Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

A t the knock on her door, Penny's heartbeat sped up. The darn thing raced, pumping blood throughout her body, heating her internal temperature until sweat gathered on her brow. Or maybe she was hot because she knew who stood behind that door. She knew that steady knock, the firm hand. As of last night, she had intimate knowledge of the owner of said hand.

"Get it together, Penny," she admonished herself, making her way to the door. "Nothing has changed."

Not entirely true. Some things had changed. Big things. But that didn't mean she had to get all hot and bothered every time her best friend came to the door. Just because BJ was here didn't mean he came for sex.

Please let him have come for sex.

Even though this was all supposed to be for procreation purposes, she discovered she enjoyed the more…extracurricular aspects of their intimacy.

When she opened the door, her smile and expectations of the night washed away as she took in BJ's somber appearance.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just a long day."

He plastered on his fake smile, the one he used when he didn't want to talk about things. Well too darn bad! They had years of friendship between them, no matter what dimensions this physical addition to their relationship brought on. He didn't get to fake anything. Not with her.

"BJ, come on. It's me." She grabbed his hand, tugging him inside and shutting the door behind him. Once she had them both seated on the couch, she placed their clasped hands in her lap. "We're best friends. You can always talk to me."

Tugging the band from around his bun, he shook his head. Thick, wavy locks of soft brown hair fell around his face. Her fingers itched to stroke through them, feel their silky heaven once again, but now didn't seem like the right time for such familiarity. Instead, she waited patiently as he tugged his own hands through his hair, laying back against the couch with a sigh.

"It's Ace and Charlie."

"What about them?"

"Nothing for you to worry about. Just annoying family stuff."

Her heart clenched at his words. Silly. He hadn't meant to upset her, but it did all the same. She knew his family wasn't technically hers, but sometimes she wished they were. At times, it seemed like she was a stranger in her own family. Her parents and sister loved her, she knew that, but she didn't really fit in with them. She didn't exactly fit in with the Jacksons either, but they accepted her for who she was. They didn't try to change her or make fun of her. And she fit with BJ, so much so that they were trying to make their own family. An unconventional one, sure, but a family all the same.

Perhaps that was why it pained her to hear him wave off his family problems as if they didn't concern her. They were friends—and lovers, for the time being. He concerned her and anything that hurt him also concerned her.

"You don't have to keep stuff in. Not around me."

His head turned on the back of her couch, eyes gazing at her with worry. "I don't want to upset you."

Ah. So his siblings had said something displeasing about her. No doubt having to do with their new closeness. She figured that would happen after the kiss at dinner, but he hadn't seemed to want to hide anything, so she went with the flow. Plus, somewhat distressingly, she was finding she couldn't resist any form of physical affection from him.

Not good. That's not what this is supposed to be about.

Shrugging off the deep introspection that would only lead her down a dark path, she squeezed his hand. "I'm not that young girl you saved from the big bad bullies in high school anymore, Bravo. You don't need to be so overprotective of me."

"I'm not overprotective."

Laughter bubbled out of her. "Oh really? So last month, when that big dog jumped on me at the farmer's market and got mud all over my clothes it must have been Ace in a BJ wig who gave the sweet puppy's owner such a stern talking to I thought the poor guy might wet himself."

He raised one dark brow. "Okay, first, that beast was in no way a puppy—"

"Great Danes are big, even as puppies."

He ignored her interruption, continuing, "Second, the guy needed to learn to control his giant of a dog if he was going to bring the animal out in public. I mean, the dog was cute, but he could have knocked you over and hurt you. That reveals bad dog ownership, not a bad dog."

"See?" She smiled as he proved her point.

He shook his head, lips curling in the faintest of smiles. "Okay, fine. I might be a teeny, tiny bit overprotective when it comes to you, but isn't that the way it's supposed to be with friends?"

She guessed. She only had him to judge by. Sad, but true.

"What happened between you guys after I left?"

He sighed, threading his fingers through hers and pulling their clasped hands into his lap. He stroked the back of her knuckles with his thumb, staring at their entwined fingers as he explained the reaction of his siblings to their kiss.

"You told them our plan?" she asked after he finished.

"Yeah. Ace kind of already knew. I mean, not the change from the clinical to the physical, but he knew I was going to help you have a baby."

She figured he would tell his brother. Heck, Ace probably already knew before BJ said anything. They had that freaky twin vibe thing where they always seemed to know what the other was thinking.

"Charlie didn't take it well, I assume?"

He grunted. "When does my sister ever take anything well?"

Good point. The woman was loyal and fierce in her love of family and friends, but she had a mean streak Penny tried to steer clear of. Worry gnawed at her to think her request had created a rift in BJ's relationships with his siblings. She never wanted that. She had so much love to give. When she'd realized there was no partner in her future, no one she could make a family with, doing it this way felt like the best plan. BJ was the perfect person to help her with it, but not at the expense of his family. Moisture gathered in the corner of her eyes. Sniffing, she quickly tried to blink it away before any tears fell.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to cause you any trouble. I can talk to Charlie and—"

"Hey, hey, hey." He released her hand, bringing his palms up to cup her face as she stared into her eyes. "We're fine. Everything is fine. Charlie's always in a snit over something. You know how she loves to hop on her high horse and rag on all of us about how wrong we are about everything. I'm pretty sure it's in the sister code somewhere."

A sound somewhere between a chuckle and a sob burst out of her. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure my sister has that handbook, too."

He leaned in, gently brushing his lips over hers. Involuntarily, her body leaned toward him, eager for another taste. Tilting his chin, his long hair flipped to one side as he used the hold he had on her face to create the perfect angle for their mouths to fuse. Her tongue darted out, caressing his lips, seeking entrance. He complied by opening his mouth and proceeding to devour her in a sensual assault that made her brain fuzzy.

After a few minutes, where it seemed her body temperature had risen to impossible heights, BJ pulled away. "Don't worry about what my sister thinks. Don't worry about what anyone thinks. There are only two people whose opinions matter and they're sitting right on this couch, totally gung-ho for their plan. As long as this agreement works for us, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, right?"

"Right."

"Good." He dropped the gentle hold he had on her face, arms going around her waist to haul her over and onto his lap. "Now. Since we're in agreement, what do you say we pick up where we left off this morning?"

A warm, aching, tingly sensation gathered at the apex between her legs. The same spot which was currently in the perfect position to rub against a very hard and bulging part of BJ's anatomy. As she did exactly that, he let out a deep groan of pleasure, hands gripping her hips tightly to press her more firmly against him.

He was right. It didn't matter what anyone else thought. The only people who should be concerned with their situation were the two people involved: them. And they'd agreed to keep things as they were. Friendship first. Sex wouldn't change them. The baby wouldn't change them. They'd agreed.

She would just ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of her gut that said they were fooling themselves.