Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Jude

Present

“You all right over there, boy?” Cliff asks, flicking the ash of his cigarette downwind from me.

I’m tucked away at the rear of the vast cement hospital building, taking a short break after enduring a ten-hour onslaught in the emergency room. Exhaustion barely describes how I feel—dead tired would be putting it lightly. Yet, I wouldn’t trade this for anything.

At ten years old, I fell out of a tree and broke my arm. I vividly remember going to the emergency room, my mom frantically worried while I wailed from the pain. But the emergency room doctor brought a sense of calm and reassurance that helped to heal more than my broken bone. It gave me a new sense of purpose from that moment forward. I wanted to be a badass doctor that helped everyone that came through the hospital doors .

Becoming a doctor was, of course, harder than I pictured as a kid. I didn’t know there’d be days where I’d barely sleep, courses so intense I barely passed, and the constant weight of knowing that every decision could be a matter of life or death.

It was all worth it however. Because despite the long, chaotic days, there’s a certain peace that settles over me as soon as I step foot onto the hospital floor.

“Never been better,” I reply, taking a swig of my vanilla protein shake. “Why do you ask?”

Cliff, the security guard for the emergency department, side eyes me like he knows I’m full of it. “Because you can’t stop checking that damn phone of yours. Like you’re waiting on something or someone.”

Leave it to him to notice that anything is off. Ever since moving back to Lawson two years ago to work at the local hospital, I’ve taken most of my breaks back here with him. I’m not a smoker like he is, but there’s still something relaxing about being outdoors, my ass stationed on a bench while looking at a perfectly curated lawn.

“Stop busting me out, old man. Mind your own business over there,” I tease.

“Touchy. Knew I was onto something.” He extinguishes his cigarette in the ashtray of the garbage can before taking a seat on the bench next to me. “So, what’s her name? When’d you meet her?”

“There’s no girl. At least not the kind you’re insinuating. Just waiting for my sister to message me back is all.” Without thinking twice, I glance at the phone screen for the thirtieth time in twenty minutes .

He raises a scruffy dark eyebrow. “Hm. I don’t buy it.”

He’s onto my half-truth. Technically, I am waiting for my sister, Madi, to text back. But admitting that I asked her about her best friend, the woman I fell in love with a decade ago, is a confession I’d rather keep to myself. I’m dying to see her but have no good excuse to intrude on her life.

The reason she’s back in town in the first place is not a happy one either—it’s downright devastating.

From what I heard, her father died instantly at the scene. And coincidentally enough, her mother was brought here, to the ER at Lawson Hills Hospital. At 8:00 a.m., right before I was about to go home from my night shift, I heard the call come in. She was unrecognizable, but when I read her chart and saw the last name Thatcher, my heart dropped to the floor. It was a mad rush to help her, and in the end it wasn’t enough. When the time of death was called, a knot was in my throat. Death is never easy, but this one was different. I wasn’t the cause of the accident, yet I still felt a responsibility for not being able to save her. To not be able to prevent further heartbreak for Ella.

“Want me to set you up with my niece I’m always telling you about then? I think you two would get along.”

I wave him off. “Nah. Thanks though. I don’t have time to date.”

“You know, if you ever want to settle down, you’ll have to make time at some point. You ain’t getting any younger.”

“I’m only thirty-four. ”

He huffs out a laugh as he slaps his hands to his knees to stand. “Exactly.”

My phone chimes, and I instantly swipe the screen open to read the message.

Madi

Thanks for checking in. She’s upset, of course. But she’s tough. She’ll be okay.

Jude

Okay, well let me know if anyone needs anything. I’m more than happy to help.

Madi

Thanks, big bro. Hey, do you know yet if you’re coming to my bachelor/bachelorette getaway next weekend?

Jude

Still trying to trade work days with some people. But it’s not looking good, so I don’t think so.

Madi

Booooooooo. We’ll miss you.

Beside me, Cliff clears his throat. “Sure you don’t want to tell me her name yet?”

I laugh and swipe my badge to re-enter through the heavy metal side entrance. “Fuck off, Cliff.”

“Why so defensive, Judey?” he yells back.

Because I’m an idiot. And as soon as I heard she was back in town, it reignited an infatuation I’ve harbored for a woman I haven’t seen in a decade. Now, she’s lodged in my mind once again, and I have no idea how to silence the thoughts.

In fact, I’m not even sure if I want to.