21. PAUL

Ithink I had been asleep, or at least I was drifting in and out of it. I became aware of some small movement in the apartment on the other side of the door.

It was one of those odd moments where, for a second, you are not sure what is happening or even where you are. A flicker of unease filled me as I grappled with the unfamiliarity of my surroundings. I remembered that I was in London, in a serviced apartment, and Jack was on the other side of that door.

The stillness of the night, even in the center of London, seemed total. There seemed to be no other sounds except for that vague sense of movement, of someone moving.

And those small sounds continued. I could not stop hearing them now. Opening my eyes, I let them get used to the darkness. Gradually, I became able to see.

I lay perfectly still, the faint creak of feet on floorboards patterning the silence. My heart quickened; my breathing was shallow.

I decided to get up and see what was happening. I had fallen asleep in my underwear, and I got out of bed, fumbling in the darkness until I hit the switch of my bedside lamp.

The air was cool on my near-naked body. Immediately, my nipples hardened because of the temperature. I walked toward the door and gently opened it. I didn’t know why I was doing it so quietly.

The scene beyond was revealed.

At the window of the living room, right up against the net that gave some privacy, I saw Jack staring out at the night, silhouetted against the soft glow of the city at night. His gaze was fixed on the canvas of London’s blackened rooftops beyond. At first, he didn’t notice or hear my presence.

I watched him watching the night.

My eyes moved across the living room’s darkness. I saw the covers on the sofa bed thrown back. He had gotten up, sleepless perhaps, and had become drawn into what he was looking at or into his thoughts.

He was completely naked. I stared at him, all six feet four of him, his skin painted pale by the moonlight, his muscles chiseled, his skin bare from the feet up.

His buttocks were huge and domed, powerful like his thighs. His biceps and shoulders bulged, and his waist was not slim like mine but muscular, manly. And, of course, I saw his penis, hanging heavy and long.

There was a twitch inside my body, a hunger. I understood what I wanted. I wanted him inside me. I wanted to feel him – both physically and emotionally – inside me.

“Jack,” I murmured, my voice the only sound in the stillness.

He swung round.

“Shit!” he cried.

I laughed.

“Sorry!”

His hand touched his chest briefly.

“Shit, you made me jump.”

He started to laugh a little too. We calmed down and he was looking at me, the light from the window falling on his face. His eyes widened, and a sheepish smile spread on his lips.

“Sorry,” he said, and he meant his nakedness, “I couldn’t sleep, and I just got up for a moment.”

I offered a sympathetic nod.

“No worries,” I replied. I walked across the room to his side. Only when we were close did I feel his naked massiveness, taller, stronger than me.

Together, we stood and turned slightly to the window, gazing out over the city’s nocturnal expanse. The city was still. Only here and there did you see a taxi light, the cab trundling alone in the night.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he said. “Come closer.”

I stepped right next to him. I could feel the heat of his body, his skin, next to mine. I felt a light touch in the dimple of the small of my back. “There aren’t so many amazing landmarks in this view. It’s just London, everything that’s marvelous about it, do you know what I mean?”

I turned to look up at him, and his dark eyes found mine.

“Yes,” I said, “I do.”

In the dim light, my gaze drifted down his body, lingering on Jack’s bare feet and legs, and then I saw it, his big penis getting hard. The moment made my breath catch. At once, I became erect, too.

“Jack…” I whispered.

He turned his face closer to mine.

“It’s weird, I…I don’t know what I am feeling.”

By now his penis was pointing directly upward.

“We don’t have to do anything.”

He shook his head.

“That’s the weird thing. I really want to. I want to…with you.”

Our faces remained close. I felt the proximity of our mouths, could feel his reedy breathing. I reached out my hand and let my fingertips on the underside of his cock. He said nothing and did not pull away. He let me touch him.

“I am very attracted to you, Paul,” he said very softly, submitting to my touch. My heart leapt to hear it. “I feel we have this connection.”

His penis grew even harder, standing rigidly upright. I was holding it fully now, in the soft parts of my palm. “I have never been with a man before,” he said. “I’m nervous.” His eyes moved. The half-light glinted on their dark surfaces. “But I want to do it. Right at this moment, I want more than anything to be with you. I just don’t understand my own feelings.” He smiled briefly. “I never understand my own feelings.”

With his cock in my one hand, I touched his hard, flat stomach with the other. He lifted his hands to my face and drew me toward him. He touched his lips against mine. We started kissing, very passionately, there in London’s thin moonlight.

“Do you want to come to bed?” I asked as we pulled away from each other.

He turned to look at me. How shy he seemed, this big, confident man.

“Yes,” he said. “Yes, I want to, Paul, very much.”

Still holding his hand, I led him to the bedroom. Our bodies moved through spaces lit only by the softest light from the streets outside and the lamp next to the bed.

In the bedroom, the air was heavy with anticipation and desire. As we stood there, we turned to face each other, and our gazes met. The moment felt suspended.

My heart thudded in my chest, every part of me felt like it was flickering back to life after some long hibernation. It was the return of that sense of wanting to be physical, intimate, with someone.

I couldn’t help but feel aware of every detail – Jack’s eyes holding mine, both tenderly and hungrily, the muscular massiveness of him before me, and his penis, large and thick and now fully erect.

“Touch me,” he whispered. “I want you to touch me.”

I reached down and took his shaft in the softness of my palm. His penis was so very hard, like stone. My hand felt like it could only just reach around it. The skin was not warm; it was blazing hot. My lips parted.

“I want you, Paul,” he said. “I’ve realized how much I want you.”

He was everything a man should be: not some porn fantasy of a sculpted god, but intelligent, kind, masculine, muscular. But most important of all, he wanted me.

“I want you, too, Jack,” I murmured.

His fingers touched the waistband of my underwear.

“Take them off,” he said.

I pulled down my shorts so that we were both naked together. My penis was hard now, too. We started to kiss again. At first, it was slow, delicate pecks, a romantic moment of affection and desire. We had gotten to know each other and cared about each other. But then our mouths opened, and we started to kiss more deeply, it was changing again, what the two of us were.

He folded me in his huge arms and pressed me against his chest. I reached up to kiss him, our tongues touching, his breath in my mouth, sweet and hot. I felt so safe wrapped up against his body.

His cock was so hard I felt it throbbing against me, pressing into my slim belly. I pulled him down onto the bed, and he moved on top of me, covering my body. His weight pressed down on me.

He felt so huge, his form both hard and heavy. He put kisses on my neck, along my jaw, returning his mouth to mine. He was on top of me but lifted his pelvis to guide my hand to his penis again. It felt even bigger.

Then I admitted it to him, “I’ve never been fucked before.”

“Don’t worry,” he said. “We can take our time.”

We took it slowly, rushed nothing. I felt safe and protected, and that was just what I wanted from him. I went to kiss him again, raising my mouth to his. He broke off our kiss and put his mouth to my ear. He gave a soft growl and a smile and kissed me again.

He pulled himself back from my body, sliding back onto his knees. I saw his cock was very hard. Then, with powerful hands, he pushed my legs back to my chest. My whole weight rocked backward as he lifted my legs further apart. I felt my buttocks spread.

He slid his hands along the back of my thighs to hold me in position. Then, he put his face down to my ass, his tongue wet and warm on the skin of my buttocks. He started to kiss the skin around my hole, and then his tongue flickered along my taint. I gasped.

He put little kisses further back along my crotch until I finally felt his tongue press, flatten, against my hole. My whole body twitched. I said his name. A deep moan, almost like that growl in my ear, escaped from him as he began to lick me harder, faster.

Waves of pleasure ran up my body. I had never known what it would feel like, had imagined it so many times, but I had no idea how intense it would be, how it would make me feel.

My thighs started to shake and tense a little, and because of the pleasure, my toes started to curl, and my belly was clenching.

“Jack,” I murmured. “Jack… Jack…”

In rhythmic waves, he started to push his tongue inside me. I groaned and pulsed, and my breathing grew shorter; I could not believe what he was doing to my body. I looked down at him, his broad shoulders, his mouth against me, his eyes staring up at me, twinkling yet commanding. He moved upward slightly, and then I saw his penis, still rock hard even though neither of us was touching it.

“I want to fuck you,” he started murmuring. We moved into a missionary position. This first time, nothing else would do. We needed to be lovers, not porn stars, not fuck buddies. We needed to be connected by his penis, face-to-face, eye contact.

“Do you have some lube?” he asked. I didn’t. Why would I have brought lube?

“No.”

He grinned. He was above me, and then as he moved against me, his cock found my hole. He spat in his hand and rubbed it over the head of his penis. It was wet on the skin around my asshole, and then to my great surprise, he pushed inside me in a single movement.

He went slowly. But him rimming me had made me relaxed. In a single moment, he slid all the way in. I felt every inch, and I gasped, with its suddenness.

It hurt a little but once he was inside, and it felt like he was filling me entirely, as if I could feel him inside me right up to my belly, I just felt so complete. I didn’t care anymore: I was just hungry with desire for this moment, this connection to him.

My God, I kept thinking, Jack is inside me. He is inside my body. A man, for the first time, had his hard cock inside my body. And it was this man: Jack.

He stayed kind, attentive.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I murmured.

He moved inside me, long, slow, tender strokes, rhythmic waves pushing up through my body. I waited for my body to relax further, and it did. He smiled at me – those beautiful dark eyes – and reached forward to kiss me. How could I not relax? It was everything I wanted.

My body opened to him and relaxed completely, and soon, he was fucking me easily. My legs were held against his chest; one looped around his back, one over his shoulder as we fucked, facing each other, me on my back, him pounding me on top of my body.

His desire for me felt overwhelming. As he started fucking me a bit harder, I could see the intensity in his dark eyes: that masculine need to fuck, that wanting to penetrate the person you desire. His weight, his size started to bang into me, all of him pounding into all of me.

That day, we had strolled around London on a Sunday, I felt, like lovers might. Now, only hours later, we were lovers. I did not know where this was heading, but in that moment, I could not bring myself to even worry. This was all that mattered. Right then, nothing else in the whole world mattered more than him being inside me.

With each thrust, his physical wall of muscle and the hugeness and hardness of his cock inside me only melted any resistance or doubt further and further, until there was nothing left. There was only him and me, connected, as if we had become one.

Then something happened – a low buzz taking over every part of me. My eyes were rolling back in my head, and I could hardly breathe. My skin was hot, and my body felt like it was melting.

I realized what was happening. I had read about it but did not know I would ever experience it. His cock had been hitting my prostate in just the right way, that he was bringing me to orgasm inside my body. It was like I was losing control of myself, of my whole body, or rather, I was giving control of it to him.

I was afraid that I was gonna cum if he kept doing it. I had been touching my own cock, but I had to stop now. I wanted him so much. I wanted him too much.

He was inside me, fucking me, his cock rubbing my prostate, opening me up, and I was losing not just control but almost a sense of myself. I had never known this intensity of pleasure.

“Paul,” he murmured. “Paul, I…I think I might wanna come. Is it okay if I cum?”

I wanted nothing more in the whole world then. I could feel my ass starting to twitch and pulse around the thickness of his cock. It throbbed and hardened further, and I knew it. He began to fuck me harder, faster. His stare, fixed on my face, grew very intense. His cheeks darkened.

“I am gonna cum,” he said. “I am gonna come inside you.”

Him saying it was too much. I could not hold on any longer. Even though I wasn’t touching myself, my own semen shot up my own belly and chest in great, hot spurts on my stomach and chest.

Seeing it, he cried, “Fuck! Paul! Fuck!”

And then he thrust very deeply inside me, let out a great roar, and his cock started to twitch and pulse inside me, pounding on my prostate, as he ejaculated straight into me, and I could feel it hitting my inside, spurt after spurt.

He fell down onto my body, out of breath, and then he started giggling a little, and then his mouth found mine, and we were kissing.

Yes, I felt so complete. But also, I felt so happy. He let his weight fall on me completely, and his forehead, glazed with sweat, nestled in the crook of my neck, with my legs still pinned back by his body.

Only then did I realize he was still hard inside me. A few seconds passed like that, and then he drew his face back, smiling, and he started to fuck me again.