18. JACK

Iwoke to the gentle hum of my alarm. Once again, the sofa bed had obviously spent the night punching me in every muscle and bone in my body. How do you end up feeling pummeled by a night’s sleep? Stretching out my body, I peeled myself away from the warmth of the duvet, unafraid of the cold morning air, relieved to be off the sofa bed.

Paul was already up, as he had been the day before, in his underwear, fiddling with the Nespresso machine. Had it become our morning ritual already? I watched him, laughing to myself. He became aware that I was doing it.

“Don’t laugh! I am doing it! I am doing it!” he joked.

I started laughing, really laughing. It was so sweet, so adorable. “Stop it!” he cried, laughing too. “Stop laughing at me!”

Eventually, I got out of bed and ran naked through to the bathroom. His eyes flicked after me, briefly. After a quick shower and pulling on some trousers and a shirt, I joined Paul at the small kitchen table. A cup of coffee was awaiting me.

“How was the sofa bed?” he asked.

“It was great!” I lied.

“Oh, honestly, take the bed.”

I laughed.

“I am not starting that again, Paul!”

***

We headed out to work together, picking up some bagels along the way, eating them in the street. I managed to get cream cheese on my jacket, and he cleaned it off, wetting his thumb with his spit and rubbing it out.

Arriving at the office, we were greeted by a familiar buzz of activity. The team seemed already in full swing. Throughout the day, Paul and I worked separately or side by side, looking at new projects that were to be allocated to the London team and at possible deadlines, talking out with the team about whether they could handle them.

Hours ticked by. In the late morning, a business-awareness meeting was the main event. Laura led it, her passion and expertise in marketing evident as she talked about raising awareness of the firm and its place in the European market. She went through a presentation on marketing strategies, and the room was very involved in what she had to say.

I worked late that evening, and Paul and I agreed that he could head home early and we would have a night in. Two nights of British drinking were enough for us!

It was 10:00 before I headed home, having had to drop in to a networking event with Laura, although I was careful only to sip water. When I got in, I let myself into the apartment and called hello, but there was no reply.

Walking through the living room, I came to the bedroom door, where I found Paul already asleep on his bed, on top of the covers. A soft glow of lamplight illuminated him, curled up like some little woodland creature, gentle shadows falling over his delicate body.

I stood there for a moment, watching him sleep, watching the calm rise and fall of his body as he breathed slowly. He lay there, peaceful and serene, and I wondered what it would be like if I lay beside him, wrapped my arms around him, let my weight fall against his. And then I realized it. I felt that same attraction to him that I had before.

So I let my mind wander a little further. What would happen if doing that, he turned and asked me to kiss him? Would I say yes? And if he asked me to make love to him, would I also say yes? Would I be unable to say no?

Then, shocking to me, my penis started to get hard. I let out a sharp breath, expecting myself to push the thought away – cancel it, rub it out. But I didn’t. I let the idea linger, and my erection grew stronger.

This had to stop. Gently, quietly enough not to wake him, I closed the bedroom door and set out the sofa bed. I jerked off quickly, with him on the other side of the wall.

And then…I had a good night’s sleep.

***

The next morning, as we drank our coffee at the kitchen table, our hair still wet from the shower, Paul said he had something to tell me. I wondered what it might be.

“For a while now, I’ve been thinking about leaving the company.”

This shocked me.

“Leaving the company?” I cried. “But why? You’re such an integral and valued part of the team.”

“To be honest, before you asked me to come to London, I was treading water. I was never invited to move up. I felt very stuck.”

I gave him a direct kind of look.

“Paul, I don’t think anyone ever got the vibe you wanted promotion. I mean, this is an industry filled with sharks and wannabe sharks.”

“Which are you?” he joked.

“Ancient walrus.”

We both laughed.

“You’re right, Jack. I can’t complain. I never put myself out there.”

“You should have said,” I protested, and he grinned.

“But maybe I didn’t do it because I didn’t want it. It wasn’t really in my heart, so I let it go.”

I was watching him, wondering what was in his heart.

“So what do you want to do, really?”

He sighed. “I’ve always had this dream of becoming a painter.”

This took me aback.

“A painter? That’s incredible, Paul. I had no idea.”

He offered a small, wistful smile.

“It’s just a dream. I would have to go and train.”

“Do a fine arts degree?” I asked.

“Yeah. But this trip, coming here with you, it’s reinvigorated me about my work with the firm.”

I was happy to hear him say it, but I was someone who made their dream – their professional dream, at least – come true. There is nothing more satisfying than to live the life you dream of.

“That’s great, Paul, but if that’s what you truly want, then you should pursue it. Life’s too short not to pursue your dreams, to follow what’s in your heart, as you say.”

His eyes held mine.

“Are you encouraging me to leave the company?” he teased.

I laughed.

“No, I’m encouraging you to live your dream.”