Chapter 20

20

ISAAC

T he dream was a good one. Comforting. Brody was sifting his fingers through my hair as he held me and murmured soft words into my ear. Words of forgiveness. Of praise. Of love. And then those words became beeps, the steady echo of a machine breaking through his velvety voice, too jarring to ignore. The pain came next, as rhythmic as the beeps, until they were in sync and getting louder and louder. Until I couldn't hear or feel anything other than pain and beeping.

Everything hurt. The pain radiated from my skull, down my spine, to my hips, my thighs, my feet. I heard a moan, felt it in my chest, and realized it came from me.

"Baby," said a deep, raspy voice.

My eyes flew open, and the skin of Brody's wrist and forearm were all I could see, his fingers in my hair all I could feel, until he pulled his arm away and laced his fingers with mine near his hip. I looked higher until I found his slitted gray eyes, my heart pounding so hard it hurt, and I whipped my head up.

He was awake. Brody was awake .

"Brody," I whispered. My entire body ached from the uncomfortable position I'd fallen asleep in, but it didn't matter.

Brody smiled at me, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. His oxygen mask was gone, lying beside him on the bed, and he looked tired—so damn tired. He had a wicked black eye and some bruising on his cheekbone. But he was smiling at me, and my own pain was forgotten. "Hey, sweetheart," he croaked.

"Hey," I said. "H-how are you feeling?" I tried to scoot my chair even closer.

"Not too bad," he said. "But that's probably because of the pain meds."

Guilt started to claw its way to the surface, and I tried to shove it back down. Brody wasn't looking at me like he hated me. He wasn't looking at me like he thought this was all my fault. But maybe that was because of the pain meds, too. Maybe once he was back to normal, he would realize that he needed to hate me because I'd almost gotten him killed.

"Brody, I?—"

"I'm so sorry," he rasped, and my heart almost stopped when I saw the moisture in his eyes. His lips wobbled the slightest bit, and I stood up, moving toward him, hovering over him and grasping his face in my hands. His eyes, which never left mine, were quickly filling with tears as he said, "I'm so fucking sorry, Isaac, if I'd known?—"

"Shh," I said. "What do you have to be sorry for?" I brushed away the first tears that fell and pressed my lips gently to his, just for a moment. I'd never tasted anything sweeter. " I'm the one who's sorry, baby, this is all my fault?—"

"No it's not ," he whispered harshly. "I should have?—"

"I'm not gonna let you think for one second?—"

"Oh my god I can't take this," Bri muttered, moving to the other side of Brody. I'd forgotten anyone else was in the room. "The only person whose fault this is is in jail, so shut up. Both of you. Quit blaming yourselves."

"Hey Bri?" Brody said. "Can you get me a soda?"

"You just had heart surgery, I'm not giving you caffeine and sugar."

"Fine, then a bottle of water."

"You have a whole pitcher right there," she said, pointing at a rolling table nearby.

"That's tap water. I want a bottle ," Brody gritted out.

Bri rolled her eyes and popped her gum, which is how I knew everything was going to be okay. "Fine. I know what you're doing," she grumbled. She kept grumbling as she left the room, and then Brody and I were alone.

"Where'd your uncle go?" I asked.

Brody's gaze slid back to mine, then moved around my face, as if checking to make sure I was exactly how he'd left me. "He went to open the shop. I told him I'd be fine, and he can't just keep it closed. Isaac…" he said quietly. He lifted a hand to gently run his fingers along my jaw, his eyes watching where he touched.

"I love you," I blurted out. Surprised gray eyes flew to mine, and he let out a rough breath. I kept going. "I love you so much, Brody, and I'm sorry I was too scared to say it before. I debated writing you a poem, and I think maybe I would have, but then all this happened and I just—I can't wait long enough to put this in writing, I just need you to know. Right now. And now you do. So, I love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, although you're not a thing, you're a person, and oomph ?—"

Brody grabbed the back of my neck and pressed his lips to mine, eating the rest of my rambling and making my entire body buzz with a warm, fizzing sensation that made me feel like I was about to float away. The kiss was gentle and reverent and tender, so sweet and full of affection that it cracked my heart open. I let the contents pour into that kiss, pour into Brody, fully giving myself over to this big, beautiful man that I was absolutely gone for.

When he loosened his grip and let his head fall back onto the pillow, a lazy smile on his lips, he said, "I love you too, sweetheart. So much it hurts."

"I think that's probably the heart surgery you just had," I whispered. He laughed and my eyes slid shut, savoring the sound. I opened them again and asked, "Did you talk to the doctor? What did he say?"

"Well, he said it was interesting that my husband and I aren't wearing rings," he said, and I groaned. "I told him they must have fallen off during the…tussle."

My mouth gaped open. "Tussle? That's the word you're going with? Just a small tussle that led to major surgery for you? Fuck, Brody, I thought you were dead !"

His gaze softened, and there was pain in it, too. "But I'm not," he said quietly. "I'm okay. And I'll be okay." He cupped my face with both hands, brushing his thumbs under my eyes, and I realized I'd started crying again. Was there not a limit to how much a person could cry in under twenty four hours? There damn well should be.

"Brody…I was so fucking worried about you. You have no idea how glad I am that you're okay. If I lost you, right when I found you…" I couldn't finish the thought. It was too much.

"But you didn't," he said, ever the voice of reason. Always stopping my spiraling thoughts before they got out of control. "I wouldn't change a single thing that happened, Isaac. If I wasn't there to…" He closed his eyes, sighed, then opened them again. "I'm glad I was there to protect you."

Oh fuck me, my heart. I turned my head and kissed his palm, my voice rough as I said, "Yeah. I—fuck, Brody, I love you so much."

"I love you too," he said with a small smile. "The doctor said I'd probably have to stay here for five days, maybe a week depending on how quickly I recover, and then stay at home for the next few weeks after that. They prescribed me a bunch of stuff I'll have to take, too. Antibiotics, an anticoagulant, and a beta blocker. I can't do anything strenuous and I won't be able to work for a while. At least a month. Maybe more. I might have to do some cardiac rehabilitation program if the doctor thinks that's what I need. I'm gonna be pretty useless, honestly."

"No. Nope. You don't get to do that. Whatever you need, I'll be there to give it to you, okay? If you need me to stay with you and wait on you hand and foot, that's what I'm gonna do. But you are not useless, Brody. You've been through a major trauma and now you're in recovery, and I love you. It's my job to take care of you. No, not job, poor word choice. It's my honor, and I get take care of you. So that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you whatever you need."

Brody's lips quirked in amusement at my angry tirade, and he said, "That was hot. Too bad I can't have sex for a while, because damn…I really want you to give me whatever I need. Really give it to me."

Unbelievable. A laugh huffed from my lips as I stared down at him. "God, I even love you when you're being ridiculous."

"Ditto," he said, fully grinning now.

In that moment, I knew love wasn't a static thing. It had the ability to grow, to deepen, to strengthen. And my love for Brody would keep on doing exactly that, I had no doubt. It already was.

The door to the room burst open as Brody and I were staring at each other with hearts in our eyes, and Bri said, "Ugh." She walked over to Brody and held out a water bottle that was half full.

"Uh…you couldn't get me a new one?"

"That is new, but I had to walk ten miles just to find a vending machine, and excuse me for not allowing myself to get dehydrated on the journey I took for you ."

Brody scoffed and took the water, uncapped it, and I was transfixed by the way his throat muscles worked as he swallowed sip after sip.

"So…Gavin, huh?" he said, a hardness in his voice and eyes.

"Yeah. Gavin. What a fucking asshole," I pointed out—unnecessarily, because after everything that happened, it went without saying that Gavin deserved everything that was coming to him. "He's in jail now."

Bri cleared her throat so hard it sounded painful, then said, "I talked to our lawyer."

Brody twisted the cap back on the water bottle and said, "Oh yeah? And?"

She plopped down onto a chair and smacked her gum, showing teeth in a vicious smile. "He says it'll be a slam dunk case, considering all the video evidence and the testimony you two newlyweds will give, along with all the other witnesses that were there. The state is going through with a criminal case against Gavin, but we're allowed to press charges and have our own civil case. He also spoke to the school, and Gavin Forster has been expelled. A faculty member witnessed the entire thing. How lucky is that?"

"I mean, I don't think lucky is the word I'd choose here…" I muttered. But there was a deep satisfaction in knowing that there were not one, but two lawsuits that prick would have to deal with.

Bri's eyes whipped to mine, and she said, "It was kismet. Is that better?"

I sighed. "Fine. Whatever." I looked at Brody, who was watching his sister with a fond expression, and it made something inside me melt. He obviously loved his sister, and she loved him right back, despite the roundabout way she showed affection. They had a close connection, and it made me happy for them.

"Thanks, Bri," he said.

She put her teeth away and gave him a real smile, and Bri was just as gorgeous as her brother. "I got you, baby bro."

" Baby bro? How old are you?" I asked. I'd always assumed she was younger than him. Because she looked really young.

"Twenty nine," she said.

I choked on nothing. "You look a decade younger," I said. And acted it, too, sometimes.

"Yeah, it's those Italian genes. Thanks, gramps," she said to the ceiling. "Although I do have a bone to pick with you about the son you raised. Hope you're setting him straight now, wherever you guys are."

Jesus. Christ.

"Okay," Brody said. "I think, on that uplifting note, I'm gonna take a little nap." His eyes slid to mine, like I was the last thing he wanted to see before he closed them, and he asked, "Stay with me? Be here when I wake up?"

Ugh, this man. "Of course," I said, kissing his forehead. His eyelids. His cheeks.

"So excited for you to be my servant," he murmured. "Gonna really take advantage of that."

"That's not what I said," I whispered. "You dick." I kissed his smile and sat by his side while he drifted off.

ONE MONTH LATER

"Hurry up, Jordan! Please don't make us late for our graduation !"

"I can't find my purple chucks! They're the only shoes I have that match my?—"

"THEY'RE RIGHT HERE!"

Unbelievable. I grabbed them from the rack by the front door and shoved them at Jordan as soon as he finished sprinting down the stairs. "Put them on in the car," I said over my shoulder, already hurrying to get in and start it up. We had twenty minutes to get to campus and get in our seats, and while normally it would only take about ten minutes, it was going to be an absolute mob scene and I was freaking out over finding parking. I loved Jordan, but when he made me sweat on days like this, I wanted to throttle him.

I had the car moving before he even closed the door all the way. "Holy shit!" he cried, scrambling to get it shut and put his seatbelt on. "Good lord, Isaac…it's kind of hot when you get like this."

I rolled my eyes and focused on getting us to campus.

"Is Brody coming?" Jordan asked when I was slowly driving through the outer fringes of the school hunting for an open spot.

"Yeah," I said. "Bri's bringing him, and then I'll drive him home." Hell yes, there was a spot! I slid in and grabbed my cap from the backseat. "Come on," I said to Jordan.

We ran across campus all the way to the auditorium with two minutes to spare. It was going to be a relief when I didn't have Jordan depending on me for rides anymore, honestly. I could be as early as I wanted now. But damn if I wasn't going to miss the guy. He'd taken an internship at a counseling center that the school funded and was starting his master's program in the fall. And while we were both sticking around the area, we wouldn't be living together anymore.

I was panting when we slid into our seats, and then immediately looked over my shoulder to the multitude of rows that had been set up for family and friends to watch. And there—right there in the front row—was Brody, his eyes already trained on me and a huge smile on his face. My heart thumped in my chest and then sped up as I smiled right back. Bri was to his left, her jaw working as she chewed her gum, looking like she wished she were anywhere else but here. I barely glanced at her before my gaze was drawn right back to Brody, who gave me a wink.

God, I couldn't wait for this to be over. I had plans for that man, now that the doctor had given the okay for him to participate in certain…activities again. I blew him a kiss that he pretended to catch, rolled my eyes, and was still smiling when I faced the stage.

"God you guys are sappy. It's disgustingly cute," Jordan whispered. "Seriously, I'm really jealous. Where's my man?"

I huffed a laugh and then someone started speaking into the microphone. I tuned most of it out, to be honest. I wasn't into ceremonies and big crowds and public recognition, even more so after what had happened. Because of the videos people had taken of Gavin's attack, because they'd been posted and reposted and viewed thousands of times, I had people coming up to me on campus that I didn't know. I mean, it was nice, since most of them asked if Brody and I were okay. But some of them just wanted selfies with me, which I always declined. I just wanted to get my degree and sneak off to Brody's basement—where I'd basically been living for the last month—and have my way with the only man I'd ever loved.

Brody had been doing well in the past month, and his doctor was surprised he was recovering so quickly. Must be those sexy Italian genes or something. His teachers had all been informed—one way or another—about what had happened, and he was given a lot of leeway so he could finish his classes on time. And to my delight, his partner project with that satchel-wearing too-touchy douche was called off. I ended up helping him with a lot of his work because he was pretty fatigued for the first few weeks after getting out of the hospital.

But, my god, did I love waiting on him hand and foot. I never thought I'd be the caretaker type, but it seemed for Brody, I was. I so was.

Someone called my name over the loudspeakers and threw a ‘summa cum laude' in there, and I stood up and walked to the stage to accept my diploma. Everyone cheered and I could not get off that stage fast enough. Jordan kissed my cheek when I sat back down and murmured, "I'm proud of you, hon," and when I looked back at Brody, he had the softest, proudest expression on his face that made everything inside me liquify.

Once it was over, Jordan drifted away to find Cam and Josh and Jamie, and Brody and Bri were at my side before I had even taken three steps.

"Congrats," Bri said. "I'm gonna leave now." She hesitated, then gave me a hug that lasted less than a second, and was speed walking away before I could say anything. I just laughed.

"I'm proud of you, baby," Brody murmured, drawing me into his arms and staring down at me with a wealth of affection. "Summa cum laude. You earned it."

"Thanks," I said. I pushed up to my tip toes and Brody's smile widened as he leaned down and pressed his lips gently to mine. My fingers curled up into the nape of his neck as my liquified insides heated up. "We should go," I said when he pulled away. "I have a surprise for you."

He arched one black brow and said, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I think you'll like it."

"Is it?—"

"No," I said. "No dicks in boxes."

Brody laughed and nuzzled his nose against mine. "All right. Come show me this surprise."

He laced his fingers through mine, and I didn't even mind how long it took to get back to my car because of all the people. It was like no one else existed when Brody was with me.

"Stop it, Brody." He huffed at me but let his head fall back onto the pillow. "Now you just lay there and take it."

"Fuck, Isaac, this wasn't what I had in mind when you told me you had a surprise for me," he said. His voice was husky and deep, edged with arousal as I straddled his legs and stroked him slowly.

When Brody saw the cuffs, his eyebrows had practically flown into his hairline. But this man could deny me nothing, no matter how apprehensive he was at first. I told him we didn't have to do it at all, it was just an idea, because of course I'd never try to get him to do something he wasn't comfortable with. But his lips had tipped up into a devilish smirk, and he'd stripped his clothes off and lain on the bed, arms out, fingers clutching the headboard. "Go on, baby. Make me your plaything," he'd said. It had defied physics, how quickly all the blood rushed to my dick.

I stared up at Brody, captivated by how turned on he was right now. His eyes were half-lidded as he watched me play with him, his broad chest moving rapidly with his breaths. His knuckles were white where he was holding the headboard. I licked up the long, hard length of him, rolling my tongue over his crown and making him groan.

"You're so fucking good at this, baby," he murmured. His tongue swept out to wet his bottom lip. "Look at how much you like to play with my cock with your perfect, pink tongue. Unngh ," he moaned when I sucked his dripping crown into my mouth and slid my tongue along his slit. His breathing picked up, sawing in and out of his chest when I dipped my head further, taking more of him into my mouth and moaning around his dick when he hit the back of my throat. He bucked when I gagged, making him slide even deeper, making him moan even louder as I held him there and swallowed.

Fuck, but I liked having him at my mercy. It was exactly how I'd imagined, my fantasy come to life, Brody's leanly muscled body stretched out beneath me. How he had to just lie there and take whatever I decided to give him. That everything was up to me. I wasn't sure if I would actually like this, because I loved it when Brody took charge and could touch me and taste me and move me how he wanted to. But it turned out I very much enjoyed having the roles reversed.

"Baby," he panted as I rolled his balls in one hand. I popped off his cock and took one in my mouth, swirling my tongue and sucking on it gently. " Fuck , baby, baby, please," he rasped. "Please let me fuck you. I want to come when I'm inside you."

"You want to fill me up?" I said, licking along the crease of his groin and thigh, nibbling at the vee of muscle just above it. "You want to fuck me bare, Brody? Come deep inside me and watch it leak out?"

Brody's eyes rolled back, making my cock throb, and he grunted. "Yes. Fuck yes. Yes, yes, yes," he begged. We'd already talked about this after he'd gotten out of the hospital. We even went together to get tested, and with every single one coming back negative, we'd decided that when the doctor said it was okay for Brody to start having sex again, we were skipping the condoms.

I grabbed the bottle of lube near his hip, squirted a huge glob into my palm and immediately spread it over every inch of his cock, stroking firmly. Then I gave myself a few strokes, Brody's hungry eyes watching everything. I reached behind me and grabbed the flared end of the plug Brody had put inside me before I'd cuffed him to the bed, sliding it out. My fingers curled into Brody's skin and I moaned as it dragged against my inner walls as Brody's ab muscles clenched tightly.

"Goddammit, baby," he said. I set the plug to the side and moved up Brody's body until his cock was able to slide along my crease. I moved my hips up and down, teasing him like that and watching his biceps flex and release, watching his jaw clench tight, watching him throw his head back with a growl. "Isaac…" he groaned. A warning.

Heat was pulsing and pooling in my lower belly, anticipation thrumming along every nerve-ending when I reached behind me and positioned him at my hole. As I began to sink down onto him, Brody thrust his hips up and pushed into me in one long slide that sent me crashing forward on a shout, my hands coming up to grip his shoulders.

"You feel so good," he murmured. "So fucking good." He pounded his hips up again, sinking deeper, making my toes curl and my breaths shudder out of me. "So warm and tight. Like you were fucking made for me."

Brody kept fucking into me, hard and fast, and every time I tried to find his rhythm, tried to meet his thrusts, he changed it, slowing down, hitting my prostate until I was moaning into his neck and biting on the thick tendon there. I felt him shift his legs behind me, bending his knees and planting his feet flat on the bed so he could drive into me even harder, until I was wailing into his skin.

He slowed down on a curse, almost stopping, and I felt his lips press against the top of my head. "Sweetheart," he said, panting, his chest heaving beneath me. "I need to touch you. Let me out of these. I have to hold you."

I lifted my head, dazed, lost in a cloud where nothing else existed but Brody and the euphoric state he'd driven me to. I felt around on the bed for the key, and when my fingers touched metal, my hands were shaking as I leaned forward to unlock the cuffs. Brody pressed his hips up to keep his cock inside me, and as I hovered over him, fumbling with the key and the lock, his lips latched onto my neck, sucking hard. I almost dropped the key as a zap of pleasure jolted down my spine, but I finally shoved it into the lock as Brody's tongue made me forget who I was.

As soon as he heard the click, Brody yanked his hands free and wrapped his arms around me, one hand sliding up the nape of my neck and into my hair so he could drag my mouth to his. He held me there as he fucked into my mouth with his wicked tongue, his other arm wrapped around my waist. He sat up until we were chest to chest, and then started thrusting into me again, in earnest this time. He used the arm around my waist to move me with his thrusts, and when his lips trailed along my jaw, when he bit and licked and sucked down to my neck, my head rolled back and my eyes slid shut.

"You're so damn perfect," he whispered into my skin. "So beautiful. And all mine." His fingers in my hair yanked gently, urging me to open my eyes. When I did, Brody was staring at me with a reverence that made my breath falter. "Say it. Say you're mine, Isaac."

"Yours," I moaned as his cock slammed into me, harder now. "Fuck, I'm yours, Brody."

His mouth was on mine again, and when he wrapped one hand around my cock and started stroking me, I shoved my fingers into his hair and held on as he sent me over the edge. I clenched around his length, felt him swell inside me, felt bursts of heat as Brody came with a groan into my mouth, and then went limp in his arms as the overload of sensations took every last bit of energy from my body.

Brody lay back against the pillows, one hand curled in my hair, the other stroking up and down my back as I nestled my face into the crook of his neck, my fingers lazily playing with his hair. "Thank you," he murmured.

"For what?"

"Hm. For just being you. For letting me love you. For loving me back."

I kissed his neck. "You know what Dr. Seuss said?"

"What?"

"‘You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.' That's how I feel. I don't even want to close my eyes because I'm afraid to make this reality disappear. I never even let myself dream before you because I never felt good enough to be able to. I never even knew what love was, or what it could be, until you showed me. I love you, Brody. And I'm so thankful that you're such a persistent motherfucker."

When he laughed, the sound vibrated through me and tickled my ear, filling me up and evening out all my sharp edges. Contentment—true contentment—was the most invigorating and intoxicating feeling in the world. And I never would have known it without Brody.

Fuck, I loved this guy so much.