware. But I also know he’s busy…”

“I’m never too busy to help you, Astrid,” I say, cutting her off.

“I just hate to ask you for another favor…”

“It’s not a favor. I want to help,” I declare adamantly. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

She reaches over and grabs my hand, squeezing it. “Yeah, I do. I can always depend on you, Penn. You’re such a good friend and I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”

Do you see that knife she just plunged into my chest? Yeah, doesn’t feel so good.

“You’re such a good friend.”

That’s me.

Mr. Dependable.

The king of the friend zone—a place I never wanted to be but reluctantly found myself the president of after one drunken night three years ago. I was just a friend before that night. But before then, that word didn’t hold the same type of meaning.

It’s just as well though. The last thing I need is to draw attention to myself by pursuing the widow of my best friend, an issue I never would have predicted having.

Astrid was Brandon’s wife. They had been together since we were teenagers. We all grew up together and were as thick as thieves. I stood as the best man in their wedding, I’m the godfather to their kids, and I’ve been there through every milestone and crisis .

The two of them were so in love, the quintessential family that everyone strives for. Brandon would brag about his life every chance he got, especially to me. And I always envied the life he had with Astrid, one of the most amazing women I’ve ever known and someone I’m lucky enough to call my friend, too.

And I never thought about her otherwise until a few months before that night—the night that everything changed.

“Proud to wear the title,” I mutter, trying to hide the irritation that word evokes in me. But my brother catches it, smirking in my direction.

“Great. Well, maybe when you come over this week for game night, we can talk about it more?” She blinks a few times, tilting her head at me as she waits for me to respond.

Every week I spend one evening over at her house playing games with the kids. Bentley is eleven now, and Lilly is seven. It’s a tradition I started with them after Brandon died. My entire family grew up playing board games together, and I wanted to help them have that same sense of togetherness. After losing my dad this year, I understand the absence that creates even more now.

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Astrid!” Brian, the other manager of the restaurant, calls out to her. “Get your ass over here! We’re taking shots!”

“Ugh. I really don’t want to be hungover tomorrow,” she whispers.

“One won’t kill you,” Dallas chimes in. “After that, use the vodka bottle full of water under the bar and pour your own if they keep pressuring you to take more.” He winks at her.

Dallas learned from the previous owner to keep a dummy bottle of alcohol for those patrons that just didn’t know when to stop. Pouring them shots of water never gets old, especially when they act like it tastes bad or burns going down .

Fucking funny as hell.

Grinning, she stands from her stool and smooths down her light pink top, the one that offers the perfect sliver of her cleavage. It’s a favorite of mine. “Perfect. See you boys later.”

The two of us watch her walk away before Dallas slides onto the stool she just vacated. “You’re such a good friend ,” he says in a feminine voice, imitating Astrid from before.

Glaring at him, I bark out, “Shut the fuck up.”

“I can’t. It’s in the older brother by-laws that I must give you shit about your unrequited crush every hour, on the hour. And getting a front row seat to your misery is just icing on the cake.”

“You’re a dick.”

“Yes, I can be.” Dallas grows serious now, slipping into his concerned, big brother role. “But I also just hate seeing you hung up on her like this.”

I shrug. “It is what it is.”

“It doesn’t have to be, man.”

I pin him with my eyes. “Yes, it does. I’m tired of having this fucking argument with you. Just drop it.”

He holds his palms up. “Fine. I’ll drop it, especially since this is her night and I don’t want to ruin it. But I hate seeing you waste time not going after what you want. It’s been four years, Penn…”

“You think I don’t fucking know that?” I cut him off, tired of having this same conversation with him over and over again.

For the past year especially, Dallas has made it a mission to give me shit about my feelings for Astrid. I guess I thought I was better at hiding it than I was, and then a few weeks ago, I made the mistake of telling him that I had my shot with her three years ago and she said no. Now he really won’t let it go .

“Just because you’re happy and in love now doesn’t mean you have the responsibility to help other people get there, okay?”

He studies me over the rim of his glass as he takes a drink of his beer and grows serious, the teasing lilt in his voice gone. “No, but if the past couple of months have taught me anything, it’s that life’s fucking short and ruminating on shit that we have no control over doesn’t solve anything. All it does is force us to waste time we could spend being happy.”

Our father died eight months ago now, and his death hit my older brother the hardest. Their relationship was tumultuous at best since my father, a retired Marine, never approved of my brother enlisting in the Marines himself. He wanted to save him from the guilt and horror that serving could wreak on his mind, but Dallas didn’t listen. Even up until our dad died, he and Dallas had animosity between them. It wasn’t until Willow entered Dallas’s life and he was forced to face the truth behind our dad’s strong opinions that he finally found some peace.

I’m relieved he has because, as much as I hate that he’s hell-bent on being so involved in my life, I do it right back to him. It was time he started letting go of the anger and guilt he carried around. And Willow finally helped him do that.

But facing my own demons?

Yeah…I don’t have time for that shit.

“Things between us work. There’s no sense in messing with that,” I counter, feeling like I’m defending my friendship with Astrid like always.

Dallas scoffs. “Yeah, I thought things were working in my life, too. And then Willow stormed in and showed me what I’ve been missing.”

“You talkin’ about me?” The woman in question slides in next to my brother as his arm wraps around her waist .

He stares up at her from the stool, lovesick and fucking beaming. It’s sickening, really. “Maybe, Goose,” he replies, using the nickname he gave her shortly after she arrived in town and established a war with the geese that were out to get her.

“Good things?”

“Just how you’ve managed to make rainbows shoot out of his ass,” I answer before he can.

Willow snorts. “Oh, Jesus. I take it Dallas has pissed you off already this evening?”

“Naturally.”

“Penn is just sulking like normal. He’s mad because I keep telling him to make a move with…”

“That’s enough.” I cut him off, standing from my chair and draining the rest of my beer. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and when I take it out to see who’s calling, my pulse spikes. “Fuck, I’ve got to take this.”

“Secret girlfriend?” Willow teases.

“Like I have time for that,” I grate out, sending the call to voicemail so I can call back in a minute.

“Nope, all of his free time is held for Astrid, remember?” Dallas croons, drawing Willow closer to his chest.

Willow swats at him. “Oh, stop. Penn, don’t listen to your brother. I get it.”

“Get what?” I ask, eyeing her skeptically.

“Why you don’t cross the line.”

“Cross the line?” Dallas interjects. “He’s so far away from the line that he can’t even see the line. Hell, the line is a dot to him.”

Willow arches her brow at him. “Was that your attempt at a Friends reference, babe?”

Dallas grins. “Yeah, Goose. How’d I do? ”

“Well, you didn’t quite use it in the right context, but I appreciate the effort.” Willow kisses his lips and then turns back to me. “We’ve been bingeing the series together because I make references to it and your brother has no idea what I’m saying.”

“Sounds exciting,” I say sarcastically.

Willow rolls her eyes at me. “It’s the best show ever, and just because you can’t appreciate it, doesn’t mean you should yuck someone else’s yum, Penn.” I chuckle silently as her gaze softens. “Astrid has been through a lot, and she’s about to take on an entirely new level of responsibility of owning a business,” she says, returning to the topic from before, even though I was hoping she would leave it alone. Looks like I’m not that lucky. “Just continue to be there for her the way you’ve always been. She appreciates you, you know.”

Sighing, I nod. “Yeah, I know. Look, I’ve got to go. Make sure she gets home all right?” I say to Willow, standing from my stool.

“I will.”

With a parting jut of my chin, I head for the front door, but get stopped by Mrs. Hansen before I can leave.

“Penn!” she calls after me.

I spin around to face her. “What’s up, Mrs. Hansen?”

“I was wondering if you could stay later at the hardware store tomorrow?” she asks, batting her eyelashes at me. Elizabeth Hansen is older than my mother, so when she does this, I just get creeped out. But she’s my boss, so I hold in my reaction.

“Well, I have plans on Tuesdays…”

“I know, but Harold has a doctor’s appointment and he can’t drive himself afterward. He has to get his eyes dilated.”

Sighing, I agree. After all, it’s not like she can help that. And this is what I do. I help people when they need something. “Sure, Mrs. Hansen. I can stay late. ”

“Thank you, Penn. Also, there’s a new load of lumber that’s coming in tomorrow that I’m going to need your help with too.”

“What about Vince?” I ask, referring to another employee who usually handles the outdoor area of the store.

“He hurt his back. Won’t be in for a few days.”

Shit. Between him and me, we usually handle the heavy lifting around the store, but without him, that means I’ll be the one that will take the brunt of the physical labor.

Nothing I can’t handle, but still.

“Okay. We’ll get it done. But you might want to think about hiring someone new,” I tell her.

“Oh. Yeah. I know.” She turns away from me, avoiding my eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Penn,” she says before walking away, back to Astrid’s party.

With one last parting glance, I push through the door of the restaurant and head straight out to my truck before I can get stopped again. The sun is almost past the horizon in the distance, leading to nightfall. Carrington Cove sits right on the coast in North Carolina, and the view of the ocean I’ve seen for my entire life never gets old. Turquoise and dark blue waves crash onto the white sandy beaches, the last remaining daylight reflecting off the water in the distance. Streetlights and neon signs begin illuminating the coast, and the Ferris wheel on the pier shines brightly against the purple and navy sky.

And as I drive, I hope that I don’t run out of daylight before I can arrive at the place that may be my own little venture in the near future.

** *

“They accepted your offer, Penn.” Pam from Cove Real Estate smiles at me as I walk through the house.

“I can’t believe it.” I don’t think the reality has hit me yet, but as I walk around the space and make a mental list of everything that needs to be fixed, I’m sure it will feel real the second I start pouring money into the place. It’s a good thing they took twenty thousand less than the asking price.

“Well, money isn’t everyone’s top priority. Tom and his wife knew you’d take care of the house, and I may have put in a good word for you as well.”

I spin to face her. “You didn’t have to do that, Pam.”

She lays her hand on my shoulder, our height difference making the gesture difficult. At six foot five, I’m taller than most everybody, so I’m used to it. “I know I didn’t, but you deserve this.”

Hearing those words from her only feeds into the anxiety brewing in my chest. For years, I’ve had this idea of flipping houses and turning them into vacation rentals for tourists in our town. The Cove Inn only has so many rooms, which means many out-of-towners end up staying in the handful of rentals in town or finding accommodations in nearby towns instead. It robs Carrington Cove of more revenue, and that’s revenue that I saw as an opportunity for a business, especially since I know just about everything about maintaining and owning a home. And now that this house is in escrow, it seems like I finally have a chance to make something of that beyond my reputation as the local hardware store handyman.

But the threat of failure is still lurking under the surface.

“Thanks, Pam.”

“Not a problem. Since we opted for a fast escrow, the keys will be yours by Friday. Tom was eager to get out from under the mortgage. ”

“Damn. This is really happening, isn’t it?” I mutter mostly to myself. Friday is only five days away.

“It is. How long do you think it will be before the place is ready? You know I have clients that I can send your way.” Pam owns the real estate office in town, and she also runs the travel agency with her husband. When I told her about my plan, she was the first one to encourage me to go after it and introduced me to Tom and his wife before they even listed the house on the market.

“Well, I’m doing the bulk of the work myself, so I’m not sure, honestly. Between working at the restaurant and hardware store, and now helping Astrid renovate the bakery…” My eyes cast over the house again. “Maybe a couple of months as long as the weather cooperates?”

She nods, happy with my answer. “That sounds reasonable. It’s the off-season anyway. Winter is coming, so take your time. But if you could have it ready to go by March, that would be ideal so we can book for the spring break crowd.”

“I should be able to make that happen.” That is if I don’t go bankrupt first .

One day at a time, Penn. That’s what you promised yourself, remember?

She pats me on the shoulder once more. “Well, I’ll call you when I can officially hand over the keys, but I wanted to bring you by in person so you could get an idea of what you’re working with.”

I’ve driven by this house for most of my life, but I’d never seen the inside. Pam showed me pictures when she called with the information of the listing, and I put in an offer without seeing the place in person. I couldn’t pass on the opportunity and the price was right.

All these years I’d been putting off pulling the trigger on this venture, worried about timing, not having enough money, and what people might think. So, even though I’m finally taking a chance, I’m keeping this piece of information close to the vest right now. I don’t need anyone’s input and pressure to make this work. I don’t want people inserting themselves into my business. And if worst comes to worst and things don’t pan out the way I want them to, I could totally live in this place. It would beat the two-bedroom house I snatched up years ago and have called home ever since—a place that I could rent out right now for income if I needed to while I worked on this one. I don’t mind living in a construction zone. I’ve done it before.

“I appreciate that. And, as we discussed, please keep this to yourself, okay?”

She eyes me curiously. “I will, but you should be proud, Penn. You’ve made a sound investment. That should be celebrated.”

“It will be, but now’s not the right time. I want to make sure everything is perfect before I let people know what I’m up to.”

She huffs out a laugh. “News flash, honey. Owning a business is a lot like having a kid. No one is ever really ready, but you just have to have faith that you’ll figure it out as you go. And you know how this town can be. Secrets don’t stay secrets for long.”

Faith .

That’s the one thing that’s been missing, the reason why I’ve been waiting until now.

Do I have faith in myself to make this business successful? I want to believe that I do.

But being a leader? Being a pioneer or the one in charge? That was always more of Dallas’s role.

And what would my dad think? He was always the one that was about helping others, donating his time volunteering at the Veteran’s Center in town after he was honorably discharged from the Marines when I was a kid. I swear, any Marine in or near our town knew who he was. While my brother was traveling around the world serving his country, my dad taught me to be someone others could depend on, a man who stood by his word because that would be what I was judged upon someday.

But I liked blending into the background.

Even Parker, my younger brother, shot for the stars, academically inclined and steadfast about pursuing a career as a veterinarian.

Hazel, my younger sister, took her passion for photography and turned it into a business.

I’m the Sheppard sibling that always blended into the background. Hence why I help out at Dallas’s restaurant, and at the hardware store with Mrs. Hansen, and anywhere else around town where I’m needed.

It’s just been easier that way—less responsibility, less pressure, less to answer for when something goes wrong, but I could be there for people the way my father taught me to be.

I was rarely the one in trouble at home, unless I fed into one of Dallas’s not-so-bright ideas. My parents didn’t hover over me like the others, and I realized early on that if I didn’t do much to garner attention, it stayed that way.

But now? Sitting on the sidelines doesn’t hold the same appeal. Losing my father eight months ago was a wake-up call that I need to start living my life.

Except there’s no one else to blame if this goes south.

But it’s time for me to put my neck on the line—for myself, and my future.

I’ve always wanted more, and even though I’d never admit it to him, Dallas is right.

The time is now.

So I’m taking my chance.

Too bad I don’t have the guts to do that in other aspects of my life.