11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Jake

I could hardly believe what I was doing. I swallowed hard, leaned in close to Max, and let him kiss me. As our lips met, heat flared in my body, pulling me toward him. Max inhaled sharply and leaned in, sliding a hand along my jaw. For a moment, everything disappeared except the two of us. It felt right.

Then, without warning, Max pulled away, his gaze dropping to stare at his lap. When he looked up at me again, uncertainty flickered in his eyes, a furrow between his eyebrows. A silent question hung between us in the dusty library air.

When I spoke, my voice was barely a whisper. "Are you sure?"

Max closed his eyes for a second before looking back at me and nodding. "I'm sure I want this."

I moved in and kissed him once again, this time parting my lips and coaxing his tongue into my mouth. The kiss was slow and unhurried, and I let myself slide my fingers along his neck, resting at the nape, and holding him close.

Max let out a soft groan and moved his hand to my side, just below my ribcage, and he made a fist in the fabric of my T-shirt. I couldn't stop myself from shifting in my seat, wanting more. I wasn't sure how long we kissed before footsteps on the stairs startled us apart.

"I'm about to lock up, guys," Jenny called. We each sat back in our chairs, Max's cheeks flushed, his lips red from the kiss, his hair mussed. "Did you find everything you needed?"

I looked over at Jenny and took a slow, deep breath, trying to regulate my racing heart. Panic bubbled up inside of me as it hit me that she could've seen what we were doing. How would I explain? Would she even question it? My throat tightened as my mind raced, trying to figure out what to say.

Before I could speak, Max gave her a winning smile. "Not everything, but it's a good start."

"Well, let me know if you need anything at all next time, okay? I can put this book back if you'd like."

"We will. And thank you so much." Max gathered his things and stood. "Have a great evening."

I scrambled to my feet and followed him out to the parking lot. We were silent until we reached his car, parked next to my truck. He met my gaze and took a breath. "Are we okay?"

My eyebrows shot up and I nodded. "More than okay. I…" Take the risk. What's the worst that can happen? I braced myself for rejection. "I'm not ready for the night to end. Do you want to come by and have dinner maybe?"

The smile that broke over his face was genuine, and he exhaled as his shoulders relaxed, looking relieved. "I'd love that."

"Then I'll see you back at my place."

My stomach churned with nerves the whole time I was driving home, Max's headlights in my rearview mirror. I knew what I wanted, but I was still afraid. There I was, nearly forty-five, and I was about to… I didn't know what I was about to do, but I was about to do it with a thirty-year-old TV producer. One who knew himself much better than I had at that age. He knew who he was and what he wanted, and for some reason, I was one of the things he wanted. And I was coming to terms with the fact that my great-grandfather had been… not straight. Gay maybe? Bi? I didn't know. It didn't matter much. The bottom line was that he never felt like he could be openly himself, and it hurt. Knowing he'd died hiding himself, having to give up his true love… it all made me so much more determined to push past my comfort zone and really live my truth.

We both pulled into the driveway and headed up the walk, Max close behind me. The moment the door shut behind us, he grabbed my arm, and when I turned to face him, he pulled me in for another kiss. This time the kiss was heated from the beginning, Max diving in with enthusiasm. He yanked me close and I grunted softly when our bodies collided. I encroached on his space, crowding him until he was backed against the door, and pressed my body hard against his, feeling the firm line of his erection in his jeans pressing into my hip as I slotted my knee between his thighs.

When we parted to catch our breath, Max dropped his head back against the door. "I really want to do more than just kiss you."

My chest tightened. "I'm not sure I'm ready for… you know, penetration."

"Yeah, no, of course. We barely know each other."

I bit my lip. "It's just…" I swallowed hard. "I'm sort of new to being with men."

He lifted his head and grinned at me, reaching between our bodies to stroke my erection through my jeans. "We can do other things besides penetration."

I groaned softly and rocked into his touch. "Also… I haven't been with anyone in a very long time."

Max pulled me to him and pressed a tender kiss to my lips. "It's okay. I don't mind going slow."

We stayed that way, kissing deeply for a long time, neither of us rushing to the next step. His hands caressed my arms and chest as I braced myself against the door and we kissed each other breathless, again and again. After what felt like hours, we broke apart to breathe, chests heaving, and I rested my forehead against his.

"Now what?"

Max's grin was wicked. "I'd really like to show you what else I can do with my mouth."

Lust surged through me. I groaned as he placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me backward until I stumbled my way to the couch and sank down on it. Max bit his already swollen lower lip as he lowered himself to the floor, kneeling in front of me and shoving my thighs apart. My breathing was tight as I watched him unzip my jeans. I lifted my hips so he could tug them down, along with my boxers, and my throat tightened as he wrapped a sure hand around my cock.

Without breaking eye contact, he slid his lips around my crown, stroking the slit with his tongue. I buried my fingers in his hair and watched as he took my length in his mouth, his cheeks hollowing as he sucked me. It had been so long since I'd had any kind of sex with anyone, and I wasn't sure I'd ever had a blow job that was satisfactory. Max was different, though. I liked him. I wanted him. And he wanted me, too.

He bobbed his head as he sucked, coating my shaft with saliva and using his hand to stroke when I wasn't completely buried in his mouth. His free hand gripped my hip, urging me to thrust into him. The damp heat of his mouth had me gasping quickly, rocking my hips up to meet him.

"God," I murmured. "Max, I—"

He moaned as he worked, taking me as deeply as he could, swallowing around me, his throat muscles contracting and fluttering.

I couldn't hold out much longer and I tightened my fingers in his hair to pull him away. He made a garbled sound that sounded like "uh-uh" and took my cock deep into his throat again. I tried to hold off, but the combination of his hot, wet mouth, his firm grip on my shaft, his tongue pressing insistently on the underside of my crown, and his unwavering eye contact—it was all too much. I couldn't last. My balls drew tight against my body and the heat building in my groin exploded in a flash. With a guttural moan, I came, my orgasm pulsing into Max's relentless mouth, where he swallowed eagerly and stroked me through it until I was too sensitive for him to continue.

When he rocked back on his heels, he wiped his mouth with the heel of his palm and grinned at me. "Was that okay?"

A breathy laugh escaped me. "Are you kidding? More than okay."

His tone was playful when he spoke again. "Was it the best blow job you've ever had?"

I laughed again. "You have no idea."

"Good. Then mission accomplished." He shifted until he was sitting on the couch next to me, an obvious erection in his jeans.

I wanted to reach out and touch him, to make him feel as good as he'd made me feel, but I was afraid to do something wrong. After a moment, I swallowed my nerves and did exactly what I was aching to do, which was run my palm along the scorching length of him.

Max groaned softly. "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel rushed or pressured or anything."

"I don't," I whispered, moving my fingers to unbutton and unzip his fly.

Max nodded and reached down to adjust himself, pulling his cock out. I tentatively stroked him, not wanting to do anything the wrong way.

"You're not going to break it," Max murmured with a soft chuckle.

"Yeah. Fuck, sorry."

He put a hand on my cheek. "It's okay. You don't have to do this tonight."

"I want to."

"Okay. Then let me show you." Max put his hand on mine and guided me to stroke his cock, showing me how firm he liked it, and how much he enjoyed my stroking the underside of the crown with my thumb as I worked him over. He withdrew his hand and sighed, nodding. "Yeah, just like that."

I watched my hand on his leaking erection as precum slicked the way, sliding down his length. I was mesmerized, watching myself touch him. I could hardly believe I was holding another guy's cock. It felt right, even if it was a little awkward. It was thick, thicker than my own, about the same length, the crown dark with arousal. As I built my confidence, he began to rock his hips up to meet my fist, fucking into it. I watched his face as he closed his eyes and began to unravel. He gripped the couch with one hand, hiking his shirt up with the other, putting his lean, firm abs and chest on display. I wanted to touch him there, but I was a little preoccupied. My free hand was—once again—buried in the hair at the back of his head, gripping firmly and tugging gently.

His breathing quickened, tightening as I kept stroking his cock, until he was letting out little moans with each exhale. "Getting close," he murmured.

"I want to see it. Want to watch you come."

"Shit," he hissed as his cock began to pulse thick strands of cum from the slit. It ran down his shaft and coated my fingers, making a slick mess. I continued working him through his orgasm, the way he'd done for me, until he was shuddering, and he put his hand on top of mine.

When we were both still, I looked at him again. His bottom lip was red from biting it, and his cheeks were still pink from my stubble. His hair was a fucking mess. He no longer looked like the perfect producer from New York or Hollywood or wherever. He looked much, much better.

After a little while, we cleaned up and I made a frozen pizza. While we ate, we put a cooking TV show on and chatted a little, keeping things light and easy. When the pizza dwindled to just a couple of leftover crusts, my chest tightened, knowing he was about to leave. I didn't want that. A few minutes later, he yawned and stretched his arms wide. It was nearly time to say goodbye.

"Stay the night with me," I blurted.

Max's eyebrows shot up. "You really want that?"

I nodded. "If you want to, I mean."

He gave me a soft smile. "I'd really like that."

"Then it's settled."

"I guess it is."

A few minutes later, I had Max wrapped in my arms in my bed. I didn't know what the hell was going to happen next, but at least for the moment, I was going to allow myself to be happy.